The Elder Scrolls Online

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• https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/684716

Ask Saucy Jack!

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  • I_killed_Vivec
    I_killed_Vivec
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    Can you introduce me to your moon sugar dealer? ;)
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    StabbityDoom wrote: »
    what's your favorite geological rock type? In tamriel, of course.
    Glowy rocks. That is, of course, the very professional and technical term.
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:59PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    Haquor wrote: »
    @Saucy_Jack , why do you feel entitled to sleep when us aussies have questions for you? Do you have plans for an oceanic server?
    Both questions are answered with "I'm biding my time."

    ehehehehehehehehhAAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:59PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    martinhpb16_ESO wrote: »
    Why do DKs tbagg me and send troll messages that I'm a coward for using stealth?

    Why do Sorcs troll me and say they were wearing PVE gear and that I was a noob for killing them using stealth?

    Why do Temps jab the s**t out of me and laugh at my stealth?

    Why do Wardens run off when I come at them from stealth?

    Why do Necros necro?

    Why do NBs stealth at my stealth?

    Please help
    I think you're confused - when YOU say "stealth", I think you mean "ability to hide", which is incorrect. "Stealth" is a contraction of "steal health" and is pronounced "steelth". And do YOU like it when people steal your health? No one does! That's why I wear my tin foil hat - so the government can't steal my health! But that answers all your steelth questions.

    And Necros necro because they enjoy reading old threads.
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 5:00PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    RefLiberty wrote: »
    Will the people look down upon me if I run around in a prisoner rags outfit?
    It depends on how tall you are.
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 5:00PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    Tommy_The_Gun wrote: »
    (Ignoring the fact that it is disabled right now and is not working despite a huge overhaul it got)

    Why MM (Match maker or group finder) does not support Trials & Arenas ?
    It supports normal dungeons, veteran dungeons and even DLC veteran dungeons (very difficult content and arguably more difficult than normal Trials).
    It also supports Battlegrounds. And you can also do Cyrodill or IC even if solo.
    So basically, the only content that is not that difficult, but just hard to access in kinda "locked" behind it.
    Is there some deeper reason for the limited group finder functionality, or those are just technical issues & ZOS laziness ?
    What do you think ?
    It's the squirrels. It's ALWAYS the squirrels. DANG SQUIRRELS!!!! *shakes fist angrily*
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 5:00PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    Loves_guars wrote: »
    Why is there always someone running ahead of the tank?
    Because they can't run ahead of the car; car goes too fast. Tanks are slower.
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 5:00PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    agegarton wrote: »
    Ahem..... you mean my friend picked it up in Deshaan, of course.
    Mm, yes, your friend. Ahem.

    >__>

    <__<

    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 5:00PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    I_killed_Vivec wrote: »
    Can you introduce me to your moon sugar dealer? ;)
    Can I? Yes. Will I? No.
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 5:00PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Ragnarock41
    Ragnarock41
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    If saucy jack was so great, why didn't they make saucy jack 2?
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    Ragnarock41 wrote: »
    If saucy jack was so great, why didn't they make saucy jack 2?
    Because that would have made things waaaay 2 saucy.
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 5:01PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • NoodleESO
    NoodleESO
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    Oh great Saucy Jack our Prometheus! Lend us your wisdom!

    Why, is my inventory full when I need space but empty when I don't?
  • Dreyloch
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    Here's a couple for ya OP...
    Why do we park on a driveway, and drive on a parkway? Also, what is the speed on an unladen Swallow flying into a headwind of 3 knots? =P
    "The fear of Death, is often worse than death itself"
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    NoodleESO wrote: »
    Oh great Saucy Jack our Prometheus! Lend us your wisdom!

    Why, is my inventory full when I need space but empty when I don't?
    I made a handy chart which explains everything:

    SHxHC31.jpg
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 5:01PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    Dreyloch wrote: »
    Here's a couple for ya OP...
    Why do we park on a driveway, and drive on a parkway? Also, what is the speed on an unladen Swallow flying into a headwind of 3 knots? =P
    Not ESO-related, you MISCREANT
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 5:01PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Skorro
    Skorro
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    Does a kahjiit tea-bagging smell like earl grey or rooibos?
  • Skorro
    Skorro
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    Dreyloch wrote: »
    Here's a couple for ya OP...
    Why do we park on a driveway, and drive on a parkway? Also, what is the speed on an unladen Swallow flying into a headwind of 3 knots? =P

    European or African swallow :3
  • Saucy_Jack
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    Skorro wrote: »
    Does a kahjiit tea-bagging smell like earl grey or rooibos?
    Spiced chai. It's actually not that bad!
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 5:02PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • BoraxFlux
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    Who will the next backstabbing supersecret contender be in the Best Zone Competition? Also asking for a friend.
  • Saucy_Jack
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    BoraxFlux wrote: »
    Who will the next backstabbing supersecret contender be in the Best Zone Competition? Also asking for a friend.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siwpn14IE7E
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
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    agegarton wrote: »
    How many times must I kill Molag Bal before Molag Bal is dead?
    How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man? That many.
    agegarton wrote: »
    Did I actually kill Molag Bal the first time, but poor server stability and roll-backs means that he keeps forgetting that he's dead, ensuring that I must once more gird my loins and venture forth to smite his flabby ass all over again?
    Your time prioirities are all messed up. More killing; less loin-girding.
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • D0PAMINE
    D0PAMINE
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    Why do I wake up naked and covered in blood after every full moon?
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    D0PAMINE wrote: »
    Why do I wake up naked and covered in blood after every full moon?
    Because when you moon people, they beat you up, steal your clothes, and leave you for dead.
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • BoraxFlux
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    Saucy_Jack wrote: »

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siwpn14IE7E

    Never thought of Tom Cruise being a Daedric Prince in an iron Dova. The droppings must be devastating. 0_0
  • JimmyJuJu
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    Why are Khajiitis and Argonians forced to wear the same type of fashion as the other non-tailed races?
  • Mrs_Malaka
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    Dear Saucy_Jack,
    Would you be my secret santa exchange friend this year, please?
    "But screw your courage to the sticking-place,
    And we’ll not fail."

    PC/NA & EU
  • Saucy_Jack
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    JimmyJuJu wrote: »
    Why are Khajiitis and Argonians forced to wear the same type of fashion as the other non-tailed races?

    Because Khajiiti and Argonian pants require a hole to be cut for the tails. Normally their pants don't have distinct markings to distinguish the front and back so there was a very real danger of them putting their pants on backwards and giving all of Tamriel a free show. So they adopted the clothing of the other races, which has a button-up fly in the front. You just can't see it because your graphics are set too low.

    Yes, "ultra" is still too low.
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
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    Mrs_Malaka wrote: »
    Dear Saucy_Jack,
    Would you be my secret santa exchange friend this year, please?
    THERE IS NO SANTA THERE IS ONLY PIE KING.

    But sure. Though it's not really a secret now, is it?
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • anitajoneb17_ESO
    anitajoneb17_ESO
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    What happens if an argonian girl gets pregnant by an Orc ?
    (I know it's a FAQ but it never got answered properly. Everyone pretends not to know, so please enlighten me).

  • Saucy_Jack
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    anitajoneb17_ESO wrote: »
    What happens if an argonian girl gets pregnant by an Orc ?
    (I know it's a FAQ but it never got answered properly. Everyone pretends not to know, so please enlighten me).

    The argonian is the mother and the orc is the father in this scenario, so if it's a boy it's an Orc-gonian, and if it's a girl it's an Arg-orc-ian. If the father is an argonian and the mother is an orc, those classifications get switched.
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
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