The Elder Scrolls Online

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Favorite NPC one-liners?

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  • tinythinker
    tinythinker
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    "My carryalls will keep you most valuable possessions safe from cutpurses, pickpockets, robbers, marauders, floods, famines, and rampaging beasts of all shapes and sizes. I guarantee it!" - Purple Plumes
    ❤Experienced, new, returner?❤ Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
    (And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)


    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this
  • Izaki
    Izaki
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    Elf_Boy wrote: »
    Defiantly an adult game.

    I dont remember the lines I do remember the first time I wandered into the -err- red light house in stonefalls. You know the one. Normally I am far from being the prude -- my first thought was kids play this game - BAD PARENTS BAD.

    Then I started laughing and walked around to see who was doing what with/to who.

    Very educational.

    Where is that place :o never seen it
    @ Izaki #PCEU
    #FrenchKiss #GoneFor2YearsAndMyGuildDoesn'tRaidAnymore
    #MoreDPSthanYou
    #Stamblade
  • tinythinker
    tinythinker
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    IzakiBrotherSs wrote: »
    Elf_Boy wrote: »
    Defiantly an adult game.

    I dont remember the lines I do remember the first time I wandered into the -err- red light house in stonefalls. You know the one. Normally I am far from being the prude -- my first thought was kids play this game - BAD PARENTS BAD.

    Then I started laughing and walked around to see who was doing what with/to who.

    Very educational.

    Where is that place :o never seen it

    It's in the city of Ebonheart.
    ❤Experienced, new, returner?❤ Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
    (And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)


    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this
  • Fishoscandi
    Fishoscandi
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    The dunmer banging a hammer at a barrel in Stormhold: I don't seem to be making much progress.
    Fishoscandi - Orc NB
    Cookie of Dough - Dunmer Templar
    Smells Like Tree Spirit - Bosmer Sorc

    EU PC

  • tinythinker
    tinythinker
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    "I can recommend a good book to get your life back in order. It's called, 'Pay Your Bounty, Criminal Scum' ." - Belkarth Guard
    ❤Experienced, new, returner?❤ Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
    (And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)


    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this
  • Oreyn_Bearclaw
    Oreyn_Bearclaw
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    It's.....TRAP!!!!
  • MythicEmperor
    MythicEmperor
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    Shadesofkin wrote: »
    "The only way to change a slavers mind, is to drive a sword through it" -Dragonstar Arena Champion

    That's what wards are for.
    With cold regards,
    Mythic

    Favorite Characters:
    Kilith Telvayn, Dunmer Telvanni Sorcerer (main)
    Kilith, Dunmer Magblade (old main)
    Vadusa Venim, Dunmer crafter (older main)
    Hir Hlaalu, Dunmer Warden
    Søren Icehelm, N'wah Warden
    Fargoth of Morrowind, Bosmer commoner
  • tinythinker
    tinythinker
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    How did I miss this before? Well, I guess I was busy doing speedruns all those years ago.

    "Well, my situation can't get any worse... so now it can only get better. Onwards and upwards!"
    - Janneke Meadmoon, trapped in a cage in Elinhir awaiting torture and execution when the vestige arrives
    ❤Experienced, new, returner?❤ Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
    (And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)


    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this
  • ArchMikem
    ArchMikem
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    "Irrki even left a dead Skeever to show how much she cares!"
    CP2,000 Master Explorer - AvA One Star General - Console Peasant - The Clan
    Quest Objective: OMG Go Talk To That Kitty!
  • tinythinker
    tinythinker
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    ArchMikem wrote: »
    "Irrki even left a dead Skeever to show how much she cares!"

    Hehe. heh. eww.
    ❤Experienced, new, returner?❤ Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
    (And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)


    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this
  • QUEZ420
    QUEZ420
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    Rip "A borrower or a lender bee"
  • ArchMikem
    ArchMikem
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    Wow btw. I was 400th post at 5:55pm.... Such timing.
    CP2,000 Master Explorer - AvA One Star General - Console Peasant - The Clan
    Quest Objective: OMG Go Talk To That Kitty!
  • tinythinker
    tinythinker
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    Not quite an NPC, but...

    "Slaves are now easier to steal from. You monster."

    "Vivec’s underwear is now the same color as his loin cloth, for those of you who previously checked."

