Question for Solo Players

SeaGtGruff · June 20

I mainly play solo, but not exclusively. I enjoy playing alongside other players, although I do worry that they might not consider me to be "good enough" because my DPS is below average for various reasons. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be a lot more involved in group content.

Casdha · June 20

I play this game because it is an Elder Scrolls game with quests and stories. I've grown to like the MMO part of it if for no other reason than the world is alive. Sure I hear the same lines of dialog every time I load the game and my main is parked in Rawl'kha but there is also always something different happening in the scene due to all of the real players there, it is never the same.

I'll also say this, if they would have kept making new zone DLCs for Skyrim, like they do chapters and DLC for this game, ESO would have never gotten off the ground. I still wonder if ESO is the real reason why Dragonborn was the last DLC for Skyrim? Otherwise it never made sense that they killed that game as early as they did (other than ports and a cash shop). Can you imagine how big ES5 would still be if some of those large modding projects in the works were officially developed releases.

As to one of your questions,

ThoraxtheDark wrote: »

Do you want cosmetics and a store in every game you play?

I'm gonna take that opportunity to put this down so that Devs can read it: If this game and what they have been doing in updates to Skyrim and Starfield (after it was introduced here) are a sign of things to come for ES6 (real money cash shops, as currently implemented) and we are beta testing for those aspects of the next Elder Scrolls game, I'm gonna state this right now, "it will be a Flop".

Haenk · June 20

"Family matters" require me to be able to shut down at any given moment - so an hour long group effort would be very unfair towards the other players.

Shara_Wynn · June 20

Lonestryder wrote: »

[snip]

Yeah I totally got that vibe too.

ThoraxtheDark wrote: »

As someone who has played mmorpgs for over 15 years of my life.

I have been playing MMO's for over 30 years and for all that time, there have always been people who have played these type of games "solo". It's not a new phenomenon.

ThoraxtheDark wrote: »

The main draw to it for me, and to many others over the years is the community, the cooperative play, silly and random interactions, meeting new people etc.

One can still play "solo" in an MMORPG and still be part of a community. One can still do quests and overland content and crafting and housing and antiquities and harvesting and ToT and still be chatting to one's guildmates. One can play "solo" and then one can go and help out one's guildmates with a dungeon, or a world boss, or just craft some gear for them. There can still be "the community, the cooperatvie play, silly and random interactions, meeting new people etc." that you talk off while playing "solo".

ThoraxtheDark wrote: »

Everyone knows the quests, the grind, the loot is all pretty basic but it's the replayability of the group content that really drives people to keep doing the same quests over and over.

But a lot of group content is farming gear or doing trifecta's. Isn't that grindy and boring doing the same content over and over again? I guess what is "boring" is in the opinion of the beholder.

ThoraxtheDark wrote: »

This game has been heavily marketed to the "Solo" player the last few years and the game has definitely reflected that both with the content , and the community.

I disagree. I think the last two expansions have been very much focused on trying to "encourage" group play.

ThoraxtheDark wrote: »

My main question is to solo players , why do you play solo only in an Mmorpg?

Because I want to play the game my way. And it isn't harming anyone. Because I love exploring the beautiful landscapes, watching people hanging out and interacting at the main cities, helping out others where I can (even if for me it is usually just crafting them something or giving freebies away), and engaging in the story quests and the lore of TES.

Also I find the whole grouping up thing in ESO to be quite intimidating because of the very same community that you are commenting on. There are good and bad apples in all things. I just find that I can avoid the bad apples by not grouping up with toxic, elitist players, while enjoying the good apples by chatting with guildies, chilling while doing overland content and helping others out where I can.

ThoraxtheDark wrote: »

Also I want to genuinely ask if you think a live service single player game is the type of game you would enjoy in the future? Do you want cosmetics and a store in every game you play? ( I promise I don't work for EA or Blizzard)

No because I like the option to be able to group if I feel like doing so. And Yes, I like my cosmetics.

