[Fun Forum Game] The Monkey's Paw - ESO edition.

Ratzkifal

This is inspired by some similar games, like where people wish for a superpower and the next person gets to give them a limitation on it, which often ends up being very silly.
In this case you wish for a feature or change in ESO and someone else then replies on it by granting your wish but adding something that ruins it.

Rules:

• Comment a feature or change you want to see being added to the game that hasn't been added yet - no matter how impossible.
• Reply to another person's comment by saying how their feature will be ruined.

Examples
A says: "I want flying mounts!"
B responds to A: "Flying Mounts are added but you can go no higher than 1m above ground."

Oh and please try to have fun in here and not bash the Devs or anyone for what they want to see being added.

Sheezabeast

I'll play your game, but we can no longer animation cancel


My desire:

"I wish for........interactable bards in towns, that let you pick the song they sing".

Ratzkifal

Sheezabeast wrote: »

I'll play your game, but we can no longer animation cancel


My desire:

"I wish for........interactable bards in towns, that let you pick the song they sing.

Your wish is granted but the only available songs are from the Murkmire bards and you are always within hearing distance of one.

Ratzkifal

My turn:

I wish for us to go to Akavir next year.

runa_gate

Ratzkifal wrote: »

My turn:

I wish for us to go to Akavir next year.

We'll go to Akavir but zone chat will be read aloud at full volume via text to speech


You both already weirdly stated the 2 things I'd like the most, so I will say I want writs and Remains-Silent to be able to be done entirely within one's own house

kargen27

Okay I grant that but each writ done consumes one piece of furniture.


I would like to be able to stay on my mount in deep water.

Oh and Remains-Silent doesn't. She just rambles on about inane things.

Sheezabeast

kargen27 wrote: »

Okay I grant that but each writ done consumes one piece of furniture.


I would like to be able to stay on my mount in deep water.

Oh and Remains-Silent doesn't. She just rambles on about inane things.

I grant that, but Mounts now have health durability bars, and take damage, and when they die, they die, and you have to replace them in your collections menu like you never owned them.

I wish for...Stuga to be a handsome, long haired Nord.

phairdon

Cyrodiil and the Imperial City reworked into pve zones. The vestige helps rebuild Cyrodiil. New area's created for pvp - a new war.

NotaDaedraWorshipper

Sheezabeast wrote: »

kargen27 wrote: »

Okay I grant that but each writ done consumes one piece of furniture.


I would like to be able to stay on my mount in deep water.

Oh and Remains-Silent doesn't. She just rambles on about inane things.

I grant that, but Mounts now have health durability bars, and take damage, and when they die, they die, and you have to replace them in your collections menu like you never owned them.

I wish for...Stuga to be a handsome, long haired Nord.

Granted, but he has the most annoying and ear-tearing voice in the history of Tamriel. And he's even more insistent than original Stuga at looking for you.

I wish for some Sanguine content to finally appear.

Ratzkifal

phairdon wrote: »

Cyrodiil and the Imperial City reworked into pve zones. The vestige helps rebuild Cyrodiil. New area's created for pvp - a new war.

It turns out the lag in Cyrodiil doesn't come from PvP and PvE in those zones is unplayable during prime time.
Also the new PvP area isn't fun because they removed castles, siege weapons and 99% of the playerbase chose the same of the new alliances.

Sheezabeast

NotaDaedraWorshipper wrote: »

Sheezabeast wrote: »

kargen27 wrote: »

Okay I grant that but each writ done consumes one piece of furniture.


I would like to be able to stay on my mount in deep water.

Oh and Remains-Silent doesn't. She just rambles on about inane things.

I grant that, but Mounts now have health durability bars, and take damage, and when they die, they die, and you have to replace them in your collections menu like you never owned them.

I wish for...Stuga to be a handsome, long haired Nord.

Granted, but he has the most annoying and ear-tearing voice in the history of Tamriel. And he's even more insistent than original Stuga at looking for you.

I wish for some Sanguine content to finally appear.

Ratzkifal

NotaDaedraWorshipper wrote: »

Sheezabeast wrote: »

kargen27 wrote: »

Okay I grant that but each writ done consumes one piece of furniture.


I would like to be able to stay on my mount in deep water.

Oh and Remains-Silent doesn't. She just rambles on about inane things.

I grant that, but Mounts now have health durability bars, and take damage, and when they die, they die, and you have to replace them in your collections menu like you never owned them.

I wish for...Stuga to be a handsome, long haired Nord.

Granted, but he has the most annoying and ear-tearing voice in the history of Tamriel. And he's even more insistent than original Stuga at looking for you.

I wish for some Sanguine content to finally appear.

Granted, but the antagonist is Sheogorath who completely steals the spotlight from him and Sanguine has to be the reasonable one of the two.

aaisoaho

phairdon wrote: »

Cyrodiil and the Imperial City reworked into pve zones. The vestige helps rebuild Cyrodiil. New area's created for pvp - a new war.

Granted. Every other zone is now all versus all PvP, but Cyrodiil and Imperial City.

I wish we had a group finder for trials and 4-man arenas.

Atrael7

aaisoaho wrote: »

phairdon wrote: »

Cyrodiil and the Imperial City reworked into pve zones. The vestige helps rebuild Cyrodiil. New area's created for pvp - a new war.

Granted. Every other zone is now all versus all PvP, but Cyrodiil and Imperial City.

I wish we had a group finder for trials and 4-man arenas.

Granted. There's no role selection.


I wish for a new weapon skill line.

oterWitz

aaisoaho wrote: »

I wish we had a group finder for trials and 4-man arenas.

I grant you this, and do such a good job that you can choose everything about the groupmates you want to find, from cp and previous clears to class, gear, and even the skills they have on their bar. Enjoy wait times of several days

I wish for racial passives to become selectable like mundus boons rather than tied to their specific race.

