Was a male, now a female and the difference is scary

driosketch

I have about half and half. Embra, who is slim and small busted Altmer is the one who gets most of the unsolicited friend/guild invites or free trades. Of course, over 2 years, this is a relatively rare experience.

Tatanya, based on a friend's tank character from another game, has gotten a few whispers due to the name. I think some might expect lore friendly or full names to be more common among women, or at least RP players.

Fjori has gotten comments about her chest. To be fair, it looks like she's sporting a pair of baseballs under there. I mean I was literally dyeing ancient elf armor orange and dark grey for that effect. Still, she's gotten less attention than the others. When a character is stacked, that's probably a red flag to some, Guy. In. Real. Life.

The most blatant one I've seen was a couple of players around the craft station harassing all the female characters. This was a good while back. By comparison, my male main has also gotten random friend or guild invites, and compliments on his attire. People will also chat up RaJa from time to time, but he is a magnificent cat, and therefore an outlier.

Burning_Talons

failkiwib16_ESO wrote: »

Burning_Talons wrote: »

Well my provisioner is female ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

@Burning_Talons fml.. I've neglected lvl'ing provisioning on all my male chars >.< all my females are well prepared.

@failkiwib16_ESO It was originally suppose to ve my crafter. Got her prov to lvl 50 and then realised...My main has high research so I made him a crafter and left the chick to make the sandwhiches

Soleya

It seems many players not only think others play the same sex as them, but think that the person looks like their character in real life.

I've been "hit on" a few times playing a female character (am male in real life). The trick is to go along with it, then invite them into teamspeak and talk to them in a really deep man voice.

disintegr8

It is amazing how many invites to group I got with my first female character. I even got into a group dungeon once and one of the group was a kid with is mates on some sort of group chat and all they were talking about was my characters physique. I got out of there quick smart.

These days I tend to leave her monster helmet on if I don't want any harassment. I am a male player with 4 male and 2 female characters (that I play on) and I don't play favourites, they all get equal game time from me.

Danikat

I'm female in real life, and play mainly female characters but I rarely get hit on in-game or encounter the other behaviour people talk about here.

Maybe because most of my female characters are khajiit or argonian and my breton has a scar down her face. (She's also not really designed to be pretty, although I don't think she's unattractive.)

But in general I don't notice players acting different towards me whether I'm playing one of my girls or my old, fat male Imperial.

ArchMikem

I play only female characters, but my Gamertag has "Mike" in the name, so people could easily put two and two together.

elantaura

All my characters i make pretty. I am a female in RL

My breton nb gets all the attention i have no idea why.
My poor female sorc gets all the rage hate pvp messages.(thanks for the entertainment btw) and everyone of them assumes im a boy, rather than be offended for making derogitory comments that often refer to femanine hygine products amoung other things i dont reply and - i kill just them repeatedly. l do get lots of group requests on her if she has stormproof on i rarely put it on.she is pretty but just never gets the same attention my nb does. She could do with some love in truth. To make up for all the hate.
My tank gets nothing.but shes always doing something if out rarely waiting around a bunch of strangers so that could be a factor
My templar gets the most friend requests - i dont accept unless they friend request the dps too, she was pretty but became a vamp and would probebly happily kill anyone.

My poor male kajhit get nothing but grief from my friends.

I have another male my dunmer sorc now - I tried making them but it never felt right to me the kajhit was the bridge for me. He low but got no attention.

Samuel_Bantien

Danikat wrote: »

I'm female in real life, and play mainly female characters but I rarely get hit on in-game or encounter the other behaviour people talk about here.

Maybe because most of my female characters are khajiit or argonian and my breton has a scar down her face. (She's also not really designed to be pretty, although I don't think she's unattractive.)

But in general I don't notice players acting different towards me whether I'm playing one of my girls or my old, fat male Imperial.

:^)
What's up buttercup?
BB ur eyes are as beautiful has teh morning sunset!
We married now gotta update FaceBook! brb

elantaura wrote: »

All my characters i make pretty. I am a female in RL

My poor male kajhit get nothing but grief from my friends.

I have another male my dunmer sorc now- I tried making them but it never felt right to me the kajhit was the bridge for me. He low but got no attention.

Hi i'm Sam where do you want to go for our honeymoon?

