Addicted to eso

psychotic13

Furinol wrote: »

Tough stuff,

Gaming addictions are very real. My engagement and my role as main tank for raid guild in WoW were at odds at one point in time.

The problem lied with me - whether I wanted to admit it at the time or not.

I'm married now with an amazing two year old son - and I almost lost this due to some pixels.

My advice:

Brutal self honesty - when you shut off the game how do you feel? Anxious? Maybe a little punchy? When you are with your girlfriend are you thinking of the game or does she have your undivided attention?

At the end of the day - be able to identify your *** as your ***.

Excuses like:
At least I'm not at the bar drinking
I'm not cheating on you!
I'm not spending money!

are all garbage if you are spending hours in your game while the person you love is watching tv by themselves.

FWIW - I don't play any games while my son is up - I'd rather play with him.

When he goes to bed if my wife is doing something I will play ESO. If my wife goes to bed early I will likely play an hour or so before I go.

I also wake up very early so usually have an hour or two before the family is up on the weekends.

I will not be an accomplished "anything" in ESO anytime soon - but I wouldn't trade my real success for virtual success either.

Best of luck.

Bruhhhh, that one works everytime

darthsithis

Stopnaggin wrote: »

darthsithis wrote: »

^touche, a valid argument.

Ur kinda right just don't wanna admit that.

But I CAN say that if something causes a rift, it just has to go. i really was addicted tho, had such a hard time turning the damn Xbox off even at like 6am. This game really clicked with me. Maybe mmo's are just like that, I feel like it is designed to be addictive and then prey on that while giving you a sense of great accomplishment haha

It's all about balance, she needs your time and you both need time to do other things. You can not be stuck together 24/7, I don't care how much you love someone, they will drive you crazy. I get home from work, me and the wife chat for about an hour, I play ESO for a couple of hours while she watches her lifetime movies. The we watch something together before we go to bed.

You have to balance your time, I also get up early on Saturdays before everyone else in the house and run trials with a group of friends, same time every Saturday. You can still get your fix, and honestly she needs to let you get your fix. Everyone needs an escape from time to time. As others have suggested get her to play, if she likes Skyrim, this should be right up her alley.

Side note though, all relationships are a compromise, she shouldn't be too demanding if she also plays video games. Just food for thought.

This I take to heart. Thank you.

darthsithis

Furinol wrote: »

Tough stuff,

Gaming addictions are very real. My engagement and my role as main tank for raid guild in WoW were at odds at one point in time.

The problem lied with me - whether I wanted to admit it at the time or not.

I'm married now with an amazing two year old son - and I almost lost this due to some pixels.

My advice:

Brutal self honesty - when you shut off the game how do you feel? Anxious? Maybe a little punchy? When you are with your girlfriend are you thinking of the game or does she have your undivided attention?

At the end of the day - be able to identify your *** as your ***.

Excuses like:
At least I'm not at the bar drinking
I'm not cheating on you!
I'm not spending money!

are all garbage if you are spending hours in your game while the person you love is watching tv by themselves.

FWIW - I don't play any games while my son is up - I'd rather play with him.

When he goes to bed if my wife is doing something I will play ESO. If my wife goes to bed early I will likely play an hour or so before I go.

I also wake up very early so usually have an hour or two before the family is up on the weekends.

I will not be an accomplished "anything" in ESO anytime soon - but I wouldn't trade my real success for virtual success either.

Best of luck.

thank you for sharing, this is incredibly valuable and motivating.

rotaugen454

Furinol wrote: »

Tough stuff,

Gaming addictions are very real. My engagement and my role as main tank for raid guild in WoW were at odds at one point in time.

The problem lied with me - whether I wanted to admit it at the time or not.

I'm married now with an amazing two year old son - and I almost lost this due to some pixels.

My advice:

Brutal self honesty - when you shut off the game how do you feel? Anxious? Maybe a little punchy? When you are with your girlfriend are you thinking of the game or does she have your undivided attention?

At the end of the day - be able to identify your *** as your ***.

Excuses like:
At least I'm not at the bar drinking
I'm not cheating on you!
I'm not spending money!

are all garbage if you are spending hours in your game while the person you love is watching tv by themselves.

FWIW - I don't play any games while my son is up - I'd rather play with him.

When he goes to bed if my wife is doing something I will play ESO. If my wife goes to bed early I will likely play an hour or so before I go.

I also wake up very early so usually have an hour or two before the family is up on the weekends.

I will not be an accomplished "anything" in ESO anytime soon - but I wouldn't trade my real success for virtual success either.

Best of luck.

