What's the best/funniest NPC line you've heard?

Blud

I was at Skald's Retreat today in the Rift and I heard a ghostly mother scolding her daughter.

"You're going out dressed like that? You look like a horker!"

kimboh

Sheogorath:
"Don't be presumptuous, mortal, or I'll banish you to the Isle of Lusty Bards."

Tabbycat

Dremora in Coldharbor:

"You look like a sturdy one. Shall I treat you to my whip or the riding crop?"

Apothecy

Gilvoth

"i erect the spine of praise"
"i erect the spine of trade"
argonian female in eso says those and i laugh every time, never gets old to hear it.

Cyberdown

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=291446707

for whatever reason the forums never take my steam pics

also it was really funny how it was said.

smeeprocketnub19_ESO

Cyberdown wrote: »

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=291446707

for whatever reason the forums never take my steam pics

also it was really funny how it was said.

must be nice to be able to play the game through steam

Cyberdown

cloud-4.steampowered.com/ugc/26213116336751153/A21F888C4F08912123951BADEA0D721BFAE5FF7D/

also this...

Cyberdown

smeeprocketnub19_ESO wrote: »

Cyberdown wrote: »

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=291446707

for whatever reason the forums never take my steam pics

also it was really funny how it was said.

must be nice to be able to play the game through steam

if it makes you feel any better, this forum will not accept any pictures displayed...which is annoying...stuff goes in "Attach image/file" but nothing gets displayed.

Tabbycat

Cyberdown wrote: »

smeeprocketnub19_ESO wrote: »

Cyberdown wrote: »

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=291446707

for whatever reason the forums never take my steam pics

also it was really funny how it was said.

must be nice to be able to play the game through steam

if it makes you feel any better, this forum will not accept any pictures displayed...which is annoying...stuff goes in "Attach image/file" but nothing gets displayed.

You could try using the snipping tool. Snip it, save it as a .jpg and then see if it displays.

Cyberdown

Tabbycat wrote: »

Cyberdown wrote: »

smeeprocketnub19_ESO wrote: »

Cyberdown wrote: »

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=291446707

for whatever reason the forums never take my steam pics

also it was really funny how it was said.

must be nice to be able to play the game through steam

if it makes you feel any better, this forum will not accept any pictures displayed...which is annoying...stuff goes in "Attach image/file" but nothing gets displayed.

You could try using the snipping tool. Snip it, save it as a .jpg and then see if it displays.

yeah or ill just toss a link in the text. if it worked id do it where it displayed but its not a big deal and not really worth the effort of junking up a folder with saved pics just for the odd forum post...

Reiterpallasch

Make no effort to show your pics, and most people won't make an effort to go looking for them. Just a thought.

Cyberdown

Reiterpallasch wrote: »

Make no effort to show your pics, and most people won't make an effort to go looking for them. Just a thought.

don't care, but weve derailed this thread enough.

smeeprocketnub19_ESO

Cyberdown wrote: »

Reiterpallasch wrote: »

Make no effort to show your pics, and most people won't make an effort to go looking for them. Just a thought.

don't care, but weve derailed this thread enough.

I viewed the pics, btw.

Brizz

"Praise the Egg"

Saucy_Jack

A Nord in Eastmarch doing his best Kindergarten Cop impression:

"It's not a rumour!"

dennissomb16_ESO

Killed a NPC who was bent over a chest and as I was attacking he yelled out "Hey, you broke my lock pick!"

Rylana

Have a char named after it.

"Believe what you like. "

Its just the delivery of the line.

Ridicularded

"Did you hear? A stranger saved King Cassamere's life!"

"Do you have any idea who it was? I'd like to buy that stranger an ale."

Over... and over............ and over again........

Nebthet78

These are the three I have come across that made me laugh the most.

Granette Feldrin
"Greedy, ignorant, ugly, son of a mammoth's ass! That Diel can go leap in a river!"

Trayna
"*** off. Find your own junk pile"

Naryu Virian
"What am I saying? Get your arse in there and save King Jorunn!"

Blud

Nebthet78 wrote: »

Trayna
"*** off. Find your own junk pile"

EDIT: Thanks for clarifying. Where is she? I want to hear that one


Also, there is an Argonian stand up comedian, I forgot his name.

The Dunmer where he was working didn't take to his material. He said, "They do not swim in the river of humor."

I've also heard and Argonian (maybe him) say, "My scales are moist with anticipation."

SirAndy

NPC in the tavern in Davon's Watch:

You throw it up, you lick it up!

Troponin

Not sure if I heard it correctly, but I could swear I heard an NPC say "...that's what she said!" hehe

Draxuul

1: i had just finished a quest line for the dagger fall covenant and i was watching a small scene where a King was trying to decide whether to execute his wife's murderer , who was an old friend of his, or not .

Not very far from there one of the guard says out of no where :" I'm going to live for ever , or at least die trying " . I really laughed at that one .

2: I sometimes come across a guard who says :" There are no rules here, but i'll tell you if you break one"

3: I can't remember which quest that was but there were several named NPC's to kill. I guess you could call them mini bosses . As always , when you approach such NPC's they'll have something to say before they start attacking you .

The thing is i was level 29 and the quest was lvl 24 . I started attacking those NPC's as soon as i entered their room and i remember two of them said really funny things while dying.

- the first one started saying :" You will see the power i have ........" . That's all he had the time to say before dropping dead hehe. I really laughed at this one .

- the second one was a women in full plate and as i entered the room she started talking a lot but all i can remember was her last words :" I do not know who sent you but he sent you here to die" .

Said the women as she was dropping lifeless to the ground. Heck of a choice of last words if you ask me lol . For some reason she didn't get interrupted like the other one when i killed her . She really had to finish that sentence lol .

Draxuul

odiasuda

"Come back again when you can't stay quite so long."

tengri

"I even had a salad".
Gloo of the Vinedusk Rangers, female Bosmer.

stabbykitteh

BoloBoffin

The Khajiit showing off the "real, live dog!"

NadiusMaximus

In one of the taverns, there's a group of ghost undaunted.
The leader, still after many years, thinks they are mighty and calls for the others to sing the undaunted song.

One of the ghosts is like, "Ohhhhhh, again, why. .. Somebody shove a sword through my face.. .

The other one says, Your already dead, it wouldn't do Thing.

the Fed up ghost replies, Damn it..

Then they start singing the most uninspired song ever.

SoupDragon

Gosh! There are so many! My roommate must think I'm mad, sitting here with my headphones, laughing out hysterically every now and then.

Loved all the dialog with Rigurt the Brash. He is amazing! And when I read his journal... ♥

Kikazaru

This is what Razum-Dar said after he was magically disguised as Queen Ayrenn.




Hehe.