The Most Epic Terrible Bad Pug Ever. With Pictures!

VagabondLife

So I've been playing around with my templar alt, and yesterday I decided she was ready to try healing some of the easier vet dungeons. First group finder run, Elden Hollow 1, went very smoothly. Second run I get Darkshade Caverns 1, and I open up the group list to see this:




Cool, I think, this should be easy. Famous last words...

I load into the dungeon, and the tank is already off fighting the first pack of trash, so I don't have a chance to inspect my groupmates, but right away I can tell something is very wrong. Nothing is dying. There's no AoE, at all. I throw down a Blockade and some Shards, and immediately everything is trying to eat my face off. Apparently there's no taunting, either.

The tank doesn't seem to notice, and just keeps grabbing more mobs. One of the DPS keeps going out of range and every time I move back to try to get him, he moves back too. Meantime the tank has run off to the next room, so I abandon the wayward DPS and race after the tank, passing someone's Clannfear on the way - wait, why is there a Clannfear? Then somehow the missing DPS is right in front of me, except it's not, it's someone's MERCHANT wandering through the fight, and why is everything still trying to eat me, and also where the hell is the other DPS???

So before the next trash pack, I take a moment to breathe, and look at the DPS, and I see this:




They are both ranged magicka, both have staves, and are both wearing full heavy armor - yet somehow only have 20k and 22k HP. With the tank wearing Ebon. Maybe, I think hopefully, they're both wearing costumes, and they have a proper set of robes on underneath? Of course, that doesn't explain the Clannfear, or the merchant. I sort-of-lightheartedly ask in group chat if we can put away the merchant and switch to a DPS pet. The templar responds with "Lol." The sorcerer says nothing, and the tank simply races on ahead. I sigh and follow. This is going to be a long haul.




Here's a picture of me, watching the next trash fight in amazement. Since the tank isn't actually taunting anything, everyone is just left to fight their own mobs, one-on-one. Well, except for Nuzhimeh, who mostly just stands around looking bored. I honestly can't blame her. Clannfear is somehow managing to kill his mob faster than the sorcerer is. And of course the templar, who is doing nothing but heavy attacks with a Resto staff, is killing his mob the fastest of all.

So eventually we get to the Patriarch. Well, I think, at least this one will be easy. It's one mob and he doesn't move, how bad could the group damage really be?




Answer: Bad. Really bad. Of course this probably has something to do with it:




Yup, there's BOTH of our damage dealers, heavy attacking like their lives depend on it. I have yet to see either of them use a single skill, and I begin to wonder if their bars could actually be completely empty. Is it possible to get to CP 561/600 without ever opening your Skills menu?

Finally, we get to the last boss. Despite their heavy armor, both of the DPS are squishy as hell, and have been getting regularly one-shot the entire run. I can't imagine where they've put their 600 CP, but it clearly wasn't into any sort of damage mitigation. It doesn't help that they've apparently never seen Healing Springs before and keep fleeing out of my green circle, straight into the boss's red one. And the templar absolutely refuses to stay at anything less than max range. Here's me trying (and failing) to keep heals on both the templar and the tank:




So of course on the first try, someone reads the scroll without asking, and we wipe almost immediately. We try again, normal mode this time, and wipe a few more times. Almost all of them end like this:




It's kinda hard to see behind the death recap there, but that's basically the sole surviving group member, the sorcerer, hiding behind his merchant while Clannfear tries valiantly to solo the boss. (He might have made it, too, if the sorcerer had ever bothered to throw him a heal. I don't think he knew he could.)

A few more tries in, I suddenly realize that it's just me and the tank on the boss - both DPS are nowhere to be seen. Eventually I spot the templar hiding in the bushes on the opposite end of the room, light attacking away at a random spider add, which isn't remotely close enough to the boss to heal him. Well, at least he's not taking any damage over there, because I'm starting to run out of soul gems for this guy. Pretty soon the sorcerer follows his lead, making a run for the bushes with Clannfear and Nuhzimeh trailing along behind. And that's when I realize that the tank doesn't actually have aggro, as the boss proceeds to follow Clannfear across the room, abandoning the tank completely.

And that is how it came to this:




This, folks, right here. Clannfear and Nuzhimeh killing the boss, while the tank sulks in a corner by himself, both DPS plink away at a harmless spider, and I pose for screenshots so I can prove I'm not making any of this up. THIS, right here, THIS is what group finder is all about!

And with that... I really need a drink.

GCVDJ11T

LOL.. the only thing that would make this better is if the Tank was sporting an ice staff....

