Was a male, now a female and the difference is scary

Suter1972 · August 2016

Lysette wrote: »

milkbox wrote: »

I have to chime in with a contrary experience-

I've played all females (as a female) for over 2 years, and only very, very rarely got even a hint of flirt from other players. No random strangers asked to group with me, or trade with me- maybe two "you're cute" whispers, in all that time.

Recently, I decided to make a male character. Since I see so many over-the-top and unrealistic females, I decided to make a ridiculous man. He's a super tall Altmer with big, ripply muscles and is just a little older, with gray beard and Adam-Ant eye stripe. I dressed him in a Primal jerkin so everyone could see his buff majesty... He looks a little like he may be going to a leather bar.

I was so surprised when suddenly I found myself constantly invited to group with people on random quests. People started chatting me up if I was waiting for a world boss or just standing somewhere around town. I got friend requests out of nowhere, pretty frequently.

I notice that not a lot of male avatars are hyper-sexualized. My guy really stands out in a crowd. So it may not just be that players automatically prey on women but not men- it may be that male characters aren't putting themselves out there to be properly objectified. ;p

I made the same experience with my male characters, which have an effect like a magnet in certain outfits - certainly I made them older with an "I know about life" look, while still having an athletic figure and an overall appearance, which appeals on an instinctive level to me. Does not make me wonder, that other females react to the same things - and will be disappointed, when they'll get aware of my female account name. Two of my 3 males are beast races, but they are not different in these regards.

Yes to balance the OP I did, when I first made my character before I had the gender change lol I made him an old guy, athletic, but big grey beard and long grey hair and a few life scars. No armour showing (plain looking pirate costume) and dyed to look boring and drab. Did get a free trade once with a load of lvl 50 gear I couldnt use. The player whispers /for the bards….. and ran off.

Now as the hot looking younger female, its every time I log in but trades are nearly always naff recipes lol which I just cancel and the group invites are from high level Vet level players. No idea why they would want a lvl 19 templar in the group……

(if im gonna pimp myself it will be for decent gear, im no cheap thrill haha and theres a whole RP back story which im sticking to)

BlackguardBob · August 2016

I have eight female characters and never have this problem. The name "BOB" as part of my GT on XB1 above their heads probably prevents that.

Also, the girls' names are generic to their race so it's not like I have "Susans" or "Marys" or "Janes" and so forth in my collection.

lardvader · August 2016

Where do you meet these people? I've never experienced something like this on my female characters. Thought this was something that died in MMO's several years ago...

And whenever I see some "sexy" avatar with barely a thread I just assume it's a guy on the other end. All my females are fighters and dress accordingly

Lysette · August 2016

lardvader wrote: »

Where do you meet these people? I've never experienced something like this on my female characters. Thought this was something that died in MMO's several years ago...

And whenever I see some "sexy" avatar with barely a thread I just assume it's a guy on the other end. All my females are fighters and dress accordingly

That is one way to look at costumes - I see them more as a kind of illusion magic, you do not actually wear them at all, you have still your armor and all the effects of it - just the power of the illusion magic woven into the costume makes you appear as if you would wear this type of armor/clothing - but when you roll dodge or jump off a cliff, the illusion is broken for a moment, you hear the noise of your actual armor - this is how I look at costumes.

Or think of the "red lady" in Game of Thrones - she is a very old and miserable person, which looks horrible when the illusion wears off - but when her illusion magic is active, she has this stunning body with an incredibly gorgeous figure and perfect breasts - it is an illusion.

Or think about real life - when we dress up, glide into our evening dresses, glue the dress to our figure, so that nothing will just fall out of the decollete, use make up, enhance our eyes, rouge our cheeks and wear lipstick - this is as well kind of an illusion magic, creating a person, we are not to the most part - this is like using some form of illusion magic, just that this illusion can be bought as regular beauty products.

Suter1972 · August 2016

Lysette wrote: »

lardvader wrote: »

Where do you meet these people? I've never experienced something like this on my female characters. Thought this was something that died in MMO's several years ago...

And whenever I see some "sexy" avatar with barely a thread I just assume it's a guy on the other end. All my females are fighters and dress accordingly

That is one way to look at costumes - I see them more as a kind of illusion magic, you do not actually wear them at all, you have still your armor and all the effects of it - just the power of the illusion magic woven into the costume makes you appear as if you would wear this type of armor/clothing - but when you roll dodge or jump off a cliff, the illusion is broken for a moment, you hear the noise of your actual armor - this is how I look at costumes.