Aurielle

I'm a woman IRL and only play ladies (thinking of making a fleet of dudes on the EU server, though, since ZOS have lately been taking their sweet time in getting the NA server up). I haven't had any in-game harassment yet, which has been a pleasant surprise. I do see some eyeroll-worthy stuff in /zone from time to time (e.g. "WTB hot bosmer chick to dance for me"), but hey, that's /zone for you.

I do get random guild invitations occasionally, but I don't think that's because my characters are ladies -- cold guild invites are par for the course in most MMOs, aren't they? I got them in WoW and I got them on LOTRO, on a mix of female AND male characters.

Samuel_Bantien

Aurielle wrote: »

I'm a woman IRL and only play ladies (thinking of making a fleet of dudes on the EU server, though, since ZOS have lately been taking their sweet time in getting the NA server up). I haven't had any in-game harassment yet, which has been a pleasant surprise. I do see some eyeroll-worthy stuff in /zone from time to time (e.g. "WTB hot bosmer chick to dance for me"), but hey, that's /zone for you.

I do get random guild invitations occasionally, but I don't think that's because my characters are ladies -- cold guild invites are par for the course in most MMOs, aren't they? I got them in WoW and I got them on LOTRO, on a mix of female AND male characters.

I'm a fleet of dudes all in 1 ready 4u.
You know the game. Sam's the name.
Imma send you a guild invite no one can refuse ;^)

Marrtha wrote: »

I am female irl. My character in game looks like this;




Most I've gotten was 'Wow, sister, you scared me. You sure look the part' from a random RP khajiit at the lighthouse when we met the Speaker.

My hands like

4u.

Still mad about my hashbrowns.

LadyLethalla

I have a female Redguard, whom I think is attractive, now outfitted in Covenant armour - but when I had her in the Dark Seducer outfit I didn't notice any unusual player behaviour at all. I myself walk up and stare at other characters - not to perv but just because I want a closer look at their armour or costume.

The funniest, though, was not long after console release last year. I was hanging around Spindleclutch hoping to find a group, when this female character in only underwear came along and started dancing... the number of male characters clustered around her was funny. Or pathetic, whichever you prefer.

elantaura

My male kajhit would like to go to Elyswer he spends a lot of time away from the crazy sorc in cyrodil and could do with moonsugar a break
hang on the sorc told him to get back in and fight! ...or that she might plant that big axe she gave him that got in that arena in wrothgar, in him. and no one gets love untill she does. Sorc says she can come in his place run Sam!

EsoRecon

I can't believe I just read what I did.

Pandorii

Worst experience I had with sexism as a female gamer was long ago. I was recruiting for my guild in area chat, and a guy kept interrupting me to make accusations that "I've probably banged the entire NFL team." It wasn't even a realistic insult, but he and his friend thought it was funny to gang up on me. I just left. This was on console.

On the other hand, I've had a lot of people offer to buy me stuff or make me stuff. Little do they know that I am quite the moneymaker myself. This is harder to conceal now that people can see my CR.

FriedEggSandwich

I'm more likely to find a female voice on ts attractive if I'm honest, especially with a european accent, although I would never let on to them. My main is a male character, buffed out altmer with a big bushy beard and max size elf ears. I once got whispered and told I was handsome after recently fitting myself out in martial knowledge gear. I just assumed it was my attire they were attracted to. I get people stopping and staring occasionally but I do like to keep my char looking dapper

Dark_Claw

The best way to avoid unwanted attention is to just role a beastrace, because the moment a potential stalker spots a tail they tend to backtrack immediately.

I say "tend to" because a couple of weeks ago in Orsinium some Khajiit kept following me around the tavern and blowing kisses until I had enough and logged out. I find it humorous now but my poor toon still hasn't recovered from the trauma.

Abeille

FriedEggSandwich wrote: »

I'm more likely to find a female voice on ts attractive if I'm honest, especially with a european accent, although I would never let on to them. My main is a male character, buffed out altmer with a big bushy beard and max size elf ears. I once got whispered and told I was handsome after recently fitting myself out in martial knowledge gear. I just assumed it was my attire they were attracted to. I get people stopping and staring occasionally but I do like to keep my char looking dapper

Altmer males can look really handsome IMO, so they could be talking about your character and not your attire.

oddavi

so thats what the random trade invites were ...