    - G.B., PTS Patch Notes v3.1.0
    ❤Experienced, new, returner?❤ Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
    (And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)


    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this
  • Drakkdjinn
    Drakkdjinn
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    http://imgur.com/HFD606n
    Edited by Drakkdjinn on August 12, 2017 3:14AM
  • newtinmpls
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    The quartermaster in the undaunted enclave in DC has a suggestive invitation to "come take a look"; can't recall the exact wording, but the voice and question/invitation is quite pleasantly distracting.
    Tenesi Faryon of Telvanni - Dunmer Sorceress who deliberately sought sacrifice into Cold Harbor to rescue her beloved.
    Hisa Ni Caemaire - Altmer Sorceress, member of the Order Draconis and Adept of the House of Dibella.
    Broken Branch Toothmaul - goblin (for my goblin characters, I use either orsimer or bosmer templates) Templar, member of the Order Draconis and persistently unskilled pickpocket
    Mol gro Durga - Orsimer Socerer/Battlemage who died the first time when the Nibenay Valley chapterhouse of the Order Draconis was destroyed, then went back to Cold Harbor to rescue his second/partner who was still captive. He overestimated his resistance to the hopelessness of Oblivion, about to give up, and looked up to see the golden glow of atherius surrounding a beautiful young woman who extended her hand to him and said "I can help you". He carried Fianna Kingsley out of Cold Harbor on his shoulder. He carried Alvard Stower under one arm. He also irritated the Prophet who had intended the portal for only Mol and Lyris.
    ***
    Order Draconis - well c'mon there has to be some explanation for all those dragon tattoos.
    House of Dibella - If you have ever seen or read "Memoirs of a Geisha" that's just the beginning...
    Nibenay Valley Chapterhouse - Where now stands only desolate ground and a dolmen there once was a thriving community supporting one of the major chapterhouses of the Order Draconis
  • Feanor
    Feanor
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    I thought the most favourite one liner of all times was...

    "Do you know how long I've been looking for you?"

    - Stuga, seemingly everywhere
    Main characters: Feanor the Believer - AD Altmer mSorc - AR 50 - Flawless Conqueror (PC EU)Idril Arnanor - AD Altmer mSorc - CP 217 - Stormproof (PC NA)Other characters:
    Necrophilius Killgood - DC Imperial NecromancerFearscales - AD Argonian Templar - Stormproof (healer)Draco Imperialis - AD Imperial DK (tank)Cabed Naearamarth - AD Dunmer mDKValirion Willowthorne - AD Bosmer stamBladeTuruna - AD Altmer magBladeKheled Zaram - AD Redguard stamDKKibil Nala - AD Redguard stamSorc - StormproofYavanna Kémentárí - AD Breton magWardenAzog gro-Ghâsh - EP Orc stamWardenVidar Drakenblød - DC Nord mDKMarquis de Peyrac - DC Breton mSorc - StormproofRawlith Khaj'ra - AD Khajiit stamWardenTu'waccah - AD Redguard Stamplar
    All chars 50 @ CP 1900+. Playing and enjoying PvP with RdK mostly on PC EU.
  • ThePrinceOfBargains
    ThePrinceOfBargains
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    “Now you can play skeever-wicket with your own skull!" ~Clavicus Vile

    I want a “skeever-wicket” game mode.
  • Xoelarasizerer
    Xoelarasizerer
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    <Remains Silent>
  • Jaimeh
    Jaimeh
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    My all-time favourite quote/exchange is when you buy a drink for one of the undaunted members in Coldharbour:

    "Listen! That one bought this one a drink!"

    "Tubidan, you are dead. What a waste of coin."

    Tubidan is so exuberant, whereas the other undaunted says it in a very deadpan way, and the whole thing always makes me laugh! :smiley:

    My most recent favourite one is by Barilzar in Vvardenfell, when he asks for protection: 'I have a natural aversion to daedra!'. It's probably more to do with the delivery than the actual quote, but it gave me a good chuckle :)
  • Runschei
    Runschei
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    Razum-dar says something about that you should stop by him later on the evening during the Messages Across Tamriel quest. At least as a dunmer female he did. If anyone got a screenshot of it, please share it ahahha
  • tinythinker
    tinythinker
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    Drakkdjinn wrote: »
    HFD606n.jpg
    Yeah, love those visual gags. Need more, devs. Need more!
    ❤Experienced, new, returner?❤ Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
    (And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)


    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this
  • tinythinker
    tinythinker
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    How did I miss this in the closed beta? It's more than one, but worth it. So worth it. Thanks for putting it on YouTube, JarlUlfric...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4p0eKp_B9o

    It's such a great tune, regardless of lyrics. Nice melody. But the lyrics make it gold:

    You nest in our lofts, spray dung on the wall, Tear up our roofs like a mid-summer squall, Frighten our children and make the babes bawl, Promise you'll never change.