Or think of the "red lady" in Game of Thrones - she is a very old and miserable person, which looks horrible when the illusion wears off - but when her illusion magic is active, she has this stunning body with an incredibly gorgeous figure and perfect breasts - it is an illusion.

Or think about real life - when we dress up, glide into our evening dresses, glue the dress to our figure, so that nothing will just fall out of the decollete, use make up, enhance our eyes, rouge our cheeks and wear lipstick - this is as well kind of an illusion magic, creating a person, we are not to the most part - this is like using some form of illusion magic, just that this illusion can be bought as regular beauty products.

cant say Ive ever glided into an evening dress. More like fighting with a reluctant trouser button retaining the equivalent of the hoover dam in fatman foldover....... but I get your point lol

altemriel · August 2016

Suter1972 wrote: »

Im a male player so the following may be a bit weird for some?

I started last week with a male Templar, an old guy with a grey beard. In my head he was a retired farmer, family all grown up so sold the farm and headed off on his own adventure. I wanted him to look like a farmer as opposed the many neon glowing spiky armours that I see (literally) running around so the clothing/armour available doesn’t really look suitable. Settled on a pirate outfit.

So I had the bright idea of dumping his appearance and going full on gender swap to a young woman. Clearly I made her as attractive as possible to look at but what I wasn’t prepared for is the amount of other pervs (in addition to me) that are in the game. The same character, now a young woman in a belly dancer outfit is getting numerous ‘trade’ offers, both in game and PSN. I can stand in a town and player literally walk up stand in front and stare. The sexy walk they have the females do, doesn’t help matters. Its kinda amusing knowing that im a bloke behind the toon but I feel sorry for all the female players that maybe get this all this time. (unless of course they play as male characters!)

Any other female characters (male or female RL players) get this ‘problem’

I am not any kind of pervert

, but I do this too, that I like to look at nice female characters of other players (even close up) - I am a male in real life, so I love pretty women, even virtual ones

Wow · August 2016

I'm a pervert who like to spend a good minute to stare at sexy female characters I come across. When I'm done, I open up trade window and gave them ornate stuffs if I happen to carry one.

Marrtha · August 2016

Wow wrote: »

I'm a pervert who like to spend a good minute to stare at sexy female characters I come across. When I'm done, I open up trade window and gave them ornate stuffs if I happen to carry one.

Oh my......

code65536 · August 2016

Could this be level related? E.g., a lowbie questing vs. a capped max-level character with fancy gear and title. I would imagine a naïve newbie makes for a more tempting target for flirtation than a jaded and seasoned vet.

Mettaricana · August 2016

Not once have I been hit on with my female busty bosmer no matter how skimpy! Now Xbox I've heard horror tales of stalkers harassers and prick pics galore for having so much as a unisex gamertag much less being a girl

DarqueArtifex · August 2016

Not sure if this is even relevant, I am a female outside and inside of the game. I am on the NA PS4 side of things and I have had the occasional "Though she is a female in character, let's call her a male because God only knows that females can't play this.. .. " sort of reactions. Meaning -- if I am not announcing that I am female (by speaking into the mic or even writing out that I am in fact a female that is playing) automatically they refer to me as a male. I don't talk on the mic much because frankly, once I do a lot of them don't take me serious when it comes to playing the game.

Then, on the other side of things I have also had guys assume I am female because of my character ( which to me doesn't really bother me either way. xD) and then start to flirt or ask if I am single. I had one guy in particular kept trying to chat with me in the group chat as we were running a four person dungeon (I was the only female character there.) and I turned off the group chat so I didn't have to hear him. ( Again, I don't really like to chat that much. xD) and every time we stopped fighting or someone was digging around in their inventory, he would stop just in front of my character and continued to blow kisses towards her. xD

So, my point is that it really just depends on whom the person is and if they are perverted or simply dumbfounded that a female is playing the game. Or, on the other hand they don't care either way? Lol

Bryanonymous · August 2016

Wow wrote: »

I'm a pervert who like to spend a good minute to stare at sexy female characters I come across. When I'm done, I open up trade window and gave them ornate stuffs if I happen to carry one.

Awesome! You have much to teach us, wise Sensei.

waterfairy · August 2016

code65536 wrote: »

Could this be level related? E.g., a lowbie questing vs. a capped max-level character with fancy gear and title. I would imagine a naïve newbie makes for a more tempting target for flirtation than a jaded and seasoned vet.