Wing

also I find it a little more easy to immerse myself in the world as a female character because its so detached from myself, when I role males I tend to make them similar to me, imprint myself on them, then play me in a game instead of a character within the world with its own history.

SirAndy

Suter1972 wrote: »

Any other female characters (male or female RL players) get this ‘problem’

I get a LOT of whispers when i play my female Bosmer. I'm pretty sure it's a combination of her looks and her name.

Lynnessa

There's an old joke that MMORPG stands for Many Men Online Role Playing Girls.

I'm a guy that exclusively plays female characters. Not really sure why, except that's how I like to play; I think when it comes to games there need not be more reason than that for anything a player does.

Wing wrote: »

also I find it a little more easy to immerse myself in the world as a female character because its so detached from myself, when I role males I tend to make them similar to me, imprint myself on them, then play me in a game instead of a character within the world with its own history.

Yeah, I can identify with this. I like my fantasy to be very separate from reality.

Anyway, it's been quite a long time since anything awkward has happened to me, other than a few "oh you're a dude"'s when I get into voice chat. On PC (which is what I play), it's pretty widely known by now that avatars generally have nothing to do with the player piloting them. I suspect that there's probably a little more gender bias on console, but that's just my unsubstantiated intuition.

Thing is, many who are part of gamer culture have IRL social difficulties, so the kind of thing mentioned in OP and other posts here is commonplace.

NovaShadow

I get it rather often, the whispers, stares, people stopping to come back and get a better look.

Xerosus

Draxys wrote: »

I've always despised the sexy walk thing that they put onto female characters. It's just dumb, and I'm sure some people might even find it offensive. We can see the differences between character models, you don't have to make all the girl ones walk like they're on a catwalk modeling lingerie.

If someome told me that a walking animation offends them, i'd laugh them out of the server.

bebynnag

Female irl

i have tried playing as a male character & i ALWAYS get bored of them and end up deleting them

currently have 9 characters, all female, after deleting 2 max level males a few days ago rip Lord Tyrion of Lannister & insert funny name here (his actual name not a place filler to make this post amusing)

Mojmir

The best is when your TS name is female but you sound like Tom Waits.

Graydon

I play female characters for the attention and free stuff.

zuto40

my male vampire dark elf has never gotten hit on, this isnt fair! SEXISM!

carljokl

themotherconfessor25 wrote: »

i play chubby female characters, one skinny, and a tan male imperial named russet crowe.
edit:
nobody makes advances on russet crowe, sadly.

This strangely makes me wish I could take one of my female avatars to flirt with Russet to boost his confidence. Still in practice that requires same platform, server and alliance (albeit I have characters in every alliance).

Aliyavana

SirAndy wrote: »

Suter1972 wrote: »

Any other female characters (male or female RL players) get this ‘problem’

I get a LOT of whispers when i play my female Bosmer. I'm pretty sure it's a combination of her looks and her name.

but your female bosmer, by default I makes sense

Lysette

milkbox wrote: »

I have to chime in with a contrary experience-

I've played all females (as a female) for over 2 years, and only very, very rarely got even a hint of flirt from other players. No random strangers asked to group with me, or trade with me- maybe two "you're cute" whispers, in all that time.

Recently, I decided to make a male character. Since I see so many over-the-top and unrealistic females, I decided to make a ridiculous man. He's a super tall Altmer with big, ripply muscles and is just a little older, with gray beard and Adam-Ant eye stripe. I dressed him in a Primal jerkin so everyone could see his buff majesty... He looks a little like he may be going to a leather bar.

I was so surprised when suddenly I found myself constantly invited to group with people on random quests. People started chatting me up if I was waiting for a world boss or just standing somewhere around town. I got friend requests out of nowhere, pretty frequently.

I notice that not a lot of male avatars are hyper-sexualized. My guy really stands out in a crowd. So it may not just be that players automatically prey on women but not men- it may be that male characters aren't putting themselves out there to be properly objectified. ;p

I made the same experience with my male characters, which have an effect like a magnet in certain outfits - certainly I made them older with an "I know about life" look, while still having an athletic figure and an overall appearance, which appeals on an instinctive level to me. Does not make me wonder, that other females react to the same things - and will be disappointed, when they'll get aware of my female account name. Two of my 3 males are beast races, but they are not different in these regards.