    Full lyrics below:
    While cliff-racers spread their wings, so broad,
    And lesser birds bend their knees, so awed,
    You snarl, and hiss, and spit, and screech!
    I hear the guars grunting each to each,
    "What a terror! What savage speech!"
    Oh to be like you.

    Your temper flares at the smallest offense,
    You snatch our guars and mangle our fence!
    You nest in our lofts, spray dung on the wall,
    Tear up our roofs like a mid-summer squall,
    Frighten our children and make the babes bawl,
    Promise you'll never change.

    Cliff-strider, stride so high,
    On fiery crags, you touch the sky!
    Cliff-strider, stride so high,
    Screech loud as thunder, may you never die!

    You're vengeful and petty like my mother-in-law,
    You stink like you've got old fish in your craw,
    Your shrieks shatter glass, and rattle my ears,
    Your rotten-fig smell brings grown mer to tears,
    You *** on our pillows, they smell bad for years,
    You're Vvardefell's pride and joy!

    Cliff-strider, stride so high,
    On fiery crags, you touch the sky!
    Cliff-strider, stride so high,
    Screech loud as thunder, may you never die!

    Nearly worth the cost of the expansion on its own.

    That and the... ahh... interrupted bard song (no spoiler)
    Edited by tinythinker on December 21, 2017 2:01AM
    ❤Experienced, new, returner?❤ Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
    (And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)


    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this
  • Jaraal
    Jaraal
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    From one uppity Dark Elf noble in Vvardenfell:


    "Hey, s'wit! What are you doing over there!"

    "You're new at this, aren't you?"

    "You're as subtle as a bull netch in a pottery shop!"
  • Jaraal
    Jaraal
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    Runschei wrote: »
    Razum-dar says something about that you should stop by him later on the evening during the Messages Across Tamriel quest. At least as a dunmer female he did. If anyone got a screenshot of it, please share it ahahha

    Reminds me of Queen Aryenn talking about that one time with her and Razum-Dar in a town that starts with a W and involves a drunken schoolmarm and a velvet dress, lol. Those two certainly get around! ;)
  • Eyesinthedrk
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    I erect the spine of praise.

    Pro tip: Don’t use it as a pick up line unless she plays eso too.
  • Jaimeh
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    Oh, another one: the NPC in CoA2 watching the ash titan descending 'That's no fowl I ever saw' :smiley:
  • FrancisCrawford
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    milkbox wrote: »
    my favorite was from a hireling.

    "This one tried molasses for the first time. It was sticky, sweet and wonderful. This one thinks that next time, he will try other parts of the mole."

    I kept that undeleted for a while, along with a couple of others from Pacrooti and Gavin.
  • FrancisCrawford
    FrancisCrawford
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    Saturn wrote: »
    "I like to crush skulls and eat sweetrolls and I am all out of sweetrolls."

    One of my favorites.

    What I didn't know until recently was that the original version was connected to the killing of zombies

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1TcnQxV4BE

    And what I didn't know until a few minutes ago is that the actor (Rowdy Piper, RIP) is said to have adlibbed the line.
  • FrancisCrawford
    FrancisCrawford
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    Emma_Overload wrote: »
    "Sometimes the prey turns and nips us... it is a small thing"

    ---- Molag Bal

    I love a lot of Molag Bal lines. They're not funny, generally; they're just great.

    I also was amused that some new ones are clearly based on Donald Trump.

    The other great recent Trump one is when the premier in Clockwork City, who we've already overheard as being an anti-immigration zealot, is describing as insisting that his subordinates praise him all the time.
  • FrancisCrawford
    FrancisCrawford
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    Molec wrote: »
    "No charge to have a look" from a female merchant in Rawl'Kha i think.

    All over. It's even in the rotation from the crown store merchant.
    Edited by FrancisCrawford on December 21, 2017 7:26AM
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