Guilds as safe spaces

Rohamad_Ali · March 2017

OpponentSmile66 wrote: »

Mephisto939 wrote: »

ZOS_BillE wrote: »

We've removed some comments for becoming political and some for baiting. Please keep the forum rules in mind when posting and try to keep the conversation constructive.

Thank you for removing my comments and making the forum a truly safe space. Someone almost got a feeling hurt.

Anyone remember my comment regarding censorship?

I got censorship too . Guess it's not ok to let people know ZoS is an US company . Although I'm not exactly sure why . Oh well someone got upset an there's no point in arguing . Who ever I offended , my apologies .

DocFrost72 · March 2017

Little column A, little column B. I'm a social chameleon, so I can deal with both crowds equally well. If my guild asks me not to say/do something, I respect it or leave because that's managing myself like an adult

OP, you've every right to find like minded individuals or even form a guild containing them. That, and grats on how you handled the situation. Blowing up in /guild typically doesn't work (seen that a few times).

danno8 · March 2017

OpponentSmile66 wrote: »

Mephisto939 wrote: »

ZOS_BillE wrote: »

We've removed some comments for becoming political and some for baiting. Please keep the forum rules in mind when posting and try to keep the conversation constructive.

Thank you for removing my comments and making the forum a truly safe space. Someone almost got a feeling hurt.

Anyone remember my comment regarding censorship?

Their forums, their rules.

Besides they host these forums for ESO topics, not complex discussions about human interactions. Honestly surprised this thread isn't closed yet.

KochDerDamonen · March 2017

Rohamad_Ali wrote: »

OpponentSmile66 wrote: »

Mephisto939 wrote: »

ZOS_BillE wrote: »

We've removed some comments for becoming political and some for baiting. Please keep the forum rules in mind when posting and try to keep the conversation constructive.

Thank you for removing my comments and making the forum a truly safe space. Someone almost got a feeling hurt.

Anyone remember my comment regarding censorship?

I got censorship too . Guess it's not ok to let people know ZoS is an US company . Although I'm not exactly sure why . Oh well someone got upset an there's no point in arguing . Who ever I offended , my apologies .

@Rohamad_Ali I mean, I'm surprised they entirely removed some of your posts and not the entirety of mine quoted there. It was all pretty off-topic. Should be about levels of moderation in guild chat, eh?

GreenhaloX · March 2017

RABIDxWOLVERINE wrote: »

People should get tough skin. Everyone is to easily offended to the point where if you have a different opinion then them it causes them to be offended. That's ridiculous if you don't like someones opinion ignore it. That's the great thing about opinions, everyone has one and no one has to listen to it.

I love it when someone always say.. "Have tougher skin", "Suck it up." It is so pretentious. It is not weakness to dislike what others are saying or doing, or to get offended. It is all human nature. Tough skin is not part of human nature. Everybody are entitled to their opinion and to voice it or to complain or rant about something. Sure, you can just ignore anyone or anything, but not everyone can do such so readily. Plus, ignoring stuff is not always the best option and doesn't help fix whatever issue or concern. You can say you have tough skin all you want and can take criticism or able to ignore badgering or negative comments, but everyone has a breaking point. ESO is a fine game, and enjoyable, but, unfortunately, there are just people/players doing and saying less-than-positive things, to make it not so enjoyable sometime. Nobody should have to deal with any experience they feel are negative. So, they come and voice their frustration and opinion on his forum.. fine, it's a way to vent and for them to find somewhat of a relief.

Katahdin · March 2017

The poll is immaterial.

The guild leadership of each guild decides the atmosphere and environment they want to have in the guild.

If you don't agree or can't live with their philosophy and rules or lack thereof, the guild is not for you.

Prof_Bawbag · March 2017

If you're in a large guild, that's around 500 people right there and as such not everyone is gonna get along. Just as it is in real life. Seen some bickering, but it usually passes over as it should. Anything anyone can throw at me, I've had worse said to my face by people who actually matter. It's all water off a duck's back. By the same token, I don't tend to get offended on behalf of others.

What annoys me most in guilds are when people ask for help or state they're struggling and you get the same 1 or 2 people piping up with something like "Lmao, it's easy" etc and they never ever offer any advice or help in any form. They just sit there making out they're a gaming demigod at every opportunity they're given.

