BlissfulDelusions wrote: »@BlissfulDelusions Actually, I think that the community as a whole is quite friendly and helpful. It does seem a bit harsh to kick for that but others posting here to have a very valid point that it was inconsiderate of you to queue for something you were not prepared for. Personally, I don’t think it was worth posting about. You’ll be ready next time, yes?
@ErinM31 If you'll read my previous posts, you'll see exactly why I wasn't prepared for that particular dungeon.
In this thread? I looked back and couldn’t find anything. Oh, I see in your later posts... I’m a bit confused but I’ve never done these myself and was responding purely on the principle of the thing.
If most people are ready to start when they queue, then it still seems less considerate to queue without being prepared (or in this case, most likely to be unprepared?). If it doesn’t take long to grab this, then it shouldn’t have been a big deal to wait since you have them a heads up and kicking does seem harsh, but not so bad as to post about. Just from my perspective, from PUGging in other games, seems they were less considerate than what I would hope would be normal (assuming grabbing what you needed is a quick thing) but not worth more than a moments frustration on your part and perhaps being glad to not run with impatient people and still not crossing the line to outright wrong behavior, IMHO.
redspecter23 wrote: »Did they say why they kicked you? The assumption is that your previous line of dialogue was the reasoning (as you really have no other info).
Maybe they thought you were a fake tank/dps/healer somehow. Maybe they don't like cats? Perhaps you were on a pet sorc and they booted on principle. It's not necessarily any nicer to kick for those reasons, but I suppose they may have had some other reason and it just so happened that the vote passed after your line about pledges.
lordrichter wrote: »
Wouldn't queuing up and not forcing people to wait on you be the "nice" thing to do? It seems that the person that queued up unprepared is 100% at fault here.
BlissfulDelusions wrote: »BlissfulDelusions wrote: »@BlissfulDelusions Actually, I think that the community as a whole is quite friendly and helpful. It does seem a bit harsh to kick for that but others posting here to have a very valid point that it was inconsiderate of you to queue for something you were not prepared for. Personally, I don’t think it was worth posting about. You’ll be ready next time, yes?
@ErinM31 If you'll read my previous posts, you'll see exactly why I wasn't prepared for that particular dungeon.
In this thread? I looked back and couldn’t find anything. Oh, I see in your later posts... I’m a bit confused but I’ve never done these myself and was responding purely on the principle of the thing.
If most people are ready to start when they queue, then it still seems less considerate to queue without being prepared (or in this case, most likely to be unprepared?). If it doesn’t take long to grab this, then it shouldn’t have been a big deal to wait since you have them a heads up and kicking does seem harsh, but not so bad as to post about. Just from my perspective, from PUGging in other games, seems they were less considerate than what I would hope would be normal (assuming grabbing what you needed is a quick thing) but not worth more than a moments frustration on your part and perhaps being glad to not run with impatient people and still not crossing the line to outright wrong behavior, IMHO.
The post in which I outlined what happened, #8, is the one I was referring to. But the quoting was screwed up, so it appears as if @lordrichter was the one saying it.
And trust me, I have had plenty of bad experiences both in PvE, and PvP. This is actually my first time making a thread about toxicity in pugs. You're welcome to check my post history to verify that (since I rarely post here, anyways).
Like I said before, I understand that having today's pledges would help you be prepared for the situation in which you queue for a random and get today's pledge as your dungeon, but keeping last night's pledges helps you avoid getting yesterday's pledges after you've dropped them. Besides, I always idle in the Undaunted camp when I queue, to not waste anyone's time more than I have to, if it happens that I get the day's pledges. I just don't think a two minute wait at the most is something to kick over, when I myself have had people in dungeons ask for a quick break for whatever reason plenty of time, and rarely voiced any complaint over it (and only then when I had a scroll running and they were taking an unusually long time).
The point of this thread is, I think PvEers especially could do more to be understanding, calm, patient and constructive. Granted, that point might have flown over the heads of many, given the facetious way the thread was started with the ironic use of a positive title contrasting a picture showing players not being that way.
I do my best to be patient with pugs all the time, helping explain mechanics, letting them take quick breaks and so forth. Why is it acceptable that a player be kicked for spending a few minutes grabbing a refreshed pledge?
Meh. Personally I wouldn't have kicked you...
Slightly off-topic, but this current little "turf war" between PvEers and PvPers is rapidly reaching meme levels. I imagine some of the devs are amused as the playerbase eats itself alive.
It's no surprise that other MMO communities look at ESO's community with scorn...
Meh. Personally I wouldn't have kicked you...
Slightly off-topic, but this current little "turf war" between PvEers and PvPers is rapidly reaching meme levels. I imagine some of the devs are amused as the playerbase eats itself alive.
It's no surprise that other MMO communities look at ESO's community with scorn...
Meh, there’s a degree of that in every MMORPG; certainly there is in GW2. I think it develops from a perception — correct or not — that changes are made for one playstyle to the detriment of the other.
