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Favorite NPC one-liners?

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  • lardvader
    lardvader
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    "Incineration Beetlessssssssss"

    "Maybe I see you later at the Silver Nord hmm?"

    "It's....a.....trap"
    CP 1200+ PC EU EP
  • krachall
    krachall
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    “Ah, Titanborn, it’s good to see that your lack of education and repeated blows to the head haven’t dulled your wit.” - Abnur Tharne.
  • CaffeinatedMayhem
    CaffeinatedMayhem
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    "You throw it up, you lick it up." - Nela Sethri ( brewer in The Watch House, Davon's Watch).
  • kypranb14_ESO
    kypranb14_ESO
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    ESO Guard: "I'm going to live forever, or die trying." My favorite from this game anyway, mostly because it's punny.
  • fgoron2000
    fgoron2000
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    thatlaurachick wrote: »
    "You throw it up, you lick it up." - Nela Sethri ( brewer in The Watch House, Davon's Watch).



    blecchhh....that's my least favorite <g>

  • Mureel
    Mureel
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    Always the stablemaster npc in Rivenspire Shornhelm; Need something to riiide? *looks at you* lol the best!
  • Menelaos
    Menelaos
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    "If you have nothing to say, say nothing."
    --- Khajit Mercenary, Rawl'Kha

    (actually a Mark Twain quote)
    ...und Gallileo dreht sich doch!
    Knochen der Erde
  • xenowarrior92eb17_ESO
    xenowarrior92eb17_ESO
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    SHALL I TEACH YOU ANOTHER LESSON OF FUTILITY!? - Rakkhat
  • tinythinker
    tinythinker
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    "{I}f you want your goods serviced, just show me your gold." -- Flicks-His-Tongue, in the Windhelm Outlaws Refuge
    Edited by tinythinker on December 30, 2017 6:45PM
    ❤Experienced, new, returner?❤ Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
    (And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)


    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this
  • FrancisCrawford
    FrancisCrawford
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    I still love the factotum that (we learn from dialogue) has been incompletely reprogrammed from guard to retail duty, and greets potential customers with:

    "How may I detain you today?"
  • tinythinker
    tinythinker
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    "I have no woman and no friend, but I have the Undaunted song." --Hogandar Hammerhurl (City of Ash II)
    ❤Experienced, new, returner?❤ Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
    (And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)


    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this
  • tinythinker
    tinythinker
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    The delivery makes this one:

    "Since when is it a crime to pretend to be one the queen's tax collectors?" -- Hazaznaz, Vulkhel Guard Outlaws Refuge
    ❤Experienced, new, returner?❤ Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
    (And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)


    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this
  • AngelFires333
    AngelFires333
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    "Rudeness is a weak mans imitation of strength"

    -Sai Sahan
  • Blkadr
    Blkadr
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    Artjuh90 wrote: »
    the main story line has some pretty funny comments (most from abnur he can be so rude =) )
    this one made me laugh the first time i heared it
    Lyris:"You must be the ugliest princess I've ever rescued from a tower, Tharn."

    Tharn: I'm surprised that your lack of intellect and repeated blows to the head haven't dulled your wit, Titanborn.
  • dyn0m1k3
    dyn0m1k3
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    **Spawns at Stormhold wayshrine for horse training and crafting research on 6th alt**
    "They say the hist weeps with happiness when an Argonian hatches.... How can a tree weep?"
    Xbox Series X EU Server GT: dyn0m1k3
  • FrancisCrawford
    FrancisCrawford
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    dyn0m1k3 wrote: »
    **Spawns at Stormhold wayshrine for horse training and crafting research on 6th alt**
    "They say the hist weeps with happiness when an Argonian hatches.... How can a tree weep?"

    I hear that almost every time I go to Hissmir, whether for the recent festival or to turn in the quest from the delve.
  • smoothscape
    smoothscape
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    Tirps wrote: »
    That one breton guy in Belkarth "You want to cry me a river? Go ahead. Maybe you can float out of Craglorn."

