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Favorite NPC one-liners?

tinythinker
tinythinker
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From a kidnapped NPC in a cage awaiting gruesome experimentation after being freed...

"That's the last time I accept an invitation from a mysterious robed stranger."
Experienced, new, returner? Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

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Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
(And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)


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Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this
  • katkat42
    katkat42
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    I've been playing through the Pact newbie garden. At one point, the boat captain who takes you from Bleakrock to Bal Foyen says, "I'm so glad I could save all these lives. And all these coins, as well. These poor, innocent coins. I will protect them."
    Stonehenge ROCKS!
  • Tigeracer
    Tigeracer
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    Anything razum dar says. I love that cat.
  • Sasky
    Sasky
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    Next time you see a forum troll: "Some enjoy bringing grief to others. They remind M'aiq of mudcrabs--horrible creatures with no redeeming qualitites."

    Just about anything M'aiq says is good.
    Sasky (Zaniira, Daggerfall Covenant)
    Addons: AutoInvite, CyrHUD, Others
  • JKorr
    JKorr
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    You look like a good sturdy one. Should I start with my whip or the crop?

    Some of the "idle" comments the Dark Seducers have can be a little disturbing...
  • Potenza
    Potenza
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    "want to lose 10 lbs of ugly fat? I'll be happy to cut off your head"

  • Potenza
    Potenza
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    "I need another drink like a head in the hole"
  • Potenza
    Potenza
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    "Surprise me! Say something intelligent!"
  • majinstef
    majinstef
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    "want to lose 10 lbs of ugly fat? I'll be happy to cut off your head"

    best one I read so far =)
  • freespirit
    freespirit
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    You gotta luv the 'drunken Nords'..........

    ''One more drink and she'll look good''......

    Always makes me smile :D
    When people say to me........
    "You're going to regret that in the morning"
    I sleep until midday cos I'm a problem solver!
  • Braidas
    Braidas
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    "I've got a hangover the size of Cyrodiil", and "If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one"?
  • KenjiJU
    KenjiJU
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    "Have you ever heard the phrase..."
  • LadyShauna
    LadyShauna
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    freespirit wrote: »
    You gotta luv the 'drunken Nords'..........

    ''One more drink and she'll look good''......

    Always makes me smile :D

    I passed an NPC and I thought they said to ME, "One more drink and you'll look good". I dropped everything I was doing at that moment, my jaw dropped, I am standing there as he walks away with not even a glance back at me. I'm suddenly mortified that I'm not as beautiful as I believed myself to be... And now you tell me it was about someone else? :dizzy_face: Well good!

    Gotta say Razum Dar is a charmer, but I also love the things Pacrooti writes to me about his stealing opportunities, if that counts.
    Lady Shauna - Breton/Sorcerer/DPS-Healer/Vampire/DC/
    Lady Luna Lockheart - Breton/Templar/Healer/Human/DC/
  • DuelWieldingCheesyPoofs
    "Its been weeks since ive seen action"

    innuendos lol
  • Elf_Boy
    Elf_Boy
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    Defiantly an adult game.

    I dont remember the lines I do remember the first time I wandered into the -err- red light house in stonefalls. You know the one. Normally I am far from being the prude -- my first thought was kids play this game - BAD PARENTS BAD.

    Then I started laughing and walked around to see who was doing what with/to who.

    Very educational.
    ** Asus Crosshair VI Hero, Ryzen 1800x, 64GB DDR4 @ 3000, GTX 1080 ti, 4K Samsung 3d Display m.2 Sata 3 Boot Drive, m.2 x4 nvme Game Drive **
  • Eckblad
    Eckblad
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    "It's af fine day to stay out of trouble"
  • Pseudolo
    Pseudolo
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    "Remove yourself! I'm a married woman!"
  • Elf_Boy
    Elf_Boy
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    I walked by an NPC yesterday who told me "All Kajiiti are grey in the dark" Nice Ben Franklin reference.
    ** Asus Crosshair VI Hero, Ryzen 1800x, 64GB DDR4 @ 3000, GTX 1080 ti, 4K Samsung 3d Display m.2 Sata 3 Boot Drive, m.2 x4 nvme Game Drive **
  • phatbandit
    phatbandit
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    can't remember exactly but...

    "thieves are about, keep an eye open...and one hand on your sweetroll..."
  • Tekalynn
    Tekalynn
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    Elf_Boy wrote: »
    Defiantly an adult game.

