My fave, bad Zeni support response

Reverb · September 2016

I don't think very highly of zeni support. And because I don't expect much from them, I am amused rather than irritated at how they handle tickets. It's like watching a baby learn to feed himself, and fumble Cheerios all over the place with his chubby little fingers. And so it is with good humor that I tell my tale.

The people of Cyrodiil have been very sneaky the last few weeks, hiding A handful of Mage's Guild lore books underneath beds and dressers. You can see their glow from under the furniture, but you cannot access or read the books.

After doing a "is it just me?" check, confirming in zone and guilds chats that other people are having this problem too, and that no one has reported it, I decided to open a ticket Surely this is the kind of thing they want to know about, right?

I provided details about Lore books being under furniture and inaccessible. I included the book name and location for one example. I got the following response:

Greetings!

Thank you for contacting The Elder Scrolls Online Team. I’m sorry to hear that you’re experiencing an issue.

We are not able to restore items that were destroyed or deconstructed.

However, in some cases we are able to restore destroyed Crown Store or Imperial Edition bonus items. If you have destroyed a Crown Store or Imperial Edition item and would like to have it restored, please reply to this email with any additional information on the loss and I will investigate further.

I laughed out loud. Literally, out loud. I would like to thank Zeni for adding comedy to what was an otherwise dreary Monday morning.

Thelon · September 2016

decent

WalksonGraves · September 2016

"Thank you for contacting The Elder Scrolls Online: Tamriel Unlimited Team! It’s always a pleasure to hear from you! I am sorry to hear about the trouble you are having. Never fear however, as I can assure you that we will do our best to help you try and solve this issue.

Along with those pesky mudcrabs it appears that Sheogorath has come along and unleashed some sort of trickery, causing this issue. We apologize that this has caused your crafted potions to not have the desired effect.

At this current time there is no solution for this, but we are woking dilligently to find one."

Honestly if they spent half as much time trying to help instead of this prepackaged RP [SNIP]. The started with the old "we didn't read your ticket but wd can't replace items so sol.".

[Edited For Profanity]

Rohamad_Ali · September 2016

Warm Regards ,

Chet

Suter1972 · September 2016

is this not a little like complaining the food in a restaurant tastes bad, so the chef takes it back, spits in it and sends it back out.

if you want a ticket/issue resolving then raising it on a forum (the companies own one at that!) is sure way to continue getting random support replies

Wreuntzylla · September 2016

Suter1972 wrote: »

is this not a little like complaining the food in a restaurant tastes bad, so the chef takes it back, spits in it and sends it back out.

if you want a ticket/issue resolving then raising it on a forum (the companies own one at that!) is sure way to continue getting random support replies

You must be new to these forums. If the issue is egregious enough, you get personal handling and expedited issue resolution after posting in-game problems to these forums.

ZoS should fire whoever drafted that support response, talk about bad PR.

Suter1972 · September 2016

Wreuntzylla wrote: »

Suter1972 wrote: »

is this not a little like complaining the food in a restaurant tastes bad, so the chef takes it back, spits in it and sends it back out.

if you want a ticket/issue resolving then raising it on a forum (the companies own one at that!) is sure way to continue getting random support replies

You must be new to these forums. If the issue is egregious enough, you get personal handling and expedited issue resolution after posting in-game problems to these forums.

ZoS should fire whoever drafted that support response, talk about bad PR.

I still wouldn't be [SNIP] in my own backyard though....

[Edited For Profanity]

luen79rwb17_ESO · September 2016

Omg lmao! Had a good laugh with that response. Don't decon your unread lorebooks guys! Too bad they're not crown store items...

Ilsabet · September 2016

That's obviously a pre-canned stock response. It's likely that nobody even read your ticket and something about it triggered the auto-bot into thinking it had to do with missing or destroyed items.

Either that or Chet hit the wrong auto-response key.

Reverb · September 2016

Suter1972 wrote: »

Wreuntzylla wrote: »

Suter1972 wrote: »

is this not a little like complaining the food in a restaurant tastes bad, so the chef takes it back, spits in it and sends it back out.

if you want a ticket/issue resolving then raising it on a forum (the companies own one at that!) is sure way to continue getting random support replies

You must be new to these forums. If the issue is egregious enough, you get personal handling and expedited issue resolution after posting in-game problems to these forums.

ZoS should fire whoever drafted that support response, talk about bad PR.

I still wouldn't be p!ssing in my own backyard though....

Doesn't make any difference. This is the standard, expected response to tickets. All incoming bug reports are auto-closed with a pasted knowledge base article, that 80% of the time is unrelated to the issue being reported. It's cool, we all know it by now.

I only posted this one because the response is such a far departure from what their solution needs to be that it struck me funny. Really funny.

Armitas · September 2016

They are pretty helpful and nice once you get past their answering machine.

KingYogi415 · September 2016

"Thank for contacting the Elder Scrolls Online team. I'm sorry to hear you are having an issue.

