Addicted to eso

Saturnana · March 2017

I was going to say that maybe, if you feel that you are addicted to a game, she has a point. IF you're missing out on real life things because of games, then maybe it's good to cut back a bit. But considering the fact that she plays Skyrim for hours on end without you fuzzing about it (I assume you don't mind her playing?), there seems to be something askew here. Relationships are a two-way street, so there should be a balance.. give and take. If you're serious about the girl AND the game, you guys might want to have a little chat about time management. Play ESO while she's playing Skyrim, so you can spend the time before or after together? Or, like others suggested, let her play some ESO. If she's into Skyrim, she'll love it and you'll have something to do together. (Believe me, it's how my bf managed to sway me in the end

).

Sheezabeast · March 2017

Couple gaming is nice, I hope one day you can let her play around with character creation

I played ESO since beta with my husband, but he discovered he really doesn't like people hahaha

He began distancing himself from the game, and now only sometimes plays with me, but when we did play together every day it was the best

Maybe you could buy a really cute small starter house with a yard like Twin Arches for example, and let her pick the decorations, and you can explain how she can take her character she designed and come to the house with you and she can pick what pets go where, and your mounts...just some ideas to help

kylewwefan · March 2017

Set time limits. Give the game some not all of your free time, don't "Make" free time for the game. When Wife wants to do something, put the game down like it doesn't even matter.

Could you see yourself getting up early to play this game? All sorts of people get up early to go to gym before work. Kind of like that.

darthsithis · March 2017

lnsane wrote: »

I was going to say that maybe, if you feel that you are addicted to a game, she has a point.

It doesn't interfere with anything in my life except her getting upset at it. That being said, I am addicted lol.

Just gonna uninstall it. There's always 'one more thing to do' but I see that never ends. Just gotta uninstall and move on for a bit.

I like the concept about a two way street. I don't mind her playing skyrim, and I think she hates eso because I do endgame stuff and 12 ppl can't wait on me or get screwed over cuz I left randomly. That's the biggest part I think. It's also the part of the game that hooks me the most lol...you know...the MMO part of it lol

Cpt_Teemo · March 2017

darthsithis wrote: »

^touche, a valid argument.

Ur kinda right just don't wanna admit that.

But I CAN say that if something causes a rift, it just has to go. i really was addicted tho, had such a hard time turning the damn Xbox off even at like 6am. This game really clicked with me. Maybe mmo's are just like that, I feel like it is designed to be addictive and then prey on that while giving you a sense of great accomplishment haha

Yeah I really do wish it will work out between you two, but I wouldn't give up what I wanted to do with my time though

darthsithis · March 2017

A fair point. Objectively, she means more to me though, so I'm gonna respect her wishes for now. Maybe in the future utilize the ideas in this thread about finding time, and dropping the game like its nothing when she wants to chill.

Thanks so much guys, jeez support goes such a long way...I felt like a crappy partner, but I treat her great and she does to me as well. Just this one hiccup.

Love you all, srsly Mara guide you

CasNation · March 2017

darthsithis wrote: »

CasNation wrote: »

I took a break from ESO recently to play some single player games. When you are in a relationship, I noticed there was a big difference between your SO coming in wanting you attention and saying "I'm in a trial, give me between 20 min and 2 hours" vs. "Sure, what'what's up? <hits pause button>".

Your point is clear, and you're my hero. U get it my dude.

She's not materialistic we are in love, she just hates the whole 'lemme finish this trial, it's a p.u.g. But I'm sure it won't last 4 hours' and then it does lmao.

I feel better already. It's just a game, break will be nice.

Glad I could help. To answer your original question of "Will it fade?", yes it does.

But be mindful of exactly what you feel you are missing out on in ESO and what matters to you most. If you are sitting around thinking "man, I still need 10k tel var for that last piece of gear, I need to farm!" or "I am missing out on so many undaunted keys by not doing dailies!" then you need to recognize that those things don't matter. They are called skinner boxes and are designed explicitly to make you feel like you NEED to play.

