For the Ladies - Experience as a Woman Playing ESO

Trikfut

I can't speak for ESO yet, but in my early years pf mmo game there wasn't that many females on such things so guys would treat you differently in both bad and good ways. Nowadays it's a common thing to be a gamer girl so the mind set has changed quite a bit in my experience. I feel i'm treated just like any other person now which iis better from my point of view.

dtm_samuraib16_ESO

VodkaVixen1979 wrote: »

I have gotten a few flirty Xbox messages. I stay out of area chat, so that helps. My fiancé and two sons play also, so they shield me most of the time. My fiancé is in some guilds that play with girls and will have the chat playing on the normal tv volume. It would be great if a bunch of girls out there wouldn't be giggly, valley girl bit€hes on chat. They aren't doing the rest of us women any favors for in game reputation.

The funny thing is: when men flirt with women, it can be considered harassment.
The other way around, however...
Men don't mind being flirted with...

Or so it seems, anyway.

Rosveen

vyndral13preub18_ESO wrote: »

All you women out there need to play male characters more often. It is pretty interesting to see how the other sex is treated.

I play both genders. My experience has been pretty much the same on all characters. In fact, the only time someone performed a sexual emote on me, I was playing a male Nord (and he wasn't even naked! I think the other guy just got bored waiting for the boss to respawn).

That said, I rarely mention my real life gender in the game unless asked. The people who know it have never treated me differently after they found out - at least not in a way I'm aware of. I remember a few instances of sexist behavior in my guilds, but they were rare and swiftly dealt with. I'm not sure about general demographics, but the current leadership in my main guild is 50/50 (and actually mostly female if you take only the leader and highest ranking officers).

Dromede wrote: »

Basically, one of the guys insisted that most girls play healers because of nurturing instincts and so on. We all experienced awkward silence at first, then people started disagreeing. It's not even sexism, it's more of stereotyping i think.

Healing is the only role I'm utterly hopeless at and tend to actively avoid. My preferred role is tanking, but I've been almost exclusively a damage dealer lately.

Sinbaar

our regular players have 4 girls and 18 men. I have to say that is totally fine. since we had the awesome luck to always get female b***** as an addition to our circle - nope^^ love "my" men to death - that's good the way it is :-D

Elloa

I started to play MMORPG when to be a female gamer was like finding a diamond in a coal mine. When it was truely like " OMG, Elloa, you are a giiiiiiirl"

I find that it is not the case anymore. ESO have a high concentration of female players. Maybe not as high than a cute game like Final Fantsay XIV, but still.... Female gamers are NOT UNCOMMON anymore. I never feel to be favorised about my gender, or having poeple surprised that I'm a female.
That was the kind of reaction you could expect 10 years ago but not anymore.

Now, maybe it's also because I do not behave as a female when I play. I'm just me. It happen that my gender is female. Not trying to hide it. Not playing with it either to obtain favours. If I get favours or compliments, I want to obtain them because poeple find me a NICE person, a KIND person, and doing a GOOD JOB, not because I'm a female.

ArchMikem

ArchMikem wrote: »

Xeven wrote: »

Men objectify women. That's why they make female characters with big boobs.

slowly hides my Khajiit...

I actually want to make an additional note. Made my third character yesterday, another female Khajiit. Actually gave her a smaller-ish chest this time and she looks rather nice that way.

I'm a sucker for the Pear figure anyway.

dtm_samuraib16_ESO

I do not get why folks play the opposite gender.
Makes no sense to me.
Actually, it makes it very hard on me, not knowing who's what, and then I get reactions as: "Sister? I'm a dude..."
As per the Kinkies: "Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls. It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world"

And children are actually FBI. :P

ArchMikem

dtm_samuraib16_ESO wrote: »

I do not get why folks play the opposite gender.
Makes no sense to me.
Actually, it makes it very hard on me, not knowing who's what, and then I get reactions as: "Sister? I'm a dude..."
As per the Kinkies: "Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls. It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world"

And children are actually FBI. :P

My female interaction in the real world equates to the resounding amount of zero. I get my fill of girls from digital means to compensate.

