Favorite NPC one-liners?

cyclonus11

"This is my favorite form!" - Barbas

*immediately begins to lick own crotch*

red_emu

"Mightyyyy Waria!!"

Wolfkeks

When the healer in Cyro screams 'HEALER!' and heals himself

NewbieOKS

"Over there! It's Mereel!"
"Boss, I don't think he's listening...."
"Why is nothing ever easy?"

Spindleclutch dungeon

DUTCH_REAPER

Female guard in wayrest speaking in a dirty way: “That’s what HE said!”

Elrinthil

.

JumpmanLane

Lol. I skip all the dialogue.

newtinmpls

Another one I really like, but first a warning:

Spoilers for Summerset

This is my new favorite line from Raz:
"Kinlady Avinisse and Raz … do not get along. You see, there was a horse, a platter of pudding tarts, and – no this one won’t bore you with the sordid details."

tinythinker

**Super-small spoiler**

The PTS DLC (Murkmire) has a <remain silent> battle of wills with an NPC, which qualifies on its own.

It leads to the reply:

"All right! You win. You're the darkest dark sister/brother to ever have darked."








edit: left out "battle of wills" in original text

tinythinker

The Augur of the Obscure also gets a lot of good lines (from the Summerset chapter). A few of the highlights:

"Oh, you're going to love this one. I'm seeing a tiny island, surrounded by ... it's either water or cats. Difficult to say. Let's hope it's the cats, eh?"

"More ruins. Hmm. You know, every stone tells a story. I mean that literally, by the way. That wall over there won't shut up about how much it hates rain. Let's find this breach and get out of here, eh?"

"Ah, look! Yokudan ruins. You know the Yokudans could make magic idea-swords using nothing but their brains? Bit of a waste, that. I'd have made a very comfortable chair."

Reistr_the_Unbroken

The carrige driver where you have to find Hildegard in the Dark Brotherhood quest:

"Right. Her family. The way that young woman was crying, you'd think Molag Bal himself was after her. Or someone like you."

tinythinker

"Stibbons! Go with our friend and align your bodily fluids!" - Lady Laurent in the swamps of Murkmire

"Carefully, like milking a small elongated goat" - Stibbons getting venom from a den of vipers

I missed Stibbons

RebornV3x

"By Akatosh's scales your help is welcome" can't tell if the voice acting is good or really bad.

tinythinker

RebornV3x wrote: »

can't tell if the voice acting is good or really bad.

Yes

tinythinker

"You know, I've never punched a High Elf before. Felt like punching a pillowcase full of pudding." - Roguzog, after a duel in Summerset

TheValar85

The Divines gave you a nose for a reason, Tharn. So you can keep your mouth shut and still keep breathing.

Lyris Titanborn :P

tinythinker

TheValar85 wrote: »

The Divines gave you a nose for a reason, Tharn. So you can keep your mouth shut and still keep breathing.

Lyris Titanborn :P

Yeah they had lots of great dialogue, and Tharn's is still great in the Elsweyr prologue quest. Hoping for more gems from him in the new chapter

tinythinker

"What a great view! If one of those ships hits the rocks, I'll be able to see everything
- Durzog Jonnicent, overlooking the harbor of Daggerfall

Missed this all the times I was previously in that city. Voice acted with the appropriate enthusiasm

tinythinker

"When did we get so old? It's time now, isn't it? Enough tears, love. We're liable to rust." - Bolin, in the Clockwork City

This also needs to go under the "Saddest Moments" thread :

tinythinker

"You're the one whose gathering up my satchel's, right?"

"Anyway, my tonics ward off most of it. Pity I can't as easily cure this stutter." - Aveberl Tremouille

A competent character who happens to have a speech impediment, but it doesn't define her. It's one of those I like for the delivery moreso than the lines.

tinythinker

"You stole a book from a place called 'The Library of Shieking Terror?' " the Vestige, at the Illumination Academy

It's nice when our characters get a really good line, especially if you can imagine the voice of your character saying it. A lot of the player character's dialogue is there to move the plot along, so these are fun to find (or rediscover)

tinythinker

"You walk in here on three skeevers arguing over a dead body, and decide you want to chat with one of them? You either got some kind of guts or you're some kind of stupid." - Igeke Rat-Bite, Summerset

Well, this is true of a lot of things the Vestige walks into. Always fun when the writers poke lightly at the fourth wall

And then there are cases of dead-pan...



"I'm known as Igeke Rat-Bite."

"Why are you called Igeke Rat-Bite?"

"You saw my face, right? I got bit by a rat."

"A rat did that?"

"It was a big rat."

Ashryn

Some of the things that guards say when you run from them:

'I knew I should have brought my sword to work"

'Didn't you see I had my stern face on?'

dazee

Sasky wrote: »

Next time you see a forum troll: "Some enjoy bringing grief to others. They remind M'aiq of mudcrabs--horrible creatures with no redeeming qualitites."

Just about anything M'aiq says is good.

Also when someone ganks you in cyrodil right outside IC sewer entrance or on your way to do something entirely unrelated to fighting other players.

Nilarynpaw

"We unraveled the threads of this plot with skill and daring. Like unrolling a spool of yarn. Yarn...
Sorry. This one gets easily distracted sometimes. What were you talking about?"

(Adusa-daro, Rivenspire)

tinythinker

"You did really botch this up" - the Vestige

"Hey, we can't all be sleek and daring Khajiit of mystery" - Elise Mallon, Summsert at Sil-Var-Woad

wishlist14

Abnur Tharn says to Lyris ; " Are you insane? Get away from me you insufferable she-troll!"

Everytime I did a harborage and I did many, I always got a giggle from this.😂😂😂

Eiagra

Not sure if mentioned, but the one jester's insult is perfect. "You man-sized ham!" I am waiting for an opportunity to use it offline.

r34lian

The xivkyn in IC "No khajits cat flesh too gamey "

necr0o

Hey, fancy man, fallen on any swords lately?