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• https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/684716

Ask Saucy Jack!

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  • anitajoneb17_ESO
    anitajoneb17_ESO
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    Where's Lydia ?

  • D0PAMINE
    D0PAMINE
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    Dude, where's my guar?
  • wenchmore420b14_ESO
    wenchmore420b14_ESO
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    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree???
    Drakon Koryn~Oryndill, Rogue~Mage,- CP ~Doesn't matter any more
    NA / PC Beta Member since Nov 2013
    GM~Conclave-of-Shadows, EP Social Guild, ~Proud member of: The Wandering Merchants, Phoenix Rising, Imperial Trade Union & Celestials of Nirn
    Sister Guilds with: Coroner's Report, Children of Skyrim, Sunshine Daydream, Tamriel Fisheries, Knights Arcanum and more
    "Not All Who Wander are Lost"
    #MOREHOUSINGSLOTS
    “When the people that can make the company more successful are sales and marketing people, they end up running the companies. The product people get driven out of the decision making forums, and the companies forget what it means to make great products.”

    _Steve Jobs (The Lost Interview)
  • Hippie4927
    Hippie4927
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    Why do I need apples to make a basket of tomatoes?
    PC/NA/EP ✌️
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    anitajoneb17_ESO wrote: »
    Where's Lydia ?

    Where'd you see her last? She's always in the last place you look.
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    D0PAMINE wrote: »
    Dude, where's my guar?

    I stole it, and wrote "JA" on the side. Now I ride my new jaguar all over Tamriel. Sweet ride!
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    wenchmore420b14_ESO wrote: »
    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree???

    DON'T BRING YOUR REDDIT MESS IN HERE
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    Hippie4927 wrote: »
    Why do I need apples to make a basket of tomatoes?

    Tomatoes are just apples with the middle scooped out and replaced with strawberry jelly. Everyone knows this.
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • wenchmore420b14_ESO
    wenchmore420b14_ESO
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    Saucy_Jack wrote: »
    wenchmore420b14_ESO wrote: »
    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree???

    DON'T BRING YOUR REDDIT MESS IN HERE

    Because it was dead!! :) (Popular Bosmer joke).
    Drakon Koryn~Oryndill, Rogue~Mage,- CP ~Doesn't matter any more
    NA / PC Beta Member since Nov 2013
    GM~Conclave-of-Shadows, EP Social Guild, ~Proud member of: The Wandering Merchants, Phoenix Rising, Imperial Trade Union & Celestials of Nirn
    Sister Guilds with: Coroner's Report, Children of Skyrim, Sunshine Daydream, Tamriel Fisheries, Knights Arcanum and more
    "Not All Who Wander are Lost"
    #MOREHOUSINGSLOTS
    “When the people that can make the company more successful are sales and marketing people, they end up running the companies. The product people get driven out of the decision making forums, and the companies forget what it means to make great products.”

    _Steve Jobs (The Lost Interview)
  • anitajoneb17_ESO
    anitajoneb17_ESO
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    Saucy_Jack wrote: »
    anitajoneb17_ESO wrote: »
    Where's Lydia ?

    Where'd you see her last? She's always in the last place you look.

    But I don't remember !
    Where should i start looking ? 6 years ago or 900 years ahead ?
    And wherever I look first she won't be because she's in the place I'll look last so I should start with the wrong place and finish with the last place in order for it to be the last. But if I look in the future maybe I should do it backwards... ?

  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    anitajoneb17_ESO wrote: »
    But I don't remember !
    Where should i start looking ? 6 years ago or 900 years ahead ?
    And wherever I look first she won't be because she's in the place I'll look last so I should start with the wrong place and finish with the last place in order for it to be the last. But if I look in the future maybe I should do it backwards... ?

    I find that Lydia is generally close by to Picklejaria.
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Michae
    Michae
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    If ESO is set about 1000 years before Skyrim can I be my own great great great great great great great great great great grandfather?
    "I bear the cruel weight of certainty. Total, absolute, relentless certainty. People rarely comprehend the luxury of doubt... the freedom that comes with indecision. I envy you."
    ―Sotha Sil

    @Michae PC/EU
  • Saucy_Jack
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    Michae wrote: »
    If ESO is set about 1000 years before Skyrim can I be my own great great great great great great great great great great grandfather?

    No, that's gross. Nobody wants to get it on with old geezers. You can be your own great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather.
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    wenchmore420b14_ESO wrote: »
    Because it was dead!! :) (Popular Bosmer joke).

    As someone who appreciates jokes like this, I'll let it slide.

    THIS TIME
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • vamp_emily
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    looking at some of these answers it appears "You don't know Jack!".

    #joking
    #HaveANiceDay
    If you want a friend, get a dog.
    AW Rank: Grand Warlord 1 ( level 49)

  • max_only
    max_only
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    Rake wrote: »
    When is Saucy Jack?
    Saucy_Jack wrote: »
    Rake wrote: »
    When is Saucy Jack?

    I'll do you one better: WHY is Saucy Jack?