We have gone ahead and charged 1,000$ dollars to the associated account. This charge provides 10 whole pre-paid crown boxes.

Please respond this email for more service."

RavenRoxie · September 2016

Reverb wrote: »

I don't think very highly of zeni support. And because I don't expect much from them, I am amused rather than irritated at how they handle tickets. It's like watching a baby learn to feed himself, and fumble Cheerios all over the place with his chubby little fingers. And so it is with good humor that I tell my tale.

The people of Cyrodiil have been very sneaky the last few weeks, hiding A handful of Mage's Guild lore books underneath beds and dressers. You can see their glow from under the furniture, but you cannot access or read the books.

After doing a "is it just me?" check, confirming in zone and guilds chats that other people are having this problem too, and that no one has reported it, I decided to open a ticket Surely this is the kind of thing they want to know about, right?

I provided details about Lore books being under furniture and inaccessible. I included the book name and location for one example. I got the following response:

Greetings!

Thank you for contacting The Elder Scrolls Online Team. I’m sorry to hear that you’re experiencing an issue.

We are not able to restore items that were destroyed or deconstructed.

However, in some cases we are able to restore destroyed Crown Store or Imperial Edition bonus items. If you have destroyed a Crown Store or Imperial Edition item and would like to have it restored, please reply to this email with any additional information on the loss and I will investigate further.

I laughed out loud. Literally, out loud. I would like to thank Zeni for adding comedy to what was an otherwise dreary Monday morning.

I got that exact same copy and paste response when I contacted support asking if "locking" a limited trade item makes it bound to you. I am not almost certain they do not read any of out support tickets

Reverb · September 2016

RavenRoxie wrote: »

Reverb wrote: »

I don't think very highly of zeni support. And because I don't expect much from them, I am amused rather than irritated at how they handle tickets. It's like watching a baby learn to feed himself, and fumble Cheerios all over the place with his chubby little fingers. And so it is with good humor that I tell my tale.

The people of Cyrodiil have been very sneaky the last few weeks, hiding A handful of Mage's Guild lore books underneath beds and dressers. You can see their glow from under the furniture, but you cannot access or read the books.

After doing a "is it just me?" check, confirming in zone and guilds chats that other people are having this problem too, and that no one has reported it, I decided to open a ticket Surely this is the kind of thing they want to know about, right?

I provided details about Lore books being under furniture and inaccessible. I included the book name and location for one example. I got the following response:

Greetings!

Thank you for contacting The Elder Scrolls Online Team. I’m sorry to hear that you’re experiencing an issue.

We are not able to restore items that were destroyed or deconstructed.

However, in some cases we are able to restore destroyed Crown Store or Imperial Edition bonus items. If you have destroyed a Crown Store or Imperial Edition item and would like to have it restored, please reply to this email with any additional information on the loss and I will investigate further.

I laughed out loud. Literally, out loud. I would like to thank Zeni for adding comedy to what was an otherwise dreary Monday morning.

I got that exact same copy and paste response when I contacted support asking if "locking" a limited trade item makes it bound to you. I am not almost certain they do not read any of out support tickets

I am 100% certain that they don't read the tickets. Once you learn to expect tier 1 support to be shite, it stops being a letdown. Once you reopen and escalate your ticket to tier 2 you get actual assistance in most cases.

KingYogi415 · September 2016

I called wow and had a 10 year old character restored to my account. Now that's costumer service.

OneKhajiitCrimeWave · September 2016

Monday morning Chad from support cares not for your problem:

Alucardo · September 2016

I received the same response, but the first ones are generally automatic replies that try to work out what you wanted.. which never actually works. So just reply to it and you'll get a real person with a proper response.

andryuhav · September 2016

Take a look here, it was in a thread regarding vMA drops

ZOS_AlanG wrote:

andryuhav wrote: »
I've got 4 restoration staffs in a row. Can I trade 3 of those for an infernal one, please?
Hello, we've removed this as we do not allow trading on the forums.

magnusthorek · September 2016

My best bad experience with them was, after 6 months their game ate some IC Vaults Trophies and with them refusing to listen every single time, arguing they aren't able to restore items, even though I had proofs and more proofs I did have them and that I didn't consume them opening the Vaults, was read them confessing they were unable to find logs of those items and then as "one time only" they would recover them to me.

You can or you cannot restore items, you liars? XD

ANd you can dream with your "one time only"...

Shad0wfire99 · September 2016

When the XBox Orsinium crash loop was still a thing, the first response I got from support explained how to change my forum name. Then, it said if I didn't respond it would consider the matter "resolved." My response email said "this isn't remotely close to resolving the issue I created a ticket on." These canned auto-responses are a joke.

Reverb · September 2016

Alucardo wrote: »

I received the same response, but the first ones are generally automatic replies that try to work out what you wanted.. which never actually works. So just reply to it and you'll get a real person with a proper response.