However, you mention the people, community and other social aspects of the game as something you miss. These are valid, and you should try and identify some way to fill these gaps. Maybe pick a friend or two you really want to keep in touch with and play another game with them that doesn't demand so much time. Try Overwatch or Elder Scrolls Legends if those are your thing. They are still multiplayer, and will still have that "gimme 10 minutes honey" effect, but aren't going to take nearly as much time as organizing and running trials.

klowdy1 · March 2017

Not to sound mean, but if she plays any game for 6 hours at a time, and gets mad at you when you do the same, she sound like a high-maintenance attention hog. You can tell her to get over it, in a nicer fashion, do what she wants when she wants, or get rid of her. Those are the 3 outcomes of this relationship.

Sibenice · March 2017

darthsithis wrote: »

lnsane wrote: »

I was going to say that maybe, if you feel that you are addicted to a game, she has a point.

It doesn't interfere with anything in my life except her getting upset at it. That being said, I am addicted lol.

Just gonna uninstall it. There's always 'one more thing to do' but I see that never ends. Just gotta uninstall and move on for a bit.

I like the concept about a two way street. I don't mind her playing skyrim, and I think she hates eso because I do endgame stuff and 12 ppl can't wait on me or get screwed over cuz I left randomly. That's the biggest part I think. It's also the part of the game that hooks me the most lol...you know...the MMO part of it lol

As a woman I can tell you that she's being very selfish. Just because you're dating does not mean you have to give up what you enjoy doing provided you are able to allocate enough time for her. And you spending that time in a trial with people is no different than you going out with friends without her. Which, by the way, is a perfectly normal and healthy thing to do.

I get that you love her and want her to be happy. Clearly because you're willing to sit and watch her play single player games for about as long as you play for and you're willing to give up a game you love because she's unhappy. But it's a give and take. For a relationship to work she needs to be willing to compromise, allow you to have you time and be understanding. Because if she's not then she's just being selfish and controlling. And that's why people are saying dump her. Because someone who loves you wouldn't force you to give up something you enjoy.

rotaugen454 · March 2017

I sometimes use a gaming laptop so I can do the easy grind stuff while we watch tv. But the harder content requires my desktop. I also use that time to talk to my son, who is gaming on another computer in my library, so I found a way to bend ESO around my real life. The hardest part for my wife is that you can't pause online games.

Saturnana · March 2017

I hope you figure it all out in the end.

If uninstalling the game you love is what you're willing to do for this lady, then you, sir, are a true gentleman.
/tips hat

Rickter · March 2017

206 days 11 hours 14 minutes /played when i checked last

darthsithis · March 2017

Geez you're all so right- I need to just absorb this. And talk to her of course.

got some guild mates interested in overwatch, we will try that for now

Thanks again though guys, I'll check this thread tomorrow. Feel free to share your experiences with dating and eso still tho!

Saturnana · March 2017

darthsithis wrote: »

Geez you're all so right- I need to just absorb this. And talk to her of course.

got some guild mates interested in overwatch, we will try that for now

Thanks again though guys, I'll check this thread tomorrow. Feel free to share your experiences with dating and eso still tho!

Just want to add as a final note that compromising in a relationship is a healthy and adult thing to do. I applaud you for it. Just make sure that it's not only you who's doing the compromising, remember the two-way street.

Hand_Bacon · March 2017

The first step to recovery is recognizing...

ESO takes up all my gaming time and has for some time. I wish it didn't at times and I could just kick it and move on to the games my friends' are enjoying, but I'm not there yet. Maybe cold turkey.

CountEdmondDantes · March 2017

I find this discussion way too familiar. I've played computer games for years, and both my daughter and son play games. I teach at an American university and many of my students play games. I recall having a discussion last summer with one of my students about the addictive nature of XCOM2. Yes, it's addictive. No, you cannot have an extension on your paper.