[edited to remove quote]

licenturion · June 20

I do play dungeons and trials since there is the matchmaking and the occasional battleground just for the daily endeavour. So if I just have to press 1 button to do group content, I will play it gladly. I won't do discords, zone chat or other forms of begging to people to join. Nor do I care for veteran content or 'have those 25 achievements before you can join' stuff.

I am also in a trader guild with has the motto 'shut up and trade' so I can make some extra money. Love the concept and these likeminded people.

But apart from that I also play solo mostly. ESO feels made for it. Almost everything is possible solo and since they introduced companions so I don't feel the need to do story content with others. I listen to the voice acting, the music and reading through the lore.

I don't play PVP since that part doesn't part doesn't interest me at all and because the gear imbalance and non existent SBMM. I play other games for my PVP fix.

Your other question: do you want live service single player games with a cosmetic shop. NO. I played Assassins Creed Valhalla that was set up like this and it made me sour on the game and not wanting to replay it because it became a huge slog with 10 types of gameplay systems built into it and mostly filler stuff. Also I want to earn my cosmetic in single player games and not buy them. I just use mods if those cost extra real money.

Tenthirty2 · June 20

ThoraxtheDark wrote: »

... I promise I don't work for EA or Blizzard)

Who then?

Seriously tho, I solo ESO bcuz I am a massive introvert, but I also love The Elder Scrolls as a franchise, the world, the lore, all of it, since Daggerfall. I played all the other ES titles and decided to give ESO a try, so here we are.

But people, interactions with people often are mentally and even physically exhausting. Even if the interactions are fun and I have a great time, at the end of it I'm still ready to go somewhere quiet and let the solace soak in again.

My first "MMO" was Fallout 76, which I loved but I ran into trolls enough times that it just pushed me to start soloing everything, even nuke drops. I got very good at it. I also maaay have a bit of a competitive streak in me, so those two traits go well together I spose. Then Beth released private servers for Fo76, yeah I was all in for that LOL!

When I began playing ESO it never even occurred to me that "This is a group-oriented game, you should try to play nice with others".
I just started doing everything on my own again and tried to avoid other players. I fell in love with dungeons and arenas (of course) when I found out they're instanced, heh.
Eventually I became comfortable with overland group content, WBs, world events like dragons, dolmens, HS, etc. People are just going to show up and that's fine, it's their game too and if I want to keep doing content like that I had to accept that others will want to also.

Someone asked me why I try to solo dragons, there's my answer, introvert+competitive (it's also big fun!). And the only reason I haven't solo-killed one yet is people always show up lol (duh).

I've also been a member of several guilds for a couple years now. But I didn't join any for the first couple years I played ESO because I didn't see the point (They're all full of HUMANS, yikes), but I hadn't discovered the wonders of TRADING yet haha. So I joined a few guilds and got into trading, but that was the extent of my guild interactions.

Then earlier this year I started joining one of my guilds for dungeon run nights, then trial nights, then PVP nights, it IS FUN!

I love the guild and I have a great time BUT, when the events are done, often so am I and I'm ready to just go be an antisocial soloist again.

It's not fun, I'm not like this to try to be edgy or an outsider or something else stupid, I wish I wasn't like this. I've lost friends because of it and when I try to explain to people that it's not THEM personally. That I just have times when I don't want to hang out or I need separation and ME time, they don't understand.

It's just how I'm wired.

Elsonso · June 20

Danikat wrote: »

Honestly if someone had told me then that their vision for an MMORPG was a glorified lobby game where the overworld is used only to learn the basics and find a guild and a static team to progress through increasingly difficult instanced areas, grinding them over and over for necessary drops to progress to the next thing, I might have never tried playing them at all.

I played that one for a while.

So happy to be here and not there.

TaSheen wrote: »

I like MMOs because they aren't static. I don't have any interest in interacting with others. Skyrim (and Oblivion) still maintain my interest because of the very active modding communities (specifically the player-modded quests that extend the experience).

One of the things that I noticed about Skyrim after playing ESO for a bit is that it is a lonely experience. The world is dead. I had to load it up with companion and NPC mods just to make the world feel like I wasn't alone. It works as long as one does look too closely.