Nope, my Redguard got attention after doing a dolmen and she's CP 340 with gear that isn't sexy. The guy was using the flirt and 1 knee kneel emotes simultaneously...it took him doing this 3 times before I realized it was directed at me as I was thinking wtf is he doing

I don't have a new pic of her but here's 1 to show that she's not a model type and yet still gets the attention mentioned in this thread-

elantaura · August 2016

As for levels and being a female...
All my friends i chat with are male, and they treat me no different. . Btw most of them have more girls than boys as a whole. How do people react to levels and gender? well... I jumped in gf chat yesterday and scared everyone being a girl DPS on my cp capped Stormproof sorc.( she is still grinding undaunted so I do silver in gf. its sometimes fun) That quieted them a bit. Ironically they were asking the other boys about the best sets . My input does not count as much. Yet with the boys who know me we talk rotations, sets buffs etc along with normal stuff.thats very wierd to avoid asking me imo i had 150 more cp than the next lowest lol. But i am used to it.

Now interestingly enough.... If I jump in gf when leveling, so they can't see my cp people either are either very derogatory nasty or super sweet. They are more often nice fortunatley. There was one heavy breather and one guy who was so bad i blocked him in less than 1 min.alternatively Jump in chat on a female Stormproof sorc with max cp and people get all weirded out or Go quiet, Add a mageslayer kajhit and people start to really run. And not know what to do People tend to be a little more shocked that it is a female playing a female, i find the kajhit is more acceptable that a female plays it as a whole,

Ironically If I talk on a pretty mule alt wearing a dress as i neaded a taxi to a wayshine or my bwb character it's a very different reception. People will be so nice on area chat, most are ok.if i do any undaunted through again, I do run into issues about how could i know the mechanics all too often. So much so If I am in chat one of my friends waits for me to explain it too them. Be ignored and then him reexplain before he says this is why we don't let you talk in the chat . As he listens chuckling as it happen lots.

Once one tamriel hits I am thinking I might hang out with some newbies on an alt as I like to quest upto get skills and chat i will pretend I know nothing. To see if its any different.as i have been confined to dc there should be some people who wont know me. And she will be pretty to see.

Today due to this thread I gave 10000 gold to some males characters so the boys got some attention for once, low and high level.i found a flawless conquerer and a lowbie whose name id not seen before to see what would happen, They both responded by stripping ?

Arora · August 2016

I have always played a female in this game. I have never had an issue

Suter1972 · August 2016

elantaura wrote: »

As for levels and being a female...
All my friends i chat with are male, and they treat me no different. . Btw most of them have more girls than boys as a whole. How do people react to levels and gender? well... I jumped in gf chat yesterday and scared everyone being a girl DPS on my cp capped Stormproof sorc.( she is still grinding undaunted so I do silver in gf. its sometimes fun) That quieted them a bit. Ironically they were asking the other boys about the best sets . My input does not count as much. Yet with the boys who know me we talk rotations, sets buffs etc along with normal stuff.thats very wierd to avoid asking me imo i had 150 more cp than the next lowest lol. But i am used to it.

Now interestingly enough.... If I jump in gf when leveling, so they can't see my cp people either are either very derogatory nasty or super sweet. They are more often nice fortunatley. There was one heavy breather and one guy who was so bad i blocked him in less than 1 min.alternatively Jump in chat on a female Stormproof sorc with max cp and people get all weirded out or Go quiet, Add a mageslayer kajhit and people start to really run. And not know what to do People tend to be a little more shocked that it is a female playing a female, i find the kajhit is more acceptable that a female plays it as a whole,

Ironically If I talk on a pretty mule alt wearing a dress as i neaded a taxi to a wayshine or my bwb character it's a very different reception. People will be so nice on area chat, most are ok.if i do any undaunted through again, I do run into issues about how could i know the mechanics all too often. So much so If I am in chat one of my friends waits for me to explain it too them. Be ignored and then him reexplain before he says this is why we don't let you talk in the chat . As he listens chuckling as it happen lots.

Once one tamriel hits I am thinking I might hang out with some newbies on an alt as I like to quest upto get skills and chat i will pretend I know nothing. To see if its any different.as i have been confined to dc there should be some people who wont know me. And she will be pretty to see.

Today due to this thread I gave 10000 gold to some males characters so the boys got some attention for once, low and high level.i found a flawless conquerer and a lowbie whose name id not seen before to see what would happen, They both responded by stripping ?

im happy to get advice from any one willing to give it. In this day and age I cant believe gamers think girls don't play? My 6yr old daughter has started pushing my 11yr old boy off the PS4 so she can build a zebra coloured house in minecraft haha

desciviib14_ESO · August 2016

I primarily play female chars (I'm a male) and I get bothered all the time by other players trying to "harass" me; following me, bobbing up and down (crouch and stand) if I'm standing still, edging up behind me, whispering to me. On a Fri and Sat night it gets to the point that I often become vulgar with people when I'm standing in Riften or somewhere like that trying to have a conversation and people keep trying to nuisance my char. Sometimes I'm able to ignore them but sometimes I'm just not in the mood to ignore someone who's trying to be bothersome. I have a female friend who will frequently diffuse by telling them knock it off and they seem to listen to her.