You say you're a straight A student? That's quite an achievement for someone who games as much as you state you do. Maybe it's the curriculum at the University where I teach, but a student would have a hard time completing the coursework necessary to maintain a straight A (4.0) GPA while playing games for 40+ hours a week. But giving you the benefit of the doubt, your GPA suggests you have interests outside of games. Isn't there some part of your studies that would hold your interest while providing you with a diversion from games?

I'll admit my children thought I was a tyrant while they were growing up. Two hours a day, after homework. No more. Yes, I took hard drives out of computers and locked up consoles. "But Dad, I need a computer to do my homework!" Too bad, should have thought about that before you broke the rules.

Was it the best parenting decision? I don't know. Both my children went to college. My daughter is married, about to have her first child, and now plays for about four to six hours a day, because she's working part-time from home. My son struggled. I suspect that as soon as he hit college, he started gaming a lot. Keeping it real: he paid the consequences. It took him two years and a lot of extra work to get back to where he wanted to be. And while he's never told me I was right, I'm proud that he's realized what a time-suck games can be and now sets an alarm on his iPhone when he sits down to play.

All this comes in the form of an answer to your original question: can you stop? Surely. But it might require recognizing there are more important things than games. (I will NEVER forget the student who asked for an extension on a project so she could binge watch Game of Thrones. No, just no.). While many of my students play video games, and we enjoy discussing them, most realize games have a time and a place. I've had students tell me they are not taking classes or doing internships over the summer because they want to catch up on games. It's about priorities.

As to your girlfriend: My own Dad used to say there's more fish in the sea. It may be time to go fishing.

Eshja · March 2017

Hey, me and my fiance are addicted to games too. And I think a good reletionship of no-lifes is choosing the one game and play it together. We checked some games, chose the ambience of game we like (fantasy, but not high cause he hates it [and he plays altmer, isn't that strange? xD]), we reject some games which needed too much time for play and voila! We play eso for about 2 years with a little break. We aren't complaining about not spending time together - he goes with me on trials, I go with him to pvp. Also I still have time to study cause I'm able not to log in for a week or longer and it won't change anythig.

Btw, if you still want to play eso try this way: don't start a day turning on eso, leave your PC (or else), eat a breakfeast with her, go for a walk or whatever you like doing together. Spend a day with her. Then play eso. You won't have 7 hours, you will have your eso and your gf'll be happy.
^I mean weekends, cause you work, but try to use this proportion to spend 3/4 of free time with girlfriend/friends/etc., 1/4 for eso. maybe it'll work. And good luck

Paulington · March 2017

darthsithis wrote: »

My sorc has 170 days logged

matthew-mcconaughey-wolf-of-wall-street-you-gotta-pump-those-numbers-up-those-are-rookie-numbers.jpg

CMFan1966 · March 2017

As a female, a former Skyrim junkie and current ESO addict, I'm going to give you my 2 cents. If she is playing Skyrim for hours at a time, but she has a problem with you being on ESO for that same amount of time, that isn't fair. If you share a gaming system, that's even more unfair. If you aren't sharing a gaming system, then I'd play ESO while she is playing Skyrim.

Another thing I would do is set up 'date night'. A day or evening when you just spend time together doing something you both enjoy and devote time and attention only to each other. It doesn't have to be a night out. Cook dinner together. Have a picnic in the park. Take a walk and hold hands. Do something that's just about the two of you and has nothing to do with gaming. I was with my husband for 22 years before he passed away. No matter how much I loved playing games and he loved sports of any kind, we always found time for each other...even if it was only for 5 minutes at a time.

Sausage · March 2017

You should be happy you're only addicted to a online game, its cheap and easily accessible.

DeadlyRecluse · March 2017

I try to only do "social" things on eso 1-3 nights a week, which my wife knows about in advance. I may play other times, but it's informal or solo stuff I can stop at any time.