For example, a noob states he's struggling to make gold and asks how best to make aforementioned gold, guild badass simply states "making gold is easy lol lmao, lol, lol, lol". I can't wrap my head around why anyone would respond to such a comment if that's all they had to say. No one cares if it's easy or how badass they are, especially those asking for advice. Those are the people who I'd happily boot from a guild.

JKorr · March 2017

Browiseth wrote: »

it works both ways, you should feel free to speak your mind whenever you want without having to worry about someone's precious feelings, but at the same time expect people to react differently to what you say

people do need to stop being so sensitive though. i never speak in guildchat anymore because of that reason; i can recall a time someone was asking for help because they kept dying, and i suggested that they probably need to get better at the game

i was shot down and called a troll because i dared imply someone was less skilled at the game than me, and that's just rude

apparently

Let's see...

"I am having a horrible time killing the boss in quest X. I keep dying over and over. Can someone give me a hand?"

GIT GUD AND L2P.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2nd try:
"I am having a horrible time killing the boss in quest X. I keep dying over and over. Can someone give me a hand?"

Is you gear repaired? Have you outleveled your weapons? Are you using food or drinks for stat boosts? Is there an attack the boss uses that you might be able to block? Are you using poisons? There are crafters in the guild who can help with some of this, and if you are still having problems someone might be able to give you a hand.

Gee. I can't imagine why someone would take a "learn to play" comment as possible trolling/boorish/tool behavior. /sarcasm

There are ways of answering someone that won't instantly make you look like a troll. In guild chat, if my first impulse is to say "You can't beat X? What on Nirn are you doing?" I don't use my first impulsive reply. If I think the request is really ridiculous, I just don't reply. Otherwise I do try to be a mature adult in my responses. And yes, my guild chats can get rather interesting, and fun, especially when one guildie has a strange phobis about slaughterfish.....

rotaugen454 · March 2017

Personally, I would only use "potentially offensive" jokes with someone I know WELL and in private chat, not broadcast for everyone. But I'm old, and think about how what I say affects others. 20 year old me was a different person, and had to learn a lot of things the hard way.

Milvan · March 2017

Internet anonimity does brings up the worst of ourselves out. Tho people forget that you can be honest and speak your mind in a educated and respectful manner.

Here's a very educational music video about negativity that you may send and recieve on your daily basis.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHg50mdODFM

Paincake · March 2017

GreenhaloX wrote: »

RABIDxWOLVERINE wrote: »

People should get tough skin. Everyone is to easily offended to the point where if you have a different opinion then them it causes them to be offended. That's ridiculous if you don't like someones opinion ignore it. That's the great thing about opinions, everyone has one and no one has to listen to it.

I love it when someone always say.. "Have tougher skin", "Suck it up." It is so pretentious. It is not weakness to dislike what others are saying or doing, or to get offended. It is all human nature. Tough skin is not part of human nature. Everybody are entitled to their opinion and to voice it or to complain or rant about something. Sure, you can just ignore anyone or anything, but not everyone can do such so readily.

If you can't handle what someone is saying, you have maturity issues IMO. It's words; nothing more, nothing less. Why do they care what others say or think so much? Are egos and self esteem really this fragile now?

Nobody should have to deal with any experience they feel are negative.

Seriously? Wow. Life is really going to hurt for anyone who believes this.

Mephisto939 · March 2017

Paincake wrote: »

Nobody should have to deal with any experience they feel are negative.

Seriously? Wow. Life is really going to hurt for anyone who believes this.

Are you insinuating that life is not one big safe space with kittens to cuddle? Please stop sir! You are triggering me.

MusekininKanchou · March 2017

"Safe Spaces" is my Trigger word.

Browiseth · March 2017

JKorr wrote: »

Browiseth wrote: »

it works both ways, you should feel free to speak your mind whenever you want without having to worry about someone's precious feelings, but at the same time expect people to react differently to what you say

people do need to stop being so sensitive though. i never speak in guildchat anymore because of that reason; i can recall a time someone was asking for help because they kept dying, and i suggested that they probably need to get better at the game

i was shot down and called a troll because i dared imply someone was less skilled at the game than me, and that's just rude

apparently

Let's see...

"I am having a horrible time killing the boss in quest X. I keep dying over and over. Can someone give me a hand?"

GIT GUD AND L2P.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2nd try:
"I am having a horrible time killing the boss in quest X. I keep dying over and over. Can someone give me a hand?"

Is you gear repaired? Have you outleveled your weapons? Are you using food or drinks for stat boosts? Is there an attack the boss uses that you might be able to block? Are you using poisons? There are crafters in the guild who can help with some of this, and if you are still having problems someone might be able to give you a hand.