Usually yes. Not this time. Here's the 2nd response. I like that they apologize for taking so long to respond, when it was actually only a few hours after closing the ticket the first time

Greetings,
Thank you for contacting The Elder Scrolls Online team. Due to high ticket volume, we apologize for how long it has taken us to get back to you, and appreciate your patience.
If your issue has not been resolved, please respond back to this email so we can continue to assist you.
Thank you again for your time and patience.
Warm Regards,
The Elder Scrolls Online Team

Maybe the 3rd time's the charm? I don't expect that this will be fixed quickly, probably an incremental patch after One Tamriel, but at this point I'm not even certain from the responses that they actually know there's a problem..

Vorcil · September 2016

I remember in the first 9 months of ESO the support was absolutely fantastic!

The responses were all personally hand written and signed by an actual person and in some cases they made them lore friendly!

Too bad anymore; you'll get an automated message, not read by anyone nor reviewed.

gg quality eso

I_killed_Vivec · September 2016

My fave bad response was not getting a response...

But a couple of days being asked to complete a survey describing how well the response that I didn't get had dealt with my query!

Junipus · September 2016

Reverb wrote: »

I don't think very highly of zeni support. And because I don't expect much from them, I am amused rather than irritated at how they handle tickets. It's like watching a baby learn to feed himself, and fumble Cheerios all over the place with his chubby little fingers. And so it is with good humor that I tell my tale.

The people of Cyrodiil have been very sneaky the last few weeks, hiding A handful of Mage's Guild lore books underneath beds and dressers. You can see their glow from under the furniture, but you cannot access or read the books.

After doing a "is it just me?" check, confirming in zone and guilds chats that other people are having this problem too, and that no one has reported it, I decided to open a ticket Surely this is the kind of thing they want to know about, right?

I provided details about Lore books being under furniture and inaccessible. I included the book name and location for one example. I got the following response:

Greetings!

Thank you for contacting The Elder Scrolls Online Team. I’m sorry to hear that you’re experiencing an issue.

We are not able to restore items that were destroyed or deconstructed.

However, in some cases we are able to restore destroyed Crown Store or Imperial Edition bonus items. If you have destroyed a Crown Store or Imperial Edition item and would like to have it restored, please reply to this email with any additional information on the loss and I will investigate further.

I laughed out loud. Literally, out loud. I would like to thank Zeni for adding comedy to what was an otherwise dreary Monday morning.

You should have tried to get some extra CE treasure maps, or another ring of Mara.

Pinja · September 2016

If your going for the purple shalidor book in the shack by Fort Rayles it has an alternate spawn. That shack is actually an intended dev troll, if you play with the camera switching 3rd & 1st you can grab both books there. GL

xellink · September 2016

Wreuntzylla wrote: »

ZoS should fire whoever drafted that support response, talk about bad PR.

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/08/man-with-down-syndrome-fired-from-job-because-of-budget-cuts/

You never know who is on the other side of the receiving end.

KaleidoscopeEyz · September 2016

You never know who is on the other side of the receiving end.

I don't want Zos' down syndrome customer support fired. Free up the funds.

nine9six · September 2016

Rohamad_Ali wrote: »

Warm Regards ,

Chet

haha beat me to it.

undefeatdgaul · September 2016

yeh they are at an absolutely embarrassing level of incompetent. some of the worst Ive ever seen, and the worst part is they dont even care

Trashyratchet · September 2016

Reverb wrote: »

I don't think very highly of zeni support. And because I don't expect much from them, I am amused rather than irritated at how they handle tickets. It's like watching a baby learn to feed himself, and fumble Cheerios all over the place with his chubby little fingers. And so it is with good humor that I tell my tale.

The people of Cyrodiil have been very sneaky the last few weeks, hiding A handful of Mage's Guild lore books underneath beds and dressers. You can see their glow from under the furniture, but you cannot access or read the books.

After doing a "is it just me?" check, confirming in zone and guilds chats that other people are having this problem too, and that no one has reported it, I decided to open a ticket Surely this is the kind of thing they want to know about, right?

I provided details about Lore books being under furniture and inaccessible. I included the book name and location for one example. I got the following response:

Greetings!

Thank you for contacting The Elder Scrolls Online Team. I’m sorry to hear that you’re experiencing an issue.

We are not able to restore items that were destroyed or deconstructed.

However, in some cases we are able to restore destroyed Crown Store or Imperial Edition bonus items. If you have destroyed a Crown Store or Imperial Edition item and would like to have it restored, please reply to this email with any additional information on the loss and I will investigate further.

I laughed out loud. Literally, out loud. I would like to thank Zeni for adding comedy to what was an otherwise dreary Monday morning.

Haha! This is actually an ongoing joke in our guild. Anytime someone mentions opening a ticket for something, someone in chat will say " We are not able to restore items that were destroyed or deconstructed " I've received this exact response from a ticket about not receiving crowns that I purchased.

Destyran · September 2016

One time i made a ticket on XBOX ONE and they sent me instructions for PC!!!!!! PC?? It was like right click this menu blah blah blah. I was like um yeah have no idea how to do that lol