Setting up clearish schedules for the open-ended "finish this trial/run this PVP group stuff" works well for us, as she knows I'm available more or less constantly except for a few times--and even then, I run with a decent sort of people who don't mind if I need to afk to clean baby poop/vomit up or bring my wife some water.

Gilvoth · March 2017

my name is dwemer_paleologist, and i am addicted to eso.

Stania · March 2017

Okay, I understand the following (in my poor english):
Your girlfriend gets pissed because you spend the same time playing a videogame as her, and wants you to quit it, to pay attention to her?

If I'm correct, dude, as a woman and I can tell you something: That's manipulation and selfishness.

If the gal really craves your attention she can set aside some of her playing time to spend it with you too, instead of just expecting YOU to give up your hobby so you'd be available when she's tired of playing.

I don't know your girlfriend, but something tends to happen with women who start like this. If the boyfriend doesn't set limits now and just agree to do whatever she wants, she'll eventually seek to be in complete control of his time and other things like friendships. This happened to two former friends (with whom I used to play videogames).

I'm certainly not an expert of romantic relationships, but that's something that require a compromise from both parts. You two can reduce your playtime to spend it together, your girlfriend will be satisfied (I hope) and you'll be able to keep doing what you love.

vamp_emily · March 2017

Tylos001 wrote: »

My GF did the same to me! I said to her play for an hour and if you still don't want me to play ill give it up! She is now CP 450 on her Nightblade

I think you should try this OP.

yodased · March 2017

Coming from someone who has been with a non-gamer wife for 15 years, this isn't an issue with you playing a video game.

Obviously she understands the time-travel effect that games have and can sink hour upon hour into it.

The thing to test here to see if this is an irrational and hypocritical reaction to you gaming is to play a single player game within the same time frame you play ESO.

I believe this is a jealousy issue with you spending more time with people rather than a game. Remember you are choosing 11 people on the internet over her, not a video game.

The real issue comes from your choice of people over your girlfriend, not the game.

rotaugen454 · March 2017

yodased wrote: »

Coming from someone who has been with a non-gamer wife for 15 years, this isn't an issue with you playing a video game.

Obviously she understands the time-travel effect that games have and can sink hour upon hour into it.

The thing to test here to see if this is an irrational and hypocritical reaction to you gaming is to play a single player game within the same time frame you play ESO.

I believe this is a jealousy issue with you spending more time with people rather than a game. Remember you are choosing 11 people on the internet over her, not a video game.

The real issue comes from your choice of people over your girlfriend, not the game.

Spooky, I have been married to my non-gamer wife for 15 years too.

N0TPLAYER2 · March 2017

Lose the girl, play all the eso you want

Waffennacht · March 2017

The definition of an addiction is where your life suffers (financially, medically, etc) because of what you're giving up to continue said activity.

If there are no draw backs, you aren't "addicted" lol

That being said, in the same boat, however my gf is more like, "stop playing video games and come watch tv with me" at which point im like, "...?"

psychotic13 · March 2017

Waffennacht wrote: »

The definition of an addiction is where your life suffers (financially, medically, etc) because of what you're giving up to continue said activity.

If there are no draw backs, you aren't "addicted" lol

That being said, in the same boat, however my gf is more like, "stop playing video games and come watch tv with me" at which point im like, "...?"

That's what my partners like, i don't want to watch your BS reality tv programs leave me in tamriel!

Though I do love a good TV series, iron fist is good watched it all already now though

Woopy · March 2017

Game addiction is very real! I had it really heavily with my last MMO because it was such an amazing game, and so much of (my) money was invested into it that I couldn't just let it go. My best advice is game-hopping. Get your mind off ESO by trying out several different games and playing them very VERY casually. Eventually you'll fade out of the hardcore ESO urge and maybe even not think of it at all most of the time.

It helps to go out, too.. and live life and do things that you like to do in the real world. Not saying you don't already.. but just adding that in there as a reminder.