But no worry with me. If you look at my cat girl and see the name "Mikem" in the gamertag, that's a giveaway.

failkiwib16_ESO

Hmm I

EstelioVeleth wrote: »

failkiwib16_ESO wrote: »

@EstelioVeleth lol it happened a while ago, so here's an old picture of how my char used to look ..sorry for the bad quality, it's the fastest picture I could find.

Highelf templar v14. (the image is ooold)

She is beautiful with a big heart xDDDDDDDDDDD!

Thank you
I do miss being white, it was a well fitted color for a healer... now I wear full black, because all other colors look weird on my new gear lol brown looks pink, red looks like orange, white looks like grey...

Danikat

dtm_samuraib16_ESO wrote: »

I do not get why folks play the opposite gender.
Makes no sense to me.
Actually, it makes it very hard on me, not knowing who's what, and then I get reactions as: "Sister? I'm a dude..."
As per the Kinkies: "Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls. It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world"

And children are actually FBI. :P

For me it's simple. My characters are not me, they're characters I've invented to fit the storyline. A male writer won't only put male characters in their books, they use a whole variety of characters to build up the story.

Therefore my characters don't have to be anything like me - they're not the same age, the same height or weight, or even the same species so it doesn't matter if they're the same gender.

craybest

When I read "for the ladies" in the topic, I assumed this would have lots of sexy dudes in skimpy clothes... I'm disappointed.
On the more serious side, as guys I don't think we'll ever realize the huge difference that it is to be a woman, both in MMO's and in real life. Many times guys think people are exaggerating, but it really is a big deal. I'm blown away by the comments some people get on MMOs and real life just for being a woman. it's ridiculous.

Benzaiten

I haven't had many problems, outside of maybe one or two kinda pervy comments about my voice. But then again, I don't usually speak up in area chat (Xbox) unless spoken to directly, and I don't use my mic unless I have to.

I have heard a few racist and homophobic comments, but those people usually get shut down pretty quickly. And then there was this dude who was telling a 14yo who was getting bullied at school to take a gun and shoot everyone.

Haven't seen that prick around since.

qrichou

My char is female , i prefer looking at female charrs , i myself. am a male . thusfar. i encountered some , female players saying "anything" to get male attention . When in pve area , i simply mute and block them same goes for the males or kids that repleyed to her with some sexuel suggestions ( wich she loved by given better 1s ) . When in pvp ( diff females) , i mail them telling them they ruin the battle by talking like that. because whole male zergs will fill the campaigne doin nutin but drewl . My choice of words in that mail , is drasticly diiff then here . So overall , there are annoying players , male ,female, kids , but i choose to mute and block them . It would be a waist of time to argue with a fool .

jarrandub17_ESO

Shoot my guild has more ladies than gents it seems. We never have any probs

qrichou

dtm_samuraib16_ESO wrote: »

I do not get why folks play the opposite gender.
Makes no sense to me.
Actually, it makes it very hard on me, not knowing who's what, and then I get reactions as: "Sister? I'm a dude..."
As per the Kinkies: "Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls. It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world"

And children are actually FBI. :P

Speaking for myself and how i create a char.

I imagine a person who is grumpy ,dissapointed , angry and because of all the hardship endured an survivor ( rpg is the magic word) .
So i made a male ,ugly orc sorc vampire crafter .
Crafting is what he does best ,every pride goes in there.

I imagine a person who is overcompensating feels overlooked and invisible, takes whitout asking , try's to fit in despiretly , does dangerous things and gets away with it.
So i made a smal female khajit nightblade who thinks she is a lion , and attacks everything first before checking if its safe and steels everything thats shiny.


I imagine a powerfull ,helpfull , can do it all or die trying ,to warm yet strong person .
So i made a Female highelf templar healer , she is like a mirror , if you are nice , she is to . Since patch she can do instead of die trying.
Its my main char ,looks hot and trys to be patient .