(PS great thread, the comments so far have cracked me up)

oterWitz

Atrael7 wrote: »

aaisoaho wrote: »

phairdon wrote: »

Cyrodiil and the Imperial City reworked into pve zones. The vestige helps rebuild Cyrodiil. New area's created for pvp - a new war.

Granted. Every other zone is now all versus all PvP, but Cyrodiil and Imperial City.

I wish we had a group finder for trials and 4-man arenas.

Granted. There's no role selection.


I wish for a new weapon skill line.

Oh no, I just missed your post when I started mine!

Hmm, I'll give you a weapon skill line but it's an extension of the provisioning skill, inspired by the new sweetroll set. People throw foods at their enemies to do damage and apply debuffs, or feed their allies to heal them.

mjharper

oterWitz wrote: »

aaisoaho wrote: »

I wish we had a group finder for trials and 4-man arenas.

I grant you this, and do such a good job that you can choose everything about the groupmates you want to find, from cp and previous clears to class, gear, and even the skills they have on their bar. Enjoy wait times of several days

I wish for racial passives to become selectable like mundus boons rather than tied to their specific race.

(PS great thread, the comments so far have cracked me up)

Granted, but now racial passives are a part of CP 2.0, have been nerfed (of course), and each one has to be slotted individually.

I'd like companions to be able to stand on pressure pads in dungeons.

phairdon

aaisoaho wrote: »

phairdon wrote: »

Cyrodiil and the Imperial City reworked into pve zones. The vestige helps rebuild Cyrodiil. New area's created for pvp - a new war.

Granted. Every other zone is now all versus all PvP, but Cyrodiil and Imperial City.

I wish we had a group finder for trials and 4-man arenas.

My wish is granted! Thank you Akatosh



Now trying to fathom the rest of the zones becoming pvp zones

Ratzkifal

Here is another classic:

I wish for the Dwemer to return and become a playable race.

Dark_Lord_Kuro

Ratzkifal wrote: »

Here is another classic:

I wish for the Dwemer to return and become a playable race.

Granted but they cant be vestige, once your character die, it get deleted along with its inventory

I wish for a dwemwer engeneer class to go with the perma-death dwemer race i just granted

Ratzkifal

Dark_Lord_Kuro wrote: »

Ratzkifal wrote: »

Here is another classic:

I wish for the Dwemer to return and become a playable race.

Granted but they cant be vestige, once your character die, it get deleted along with its inventory

I wish for a dwemwer engeneer class to go with the perma-death dwemer race i just granted

Ohh a chain of wishes, how fun!

Your wish is granted, but the Dwemer Engineer class relies on a crafting skill to make automatons out of combat but the tutorial for the skill line and names of all materials and crafted items are in the Dwemer language. Enjoy trying to figure out if you need the Rkugnamzthtingh or the Rkugnanzthtinggh to build your Mzunalft.

Ashryn

I wish that Bosmer would get their stealth back!

Ratzkifal

Ashryn wrote: »

I wish that Bosmer would get their stealth back!

Bosmer get their stealth back, but they all start looking like the Adoring Fan.
Spoilered for disturbing content:

Remathilis

I wish for a global auction house.

Nord_Raseri

Remathilis wrote: »

I wish for a global auction house.

Granted. Global Auction House can only be used to buy/sell grey quality items

Ratzkifal

Remathilis wrote: »

I wish for a global auction house.

I also got one.

The global auction house is granted, but there is only a single one in the world with no wayshrines anywhere nearby. The guild trader system isn't removed either and none of the items listed at guild traders show up in the auction house.

VaranisArano

Remathilis wrote: »

I wish for a global auction house.

Granted, but you have to pay a weekly fee to use it equal or greater to the average gold sink from the old guild trader bid. Oh, and the Global Auction House spams your inbox with mail for Pacrooti's Daily Deals and Pacrooti's Weekly Raffle.

I wish for Spears and One Hand & Spell as new skill lines.

Ratzkifal

VaranisArano wrote: »

Remathilis wrote: »

I wish for a global auction house.

Granted, but you have to pay a weekly fee to use it equal or greater to the average gold sink from the old guild trader bid. Oh, and the Global Auction House spams your inbox with mail for Pacrooti's Daily Deals and Pacrooti's Weekly Raffle.

I wish for Spears and One Hand & Spell as new skill lines.

Granted, but all spear abilities have a minimum range and cannot be used on targets that are closer to you than 5m or farther away than 7m.
One Hand & Spell skills all have a cast time of 1.1seconds or more and light/heavy attacks are exclusively melee rather than dynamic depending on distance.

NotaDaedraWorshipper

Oi, Ratzkifal, how am I supposed to play if you don't wish something!

VaranisArano wrote: »

I wish for Spears and One Hand & Spell as new skill lines.

Granted, spears is for magicka and one hand & spell is for stamina. The difference in appearance to staves and sword & board is pretty much nonexistent.


I wish for less Sheogorath.

Ratzkifal

NotaDaedraWorshipper wrote: »

Oi, Ratzkifal, how am I supposed to play if you don't wish something!

VaranisArano wrote: »

I wish for Spears and One Hand & Spell as new skill lines.

Granted, spears is for magicka and one hand & spell is for stamina. The difference in appearance to staves and sword & board is pretty much nonexistent.


I wish for less Sheogorath.

Alright, I'll make sure to wish for something every time then

Granted, Sheogorath stops making an appearance in this game but his place is taken by Senior Queso, who looks just like him with a mustache, sounds like him too and constantly spawns cheese atronachs whenever you encounter him.

I am wishing for treasure maps to become stackable just like crafting surveys.

Ashryn

Granted, but that stack is no more then 2 and they are now on a timer to expire.