Having other players around makes a difference.

Danikat · June 20

Casdha wrote: »

I'll also say this, if they would have kept making new zone DLCs for Skyrim, like they do chapters and DLC for this game, ESO would have never gotten off the ground. I still wonder if ESO is the real reason why Dragonborn was the last DLC for Skyrim? Otherwise it never made sense that they killed that game as early as they did (other than ports and a cash shop). Can you imagine how big ES5 would still be if some of those large modding projects in the works were officially developed releases.

I think you're looking at it entirely wrong - Skyrim was never intended to be a live service game with endless updates and addons. Bethesda didn't 'kill it' early or otherwise, they simply finished making it and went on to other things. That is still the standard model for single-player games and back in 2011 no one would have expected anything else because the current trend of trying to make everything a live service cash cow hadn't started.

The only surprising part is that it's gotten so many ports and re-releases (and how long it's taking to get a sequel), not that they didn't keep trying to tack on extras for players to buy.

Casdha · June 20

Danikat wrote: »

That is still the standard model for single-player games and back in 2011 no one would have expected anything else because the current trend of trying to make everything a live service cash cow hadn't started.

The only surprising part is that it's gotten so many ports and re-releases (and how long it's taking to get a sequel), not that they didn't keep trying to tack on extras for players to buy.

That is kind of my point, they had two new paths to choose from and you can see which one they took and now they are starting to implement what was started in this game into solo games as well.

After this game and all of the zone updates, I fear there is nothing they can do to keep it from feeling bland in comparison, because they will not continue to do updates (but they could). They might do a couple and I will die of old age before ES7 would come out (if that doesn't happen first with ES6)

Edit: think of all of the doors leading out of Skyrim that you can pear over or through but were never used, (sure some mods do) just like this game has had. It had the potential but it never came to be (officially). This game eventually uses those doors.

Edit2: I still remember that Skyrim was the first game I ever purchsed that required internet service to play and you had to install steam to play it (official PC Hard copy version). It may not be that way now but it was at release.

shadyjane62 · June 20

First MMO I played was WoW. PLayed for over ten years first time (because you always go back at least once

) Had my own guild and that was consuming.

Whe I cam to ESO on first day I decided to play differently. Solo.

Best decision ever for me.

I talk to people I've met. I have one friend on my list because for one month in 2023 I was part of an incredible experience. A PVP guild with Niz at the head. We swept through the rankings fast.We dominated because of her leadership.

She was driven out of the game by hate whispers from rival factions that just couldn't handle losing to such a talented young woman.

After one month she quit having been griefed relentlessly.

This is why I solo. Because while ESO is in general a good game people wise there is in every game a certain toxic crowd that gets its fun from being nasty to others.

This one is for you Mudflinger of Elsweyr.

SickleCider · June 20

I feel like there's an agenda behind this post.

You know, I almost started to formulate a response, but the truth is no one should have to explain why they aren't hyper social.

Syldras · June 20

Tenthirty2 wrote: »

But people, interactions with people often are mentally and even physically exhausting. Even if the interactions are fun and I have a great time, at the end of it I'm still ready to go somewhere quiet and let the solace soak in again.

I'm the same. Or almost. Which means I hardly care for interactions with other people at all (with some rare exceptions). The unavoidable interactions in daily life are more than enough for me, so I don't want more of it in my free time. Even with close friends (as in "people I'm sharing life with unabridged and for a longer time, usually over a decade, sometimes over two"), I prefer writing letters or emails over meeting somewhere (although I will accept if they want to meet me in person once or twice a year, but I do it for them, not out of an intrinsic need). If I actually bear having someone with me all the time, I might as well marry that person. It's the biggest compliment someone can get. People who aren't wired like this won't understand, I know that. I'm quite sure it's a (probably rare) trait some people are just born with. All I know is that I've already been like that as a small child, and almost 40 years later, nothing has changed.