Fishoscandi

That is a really bad group lol... I don't feel your pain actually. I have read countless threads complaining about rude and really bad pug groups via the dungeon finder, but I have NEVER had any experience with rude players or groups this bad(i'm sorry DPS and tank in the pics, but heavy attacking ain't gonna do the job). Also even stranger... I don't have friends that play this game. I do 99% of dungeons via the group finder and 1% via guild chat. And I always get nice team members and good ones too.

Banana

Classic. Youve got some patience I'll give you that.

souravami

How on earth these guys reached max cp?
Oh right, dolmen grinding most likely.

Izaki

LOL this was a fun read ! To bad it was a true story...

Magdalina

Mmm...well to be fair last boss does drop taunt. When he does that spinning attack he's immune to taunt so whoever gets agro should just run away and try not to die. I don't recall if the attack on your death recap is the spinning one though.

That aside, it is pretty hilarious, thank you for the read Did that brave Clannie make it eventually?

RoyalPink06

Points for sticking with it as long as you did. I'd have bailed looong before lol.

hmsdragonfly

Skyreach grinders detected lol.

That's why we shouldn't encourage new players to grind xp.

Betheny

OMG - that is hilarious!

My sympathies.

Emothic

You know, situations like these cold be easily avoided if you take the 1 - 3 minutes to educate these players on how to prooperly play a dungeon. Of which you did not and had to deal with this end result. I never truely understand these threads. They all complain about bad players, bad groups, in the dungeon finder. Yet they make no attempt to help educate the players. Instead of spending the time to write out a rant/complaint thread, you could of used that time to try and educate or pursade these players to use proper dungeon tactics.

Whenever I get in these situations I tell the playres what they need to do, or how to find a boss. But! I tell them in a polite and constructive manner. I don't insult them on how they play. If my advice is ignored then it is ignored. However, players will start to listen to you when your grouop starts wiping over and over again.

So I recommend this. Instead of wasting your time create a thread like this. Use that time to help those players understand the dungeon mechanics and make the whole experiance more smoother and faster during your run.

malicia

@OP - thanks for the laugh! When I saw the thread topic I was afraid of finding myself in the list; was relieved that this wasn't the case.

BTW - you've got it all wrong. The healers are supposed to do all the DPS, didn't you know!?

Enslaved

Or maybe they just trolled you and tank, trying to see how long would it take for you guys to leave group. There are ppl like that...

Cadbury

Props to you for sticking to the end. I mean...wow, just wow...
You have more patience than I would have in that situation. At least you can look back on this and laugh...or cry.


In B4 "Elitist" accusations

kylewwefan

Feel your pain. I had a DD bow light attacking Veledrith, and asked him to do more. So he switched to DW swords and started light attack with them. SMDH.

DoccEff

Awesome^^ I love those pug-horrorstories

(Just wait for the first ones to call you an evil elitist and defend the "play the way you want"...)

klowdy1

souravami wrote: »

How on earth these guys reached max cp?
Oh right, dolmen grinding most likely.

Time, and perseverance.

My favorite, which has been happening more lately, is getting into a group with a level 10 tank or heals, the other being sub 30, me at 160cp, and the other dps at 600+cp. Whichever role that is level 10 (tank or heals) can't do their job because they have no abilities yet, the other struggling, and the first wipe causes the second dps to immediately drop, causing me to leave as well after 15 minutes of waiting for another group member, which probably isn't joining for another 15+ minutes. It usually happens about half way through, too.

strikeback1247

Emothic wrote: »

You know, situations like these cold be easily avoided if you take the 1 - 3 minutes to educate these players on how to prooperly play a dungeon. Of which you did not and had to deal with this end result. I never truely understand these threads. They all complain about bad players, bad groups, in the dungeon finder. Yet they make no attempt to help educate the players. Instead of spending the time to write out a rant/complaint thread, you could of used that time to try and educate or pursade these players to use proper dungeon tactics.

Whenever I get in these situations I tell the playres what they need to do, or how to find a boss. But! I tell them in a polite and constructive manner. I don't insult them on how they play. If my advice is ignored then it is ignored. However, players will start to listen to you when your grouop starts wiping over and over again.

So I recommend this. Instead of wasting your time create a thread like this. Use that time to help those players understand the dungeon mechanics and make the whole experiance more smoother and faster during your run.

Fair point, but I mean OP would have to help them rebuild their entire setup with gear and skills AND teach them how to do proper dps. As a wise woman once said: Ain't nobody got time fo' that!

Dantaria

Emothic wrote: »

You know, situations like these cold be easily avoided if you take the 1 - 3 minutes to educate these players on how to prooperly play a dungeon. Of which you did not and had to deal with this end result. I never truely understand these threads. They all complain about bad players, bad groups, in the dungeon finder. Yet they make no attempt to help educate the players. Instead of spending the time to write out a rant/complaint thread, you could of used that time to try and educate or pursade these players to use proper dungeon tactics.