Gee. I can't imagine why someone would take a "learn to play" comment as possible trolling/boorish/tool behavior. /sarcasm

There are ways of answering someone that won't instantly make you look like a troll. In guild chat, if my first impulse is to say "You can't beat X? What on Nirn are you doing?" I don't use my first impulsive reply. If I think the request is really ridiculous, I just don't reply. Otherwise I do try to be a mature adult in my responses. And yes, my guild chats can get rather interesting, and fun, especially when one guildie has a strange phobis about slaughterfish.....

@JKorr you are operating on the assumption i presented my suggestion that way

it was more along the lines of "you might need to learn the basics of the game if you're having this much trouble with menial tasks like this, i reccomend watching videos/reading guides"

i'm also just sick of people disregarding the possibility they may be bad at the game, so it's my first suggestion. people throw out excuses like "i need better gear" or "i need a better build" when really, they're just bad at the game. it's a bad mentality to keep, always just assuming you're the best at the game and if something's wrong it's not an issue with personal skill

but no, please try and misconstrue this. i'm eagerly anticipating how you continue the argument

Rohamad_Ali · March 2017

KochDerDamonen wrote: »

Rohamad_Ali wrote: »

OpponentSmile66 wrote: »

Mephisto939 wrote: »

ZOS_BillE wrote: »

We've removed some comments for becoming political and some for baiting. Please keep the forum rules in mind when posting and try to keep the conversation constructive.

Thank you for removing my comments and making the forum a truly safe space. Someone almost got a feeling hurt.

Anyone remember my comment regarding censorship?

I got censorship too . Guess it's not ok to let people know ZoS is an US company . Although I'm not exactly sure why . Oh well someone got upset an there's no point in arguing . Who ever I offended , my apologies .

@Rohamad_Ali I mean, I'm surprised they entirely removed some of your posts and not the entirety of mine quoted there. It was all pretty off-topic. Should be about levels of moderation in guild chat, eh?

Yeah lol . Oh well , what can you do right . I thought the topic was off but relative still and no one was offending me so , whatever .

paulsimonps · March 2017

ALL THE CRUDE JOKES!

Zinaroth · March 2017

Rohamad_Ali wrote: »

OpponentSmile66 wrote: »

Mephisto939 wrote: »

ZOS_BillE wrote: »

We've removed some comments for becoming political and some for baiting. Please keep the forum rules in mind when posting and try to keep the conversation constructive.

Thank you for removing my comments and making the forum a truly safe space. Someone almost got a feeling hurt.

Anyone remember my comment regarding censorship?

I got censorship too . Guess it's not ok to let people know ZoS is an US company . Although I'm not exactly sure why . Oh well someone got upset an there's no point in arguing . Who ever I offended , my apologies .

That's not at all what you said though - but no reason to bring it up again. We both got "safe space'd".

Just wanted to let you know that it wasn't me - so someone else must've been on a crusade.

Callous2208 · March 2017

I don't go out of my way to be overtly offensive, but I also refuse to live my life worried that every time I open my mouth, some soft skinned snowflake is gonna take offense and be emotionally distraught. It's the same for the guilds I'm in and their chat. Being so easily offended or even emotionally scarred by differing opinions and mere words is such a ridiculous and modern phenomenon. A side affect of the modern comfort and relative safety we enjoy.

CountEdmondDantes · March 2017

As someone who has taught American university students for over 20 years, I feel as if I'm immune to the stupid things people can say (or write). It makes ignoring zone chat and, in some cases, guild chat a lot easier.

I don't think you don't need a poll for this. Guilds are a voluntary association. If one person in your guild says something they think is funny but others find offensive (the one-off comment), then those who are offended can either leave the guild or ignore them. If the person who made the comment doesn't get the response they want, then they can find a group of like-minded people to hang out with.

If leaders of the guild believe it's a problem, then they can take action or create some guild by-laws of acceptable standards. But this begins to feel a lot like work. And really, you can't define your guild by one person or created a standard for everyone based on a poll. People want different things from a guild and if you don't like one guild, move on. There are dozens of guilds.

Another point to keep in mind: many guilds have been around for years. They have an established social community. Breaking into that community, gaining social acceptance and becoming part of that group, may take a bit, particularly if the others in the group have known each other for a long time. If you really want to be part of the guild, you're probably going to have meet their accepted social standards.