In case you wonder why I'm active in this forum: Writing is different. I can choose when I write. I am not forced to interact immediately if I'm currently exhausted, not in the mood, or occupied with other things/thoughts (which happens often enough). If I feel like "interacting", in a way, for some minutes, I'll do it.

Tenthirty2 wrote: »

It's not fun, I'm not like this to try to be edgy or an outsider or something else stupid, I wish I wasn't like this.

I actually like being like this. I hear people complaining about boredom, loneliness, and even desperation about not finding friends or a partner all the time. These are things I never felt. I'm content just pursuing my own interests, if I'm left alone, I'm happy. Friends and a partner are a nice plus, but not a necessity. I think I am lucky.

Tenthirty2 wrote: »

I've lost friends because of it and when I try to explain to people that it's not THEM personally. That I just have times when I don't want to hang out or I need separation and ME time, they don't understand.

Having to explain this all the time is slightly annoying, I experienced that as well. To acquaintances and colleagues, that is. I never had to explain that to friends, because I don't befriend with people who don't understand my nature. I just don't know why I would do that. Especially since there are more than enough people who do understand (or maybe not always understand - but they accept it nonetheless, and that is what matters). I have 5 friends (or what many people would call "close friends" - for me that's just friends, everyone else is a acquaintance). I actually think that's a lot.

Elsonso wrote: »

One of the things that I noticed about Skyrim after playing ESO for a bit is that it is a lonely experience. The world is dead.

That type of "loneliness" is actually what I enjoy, both in games as in real life: Vast landscapes without anyone else. It's like vacation for me. There's a reason I often play ESO late in the evening when not many people are around.

cyclonus11 · June 20

I don't know why this still needs to be stated, but:

SOCIAL INTERACTION STILL EXISTS WHILE PLAYING SOLO IN AN MMORPG

I enjoy social interaction while not being required to commit to anything, as I don't know when I'll have to leave my desk for whatever reason. There are guilds and guild events and the like that don't require that I don't move from my seat for an hour and a half. I like being able to just go do something else whenever I need to or feel like it.

I still do a dungeon or trial or PVP group from time to time, but I have to basically prepare for it ahead of time to make sure I don't have interruptions.

I mostly played solo in the original EverQuest. It's not a new phenomenon.

DoofusMax · June 20

ThoraxtheDark wrote: »

My main question is to solo players , why do you play solo only in an Mmorpg?

Also I want to genuinely ask if you think a live service single player game is the type of game you would enjoy in the future? Do you want cosmetics and a store in every game you play? ( I promise I don't work for EA or Blizzard)

I mostly play solo because I can. This is the only MMO that I play and I'm only playing it because Elder Scrolls (there has been a many-year drought on the BGS side of things). While I can and do play grouped and play group content, I spend the vast majority of my time doing solo stuff because it's what I enjoy.

To the live-service side of thing, I REALLY dislike live-service games. I accept it because it's ESO is an MMO, but it's something that makes me think twice before purchase. If the live-service serves a legitimate in-game purpose, then I'll tolerate it. Single-player games with an optional multiplayer component fall into that category, although I studiously avoid that multiplayer component, but the game needs to be exceptionally good to overcome my initial aversion to live-service.

As far as in-game store, I avoid them. I've used them in other games when I could get the store currency through playing or used whatever freebie "try it, you'll like it" might come along, but ESO is the only game where I've dropped real-world cash (ESO Plus counts, I guess). Stores generally don't add anything useful to a game and I'm always thinking pay-to-win if they do.

Nathrai · June 20

SickleCider wrote: »

You know, I almost started to formulate a response, but the truth is no one should have to explain why they aren't hyper social.

There was a time when you didn't have to, when you could just use the internet they way you wanted to.

Then the effing extroverts invaded that safe space with their voice chats and tiktoks and their demands for everything to cater only to them, just like in the real world.

And now you're getting shamed for playing a game the way it's fun to play, and people defend systems that force solo players into group content they don't enjoy, all in the name of "but this is an MMO, you're supposed to spend 24/7 dealing with others".

JemadarofCaerSalis · June 20

Why do I play ESO Solo?

