Favorite NPC one-liners?

Piojo

Love the one-liners in eso, but my favorite is from Modryn Oreyn from TES: Oblivion (fighters guild in Chorrel): “I’ve wiped things from my shoe that were smarter than you”. I’m not normally one for put-downs but the delivery was pure gold.

FrancisCrawford

Kalfis wrote: »

Do you know the old saying, Neither a borrower or a lender be?

Shakespeare probably didn't mean it either. That whole speech was meant to illustrate that Polonious was a blowhard.

FrancisCrawford

Izaki wrote: »

Elf_Boy wrote: »

Defiantly an adult game.

I dont remember the lines I do remember the first time I wandered into the -err- red light house in stonefalls. You know the one. Normally I am far from being the prude -- my first thought was kids play this game - BAD PARENTS BAD.

Then I started laughing and walked around to see who was doing what with/to who.

Very educational.

Where is that place never seen it

There's some of that in the Ebony Flask Inn in Ebonheart, where you can buy a cheap room and where you also have to go for the New Life Festival.

FrancisCrawford

1. I love almost everything Rolis Hlaalu -- the master writ guy -- says; his delivery is perfect.

My favorite is the one where you says that if you're going to make him wait this long for delivery "The least you could do is bring me a pillow".

2. Another consistently great NPC is the Orc woman who gives Undaunted pledges. Best is probably when she explains that Orcs express differences of opinion with swords, and "I'm very opinionated".

3. One quote I used to have in a signature block and now can't find the exact wording of is Abner Tharn's comment that he doubts the Lord of Schemes is wasting time with petty squabbles. "Perhaps we should follow his example?"

5. Several of the good delve bandit NPC lines are already above. But I also like:

• "Money is the root of all evil. Everybody needs roots."
• The one about the guy who goes to town to be pickpocketed because that's the only way he can get attention.

Hippie4927

My favorite one is the undaunted guy who wants help in the john because "my doctor told me not to lift anything heavy"! I always get a chuckle out of that one.

zaria

Fishoscandi wrote: »

The dunmer banging a hammer at a barrel in Stormhold: I don't seem to be making much progress.

That is an standard one lot uses. My favorite is an Khajiit in the Khenarthi’s Roost starting island, because of some artifact its raining inside an tower and he is mopping up the water.

SlinkySlack

"These warriors (combatants) are surprisingly fierce" Arena master from the Blessed Crucible. When hearing that I'm always getting fired up and ready to slay some more...

"This knight (Sir Cadwell) is starting to grow on me, should I be worried?" Lyris Titanborn


Ps Nice "necro"ing the "nerco"ed thread...

Edit to make bold...

Theodard

The Better of Two Evils quest has my personal favorite from the game.

"Cat ***? Who throws cat *** on people?"

Azurya

Beridi Hairy-Legs in Chorrol (Nord-woman)

that name brings me every time I pass by to smile!

FrancisCrawford

"It's easy, a child of five could do it. Unfortunately, we don't have a child of five, so I have to walk YOU through it." Abnur Tharn

Copied from @LadyLothi' helpful signature block.

Nightves

"You there! Fancy man! Fallen onto any swords lately?"

starlizard70ub17_ESO

AH93 wrote: »

Most of the things Abnur Tharn says, he's the only npc that seems to have any sense

"You ignaminus corpse herder, you're delusions of godhood are laughable." I died during the battle the first time I heard this because I was laughing too hard after hearing it. The line was delivered perfectly. A lot of the insults Abnur throws out there are really funny.

Ostacia

Like the OP, I like creating new characters, so I've run through the Wailing Prison a few times. I always laugh when Lyris says something like, "Tharn, you're the ugliest princess I've ever saved from a tower" and he replies with something like, "I can see your lack of education and repeated blows to the head haven't dulled your wit."

gepe87

WolfingHour wrote: »

"What delightful folly is this?" High kinlord Rilis

All of Rilis' dialogue is pretty great, all thanks to a great bit of voice acting.

That one! His sarcasm and irony are very good.

goldenarcher1

"My comrades look worse than they smell,don't they."

abzdeman

HOLD! Speak to me before entering Mournhold CITIZEN! Female Mournhold guard.

fgoron2000

a guy at the fish stink says "i've got clean socks!"

Raideen

The ones that pay homage to World of Warcraft when merchants say "I got what you need". Every time I hear a WoW goblins voice in my head saying those words.

CardboardedBox

I don't think they say it anymore for some reason, but that one guards said at one point that was something like, "want to loose ten pounds of ugly fat? I would be happy to chop your head off" was pretty good.

LadyAstrum

On my thief in Daggerfall, a guard tried to catch me and said:

"I was hoping for a different kind of contact."

Thought that was pretty funny.

Edit: whoops holy necro batman. Sorry, didn't realise this was such an old thread!

FrancisCrawford

One I've only heard once or twice:

"I'm not superstitious. That brings bad luck."

It was in some delve or public dungeon. Perhaps it's relatively new.

Tirps

That one breton guy in Belkarth "You want to cry me a river? Go ahead. Maybe you can float out of Craglorn."

newtinmpls

zaria wrote: »

That is an standard one lot uses. My favorite is an Khajiit in the Khenarthi’s Roost starting island, because of some artifact its raining inside an tower and he is mopping up the water.

Its not an artifact, its the unholy spellwork of that captive maomer

tinythinker

LadyAstrum wrote: »

On my thief in Daggerfall, a guard tried to catch me and said:

"I was hoping for a different kind of contact."

Thought that was pretty funny.

Yeah, the guards have some interesting lines. I've actually chosen the flee option specifically because of what they say when they catch me.

tinythinker

"Never say [butt] or hole in my presence again. Ever."

Oh, wait, that's from Ash vs. Evil Dead. How about--

"Always bring a gun to a puppet fight."

No, no, still AvED.

OK, OK, definitely ESO this time: "By Shor's shiny arse, if you aren't a robber and don't work for the witch, then you've got to help me!"- Stromgruf the Steady in Vvardenfell

This is a fascinating new addition to the lore of a mysterious and misunderstood deity that connect Nord and Khajiit lore if this phrase refers to a waxing moon...

O_LYKOS

"You wanna cry me a river?, Go ahead, maybe you can float out of Craglorn"

tinythinker

"Gerald, be a dear and fetch me that pen...Oh fine I'll get it myself!" - Master Firuth

(Gerald is a skull Firuth is holding in his hand, and the voice actor sounds a lot like the one who does Sheogorath.)

WeerW3ir

Favorite one-liner?

*HELLO THERE*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEq1Z0bjdwc

tinythinker

As someone who is mostly a healer, this is a keeper:

"You know the healer's oath -- do only moderate harm to those who cross you." - Tilenra Sildreth

playerkiller247

"Might I sing you a song, my lady? Can I tell you a tale?
We could take a private room. I've been told I have a.. silver tongue. "
-Amil the Deft