BlissfulDelusions wrote: »BlissfulDelusions wrote: »@BlissfulDelusions Actually, I think that the community as a whole is quite friendly and helpful. It does seem a bit harsh to kick for that but others posting here to have a very valid point that it was inconsiderate of you to queue for something you were not prepared for. Personally, I don’t think it was worth posting about. You’ll be ready next time, yes?
@ErinM31 If you'll read my previous posts, you'll see exactly why I wasn't prepared for that particular dungeon.
So your excuse is that you queued up for random thinking that if you were ending in yesterday's pledges, all the better. It turned out it was today's pledges. So we're back to what we are all saying, you came unprepared for the pledges of this day. And on top of that, instead of accepting that you rolled (hoping to get past day's pledges), lost and move on, you asked people to wait for you. I kind of miss where this is considerate from you...
I wouldn't have kicked for this either, but it really gets on my nerves every time someone starts a PUG with "sorry, grabbing the pledge".
No, I queued up for a random with my old pledges active in the case that I might get them. When it turned out I had the wrong pledge, I gave a headsup to them to make sure they were aware I was going to grab the pledge, instead of leaving them in the dark with silence.
In turn, they opted to kick me, wasting both my time and theirs, as they had to then requeue and wait for another tank to show up, while I had to wait 15 minutes for the cooldown to wear off.
Face it, mate, most other players, had they queued for a random and gotten the pledge, would have asked for a few minutes to grab it. I understand how you, others, and even yours truly might find it mildly infuriating, but does it warrant a KICK?
No, you said it yourself that it doesn't.
lordrichter wrote: »lordrichter wrote: »
Wouldn't queuing up and not forcing people to wait on you be the "nice" thing to do? It seems that the person that queued up unprepared is 100% at fault here.
So, if I may paraphrase... what you are saying is that if someone perceives that the other is not being "nice" because, in their eyes, they were not ready, it is perfectly fine to not be nice back to them. Yeah. That's a model community member right there. 10 out of 10.
Nice has to start somewhere. Didn't happen here.
BlissfulDelusions wrote: »That quoting format got royally fudged up.
@lordrichter You're right. Nice has to start somewhere. He should have been nice and prepared before he queued.
Yeah. That's a logical community member right there. 10 out of 10.
We are talking about forgiveness at this point. Your neighbor comes over and takes a *** on your porch. It wasn't nice but would you forgive him and let it slide? I mean - it's only going to take you 20 seconds to clean it up.
Nice starts with being prepared and not queueing for instances where you're going to put out other people.
BlissfulDelusions wrote: »In turn, they opted to kick me, wasting both my time and theirs, as they had to then requeue and wait for another tank to show up, while I had to wait 15 minutes for the cooldown to wear off.
Feom personal experience:
Eso's worst of the worst is far kinder and nicer than the nicest person on LoL.
Eso's Worst of the Worst is more supporting and patient than WoW's most outgoing and helpful.
Eso's Worst of the worst is more pleasing and caring than all on GW2
ESO's community, is filled with people of all walks of life and personalities. Many clash, most get a long, and find more solutions versus the rare kick and moving on. More similar, to FFXIV, not exactly like it, but holds a lot of similarities in the pros versus the cons.
BlissfulDelusions wrote: »BlissfulDelusions wrote: »@BlissfulDelusions Actually, I think that the community as a whole is quite friendly and helpful. It does seem a bit harsh to kick for that but others posting here to have a very valid point that it was inconsiderate of you to queue for something you were not prepared for. Personally, I don’t think it was worth posting about. You’ll be ready next time, yes?
@ErinM31 If you'll read my previous posts, you'll see exactly why I wasn't prepared for that particular dungeon.
So your excuse is that you queued up for random thinking that if you were ending in yesterday's pledges, all the better. It turned out it was today's pledges. So we're back to what we are all saying, you came unprepared for the pledges of this day. And on top of that, instead of accepting that you rolled (hoping to get past day's pledges), lost and move on, you asked people to wait for you. I kind of miss where this is considerate from you...
I wouldn't have kicked for this either, but it really gets on my nerves every time someone starts a PUG with "sorry, grabbing the pledge".
No, I queued up for a random with my old pledges active in the case that I might get them. When it turned out I had the wrong pledge, I gave a headsup to them to make sure they were aware I was going to grab the pledge, instead of leaving them in the dark with silence.
In turn, they opted to kick me, wasting both my time and theirs, as they had to then requeue and wait for another tank to show up, while I had to wait 15 minutes for the cooldown to wear off.
Face it, mate, most other players, had they queued for a random and gotten the pledge, would have asked for a few minutes to grab it. I understand how you, others, and even yours truly might find it mildly infuriating, but does it warrant a KICK?
No, you said it yourself that it doesn't.
There is no timer penalty when kicked. Did you accidently leave the group?
Kingslayer513 wrote: »>roleplayer
>completely unprepared
You had it coming
It has some to do with ones threshold for rejection and how much gets into your core. What they did, in kicking you, can be really a visceral painful sensation to some people. Like a punch straight to the sternum, icy and heavy and hurtful. It can almost have a physical sensation. And then there are folks that don't feel that level of impact even when their significant other dumps them.