This is one of the best posts I have seen on this subject. For all the "tough guys" who claim they can maintain a "loving" relationship with no boundaries to how much game time they have, there are those who realize that relationships (especially married with kids) are a compromise. It isn't about ME, it is about US. It is really easy to find yourself spending way too much time gaming, as it is a lot of fun and quite frankly addictive. Setting boundaries up front will save a lot of frustration down the road. When I started playing ESO, I put in WAY too many hours. My wife would complain,then I checked the /played stats on all my characters and realized it had turned into a part time job, on top of my normal 55 hour work week. We set times for when I go online, assuming no real life important things come up. She uses that time for TV, hobbies, or her Real Estate work (which is kind of a 24/7 job as you never know when someone will call). My son games at the same pub table I use for my gaming computers in my library, so we use that time to talk.

darthsithis

Anyways, I am done with eso. As I said before, I was never struggling with whether to quit or not. Some people think I've been selfish and awful, but if that were the case would I be posting on here asking for support? No, I'd probably be playing eso silly. Thanks so much to those more mature and experienced than I, as a healthy relationship is something I cherish, and ESO can burn for all I care when I think of her. Let her play skyrim, if eso bugs her then it bugs her, and I can live with that. Im happy to watch her experience tamriel the way she likes best, and in a way where it belongs to us- devoid of social obligations and gameplay demands that isolate us from both each other and the real world itself.

I cancelled my eso plus, and feel relieved. Don't need to buy morrowind haha. I feel encouraged by the people who have experienced similar situations, and appreciated those used tasteful irony like "she doesn't deserve how you treat her, and you should be single" to subtly reiterate that giving up an addictive game aptly demonstrates how my priorities are in the right place, and that making a mistake is does not negate an entire relationship. yeah.

I'm also going to stop checking the forums it makes it easier for me to not think about the game, and will free me from any mental commitment I may still have. So again, thank you guys, and if your situation in life allows, enjoy the hell out of tamriel!!! Peace, love, sorc master-class, AD forever, don't fast travel to grahtwood, guild dues are only suggestions. Muah!

Jitterbug

Violynne wrote: »

you put more into the game than you do her.

Giggedy

darthsithis

Jitterbug wrote: »

Violynne wrote: »

you put more into the game than you do her.

Giggedy

llloollll

ok srsly this is my last post.

Stopnaggin

darthsithis wrote: »

Anyways, I am done with eso. As I said before, I was never struggling with whether to quit or not. Some people think I've been selfish and awful, but if that were the case would I be posting on here asking for support? No, I'd probably be playing eso silly. Thanks so much to those more mature and experienced than I, as a healthy relationship is something I cherish, and ESO can burn for all I care when I think of her. Let her play skyrim, if eso bugs her then it bugs her, and I can live with that. Im happy to watch her experience tamriel the way she likes best, and in a way where it belongs to us- devoid of social obligations and gameplay demands that isolate us from both each other and the real world itself.

I cancelled my eso plus, and feel relieved. Don't need to buy morrowind haha. I feel encouraged by the people who have experienced similar situations, and appreciated those used tasteful irony like "she doesn't deserve how you treat her, and you should be single" to subtly reiterate that giving up an addictive game aptly demonstrates how my priorities are in the right place, and that making a mistake is does not negate an entire relationship. yeah.

I'm also going to stop checking the forums it makes it easier for me to not think about the game, and will free me from any mental commitment I may still have. So again, thank you guys, and if your situation in life allows, enjoy the hell out of tamriel!!! Peace, love, sorc master-class, AD forever, don't fast travel to grahtwood, guild dues are only suggestions. Muah!

Good luck, take a break for a while, come back after you get things sorted. You don't need to stop your hobbies, but keep them in check.

UrbanMonk

I was on the same boat as you till I decided to jump and look for other possibilities. And the biggest boost for that came from nowhere else but from within the game. Tx to ZOS for *** up their game and letting me straight up my priorities. It wasn't easy in the beginning, but eventually i did let go. Now a days i just come and check the forums for a bit once or twice in a week, I guess some part of me is still attached but eventually that will break off too. It feels like you got out of some addiction and when you look back and think about it, it seemed so childish but it was there for a fact and a bit still is.

Well I wish you luck and hopefully you'll eventually find something else more interesting to do with your time rather than spending hours/ days/ weeks/ months chasing for that one particular perfect build and gears.

...48 days and counting...

PS: don't ask for my gold- it's already donated to my guild...

KimberlyannKitsuragi

Molydeus wrote: »

Married with kids.

Sorry Moly I had to

bulbousb16_ESO

darthsithis wrote: »

rotaugen454 wrote: »

My wife despises this game. I remember posting on Facebook (before this game even launched) that it would probably be the cause of my getting divorced.

Did you get divorced lol? I'd choose her over a game. It is just a game...that I think about a ton lol.

