The Elder Scrolls Online

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• https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/684716

Ask Saucy Jack!

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  • Malthorne
    Malthorne
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    Saucy_Jack wrote: »
    Malthorne wrote: »
    Why do khajiits lick their own butts?
    Malthorne wrote: »
    Will I ever be able to log in again?

    Is that what you call going #2? First of all, gross. Second of all, a visit to the doctor should allow you to do that again.


    Didn’t realize it was that bad.. thanks jack!
  • Langdon64
    Langdon64
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    In Vivec City, the stable master is surrounded by guar, but he only sells horses. WHY?!
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    Langdon64 wrote: »
    In Vivec City, the stable master is surrounded by guar, but he only sells horses. WHY?!

    He packs his horse inventory into the guars' saddlebags. If he sold the guar, where would he keep his horses? Come on.
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:48PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Froil
    Froil
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    Whats your favorite motif, recipe, race to play, race culturally or religiously, in-game event?
    "Best" healer PC/NA
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    Froil wrote: »
    Whats your favorite motif, recipe, race to play, race culturally or religiously, in-game event?

    Motif: Irrelevant; I wear my super-baller wedding suit.
    Recipe: Longfin whatever-it-is.
    Race: Been rocking a Breton since the beginning.
    Culture: The Pie-makers of ancient Atmora.
    Religion: Snugglorrism. If you seek us out, you will find us.
    Event: Jesterfest, of course!
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:48PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Hippie4927
    Hippie4927
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    Was that you that threw a pie at me when I was standing atop a rock in Mournhold yesterday?
    PC/NA/EP ✌️
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    Hippie4927 wrote: »
    Was that you that threw a pie at me when I was standing atop a rock in Mournhold yesterday?

    I refer you to my answer in comment #31 in this thread.
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:48PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Cireous
    Cireous
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    Why, when I bend down to loot seashells,
    do they not give me anything,
    not even shiny seashell furniture pieces
    as I stroll along beaches?
    tfrwGK0.png
  • max_only
    max_only
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    What do the numbers in parentheses mean? What do the orange numbers mean? Why is Barbas so cute?
    #FiteForYourRite Bosmer = Stealth
    #OppositeResourceSiphoningAttacks
    || CP 1000+ || PC/NA || GUILDS: LWH; IA; CH; XA
    ""All gods' creatures (you lot) are equal when covered in A1 sauce"" -- Old Bosmeri Wisdom
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    Cireous wrote: »
    Why, when I bend down to loot seashells,
    do they not give me anything,
    not even shiny seashell furniture pieces
    as I stroll along beaches?
    tfrwGK0.png

    Because they're the cheapskates of the sea. Even the fish think they're cheap.
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:48PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • max_only
    max_only
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    Why do you keep following me around??????????
    #FiteForYourRite Bosmer = Stealth
    #OppositeResourceSiphoningAttacks
    || CP 1000+ || PC/NA || GUILDS: LWH; IA; CH; XA
    ""All gods' creatures (you lot) are equal when covered in A1 sauce"" -- Old Bosmeri Wisdom
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    max_only wrote: »
    What do the numbers in parentheses mean? What do the orange numbers mean? Why is Barbas so cute?

    Numbers in parathenses like this "(2342)" refer to the number of pies thrown at you.
    Orange numbers refer to the amount of oranges you've eaten.
    Barbas is so cute because he's a GOOD WIDDLE BOY OH YES HE SURE IS
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:49PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    max_only wrote: »
    Why do you keep following me around??????????

    NO ONE ESCAPES PIE KING!! HUZZAH!!!!
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:49PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • max_only
    max_only
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    We should have a bake off, my character Beau Langiere the Boulanger is the pie king

    I will concede you are the sauciest Saucier.
    Edited by max_only on October 27, 2019 5:09AM
    #FiteForYourRite Bosmer = Stealth
    #OppositeResourceSiphoningAttacks
    || CP 1000+ || PC/NA || GUILDS: LWH; IA; CH; XA
    ""All gods' creatures (you lot) are equal when covered in A1 sauce"" -- Old Bosmeri Wisdom
  • Lord_Bidr
    Lord_Bidr
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    Was the last patch truly a 'performance' update?
    ~ The brightest lights often cast the darkest shadows. ~
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    max_only wrote: »
    We should have a bake off, my character Beau Langiere the Boulanger is the pie king

    I will concede you are the sauciest Saucier.