I think other players might have the same mindset in creating a char and will make it work and look like there fantasy.

jcasini222ub17_ESO

Weird, I've had a different experience gaming as a dude in general. First games online multiplayer space merchant/utopia. Genders never mattered, guilds had female and male leadership with a seemingly even split amongst the guilds I was in. Then in swg, same story mix of guild leadership and members. That was when I was 13-15 now 28 the same trend through my entire online game time. In general I can't recall one sexist moment, where gender mattered, or where anything that defines the person beyond the screen mattered - no horror stories for me. I've heard of horror stories though, of course.

Always was with people that could care less about who you where behind the screen (sure friendly convo is nice) but can you bring it when staring down that krayt dragon? You ready for this corpse run that couldn't be in a worse spot? You ready to have your 25 person kingdom online and ready to attack at 330am?

Characters on screen matter to me, the character you choose to be in real life is all you.

ArchMikem

I like how the topic of the thread changed completely cause of what Samurai said.

FrostFallFox

I identify as non-binary. I get harassed in area chat a lot.

Sanguine

FrostFallFox wrote: »

I identify as non-binary. I get harassed in area chat a lot.

Ay, I feel bad for you. I myself am a man, but my voice... well it doesn't quite show it and while to me it sounds deep, when I hear it played back I usually do a double take. I'm quite glad that I have a good computer to play this game on, otherwise it would be a deal breaker to me. I prefer text chat and I'd only use teamspeak to listen as I don't have a mic.

As far as this topic, I haven't noticed any blatant sexism towards one gender or the other, but definitely some rather questionable comments in zone chat in Stonefalls. All my characters are EP, so I try to get them all out of there as fast as I can, while still doing all of the quests and caves.

NovaShadow

Personally, I haven't had much issue with this in game except for 1 instance that comes to mind.

It used to be more common for me when I used TS and actually spoke. I barely use it now cause of that, prefer not to speak or not use it full stop.

Lysette

craybest wrote: »

When I read "for the ladies" in the topic, I assumed this would have lots of sexy dudes in skimpy clothes... I'm disappointed.
On the more serious side, as guys I don't think we'll ever realize the huge difference that it is to be a woman, both in MMO's and in real life. Many times guys think people are exaggerating, but it really is a big deal. I'm blown away by the comments some people get on MMOs and real life just for being a woman. it's ridiculous.

Interesting, that you see it that way - when I play a male character, the most remarkable to me is, that I do not get that much attention as I am used to. This feels weird in a way, even it is nice to be left alone as well. So when you get into a female role, you get attention in a way, which is unfamiliar to you, this must feel weird too, I guess.

Lysette

NovaShadow wrote: »

Personally, I haven't had much issue with this in game except for 1 instance that comes to mind.

It used to be more common for me when I used TS and actually spoke. I barely use it now cause of that, prefer not to speak or not use it full stop.

I experienced the same - knowing that you are female and actually hearing it makes a huge difference for people and is changing their behavior. I find it as well more comfortable in a game to not remind anybody all the time what gender I am by using voice. Text does not do that and all is fine.

IrishGirlGamer

NovaShadow wrote: »

Personally, I haven't had much issue with this in game except for 1 instance that comes to mind.

It used to be more common for me when I used TS and actually spoke. I barely use it now cause of that, prefer not to speak or not use it full stop.

I joined a guild back in 2014 (second guild I joined in the game) that had a mandatory TS rule. I joined it because I really wanted to learn to group and it seemed like a good way to do it, right?

One night four of us are in an Undaunted dungeon (maybe Wayrest?) and one of the guys in the group was all about my personal life. Thing is, he kept getting himself killed, again and again, until one of the other guys was like, "Stop talking to the girl and play the f******* game!!"

I left the guild shortly thereafter, when one of the other guys (who as in the Sewers with us that night) started his own guild. It's funny, I'm still in that guild and I'll run a headset when I'm with them (not so much anymore because there aren't many of us left). I won't quit the guild because they're my voice group.

I'll put on a headset for some groups, but mostly I just don't want that level of intimacy in an online game.

IrishGirlGamer

Elloa wrote: »

I started to play MMORPG when to be a female gamer was like finding a diamond in a coal mine. When it was truely like " OMG, Elloa, you are a giiiiiiirl"

I find that it is not the case anymore ...