    Absolutely my favourite also. It's so harsh because it is being said to someons begging to get him into safety out of Craglorn.
  • BigBadVolk
    BigBadVolk
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    The GUild has need of you!
    "The ass is similar to the opinion: Everyone has it, but no one cares about the others!"
    I'm 120 years old
  • tinythinker
    tinythinker
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    "Well, my shop should distract me until my ultimate demise at the hands of some horrid machine" - Ravam Sedas
    ❤Experienced, new, returner?❤ Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
    (And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)


    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this
  • Glockcoma725
    Glockcoma725
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    "RISE MINIONS!" - CoA1 FInal Boss
    "You can't take us all on!?!" (Usually said by the last 2-3 human mobs left)
    "The Stones will NOT ALLOW IT!" - Agganor. (We quote this constantly)


    Everything the merchants say.
    "Honest merchant, trust this one!"
    "No charge to have a look!"
    PC-NA CP570 @Glockcoma725
    Maximus Dezimus Meridius Tank DragonKight
    Ri'Skarr DD Nightblade
    Myrddin Emrys DD Sorceror
    Smokes-All-Herbs Healer Templar
    Azog the Defiler DD Warden
  • Azurya
    Azurya
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    Welcome to Rivenspire, Land of war and women!
  • Zbigb4life
    Zbigb4life
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    When you approach the NPC mages at a keep wayshrine in Cyrodill and all they say is "What!"
  • Feanor
    Feanor
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    My all time favorite line in all the game:

    „This is the end of the line! Valkyn Skoria wants you dead!”

    Mainly because of the voice of the Titan, I loved it the first time I heard it.

    Edited by Feanor on January 31, 2018 12:58PM
    Main characters: Feanor the Believer - AD Altmer mSorc - AR 50 - Flawless Conqueror (PC EU)Idril Arnanor - AD Altmer mSorc - CP 217 - Stormproof (PC NA)Other characters:
    Necrophilius Killgood - DC Imperial NecromancerFearscales - AD Argonian Templar - Stormproof (healer)Draco Imperialis - AD Imperial DK (tank)Cabed Naearamarth - AD Dunmer mDKValirion Willowthorne - AD Bosmer stamBladeTuruna - AD Altmer magBladeKheled Zaram - AD Redguard stamDKKibil Nala - AD Redguard stamSorc - StormproofYavanna Kémentárí - AD Breton magWardenAzog gro-Ghâsh - EP Orc stamWardenVidar Drakenblød - DC Nord mDKMarquis de Peyrac - DC Breton mSorc - StormproofRawlith Khaj'ra - AD Khajiit stamWardenTu'waccah - AD Redguard Stamplar
    All chars 50 @ CP 1900+. Playing and enjoying PvP with RdK mostly on PC EU.
  • tinythinker
    tinythinker
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    "Can I interest you in a room at the local inn? Actually, wait. That came out wrong." - Felande Demarie

    :wink:


    "I've had tenants tenants cram their rooms with the wildest things. Mounts, foliage, assistants--I mean, it's an inn room!" (also Feldande)
    Edited by tinythinker on March 31, 2018 8:54PM
    ❤Experienced, new, returner?❤ Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
    (And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)


    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this
  • delta_mystic
    delta_mystic
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    http://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Connynque

    270px-ON-npc-Connynque.jpg


    fence in Vulkhel Guard

    "Been dipping our hands into strange cookie jars, have we? Show me what you have."
    "What delights have you pilfered for me today?"

    If you've reached your limit for both selling and laundering, she will instead say:
    "Oh dear, it seems I've outspent my means! Come back later, will you?"
  • themaddaedra
    themaddaedra
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    A Telvanni noble gets drunk, writes something that you could barely call a "poem" to someone, and your quest is to steal that embarassing piece of paper for her.

    You get the paper, you deliver it to the Telvanni noble, and you say "Hide the ink, when next you drink!".

    It's not an NPC quote tho, but still a good proof of story writing skills in this game :)
    Edited by themaddaedra on March 31, 2018 9:46PM
    PC|EU
  • Scorpiodisc
    Scorpiodisc
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    "Do you know how long I have been looking for you?"
  • DoctorESO
    DoctorESO
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    "Surprise me. Say something intelligent."

    - Guard, when they used to say insults
  • Arobain
    Arobain
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    Your like your weapon titanborn, once you lose your temper you lose your worth - Tharn
  • Hurbster
    Hurbster
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    something something "netch fart".
    So they raised the floor and lowered the ceiling. Except the ceiling has spikes in it now and the floor is also lava.
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