The Elder Scrolls Online

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• https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/684716

Ask Saucy Jack!

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  • Rake
    Rake
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    When is Saucy Jack?
  • agegarton
    agegarton
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    (and if I can have a third question, what's this rash down here? I'm asking that one for a friend, obviously........)
  • barney2525
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    Zacuel wrote: »
    Am I going to die alone?

    Nah. Lots of people dye.


    B)
  • TheImperfect
    TheImperfect
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    Why can you only have 25 quests in the journal at once?
  • vibeborn
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    Why couldn't I taunt the tiger in Fang Lair when another person claimed they have been able to many times?
  • stewhead2ub17_ESO
    stewhead2ub17_ESO
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    @Saucy_Jack:

    Nice humorous post! A refreshing way to begin the morning other than the usual whiny non-entertaining forum fodder

    +1
  • DreadDaedroth
    DreadDaedroth
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    Oh wise Saucy Jack, I might ask thee:
    Why don't we have a pocket daedroth pet?:(
    Edited by DreadDaedroth on October 27, 2019 11:13AM
  • GenjiraX
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    Why does the game keep telling me to hide guards and which one is the Surface Dragon?
  • Haquor
    Haquor
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    @Saucy_Jack , why do you feel entitled to sleep when us aussies have questions for you?

    Do you have plans for an oceanic server?
  • martinhpb16_ESO
    martinhpb16_ESO
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    Why do DKs tbagg me and send troll messages that I'm a coward for using stealth?

    Why do Sorcs troll me and say they were wearing PVE gear and that I was a noob for killing them using stealth?

    Why do Temps jab the s**t out of me and laugh at my stealth?

    Why do Wardens run off when I come at them from stealth?

    Why do Necros necro?

    Why do NBs stealth at my stealth?

    Please help
    At least the spelling is difficult for you.
    Hew's Bane*
  • StabbityDoom
    StabbityDoom
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    what's your favorite geological rock type? In tamriel, of course.
    PC/NA
    EHT zealot
    streamer: http://twitch.tv/stabbitydoom
  • Ragnarock41
    Ragnarock41
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    Saucy_Jack wrote: »
    Was there ever an ESO-related question that you thought was too dumb to ask? Here's your chance to satiate your curiosity with sarcastic answers!

    Well if it isn't Saucy Jack, just a little late, as usual :trollface:
    Edited by Ragnarock41 on October 27, 2019 1:24PM
  • RefLiberty
    RefLiberty
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    Will the people look down upon me if I run around in a prisoner rags outfit?
  • Tommy_The_Gun
    Tommy_The_Gun
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    (Ignoring the fact that it is disabled right now and is not working despite a huge overhaul it got)

    Why MM (Match maker or group finder) does not support Trials & Arenas ?
    It supports normal dungeons, veteran dungeons and even DLC veteran dungeons (very difficult content and arguably more difficult than normal Trials).
    It also supports Battlegrounds. And you can also do Cyrodill or IC even if solo.
    So basically, the only content that is not that difficult, but just hard to access in kinda "locked" behind it.
    Is there some deeper reason for the limited group finder functionality, or those are just technical issues & ZOS laziness ?
    What do you think ?
  • Loves_guars
    Loves_guars
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    Why is there always someone running ahead of the tank?
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    TelvanniWizard wrote: »
    Does anyone love me?

    All are loved in the Pie Kingdom. Pie King is a benevolent ruler.
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:56PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    daemonios wrote: »
    Do you know how long Stuga has been looking for you?

    Not long enough apparently; she hasn't lost her voice yet from reminding me.
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:56PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    Pyvos wrote: »
    How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

    The same amount that Rob Zombie would rob zombies if Rob Zombie could rob zombies.
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:57PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    Raideen wrote: »
    Pyvos wrote: »
    How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

    Dear god...this is twice tonight I was coming to post something that was said exactly how I was going to phrase it literally as I was about to post it.

    Not a question, so HOW DARE YOU
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:57PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    Sheezabeast wrote: »
    Saucy Jack, is karma going to catch up with the jerk who scammed me in a crown trade?

    Think of karma as like, the slow moving monster from the movie "It Follows". It might be easy to outrun, but it's constantly coming, and when it finally gets to you, it ain't pretty.

    Unless you've been good; then the monster turns into the leprechaun from Lucky Charms commercials and gives you puppies that bark rainbows.
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:57PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    Anotherone773 wrote: »
    I have not been able to complete the main quest, Soul Shriven. The quest is solo and i have multiple personality disorder. According to my "character screen" i have 7 personalities, some of which are rather frightening. Tell me, how can i go on the quest to find my soul?
    Well, it's kind of like horcruxes from Harry Potter. You have to do the quest for EACH personality to get your whole soul back; so since you haven't been able to complete it, you remain some half-souled monster. YOU MONSTER!
    Anotherone773 wrote: »
    Also, if you have time... I notice the ground turns red some times. Is it angry because i am walking on its face?
    It's *blushing* because you're walking on its face. Personally it makes me kinda uncomfortable.
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:57PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    a_salty_pirate wrote: »
    Why would you pie me in the face in Senchal today, we all came to admire your outfit :'(

    I refer you to my answer in comment #44 of this thread.
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:57PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
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    CMDR_Un1k0rn wrote: »
    Will I ever find Auriel's Quiver again?

    What's interesting is that everyone thinks the Quiver is a physical holder for arrows. Auriel's Quiver is actually a dance. To find it again, you need to watch "How Stella Got Her Groove Back", which is definitely all about remembering lost dances.

    Alternatively you can do the little bob-n-snap dance from "Hitch"; this substitutes seamlessly for all dances.
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:58PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    Rake wrote: »
    When is Saucy Jack?

    I'll do you one better: WHY is Saucy Jack?
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:58PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    agegarton wrote: »
    (and if I can have a third question, what's this rash down here? I'm asking that one for a friend, obviously........)
    Knahaten Itch. You picked it up in Deshaan.
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:58PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    mrsrobot wrote: »
    Why can you only have 25 quests in the journal at once?
    What the game doesn't tell you is that your "journal" is actually the bare skin on your arms that you're hurriedly writing things down on to keep track of them. There's only so much room, especially when you insist on writing down all the quest context as well!
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:58PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    vibeborn wrote: »
    Why couldn't I taunt the tiger in Fang Lair when another person claimed they have been able to many times?
    The other guy's insults were better. Try "Yo' mama's stripes are so terrible, I thought she was a piece of Fruit Stripe gum!"
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:59PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • agegarton
    agegarton
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    Saucy_Jack wrote: »
    agegarton wrote: »
    (and if I can have a third question, what's this rash down here? I'm asking that one for a friend, obviously........)

    Knahaten Itch. You picked it up in Deshaan.

    Ahem..... you mean my friend picked it up in Deshaan, of course.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    DreadDaedroth wrote: »
    Oh wise Saucy Jack, I might ask thee:
    Why don't we have a pocket daedroth pet?:(
    Counter-question: Do you REALLY want something that breathes fire sitting in your pocket?
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:59PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    GenjiraX wrote: »
    Why does the game keep telling me to hide guards and which one is the Surface Dragon?
    You need to hide all the guards because one of them IS the Surface Dragon, "Surface Dragon" being the official title of the head guard, of course. You hide them so they can surprise thieves and rapscallions by jumping out at them from the shadows rather than unsuccessfully chasing them to the outlaw refuges.
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:59PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
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