1. It was free on Epic. Otherwise I would have never touched it, as I don't play MMOs. I have sometimes wanted to get into them, but I didn't want constant PVP or needing to be social to do anything (or worry about being attacked while offline).
2. It is an Elder Scrolls game. If it hadn't been, I most likely would have passed it up, even if it were free.
3. It does have the ability to do the majority of content solo.

Would I want live services in single player games? Absolutely not. I can accept DLCs as they add new content and can keep a game feeling 'fresh' but in game shops (for real money) and constant events get stale and often just start feeling like cash grabs of 'lets reskin this weapon/this armor and sell it!'

I am also playing single player games alongside ESO as well. It isn't an 'either/or' situation.

Sometimes I feel like talking to other people in game, others I just want to run around, do my quests, whatever and ignore everyone.

SickleCider · June 20

Nathrai wrote: »

SickleCider wrote: »

You know, I almost started to formulate a response, but the truth is no one should have to explain why they aren't hyper social.

There was a time when you didn't have to, when you could just use the internet they way you wanted to.

Then the effing extroverts invaded that safe space with their voice chats and tiktoks and their demands for everything to cater only to them, just like in the real world.

And now you're getting shamed for playing a game the way it's fun to play, and people defend systems that force solo players into group content they don't enjoy, all in the name of "but this is an MMO, you're supposed to spend 24/7 dealing with others".

I think it's a little worse, actually. Demanding "everything cater to them" would require acknowledging that introverted people exist. That's not their lived experience, so anyone that isn't inclined to be hyper social is lonely and impaired in some way.

The internet is a giant farce. There's a reason I don't do social media anymore. It's a neverending treadmill, a loud, neverending pageant, a cynical vehicle for viral marketing, MLMs, propaganda and partisan buzzwords. And the only reason it functions is because of this weird, pervasive social attitude that's both saccharine and outraged at the same time. Be proactive! Voice your opinion about everything! Hustle! Get that bag! Show those NPCs how it's done!

Gah.

That was a bit of a tangent but I'm having a Mood lately.

There's nothing wrong with people who derive warmth and fulfillment from being around people, by the way. The aggressive ones really do a disservice to them.

valenwood_vegan · June 20

SickleCider wrote: »

I feel like there's an agenda behind this post.

You know, I almost started to formulate a response, but the truth is no one should have to explain why they aren't hyper social.

Agree. I purchased ESO and I play ESO how I want, when I want, with or without others as I choose, for *my* enjoyment. I do not need to explain myself to anyone.

To answer the other question though, I can't see myself having much interest in a single player live service game. Would not pay a sub or anything for a single player game, and would not participate in a cash shop in such a game (though if I'm enjoying the game I don't mind buying expansions and DLC if they bring sufficient new content to the table). I just don't see the value in it - I feel that what I'm paying for in ESO for example *is* the fact that the world is alive with other people, even if I'm not always grouped with them.

Desiato · June 20

In MMOs, there are different levels of engagement that range from active, like playing with a core group or in a guild and passive, like participating in the player economy, pugs, killing a world boss with other random players or even just standing around strangers. In Cyrodiil, zone chat is a kind of community, maybe even to those who don't actively participate.

In ESO, there's another aspect that comes from its TES lineage of single player games. ESO was originally designed to be the ultimate MMO, but one that could be played like a single player game.

furiouslog · June 20

SickleCider wrote: »

I feel like there's an agenda behind this post.

You know, I almost started to formulate a response, but the truth is no one should have to explain why they aren't hyper social.

What agenda do you think is behind this post? Is it a big setup to a sucker punch where the OP mocks all of the earnest respondents? That seems unlikely, since it would get reported and closed. Is the OP making a list of some sort? What is concerning you?

It seems to me that the OP, in a moment of curiosity, made a post likely spurred on by some insight or observation in order to gather data to satisfy that curiosity. Is that also not a likely explanation?

Also, what is "hyper" social? I don't even think it's referenced in the OP.

SilverBride · June 20

It comes across to me that those who choose to play solo are being identified as the exception and not the norm... as something that needs to be justified.