I got divorced because of SWG. Then, SoE blew up the game anyway, so I was stuck with no wife and this unplayable crappy pale shadow of what SWG used to be...

Molydeus

Meri20098 wrote: »

Molydeus wrote: »

Married with kids.

Sorry Moly I had to

Jitterbug

Meri20098 wrote: »

Molydeus wrote: »

Married with kids.

Sorry Moly I had to

The dude on the right seriously looks like he's photobombing them

Duiwel

I don't have this problem...

notimetocare

Dont dump her for the game, dump her for your future. She sounds like a cancerous, entitled....

Mephilis78

Luckily for me, my wife likes to play too. We have two Xboxes, so it's not a big deal to play together.

As for stopping the urge to play eso....
Last month I decided to start playing Star Trek Online, and well, i jus started playing ESO again this week (because I was playing STO far too much) I had completely forgotten how much of Trekkie I am till i was piloting my own Exploration class Galaxy Retrofit. I played until i reached Vice Admiral with a brand new toon.

Once in awhile when my internet is down i can cure my hankering for ESO by playing TES: Arena on dosbox. I also have a pc version of Oblivion with all the twmp mods i could find (I can explore Skyrim, Vvardenfell [ Morroblivion], Highrock, Hammerfell, Elsweyr, and Valenwood).

BTW: anyone that is in to old skool games TES: Arena and TES: Daggerfall are both amazing games, and very addictive!

Torbschka

akl77 wrote: »

For me I don't call it addiction, when I have things to do, I do them first, but when I have spare time I have to play games to keep my mind occupied and get the creativity going, instead of letting your brain idle and rut.
My advice to you op is to do what you gotta do first, your gf, job, family etc, and gaming last. Just prioritise a bit.

Can just agree, furthermore, if its mode like this "u cant pause the game stuff", maybe pvp is for you. In cyrodiil nobody cares if u are immediateky afk.

Even if im playing with my friends, every1 of US is like " AFK for a moment", no matter we are in a fight or not.

GreenhaloX

Whoah.. will there be an actual ESO gamer needing real life therapy or intervention? Playing (adult-style) with a girlfriend is usually therapy for me and does keep me away from ESO, but, you.. you may need a new gf. Ha ha.

Zyrudin

darthsithis wrote: »

This is my first mmo. Got it opening day, got all the achievements (except master angler lol), and know a crap ton about the game. I LOVE the ppl, the gameplay, just the 'x-factor,' the satisfaction of a good build and rotation, never getting sharpened vma staves etc.

But my gf thinks I play too much, and kinda hates it. I stopped playing but think about it like A LOT.

Can someone make me feel better about cutting back/quitting? I really wanna farm tel var and check out ppls houses and duel them and be a raid leader.

My sorc has 170 days logged, maybe she's right idk. I'm just sad I think I loved this game, or at least got addicted to the gameplay and social atmosphere of likeminded ppl.

Someone make me feel better plz...why should I be glad eso won't be part of my life anymore?

Clothra

I'm addicted too. I've never been into MMOs. The other one that I played was Runes of Magic. I got quite far into it until I hit the pay-to-win wall.

Then in Aug 2017 I decided to give ESO a try and 3 months later I got ESO+. I play everyday for several hours. My wife doesn't mind as long as I don't neglect her and my duties.

In order to play I established a routine:
1. wake up at 5 am, do some ESO dailies then take the dogs for a walk (this give me a bit of exercise also)
2. get back at 7:30 am and do the dishes and some general cleaning
3. wife wakes up, I don't touch the computer.
4. get back home after work, if she's not home yet do some more ESO dailies, else help with whatever needs to be done.
5. at 8 pm we're on the couch, in front of the TV. She watches her shows and I play till 10 pm.

Weekends are different.

kypranb14_ESO

When I meet a girl with the intention of dating her, I lay my cards out on the table.

One of the last things i say, and one of the things I make sure to emphasize on is "If you make me choose between you or video games, I will choose video games every time as they will not ask me to choose."

I met my current girlfriend 4.5 years ago, and she doesn't know it yet.. BUT, we are getting engaged on Christmas.

Stovahkiin

I’ll take your girlfriend if that would solve your problem OP.

*looks around the room*

What?


*Edit* Oh dear, now I see that these were necro posts. Curse you, thread necromancers!

playerkiller247

You're not alone, bro! My whole family hates ESO they say I play way too much, but it's so damn fun I just can't quit it~

gabormezo

You shouldn't play 24/7 to enjoy this game. You should be with her 24/7 to enjoy her company. Combine that.

Huyen

darthsithis wrote: »

Milvan thank you...