It comes down to how easily a trespass can reach your tender feelings as well as the idea of 'I would not do this to them, why then did they do this bad thing to me?'.
Both of those are spectrums. Some of us have think skin but a keen sense of being taken advantage of. Others bruise like a peach but forgive disparity between their devotion and the reciprocity of their friends and lovers.
All that makes coming to a group (like a website) hard because we all 'know' our places in these emotional and protective spectrums are of course, the best and correct places.
Which is a long winded way to say, OP, that my heart ached for you reading this thread because it seems like your heart was bruised and I wanted to give you a hug and hope your day was improving.
BlissfulDelusions wrote: »BlissfulDelusions wrote: »@BlissfulDelusions Actually, I think that the community as a whole is quite friendly and helpful. It does seem a bit harsh to kick for that but others posting here to have a very valid point that it was inconsiderate of you to queue for something you were not prepared for. Personally, I don’t think it was worth posting about. You’ll be ready next time, yes?
@ErinM31 If you'll read my previous posts, you'll see exactly why I wasn't prepared for that particular dungeon.
So your excuse is that you queued up for random thinking that if you were ending in yesterday's pledges, all the better. It turned out it was today's pledges. So we're back to what we are all saying, you came unprepared for the pledges of this day. And on top of that, instead of accepting that you rolled (hoping to get past day's pledges), lost and move on, you asked people to wait for you. I kind of miss where this is considerate from you...
I wouldn't have kicked for this either, but it really gets on my nerves every time someone starts a PUG with "sorry, grabbing the pledge".
No, I queued up for a random with my old pledges active in the case that I might get them. When it turned out I had the wrong pledge, I gave a headsup to them to make sure they were aware I was going to grab the pledge, instead of leaving them in the dark with silence.
In turn, they opted to kick me, wasting both my time and theirs, as they had to then requeue and wait for another tank to show up, while I had to wait 15 minutes for the cooldown to wear off.
Face it, mate, most other players, had they queued for a random and gotten the pledge, would have asked for a few minutes to grab it. I understand how you, others, and even yours truly might find it mildly infuriating, but does it warrant a KICK?
No, you said it yourself that it doesn't.
There is no timer penalty when kicked. Did you accidently leave the group?
BlissfulDelusions wrote: »BlissfulDelusions wrote: »@BlissfulDelusions Actually, I think that the community as a whole is quite friendly and helpful. It does seem a bit harsh to kick for that but others posting here to have a very valid point that it was inconsiderate of you to queue for something you were not prepared for. Personally, I don’t think it was worth posting about. You’ll be ready next time, yes?
@ErinM31 If you'll read my previous posts, you'll see exactly why I wasn't prepared for that particular dungeon.
In this thread? I looked back and couldn’t find anything. Oh, I see in your later posts... I’m a bit confused but I’ve never done these myself and was responding purely on the principle of the thing.
If most people are ready to start when they queue, then it still seems less considerate to queue without being prepared (or in this case, most likely to be unprepared?). If it doesn’t take long to grab this, then it shouldn’t have been a big deal to wait since you have them a heads up and kicking does seem harsh, but not so bad as to post about. Just from my perspective, from PUGging in other games, seems they were less considerate than what I would hope would be normal (assuming grabbing what you needed is a quick thing) but not worth more than a moments frustration on your part and perhaps being glad to not run with impatient people and still not crossing the line to outright wrong behavior, IMHO.
The post in which I outlined what happened, #8, is the one I was referring to. But the quoting was screwed up, so it appears as if @lordrichter was the one saying it.
And trust me, I have had plenty of bad experiences both in PvE, and PvP. This is actually my first time making a thread about toxicity in pugs. You're welcome to check my post history to verify that (since I rarely post here, anyways).
Like I said before, I understand that having today's pledges would help you be prepared for the situation in which you queue for a random and get today's pledge as your dungeon, but keeping last night's pledges helps you avoid getting yesterday's pledges after you've dropped them. Besides, I always idle in the Undaunted camp when I queue, to not waste anyone's time more than I have to, if it happens that I get the day's pledges. I just don't think a two minute wait at the most is something to kick over, when I myself have had people in dungeons ask for a quick break for whatever reason plenty of time, and rarely voiced any complaint over it (and only then when I had a scroll running and they were taking an unusually long time).
The point of this thread is, I think PvEers especially could do more to be understanding, calm, patient and constructive. Granted, that point might have flown over the heads of many, given the facetious way the thread was started with the ironic use of a positive title contrasting a picture showing players not being that way.
I do my best to be patient with pugs all the time, helping explain mechanics, letting them take quick breaks and so forth. Why is it acceptable that a player be kicked for spending a few minutes grabbing a refreshed pledge?
True. And it is common courtesy to wait a few minutes for RL stuff, reconnects after dc’s, etc. It does seem harsh and not even logical since, as you pointed out, they would have to wait through another queue.
And yes, tbh, the opening of your thread, followed by some of the initial responses did give me a certain impression which I reacted against. IMHO, if there is a trend of rudeness or other negative behavior, making a thread about that without any hyperbolic tone or implication might better get your point across rather than getting either pitchforks or defensive reactions.