    I dont remember the lines I do remember the first time I wandered into the -err- red light house in stonefalls. You know the one. Normally I am far from being the prude -- my first thought was kids play this game - BAD PARENTS BAD.

    Then I started laughing and walked around to see who was doing what with/to who.

    Very educational.

    "Oh, you'll just have to wait your turn...my lovely."
  • Elf_Boy
    Elf_Boy
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    Tekalynn wrote: »
    Elf_Boy wrote: »
    Defiantly an adult game.

    I dont remember the lines I do remember the first time I wandered into the -err- red light house in stonefalls. You know the one. Normally I am far from being the prude -- my first thought was kids play this game - BAD PARENTS BAD.

    Then I started laughing and walked around to see who was doing what with/to who.

    Very educational.

    "Oh, you'll just have to wait your turn...my lovely."

    It was clearly not a 1v1 situation - at least in some of the rooms. So, no I dont think anyone would have been bothered the least by someone er, lending a hand (or you know erecting the spine of, um, er, friendship) and sharing.
    ** Asus Crosshair VI Hero, Ryzen 1800x, 64GB DDR4 @ 3000, GTX 1080 ti, 4K Samsung 3d Display m.2 Sata 3 Boot Drive, m.2 x4 nvme Game Drive **
  • Valymer
    Valymer
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    I heard a woman NPC say one time, "Every girl has her price. Mine is 5 gold."
  • Evolv3d
    Evolv3d
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    Npc merchant in Craglorn = My Wife told me i had to shift more stuff, so i took a sheild out of a create and put it in a barrel dunno how this helps.

    always makes me chuckle
  • tinythinker
    tinythinker
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    "Now that's a lizard I could wrap my fingers around." - Neer (in Murkwater).
    Experienced, new, returner? Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
    (And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)


    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this
  • MercutioElessar
    MercutioElessar
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    "That was unexpectedly competent. You'd make an adequate house servant" (Haskill, first Mages Guild Quest)
    Edited by MercutioElessar on October 18, 2014 1:34PM
    If I've ever offended you,
    just know that from the bottom of my heart,
    I really don't give a ***.

    144
  • pureskills101
    pureskills101
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    I Havent heard the 10lbs of fat one yet! But that one did make me laugh
  • LynthePin
    LynthePin
    Soul Shriven
    One of the Auridon guards said this to me, and once I stopped laughing, I put it as my quote on all my posts.
    Is that you I can smell?
  • Tabbycat
    Tabbycat
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    I could swear I heard an NPC in Stormhaven (around Alcair castle) saying "Hide your kids, hide your wife..."
    Founder and Co-GM of The Psijic Order Guild (NA)
    0.016%
  • tinythinker
    tinythinker
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    The following aren't both one-liners, but that's a flexible thing. I can't believe I didn't notice the soup sisters the other two times I played through the Pact storyline. Both are found in Eastmarch. I like the way they continue the tradition of the Cyrodillic version of Argonian names being blunt and simplistically descriptive.

    Makes-One-Soup (Deldwine's Inn, Fort Amol): "One soup. As long as it's delicious, that's all anyone ever needs."

    Makes-Many-Soups (Jorrun's Stand, near north gate)

    Soups: "Soup! Soup for everyone!"
    Player: "You must make a lot of soup."
    Soups: "Many soups. Many different flavors."
    Player: "Sounds good! What are my choices today?"
    Soups: "No choices. Today I make root vegetables in a silverskin broth."
    Player: "One soup? That's no many soups!"
    Soups: "Many soups, but not all at once. I have only one pot! If you are too greedy, you get no soup at all!"

    Hmm, an Argonian soup ***.

    Edit: Filter kicked in. If you've ever heard of any of the iconic characters from the show Seinfeld, you can figure it out. ("No soup for you!!!")
    Edited by tinythinker on October 21, 2014 1:00AM
    Experienced, new, returner? Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
    (And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)


    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this
  • tinythinker
    tinythinker
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    Quick follow-up:

    "You have that wonderful musky scent of fur and dirt and grass and old meat. Mmmmm!" - Thane Oda Wolf-Sister
    Experienced, new, returner? Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
    (And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)


    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this
  • phatbandit
    phatbandit
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    Hmm, an Argonian soup ***.

    Edit: Filter kicked in. If you've ever heard of any of the iconic characters from the show Seinfeld, you can figure it out. ("No soup for you!!!")

    HA! love that 'the other 'n' word' gets filtered!!

    good thing there are no threads discussing WW2! :D

    btw - it shows up if u quote it, i can read it while i type up this post!
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