I only have 1 male char named Carnal Beast and he garners a LOT of female attention but he doesn't get the harassment problem, instead female players respond much more respectfully in my experience though I don't technically know what gender is behind a name. He's a physically maxed out Orc who doesn't wear chest armor.

waterfairy · August 2016

elantaura wrote: »

As for levels and being a female...
All my friends i chat with are male, and they treat me no different. . Btw most of them have more girls than boys as a whole. How do people react to levels and gender? well... I jumped in gf chat yesterday and scared everyone being a girl DPS on my cp capped Stormproof sorc.( she is still grinding undaunted so I do silver in gf. its sometimes fun) That quieted them a bit. Ironically they were asking the other boys about the best sets . My input does not count as much. Yet with the boys who know me we talk rotations, sets buffs etc along with normal stuff.thats very wierd to avoid asking me imo i had 150 more cp than the next lowest lol. But i am used to it.

@elantaura
I don't think it's about your input not counting but rather you intimidate or emasculate them by being a female gamer that's better. Personally I would ask your input regardless of your gender because of the Stormproof title

desciviib14_ESO · August 2016

Vigarr wrote: »

elantaura wrote: »

As for levels and being a female...
All my friends i chat with are male, and they treat me no different. . Btw most of them have more girls than boys as a whole. How do people react to levels and gender? well... I jumped in gf chat yesterday and scared everyone being a girl DPS on my cp capped Stormproof sorc.( she is still grinding undaunted so I do silver in gf. its sometimes fun) That quieted them a bit. Ironically they were asking the other boys about the best sets . My input does not count as much. Yet with the boys who know me we talk rotations, sets buffs etc along with normal stuff.thats very wierd to avoid asking me imo i had 150 more cp than the next lowest lol. But i am used to it.

@elantaura
I don't think it's about your input not counting but rather you intimidate or emasculate them by being a female gamer that's better. Personally I would ask your input regardless of your gender because of the Stormproof title

I agree; I have quite a few female friends and the ones with powerful chars and gear getting treated way different, it seems to intimidate many male gamers whereas the females with moderate and low level chars get flirted with and harassed more often and my assumption is that a powerful char = no nonsense and that's intimidating I guess.

Dojohoda · August 2016

3 of my female toons have received some admiration, and that's okay.

bebynnag · August 2016

Mettaricana wrote: »

Not once have I been hit on with my female busty bosmer no matter how skimpy! Now Xbox I've heard horror tales of stalkers harassers and prick pics galore for having so much as a unisex gamertag much less being a girl

i have never had this....

is it cause i is ginger?

Aurielle · August 2016

BAHAHA, I spoke too soon earlier in this thread... Was playing ESO on my boyfriend's XB1, where I have a couple of lowbie characters that I haven't bothered to do much with yet. Was waiting for a dolmen to spawn, when this dual-wielding guy came up to me. He stood directly in front of my character, waved, and then started blocking... over and over again. It made it look as though his character was touching my character's chest. I was too stunned to react for a second, then burst out laughing. It was equal measures pathetic and hilarious.

Looking back on it now, I should have invited him into a group, opened up voice chat, and gotten my BF to say "hey handsome," all sultry-like.

PurifedBladez · August 2016

Mojmir wrote: »

I play females because my daughter like to create them and dress them how she likes,than I make her cry by killing horkers and pocket mammoths.

Hahahahahaha

Cazzy · August 2016

Suter1972 wrote: »

Im a male player so the following may be a bit weird for some?

I started last week with a male Templar, an old guy with a grey beard. In my head he was a retired farmer, family all grown up so sold the farm and headed off on his own adventure. I wanted him to look like a farmer as opposed the many neon glowing spiky armours that I see (literally) running around so the clothing/armour available doesn’t really look suitable. Settled on a pirate outfit.