Whenever I get in these situations I tell the playres what they need to do, or how to find a boss. But! I tell them in a polite and constructive manner. I don't insult them on how they play. If my advice is ignored then it is ignored. However, players will start to listen to you when your grouop starts wiping over and over again.

So I recommend this. Instead of wasting your time create a thread like this. Use that time to help those players understand the dungeon mechanics and make the whole experiance more smoother and faster during your run.

Like... Like...

Listen, I'm all for explaining and helping. But this? This is just beyond good and evil.

In this case OP didn't need to explain dungeon mechanics. OP needed to explain how to play the game. From scratch. 2+ hours of typing in chat? Hell, no.

And even if... Even if OP took his time and proposed adequate magsorc rotation... They wouldn't understand. And if they would be willing to follow - they still wouldn't be able to perform.

You can quickly explain the basics of quantum mechanics to the guy who knows math and physics and just for some reason didn't make it to quants. You can't explain the basics of quantum mechanics to the guy who doesn't know what "probability" means.

OP, my sympathies. This is what grinding leads to *hugs*

VagabondLife

Enslaved wrote: »

Or maybe they just trolled you and tank, trying to see how long would it take for you guys to leave group. There are ppl like that...

If that's the case, I'm betting they were sorry. Once we got the boss down past 50% I basically refused to let anyone stay dead. We were gonna kill this thing, and that was that.

Here's the conversation after we were done:

Tank: Was that on hard mode?
Me: Not for you guys. I think for me it was.
Tank: *leaves group without answering*
Sorcerer: *leaves group without answering*
Templar: *does a /playlute and asks me if I want to dance*
Me: *logs off and pours myself a double shot*

Luigi_Vampa

kylewwefan wrote: »

Feel your pain. I had a DD bow light attacking Veledrith, and asked him to do more. So he switched to DW swords and started light attack with them. SMDH.

But two swords, that's like double the light attack DPS!

xSkullfox

RIP

Enslaved

VagabondLife wrote: »

Enslaved wrote: »

Or maybe they just trolled you and tank, trying to see how long would it take for you guys to leave group. There are ppl like that...

If that's the case, I'm betting they were sorry. Once we got the boss down past 50% I basically refused to let anyone stay dead. We were gonna kill this thing, and that was that.

Here's the conversation after we were done:

Tank: Was that on hard mode?
Me: Not for you guys. I think for me it was.
Tank: *leaves group without answering*
Sorcerer: *leaves group without answering*
Templar: *does a /playlute and asks me if I want to dance*
Me: *logs off and pours myself a double shot*

You see? That templar and his lute. Obvious troll. Despicable creatures...

casparian

Emothic wrote: »

You know, situations like these cold be easily avoided if you take the 1 - 3 minutes to educate these players on how to prooperly play a dungeon. Of which you did not and had to deal with this end result. I never truely understand these threads. They all complain about bad players, bad groups, in the dungeon finder. Yet they make no attempt to help educate the players. Instead of spending the time to write out a rant/complaint thread, you could of used that time to try and educate or pursade these players to use proper dungeon tactics.

Whenever I get in these situations I tell the playres what they need to do, or how to find a boss. But! I tell them in a polite and constructive manner. I don't insult them on how they play. If my advice is ignored then it is ignored. However, players will start to listen to you when your grouop starts wiping over and over again.

So I recommend this. Instead of wasting your time create a thread like this. Use that time to help those players understand the dungeon mechanics and make the whole experiance more smoother and faster during your run.

I spend a lot of time tanking PUGs through random daily dungeons, and what you suggest fails to work about as often as it works. I have had the pleasure of meeting some really excellent people who were eager to learn and happy to be grouped with someone who knew the ropes. But in my experience, it's at least as common to run into the heavy attack/wrecking blow spammers (or light attack/snipe spammers) who simply will not respond in chat no matter what you say and refuse to change their playstyle. Given this, your comment comes across as fairly condescending. I love teaching people dungeon mechanics; the problem is that, as in the OP's experience, many players refuse to be taught.

Slurg

I was rooting for the clannfear and the merchant through the story - don't leave me hanging, did they win? I want to know if it's feasible to solo this dungeon with them.

Magdalina

Emothic wrote: »

You know, situations like these cold be easily avoided if you take the 1 - 3 minutes to educate these players on how to prooperly play a dungeon. Of which you did not and had to deal with this end result. I never truely understand these threads. They all complain about bad players, bad groups, in the dungeon finder. Yet they make no attempt to help educate the players. Instead of spending the time to write out a rant/complaint thread, you could of used that time to try and educate or pursade these players to use proper dungeon tactics.