MarrazzMist · March 2017

Different guilds for different preferences, I guess. My guild is always respectful, and kindness is appreciated. That's how I like it in real life too.

phileunderx2 · March 2017

I was in a guild that the guild leader would post some offensive statements. .stuff that I didn't agree with but I stayed in for some time until I had an opportunity to join a bigger better trade guild so making the decision to drop a guild was quite easy.

NobleNerd · March 2017

Seriously?

In guilds like in real life people need to use some common courtesy, manners and self control.

Over the years I have managed a few guilds, had my issues and one thing I do not tolerate (ever) is people being rude and mean (no matter the topic) for no reason! Players will get upset and topics will come up that offend another player, but if it continues or is brought up to purposely upset another guild member then I have zero tolerance for bad manners.

This whole "safe space" issue where we are afraid to speak our mind on topics because someone might take offense has become a massive overblown issue. Sometimes you just suck it up and move one! This is what happens when we start giving out participation trophies... we get a bunch of pansies that take offense to everything.

vamp_emily · March 2017

My guild is a safe zone for friendly players

I personally treat everyone in the guild with respect. If for some reason I say something and someone takes it the wrong way I will apologize and change the subject.

There was a time that someone in the guild ( cough cough a member of the ESO forum ) that acted up and made a few members upset. I wasn't there and I don't know what happened but I removed him from the guild. It was a form of "Time Out" until I could speak to him. Well he is back with us and now we are a happy family.

Guilds = Safe Zones
Zone Chat = Get a little crazy

Rickter · March 2017

This is a tough question. and it all boils down to the guild's leadership. Any guild worth its salt would have a charter or code of conduct or some kind of list of acceptable or unacceptable behavior. I suggest you read over that information and it will give you an idea of what the community is like. Thats your basis on deciding whether that community will be a good fit for you or not.

When something like that happens in the guild, dont let your emotions take over. Its hard and im not saying im setting the example, but assess whether or not the code of conduct was violated and theis will give you an idea of who was in the wrong. If you find that your friend or yourself are in the right, then approach leadership. If leadership refuses to help or sides with the wrongful party - well then its time to move on.

because ultimately, Guilds are private communities. The only obligation is to abide by ZOS' ToS and you know, the law. outside of that - its House Rules.

Giraffon · March 2017

One of the perks of being "Speechless" is that we aren't plugged into microphones. Members have to use guild chat. The extra time it takes to type something out gives the "in brain filters" a chance to do their job.

I like to keep it around PG-13 rated in guild chat. Some members have their kids playing/watching. I want them to feel like they can leave guild chat up on the screen and not have to worry about what is being said.

AhPook_Is_Here · March 2017

There is obviously some happy medium where people can speak with candor but thoughtfully, and hyper-sensitive people won't explode from opinions that differ from theirs.

Cherryblossom · March 2017

Mephisto939 wrote: »

ZOS_BillE wrote: »

We've removed some comments for becoming political and some for baiting. Please keep the forum rules in mind when posting and try to keep the conversation constructive.

Thank you for removing my comments and making the forum a truly safe space. Someone almost got a feeling hurt.

This wouldn't be so funny if it wasn't true, two warning I've got are based on Jokes I made in threads, none of which were targeted at someone. Censorship is live and well.

Kalante · March 2017

In my guild people can say anything except their RMT talk which i do not tolerate, they can do it somewhere else i am not in the business of getting my guild or my character getting banned for just a few million gold and psn cards because somebody is butthurt and wants to MLG rage quit the game by selling all their stuff.

Woeler · March 2017

Being offended is a choice. Kappa.

Foxic · March 2017

NobleNerd wrote: »

Seriously?

In guilds like in real life people need to use some common courtesy, manners and self control.

Over the years I have managed a few guilds, had my issues and one thing I do not tolerate (ever) is people being rude and mean (no matter the topic) for no reason! Players will get upset and topics will come up that offend another player, but if it continues or is brought up to purposely upset another guild member then I have zero tolerance for bad manners.

This whole "safe space" issue where we are afraid to speak our mind on topics because someone might take offense has become a massive overblown issue. Sometimes you just suck it up and move one! This is what happens when we start giving out participation trophies... we get a bunch of pansies that take offense to everything.

Who are you to dictate how myself or my guildies act? Before someone joins the guild we make full well they understand the level of dark and socially unacceptable chat we have. It's what we all enjoy.

There is a time and place for being well mannered and respectful and there is a time and place to talk and joke the way you want with like minded people.