So I had the bright idea of dumping his appearance and going full on gender swap to a young woman. Clearly I made her as attractive as possible to look at but what I wasn’t prepared for is the amount of other pervs (in addition to me) that are in the game. The same character, now a young woman in a belly dancer outfit is getting numerous ‘trade’ offers, both in game and PSN. I can stand in a town and player literally walk up stand in front and stare. The sexy walk they have the females do, doesn’t help matters. Its kinda amusing knowing that im a bloke behind the toon but I feel sorry for all the female players that maybe get this all this time. (unless of course they play as male characters!)

Any other female characters (male or female RL players) get this ‘problem’

Oh yes. I get very inappropriate messages and can't use voice chat because suddenly naked nords appear. It's just hormones, I think xD

Oreyn_Bearclaw · August 2016

I get hit on almost once a day on my female toons. I always want to respond, "you know that in RL, I am a fat guy with a huge beard, right?"

Edit: "Mrs Bear" used to be name "Naughty Little Elf". Guessing that was part of the problem. Admittedly, since I changed the name, it has decreased.

Moonscythe · August 2016

I'm female and I have been harassed in towns occasionally by obnoxious male characters (I assume the player is also but who knows). I avoid the rest by just turning off all chat all the time.

Florial · August 2016

I've had a few folks ask me if I'm a girl in real life or have invited me to groups but never have been harassed. I tend to not take notice and if emotes are being made towards me, probably not seeing them since my eye is usually on my quests, inventory or other distractions.

With that said though, it has happened in other games but very infrequently to me. WoW was probably the biggest culprit in that regard. My hubby always plays females and one of our real life buddies (a lovely retired lady in her 70s) bought him some very sexy clothes for his female character (in WoW). She was appalled at his apparel choices and how unstylish his little magic user was looking. My friend always dresses her little elves in booty shorts and loves running around in very color coordinated, revealing outfits. After his make-over by my friend, the comments he would receive were numerous. It was pretty amusing and he would grumble to me on occasion lol. He was very striking in his red and gold outfit with booty shorts! He didn't want to offend our friend who was so proud of his make over so gradually used the character as an auction house mule. I thought it was all pretty amusing.

waterfairy · August 2016

Aurielle wrote: »

BAHAHA, I spoke too soon earlier in this thread... Was playing ESO on my boyfriend's XB1, where I have a couple of lowbie characters that I haven't bothered to do much with yet. Was waiting for a dolmen to spawn, when this dual-wielding guy came up to me. He stood directly in front of my character, waved, and then started blocking... over and over again. It made it look as though his character was touching my character's chest. I was too stunned to react for a second, then burst out laughing. It was equal measures pathetic and hilarious.

Looking back on it now, I should have invited him into a group, opened up voice chat, and gotten my BF to say "hey handsome," all sultry-like.

Next time you should play into it...strip off your clothes, blow kisses and then when he's all good and excited from video game girls, have your boyfriend say "hi there big boy". Instant therapy

Aliyavana · August 2016

I noticed in auridon, the chat is very horrid, like you see ppl talk about all sorts of fetishes and stuff. I warn you all to avoid that place like the plague if you don't want to develop a strange attraction for khajiit. The furriess also hand around there and I fear for khajiit who zone in there, and khajiit who are also a werewolf is a double rip as youll get shredded by the native auridonions who dwell in the place. Funniest encounter with female was seeing a female surrounded by many male characters stripped or crossed dressed /dancingredguard /dancingkhajiit or dancing argonian and the female was dressed in school girl looking outfit (altmer light chest low leveled, missing pants etc) and the ppl who came to observe cheered them on. This was in rawlkha ad us server and it is known for its erp at times. ot on the female harassment but still on topic on erp, the weirdest erp I saw in rawlkha was two argonians with one dark elf and lets just say the argonians were the master in this scenario... I fear rawlkha sometimes but atleast the skooma given by the loacal inhabitants help heal those wounds.

Aliyavana · August 2016

Vigarr wrote: »

Aurielle wrote: »

BAHAHA, I spoke too soon earlier in this thread... Was playing ESO on my boyfriend's XB1, where I have a couple of lowbie characters that I haven't bothered to do much with yet. Was waiting for a dolmen to spawn, when this dual-wielding guy came up to me. He stood directly in front of my character, waved, and then started blocking... over and over again. It made it look as though his character was touching my character's chest. I was too stunned to react for a second, then burst out laughing. It was equal measures pathetic and hilarious.

Looking back on it now, I should have invited him into a group, opened up voice chat, and gotten my BF to say "hey handsome," all sultry-like.

Next time you should play into it...strip off your clothes, blow kisses and then when he's all good and excited from video game girls, have your boyfriend say "hi there big boy". Instant therapy

Lol, /dancedunmer and then respond saying hi there big boii, do you come here often? lawl!