Whenever I get in these situations I tell the playres what they need to do, or how to find a boss. But! I tell them in a polite and constructive manner. I don't insult them on how they play. If my advice is ignored then it is ignored. However, players will start to listen to you when your grouop starts wiping over and over again.

So I recommend this. Instead of wasting your time create a thread like this. Use that time to help those players understand the dungeon mechanics and make the whole experiance more smoother and faster during your run.

I tell them too. Why do you assume op didn't try to? Let me tell you how it went last few times for me.

"Tank, could you please not move the boss out of my dots? Thank you:) - How about I do what I need to do to tank and you do what you need to dps instead - But I'm a magsorc, 2 of my dots are ground based...it'll simply go a lot faster for all of us if you don't move him, and there's no need to move this one^^ - Listen it's not a trial run, no one gives a damn about your dps " (Kwama pounding boss in DC 2)

"Tank, please slot some dps for portals. - sorry bye *drops group*" (WGT Planar boss, after we wipe due to 550 cp tank going after portals with s&b light attacks)

"Why didn't you follow the group? - How about you mind your own business" (to a brave dps who heroically died fighting a lone skeever literally 30 m away from his group fighting boss, just outside of range of heals and taunts, refusing to come closer for some reason)

"Guys, we need to close the pinion - okay *no one closes the pinion, wipe* - Guys, we really need to close the pinion. Keep an eye on it, it physically opens up and gets on fire, try to close it like the second it happens, especially in blue phase - *no one closes pinion, wipe* - Guys, we won't make it if we don't close it:( let's try again, remember - close the pinion when it opens - *pull, no one closes pinion, wipe*" (WGT Planar, 3/4 pugs. I'm not kidding nor exaggerating, I wish I was)

"Okay guys, I don't think we can do hm, let's just do normal. - *cp 88 dps reads the scroll, we try and wipe within half a minute, cp 88 dying in first 5 seconds of the fight* -...okay, let's just do normal. Also try to roll through that wall of lightning so it hurts less - *cp 88 reads the scroll, then promptly runs into the lightning wall to stand there and die, then other dps dies too, atro spawns, wipe* - Normal it is - Okay(says the other dps as cp 88 reads the scroll)" (Kena in WGT, we ended up kicking the guy)

Why do you assume people complaining about pugs don't try to explain things? Most do, and that's exactly why we complain, because we take time and effort to be nice and explain things and no one gives a damn.

LordGavus

Wow, I think these guys must be power levelers.
Doesn't seem like they learnt to actually play the game.

Luigi_Vampa

When the Clannfear is the most competent DD in the group, lmao! Go, Clannfear, Go!!!

Cadbury

Enslaved wrote: »

VagabondLife wrote: »

Enslaved wrote: »

Or maybe they just trolled you and tank, trying to see how long would it take for you guys to leave group. There are ppl like that...

If that's the case, I'm betting they were sorry. Once we got the boss down past 50% I basically refused to let anyone stay dead. We were gonna kill this thing, and that was that.

Here's the conversation after we were done:

Tank: Was that on hard mode?
Me: Not for you guys. I think for me it was.
Tank: *leaves group without answering*
Sorcerer: *leaves group without answering*
Templar: *does a /playlute and asks me if I want to dance*
Me: *logs off and pours myself a double shot*

You see? That templar and his lute. Obvious troll. Despicable creatures...

Hey. Not all lute-playing Templars are trolls

#NotAllTemplars

jakeedmundson

GCVDJ11T wrote: »

LOL.. the only thing that would make this better is if the Tank was sporting an ice staff....

ha hey now... i actually started using an ice staff on back bar to do extra dps on my magicka tank. (slot blockade and impulse) It really is comparable to the sword/shield in dungeons as far as surviving and taunting goes. Hopefully the warden will make better use of it though.
Obviously i wouldn't try a trial with it... but it definitely works well. (especially in groups like this when the dps is awful)

But yes OP.... this is what 75% of group finder pugs are like. You almost have to assume that the people with you got their CP by only doing pvp or grinding places like skyreach. CP does not mean experience. Add that crap in with the group finder issue lately and it's an awesome waste of 2 hours.

DoccEff

Emothic wrote: »

You know, situations like these cold be easily avoided if you take the 1 - 3 minutes to educate these players on how to prooperly play a dungeon.

Lol, wish it was that easy. From my experience, too many (bad) players ignore any well-meant comments and let themselves just get carried through the dungeon.
Once had a 600cp with praetorian-rank in my group who just spammed steeltornado and reflective scales. That guy must have probably bought the account. Didn't say or react to anything in chat, although I told him many times which skills he might wanna use to get better.