Favorite NPC one-liners?

mrvbalc · August 2015

After Shalidor hit him with his ultimate Sheograth "Borrring"

Molag_Crow · August 2015

Mojmir · August 2015

Wanna cry me a river? Maybe u can float out of craglorn.

tinythinker · August 2015

CrowsDescend wrote: »

A better line is when he answers that question

Have you heard the story behind this? They had originally planned to have shield merchants in the game, but when they decided against it, they left this guy in.

SahrotRein · August 2015

My memory is too short to recall.

Molag_Crow · August 2015

@tinythinker Interesting...

Xerosus · August 2015

Naryu Virian - "People reeeeally frustrate me sometimes."
She's such a babe.

Blackhorne · August 2015

My current favorite is from Ennas at-Aswala in the Sentinel stables. Every time I ride up, she says "The horses are restless."

Not really funny in itself, but when you ride up to a stable on a lion, it's no wonder the horses are restless.

Yeah, Ennas, they're restless, because my mount is looking at them and licking its chops.

cinnamonbooty · August 2015

Oh man... Cadwell and Stibbons were two of my favourite characters, with some interesting dialogue/notes

Mojmir · August 2015

emeric-this crown makes me look stupid,i can see whats left of my hair is falling out

gilbegger · August 2015

In one mission I had to throw a "liquid" on a set number of NPCs...This substance masked their smell so Vampires wouldnt kill them.

This is during my caldwell's silver questing...about 3/4 ways through...so I was kind of "quest numb" at the time...not really paying attention. But what the NPC said made me LOL.

As I threw my last portion on the NPC ...I heard him say ..

"Cat Wizz?!!" (thats not what he said)... "Who throws cat wizz on someone?!"

NBrookus · August 2015

"M'aiq could not find the Tower of Lies. Molag Bal plays a joke, yes?"

RizaHawkeye · August 2015

"I could really use a good riding crop today."

That and what the Khajiit at Cat's Eye Que says to you:

"What's that? My ears are ringing. Would you mind stating the obvious again?"

Woolenthreads · August 2015

MercyKilling wrote: »

Random Nord in Windhelm:

"It is NOT a rumor!"

What's that? Choking? TOUGH YOU BABY! EAT THAT PIE!" or something to that effect.

"Tough you little baby! Finish.That.Pie!"

It's the tone that makes it funny though. The voice actor got it just right

tinythinker · August 2015

Woolenthreads wrote: »

show previous quotes

MercyKilling wrote: »

Random Nord in Windhelm:

"It is NOT a rumor!"

What's that? Choking? TOUGH YOU BABY! EAT THAT PIE!" or something to that effect.

"Tough you little baby! Finish.That.Pie!"

It's the tone that makes it funny though. The voice actor got it just right

Yeah sometimes it's the acting as much as the writing that makes the dialogue work.

tinythinker · August 2015

Vestige (asking about the ritual to be performed): Can you tell me more about the offering?
Farseer Bodani: The Ghost Snake has a taste for bog rats. They make a proper offering. But only if you bring exactly eight of the plump creatures to the Fang Spires.
Vestige: Why eight rats?
Farseer Bodani: Do not question the will of the Ghost Snake! Besides, that's exactly the number of rats that fit in the bag I gave you. More than that I cannot say. The mystery of the sacred number is not for the ears of an outsider.

(Later you can find a scroll, the "Scroll of Eight", that mentions the eight sacred aspects of the Ghost Snake.)

Fizzlewizzle · August 2015

A few things i heard in the Rift:
"I just had my armor cleaned, i miss the bloodstains already."
"Is it true what they say about Argonian Maids."

Also, this book:

The last two lines.

Kingof green · August 2015

"Go fiddling with any locks around here where going to have a real problem- Skyrim guard

newtinmpls · September 2015

So I'm sitting here, contemplating ESO and preparing to have my altmer clothier make some Night's Silence armor for my Khajiit nightblade, and my husband is working a dunmer DK through the end of the main quest.

I'm hearing Vanus Galarion behind me:

"Guard me while I perform this extremely powerful and highly impressive spell."

"It must be electrifying to watch a master such as I at work."

I always thought he was ... a bit on the arrogant side. But wow!

Alucardo · September 2015

I think I'm in love.

Asherons_Call · September 2015

Meera! Another mead!!!

Asherons_Call · September 2015

That's not normal mushroom behavior. I disapprove.

ProfessorKittyhawk · September 2015

There's an npc in the Inn in Windhelm, the Silver Nord or whatever it's called that goes like this.

Gudaric the Silent: What?
Me: What are you doing up here?
Gudaric: Getting warm.
Me: Can you tell me anything about Windhelm?
Gundaric: It's an old city.
Me: Don't talk much, do you?
Gundaric: What do you mean?
Me: Don't you have any interests.
Gundaric: I like music.
Me: Music? Really?
Gundaric: The whimsical harps of the Altmer always bring a tear to my eyes. Their fingers gently caressing the strings of the beautiful instruments, plucking and strumming songs that touch your soul. Its like they can see right into my heart.
Me: They have a bard downstairs.
Gundaric: I hope a troll eats him.

josh5813 · September 2015

"NOTHING SAYS I HATE YOU LIKE 50 ****ING BARRELS OF HI-GRADE EXPLOSIVES INSIDE A SPACESHIP SENT HURTLING INTO A WEAPON THAT IS A TRAVESTY TO NATURE!" Mr Torgue.

Yeah I know it's from Borderlands the Pre-Sequel but the OP never said it HAD to be from TESO.

Totalitarian · September 2015

"Oh sweet Tu'Whacca, save me! It's a banekin!" *runs off with Banekin chasing him*
"It was the oppressiveness of Redguard society that drove me to become a bandit. Yes. I blame society."

-Bailiff Sagabar

Mettaricana · September 2015

Mettaricana wrote: »

i pick pocketed a man working on the docks in riften he caught me he said..

"HELP GUARDS I"VE BEEN TOUCHED INAPPROPRIATELY BY A STRANGER!!"(in a whimsical pansy tone)

I found him too and lost it my gf lost it my kid lost it hell I think the cat lost it

siddique · September 2015

"The skins of those who you love will fly as my banners." Molag Bal.
"What is this? Has your tiny mortal mind snapped?" Molag Bal.

Van_0S · September 2015

Milva Githalve the prostitute.

http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Milva_Githalvel

Vulsahdaal · September 2015

I dont remember the exact wording (or know how to spell either lol) but this is one of my favorites. Its said by a Bosmer girl outside Elden Root to an Altmer who made offensive comment to her-

'You thrice blasted son of a dreg sifting root munching bread baking sot, may your ears be stuffed with wormy fly larvae and may your bow hand be bitten by a rabid stoat... Moving on!'

I love the way she gets that out all in one breath..

tinythinker · October 2015

Vulsahdaal wrote: »

I dont remember the exact wording (or know how to spell either lol) but this is one of my favorites. Its said by a Bosmer girl outside Elden Root to an Altmer who made offensive comment to her-

'You thrice blasted son of a dreg sifting root munching bread baking sot, may your ears be stuffed with wormy fly larvae and may your bow hand be bitten by a rabid stoat... Moving on!'

I love the way she gets that out all in one breath..

Some great voice actors in this game, and they really make the dialogue work/come to life. On a tangent, I heard a rumor video game voice actors might strike. I'm all for them getting proper pay and recognition, but I hope they can avoid a walk-out and we can avoid losing their talents for future DLC.