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The Markarth DLC and Update 28 base game patch are now available to test on the PTS! Read the full patch notes here: https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/categories/pts/
What's the best/funniest NPC line you've heard?
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DogFaceInBananaPatch✭✭✭✭On the Alcaire Castle grounds in overheard someone shouting: "Hide your children, hide your wife! The redgaurd's going to attack at any moment."
I nearly rolled out my chair!
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Huxley12345✭✭"I am the Artificer Madam! That is why I dare!"
The fearless delivery by Telenger to a Deadric Prince was fantastic. -
KhajitFurTrader✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭This seems to be a random NPC guard line in DC:
"I like to crush skulls and eat sweet rolls... and I'm all out of sweet rolls!"
If this isn't a reference to the Duke, I don't know.
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PlagueMonk✭✭✭✭✭While not an NPC per se, I had one of my crafting hirelings blame his poor haul on him having to tend to his poor, sick dog! -
Blud✭✭✭✭✭MercyKilling wrote: »"Go ahead, surprise me. Say something intelligent."
Every time I hear this, I think the retort should be, "You wouldn't understand it."
Edited by Blud on August 21, 2014 4:13AM -
leeux✭✭✭✭✭I got this one today in Reaper's March
PC/NA - Proud old member of the Antique Ordinatus PopulusMy charsLiana Amnell (EP mSorc L50+) =x= Lehnnan Klennett (AD mTemplar L50+ Healer/Support ) =x= Ethim Amnell (DC mDK L50+)Leinwyn Valaene (AD mSorc L50+) =x= Levus Artorias (AD mDK-for-now L50+) =x= Madril Ulessen (AD mNB L50+) =x= Lyra Amnis (AD not-Stamplar-yet L50+)I only PvP on AD chars
~~ «And blossoms anew beneath tomorrow's sun >>»
~~ «I am forever swimming around, amidst this ocean world we call home... >>»
~~ "Let strength be granted so the world might be mended... so the world might be mended."
~~ "Slash the silver chain that binds thee to life"
~~ Our cries will shrill, the air will moan and crash into the dawn. >>
~~ The sands of time were eroded by the river of constant change >> -
stefan.gustavsonb16_ESO✭✭✭✭✭
✭There is a female wood elf NPC in Bramblebreach named Firillin, or something like that. If you chat her up, she says this:
"What are you doing?"
"I play with the ants. Build them little houses, give them jobs, introduce them to each other so they make ant babies, that sort of thing."
Has to be a reference to "The Sims". Hilarious in its own right, too. -
MAOofDC✭✭✭✭I heard a bandit complaining to another bandit. "So I broke four lock picks trying to open a chest only to find out it was empty." My only thought was that suck I sure hope it doesn't happen to me.Guild Master of the Guild <The Wrath of Sheogorath>. CHEESE AND CABBAGE FOR EVERYONE!!! -
Srugzal✭✭✭✭✭Because of this thread, I've been writing down gems. It seems that they're nearly endless. Here's just 2:
1. A female Argonian warrior says, "I've got mud caked in places where mud should not be."
2. I've long been a fan of pirate movies, and the best of them is "Treasure Island" (1934, Gary Cooper, Wallace Beery as Long John Silver). There's a quest in Coldharbour where a bunch of Argonian pirates get caught up in a cursed treasure and a phantom fleet. All but one of them get turned into skeletons, but the redoubtable Pirate Captain is not deterred by this setback. In a line worthy of Long John Silver, but in the driest, flattest monotone Argonian she intones, utterly without emphasis or accent,"And I swear by the blood of me crew, that spook will pay for this wicked trick."
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seanolan✭✭✭✭KhajitFurTrader wrote: »This seems to be a random NPC guard line in DC:
"I like to crush skulls and eat sweet rolls... and I'm all out of sweet rolls!"
If this isn't a reference to the Duke, I don't know.
I believe it is a reference to the immortal cult classing starring Rowdy Roddy Piper, "They Live", in which he enters a bank full of aliens that only he can see, and declares, "I am here to kick a*s and chew bubble-gum. And I'm all out of bubble-gum." and procedes to devastate a building full of aliens. -
Talrenos✭✭✭✭I was at Skald's Retreat today in the Rift and I heard a ghostly mother scolding her daughter.
"You're going out dressed like that? You look like a horker!"
@zos_GinaBruno "We are working on Werewolves, will have the changes posted this week"
I contend that Gina *is* a NPC, as she meets all the criteria, She obviously does not play the game, so she is a NON PLAYER, and her comments are hilarious so she is quite the CHARACTER..... -
AlexDougherty✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭I heard a bandit complaining to another bandit. "So I broke four lock picks trying to open a chest only to find out it was empty." My only thought was that suck I sure hope it doesn't happen to me.
I heard a variation on that, with a thief complaining to a friend that he broke four lockpicks opening a chest, only to find a single lockpick.
Not sure which is worse.People believe what they either want to be true or what they are afraid is true!
Wizard's first rule
Passion rules reason
Wizard's third rule
Mind what people Do, not what they say, for actions betray a lie.
Wizard's fifth rule
Willfully turning aside from the truth is treason to one's self
Wizard's tenth rule -
SoupDragon✭✭✭Found a drunk, dancing nord in the river today.
"Ten cheers for King Jorunn! Ten drinks for Jofarr!"
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In Davon Watch, an NPC is always saying... Don't know what tooo dooo. For some reason, I always comment back. lol
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Dovhakiin✭✭Double comment
A drunk Nord? Why am I not surprised?SoupDragon wrote: »Found a drunk, dancing nord in the river today.
"Ten cheers for King Jorunn! Ten drinks for Jofarr!"
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zaria✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭
An pretty obvious reference to Oblivion and to some degree Skyrim.AlexDougherty wrote: »I heard a bandit complaining to another bandit. "So I broke four lock picks trying to open a chest only to find out it was empty." My only thought was that suck I sure hope it doesn't happen to me.
I heard a variation on that, with a thief complaining to a friend that he broke four lockpicks opening a chest, only to find a single lockpick.
Not sure which is worse.
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SoupDragon✭✭✭Double comment
A drunk Nord? Why am I not surprised?SoupDragon wrote: »Found a drunk, dancing nord in the river today.
"Ten cheers for King Jorunn! Ten drinks for Jofarr!"
Haha, true! One of many reasons I love playing the EP storyline. -
helediron✭✭✭✭✭
✭Sergeant Herdor: I love a good sneak attack. The look in a man's eye when the knife goes in. Ooh! I just got chills.On hiatus. PC,EU,AD - crafting completionist - @helediron 900+ cp, @helestor 1000+ cp, @helestar 800+ cp, @helester 700+ cp - Dragonborn Z Suomikilta, Harrods, Master Crafter. - Blog - Crafthouse: all stations, all munduses, all dummies, open to everyone -
Garetth✭✭✭✭I have a few favorites:
NPC in Rivenspire says: "If you are going for wit I can say that you are half way there."
Guard at bank in Repaer's March says: "If you want to lose 10 pounds of ugly fat, I can cut your head off."
Another NPC in Reaper's March says: " Your face is so ugly it could curdle milk!"