    Not a question. Also...

    *performs Black Sacrament*
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:49PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    Lord_Bidr wrote: »
    Was the last patch truly a 'performance' update?

    I don't use the patch, so I don't know. Are you smoking less? Then yes!
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:49PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • Monte_Cristo
    Monte_Cristo
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    Jack, what is your favourite sauce?
  • Saucy_Jack
    Saucy_Jack
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    Monte_Cristo wrote: »
    Jack, what is your favourite sauce?

    Three dots, three dashes, three dots.
    Edited by Saucy_Jack on October 27, 2019 4:49PM
    ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
  • TelvanniWizard
    TelvanniWizard
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    Does anyone love me?
  • daemonios
    daemonios
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    Do you know how long Stuga has been looking for you?
  • Dojohoda
    Dojohoda
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    M'aiq the Liar told me that you don't like the color red or sauce. Is this true?
    Fan of playing magblade since 2015. (PC NA)
    Might be joking in comments.
    -->(((Cyrodiil)))<--
  • Pyvos
    Pyvos
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    How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
  • Raideen
    Raideen
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    Pyvos wrote: »
    How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

    Dear god...this is twice tonight I was coming to post something that was said exactly how I was going to phrase it literally as I was about to post it.

  • Sheezabeast
    Sheezabeast
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    Saucy Jack, is karma going to catch up with the jerk who scammed me in a crown trade?
    Grand Master Crafter, Beta baby who grew with the game. PC/NA. @Sheezabeast if you have crafting needs!
  • Anotherone773
    Anotherone773
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    I have not been able to complete the main quest, Soul Shriven. The quest is solo and i have multiple personality disorder. According to my "character screen" i have 7 personalities, some of which are rather frightening. Tell me, how can i go on the quest to find my soul?


    Also, if you have time... I notice the ground turns red some times. Is it angry because i am walking on its face?
  • a_salty_pirate
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    Why would you pie me in the face in Senchal today, we all came to admire your outfit :'(
    Edited by a_salty_pirate on October 27, 2019 8:21AM
    Definitely not a spy.

    PC NA - Formerly Xbox NA
    Toons:
    • Mchappy-Heal ~ PvE Magplar DPS/Heals (AD)
    • Bug-Breath ~ PvE Dragonknight Tank (EP)
    • Guilty-Of-Crime ~ PvE Stamblade DPS (AD)
    • Lil-Miss-Warmsnatch ~ PvE/PvP Magblade DPS (AD)
    • Make-Auridon-Great-Again ~ PvP Magsorc DPS (AD)
    • Geralt's Best Friend ~ PvP Stamwarden DPS (AD)
    • Baby Wings ~ PvP Stam DK DPS (AD)
    • Argonian-Leather-Salesman ~ PvP Mag DK DPS (AD)
    • Erects-Spine-For-Gold ~PvP MagWarden Healer (AD)
    • Shogun of the Salt ~ PvP MagNecro Healer/DPS (AD)
    • Borc the Stamplorc ~ PvP Stamplar DPS (AD)
    • Bawque the Stamsorc ~ PvP Stamsorc DPS (AD)
    • Bohk of Some Renown ~ PvP StamNecro DPS/Support (AD)
    • Boark the Half-Breton Orc ~ PvP Magplar Healer (AD)
  • CMDR_Un1k0rn
    CMDR_Un1k0rn
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    Will I ever find Auriel's Quiver again?
    In-game username: Un1korn | Happy member of the PCNA UESP guild (Resident Daggerfall Covenant enjoyer) | Main & basically only character: Crucian Vulpin, Imperial Dragonknight of the Daggerfall Covenant, and Undaunted Bulwark (I tank) | Mountain bike enjoyer and vulpine appreciator | If you know me from PCEU: No | To ZOS: THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME BRING MY HORSE INTO BATTLE!
  • agegarton
    agegarton
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    How many times must I kill Molag Bal before Molag Bal is dead?

    And if I can have a second question.......

    Did I actually kill Molag Bal the first time, but poor server stability and roll-backs means that he keeps forgetting that he's dead, ensuring that I must once more gird my loins and venture forth to smite his flabby ass all over again?
  • barney2525
    barney2525
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    Chicharron wrote: »
    As an ESO player.

    What can I do to make the Astros win the World Series?

    I have $500 in that.

    Don't look now, but Houston just won tonight and its tied at 2 games apiece.


    B)
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