This. The very first video game forum I joined, over ten years ago, I think I may have been the first or one of the first girls on the forum. For the most part it was fine, but eventually I ran into trouble with someone whose special brand of psychotic cocktail include severe passive/aggression and a fascination with teenage girls (the passive part was quite tolerable, but the aggressive ... not so much). Back then I used a different forum name, and I used it on all my forum/internet activity, and so when that relationship soured, it soured in a big way. Lesson learned.

Ironically, if anything's caused me grief in ESO it's my forum name. (Funny story: I didn't even pick it. There was a problem with the first name I chose and Zenimax CS asked me to provide them with three or four possible names for them to check. Only one of my selections had the word "girl" in it but that's the one Zenimax chose.) I've been accused of calling attention to the fact that I'm female by putting word "girl" in my name. A guy can use the name "AssasinMan" or "GarbageMan" without comment, but a female who adds gender identity to her name is just looking for attention. Whatever.

ESO is a social experience. It's like going to a party. There are a couple of dozen people there. Some guys, some girls, some I have connection with, others I'd rather leave on the other side of the room. The good thing is you can do just that: walk away and go find people you'd rather hang with.

And so my experience in ESO has been pretty good.

Kippesnikke

Nifty2g wrote: »

BomblePants wrote: »

@Nifty2g - wind up....

why are you white knighting for
ill help all you girls up just holla at me right quick

pm me for more details

elitist? u got some L2P issues man. scrublord nifty

ArchMikem

IrishGirlGamer wrote: »

One night four of us are in an Undaunted dungeon (maybe Wayrest?) and one of the guys in the group was all about my personal life. Thing is, he kept getting himself killed, again and again, until one of the other guys was like, "Stop taking to the girl and play the f******* game!!"

I think that's a golden rule about the internet. Don't get too into people's personal lives. If it's used as small talk then basic questions only. If the other party objects then change gears. And if the person is heavily questioning you about it then all hands abandon ship.

I used to get a bit excited about girls in games yeeaaars ago as well, but now I know to just don't give it anymore attention than I do anyone else. They have their own lives on the other side of that headset, you don't need to be a part of it unless they ask you to be.

kip_silverwolf

Apart from the odd jerk, I have had very few problems with male players.

If anything, I've had more problems from other females! For some reason, because my character is male, some people assume I am also male. There have been a few times where I have been harrassed, received sexually explicit whispers and have invitations from other females to send me 'intimate' photos of themselves. When I've let them know I'm female as well and not interested, I have been called gay or a liar!

But thankfully these kind of people are far and few between. Most of the people, both male & female, I have met in-game have been great people - mature enough to enjoy a giggle while still being respectful and a pleasure to game with.

Clarkieson

Elloa wrote: »

I started to play MMORPG when to be a female gamer was like finding a diamond in a coal mine. When it was truely like " OMG, Elloa, you are a giiiiiiirl"

I find that it is not the case anymore. ESO have a high concentration of female players. Maybe not as high than a cute game like Final Fantsay XIV, but still.... Female gamers are NOT UNCOMMON anymore. I never feel to be favorised about my gender, or having poeple surprised that I'm a female.
That was the kind of reaction you could expect 10 years ago but not anymore.

Now, maybe it's also because I do not behave as a female when I play. I'm just me. It happen that my gender is female. Not trying to hide it. Not playing with it either to obtain favours. If I get favours or compliments, I want to obtain them because poeple find me a NICE person, a KIND person, and doing a GOOD JOB, not because I'm a female.

Most of the better players in eso are ladies, played with a few on ps4. To be honest i would rather be in a group with women, so much more fun than guys.

FriedEggSandwich

On PC I don't give a second thought to someone's gender until I hear a female voice in TS. So many guys play girls and vice versa there's no point giving it any more thought. It's a bit different on console I guess with voice chat. If you're a girl on PC who's getting hassle just tell them you're a guy and they'll soon shush. If I played on console I would have all voice functionality disabled.

Leogon

Clarkieson wrote: »

To be honest i would rather be in a group with women, so much more fun than guys.

This. Women tend to be more fun and respectful than men. Also, if you enjoy having great conversations well women are your best bet. Sources: My gaming and real life experiences.