I watch her play skyrim for 6 hour intervals, but she feels excluded when I eso.

I do have a life, great grades, but once a week I'll spend a few nights playing eso for 7 hours and it drives her nuts to the point where she's like 'no more'

I love and respect her so much that I did it, but now I'm on the forums, daydreaming of maelstrom of all things lol, and frustrated that other games are just meh in comparison.

Yeah gaming addict I'll admit it too.

I chose her (she's being a bit irrational honestly), and I am confident in that decision. Just wondering if the need or the longing gets better or not...

Some people collect stamps and are working on that 7 hours on some nights. You play a game. Either she learns to live with it, or she doesnt and goes back to being single. Same happend to me: she couldnt accept it (while my son likes to play games as well imo) so we split up. Now I'm living alone and I get to chose my own times when I play, without abandoning my duty's in real life (I got a dog too that needs attention). So be smart, and chose yourself in the end.

Edit: typos

Zbigb4life

Milvan wrote: »

I'm addicted to games as well, not only ESO tho, but MMORPG are my weakpoint indeed.

Did you stop playing solely because your partner told you to? This is kind abusive don't you think? You have your own individuality and you should keep it.

On the other side, if your gaming habits are really making you miss important stuff, you do need to cut back a little bit. You will feel better when you start to enjoy other things other than solely ESO.

My experience: I'm addicted to games as well, I can easily play 18 hours a day or 40 hours during weekends if I have a game that hook me up to. Tho, I'm a adult now with two kids, a career and also a wife and I don't want to miss that. I realized that I love them so much that they are the only reason that makes me stop gamming and enjoy life out there. It's not easy, but I do it because I don't want to miss real life, tho I still enjoy large doses of gaming after the kids and wife go to sleep.

TL;DR: Have your priorites, gaming can always wait, wife, kids and your career comes up (not necessarily in that order).

I am in exact the same situation as you. I to don't want to miss anything with my kids and wife.

Azurya

darthsithis wrote: »

This is my first mmo. Got it opening day, got all the achievements (except master angler lol), and know a crap ton about the game. I LOVE the ppl, the gameplay, just the 'x-factor,' the satisfaction of a good build and rotation, never getting sharpened vma staves etc.

But my gf thinks I play too much, and kinda hates it. I stopped playing but think about it like A LOT.

Can someone make me feel better about cutting back/quitting? I really wanna farm tel var and check out ppls houses and duel them and be a raid leader.

My sorc has 170 days logged, maybe she's right idk. I'm just sad I think I loved this game, or at least got addicted to the gameplay and social atmosphere of likeminded ppl.

Someone make me feel better plz...why should I be glad eso won't be part of my life anymore?

chose 2-3 days a week to play, such days your gf does a yogacourse or has girly-evening, that works for me.
sure if it was up to me I could play all day, but yeah, hell, there are other things to do as well, so give myself a kick and start doing those other things.
and then when your time is there to play eso, you enjoy it much more as before, I can tell you!

Betsararie

>stopping playing because of GF
>says they got all the achievements when nobody has and they definitely didn't get anywhere close to getting all of them

yup, regret coming here.

Billy2112

All these comments are wonderful. If you don't ever want to get laid again. I dont often comment on these forums but son if shes hinting that you are on the game "too much" means the lil kitten is lacking attention. SHUT the damn game off and see to it man! Then when shes good and tired after making you a sammich you can play in peaceful bliss listening to her wonderful soft snores

(this advice brought to you by-Dos Equis)

SaRuZ

Honestly, too much of this game is toxic. Not all games, just this one. When it is stressful and feels like a chore, it's time to stop. I left in March and came back a few weeks ago and I am already burnt out again. When you let go of the 'need' you realize how silly it was logging in everyday to do dailies. When I look back at the end of last year and beginning of 2017, It feels like a waste of time. I farmed every time I played to save up 3 million for housing, that's what killed it for me.

I enjoy the game, in small doses. Just be careful, this is time you will never get back and all games have an ending, MMO's don't. There will always be one more thing to do and once I reach level cap(540 atm) Game is going on the shelf for a very, very long time.

Even the last few days I found myself so damn miserable playing it again. Screaming at the tv over lag in Cyrodiil and UI bugs when I tried to view my inventory. An applied burning effect with 49710 days left? Lol. A game shouldn't make you want to quit video games altogether. So I took it out and started up one of those Games with Gold freebies on Xbox, Warhammer- End Times; Vermintide, I haven't had so much fun with a game in a long time, mostly due to how angry ESO made me today.

When it begins affecting you emotionally, it's time to stop. MMO's are very addictive, it's proven they are addictive as alcohol and cocain. It can be just as detrimental on your family and lifestyle. Take care of yourself.