    No one ever asks, how is Saucy Jack?

    giphy.gif
    #FiteForYourRite Bosmer = Stealth
    #OppositeResourceSiphoningAttacks
    || CP 1000+ || PC/NA || GUILDS: LWH; IA; CH; XA
    ""All gods' creatures (you lot) are equal when covered in A1 sauce"" -- Old Bosmeri Wisdom
  • January1171
    January1171
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    What's the best pie?
  • Enemy-of-Coldharbour
    Enemy-of-Coldharbour
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    Were you ever 'just' Jack?

    Silivren (Silly) Thalionwen | Altmer Templar | Magicka | 9-Trait Master Crafter/Jeweler | Master Angler | PVE Main - Killed by U35
    Jahsul at-Sahan | Redguard Sorcerer | Stamina | Werewolf - Free Bites | PVP Main
    Derrok Gunnolf | Redguard Dragonknight | Stamina | Werewolf - Free Bites
    Liliana Littleleaf | 9-Trait Grand Master Crafter/Jeweler (non-combat)
    Amber Emberheart | Breton Dragonknight | Stamina | Master Angler
    Vlos Anon | Dunmer Nightblade | Magicka | Vampire - Free Bites
    Kalina Valos | Dunmer Warden | Magicka | Vampire - Free Bites
    Swiftpaws-Moonshadow | Khajiit Nightblade | Stamina
    Morgul Vardar | Altmer Necromancer | Magicka
    Tithin Geil | Altmer Sorceress | Magicka
    Dhryk | Imperial Dragonknight | Stamina

    Guild Master - ESO Traders Union
    PC/NA - CP 2540+
  • kojou
    kojou
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    Why is it every time I get to a place that hasn't been uncovered in many years there are already adventurers running around inside of it?

    Also, I get annoyed every time one of the 5 refers to me as the "Vestige" like I am just some extra appendage that they could probably do without, yet I am the one that has to go in and kill Molag Bal. Is there a proper (preferable passive aggressive) response that conveys how I feel the next time they call me vestige?
    Edited by kojou on October 28, 2019 5:54PM
    Playing since beta...
  • Ilsabet
    Ilsabet
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    What's the best dance to do while waiting for dragons to come rain fiery death upon the land?
    Ilsabet Menard - DC Breton Nightblade archer - Savior of Pretty Much Everything, Grand Overlord & Empress Nubcakes
    My characters and their overly elaborate backstories
    Ilsabet's Headcanon
    The Adventures of Torbyrn Windchaser - Breaking the Ice & Ashes to Ashes
    Bastian's Tattoos: An Inaccurate Headcanon
    PC NA
  • anitajoneb17_ESO
    anitajoneb17_ESO
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    Saucy_Jack wrote: »
    anitajoneb17_ESO wrote: »
    But I don't remember !
    Where should i start looking ? 6 years ago or 900 years ahead ?
    And wherever I look first she won't be because she's in the place I'll look last so I should start with the wrong place and finish with the last place in order for it to be the last. But if I look in the future maybe I should do it backwards... ?

    I find that Lydia is generally close by to Picklejaria.

    Pickl... what ?? Is that contagious... ?

  • Veinblood1965
    Veinblood1965
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    Will I ever find a girlfriend that plays ESO? All I can find is WoW gals.
    Edited by Veinblood1965 on October 28, 2019 6:57PM
  • Saucy_Jack
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    max_only wrote: »
    No one ever asks, how is Saucy Jack?

    giphy.gif

    I mean, I could explain how I exist, but I suspect despite ESO being a mature-rated game, it would probably get this thread shut down.
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 28, 2019 9:16PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    January1171 wrote: »
    What's the best pie?

    That's a redundant question. Something is the best because it IS pie.
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    Enemy-of-Coldharbour wrote: »
    Were you ever 'just' Jack?

    We don't speak of "the dark days".
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    kojou wrote: »
    Why is it every time I get to a place that hasn't been uncovered in many years there are already adventurers running around inside of it?
    How do you know those "adventurers" aren't simply fever-dream hallucinations brought on by inhaling toxic spores that USED to be sealed up, but have now been released because these places have been newly uncovered?
    kojou wrote: »
    Also, I get annoyed every time one of the 5 refers to me as the "Vestige" like I am just some extra appendage that they could probably do without, yet I am the one that has to go in and kill Molag Bal. Is there a proper (preferable passive aggressive) response that conveys how I feel the next time they call me vestige?

    /kissthis and /flipthebird are good in these instances.
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    Ilsabet wrote: »
    What's the best dance to do while waiting for dragons to come rain fiery death upon the land?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjPau5QYtYs
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    anitajoneb17_ESO wrote: »
    Pickl... what ?? Is that contagious... ?

    Yes. Highly.
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    Veinblood1965 wrote: »
    Will I ever find a girlfriend that plays ESO? All I can find is WoW gals.
    The wording of this question seems to imply that you're looking for "a girlfriend who plays ESO", not "a girl who plays ESO that you can ask to be your girlfriend". And it also implies that your girlfriend, whoever she is now, plays WoW. And it also seems to imply that you have more than one girlfriend who plays WoW.

    So my advice: STOP DATING MULTIPLE GIRLS AT THE SAME TIME. Every sitcom in existence has taught me this is an incredibly bad idea and always ends poorly.
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    vamp_emily wrote: »
    looking at some of these answers it appears "You don't know Jack!".

    *performs Black Sacrament*
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
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