SickleCider · June 20

furiouslog wrote: »

SickleCider wrote: »

I feel like there's an agenda behind this post.

You know, I almost started to formulate a response, but the truth is no one should have to explain why they aren't hyper social.

What agenda do you think is behind this post? Is it a big setup to a sucker punch where the OP mocks all of the earnest respondents? That seems unlikely, since it would get reported and closed. Is the OP making a list of some sort? What is concerning you?

It seems to me that the OP, in a moment of curiosity, made a post likely spurred on by some insight or observation in order to gather data to satisfy that curiosity. Is that also not a likely explanation?

Also, what is "hyper" social? I don't even think it's referenced in the OP.

You're right, it could be earnest curiosity. I wish I could have faith in that. It reads very much like a veiled way to complain about players that don't engage more in group activities. I'd have just moved on were it not for the last paragraph, that sounds like a jab and an insinuation that the only reason those people are here is for the cash shop. There is an attitude among some people on this forum that people that don't want to play the game like a traditional MMO don't belong. Maybe I've been made a little cynical seeing that pop up repeatedly.

By "hyper social" I meant simply someone that is highly social. The sort of person that would probably (not necessarily) not be a solo player.

I_killed_Vivec · June 20

Lonestryder wrote: »

[snip]

Indeed.

My motives for playing the way I do are my own and I don't need to explain them to anyone.

[edited to remove quote]

furiouslog · June 20

SickleCider wrote: »

furiouslog wrote: »

SickleCider wrote: »

I feel like there's an agenda behind this post.

You know, I almost started to formulate a response, but the truth is no one should have to explain why they aren't hyper social.

What agenda do you think is behind this post? Is it a big setup to a sucker punch where the OP mocks all of the earnest respondents? That seems unlikely, since it would get reported and closed. Is the OP making a list of some sort? What is concerning you?

It seems to me that the OP, in a moment of curiosity, made a post likely spurred on by some insight or observation in order to gather data to satisfy that curiosity. Is that also not a likely explanation?

Also, what is "hyper" social? I don't even think it's referenced in the OP.

You're right, it could be earnest curiosity. I wish I could have faith in that. It reads very much like a veiled way to complain about players that don't engage more in group activities. I'd have just moved on were it not for the last paragraph, that sounds like a jab and an insinuation that the only reason those people are here is for the cash shop. There is an attitude among some people on this forum that people that don't want to play the game like a traditional MMO don't belong. Maybe I've been made a little cynical seeing that pop up repeatedly.

By "hyper social" I meant simply someone that is highly social. The sort of person that would probably (not necessarily) not be a solo player.

I get it. I mean, there are possibly a few individuals on this forum who love to be contrary for its own sake, but for the most part that sort are harmless and irrelevant, and often get mitigated by mods anyway, when they are not raising endless numbers of tickets to report even the slightest amount of disagreement or offense, of course.

The store question I had interpreted as a follow up given the number of single player games that now have such a thing, like the Assassin's Creed franchise. My daughter plays those and chances cosmetics in the game, but she won't buy them because she is like "who am I gonna impress?" So the question rang true to me as a legitimate one, without insinuation.

If I were to describe how I interpreted the OP's motivation, it seems like it's a handful of marketing questions, so maybe the OP has worked in marketing before and just wanted to see what was up?

As far as the soloist's sense of belonging, I personally don't inherently understand playing an MMO long term without getting involved in social guilds and making some new friends, but I am an extrovert and my sense of self is processed partly through my interactions with others. In my own guild, we had some people with social anxiety, and tried to still encourage them to come into Discord and participate to the level with which they felt comfortable. One such person used to join chat and stay on mute. After a few months, they actually got a vocoder app and began to chat with us using a robot voice. Eventually they stopped playing, but being there to watch those slow changes did give me an appreciation for how difficult it is for some people to put themselves out there, I presume for being judged or mocked most of the time, but I really don't know. I accept it as a condition of their company.

For the folks who don't want to answer the OP, that's fine, do or don't do what you like, but posting and accusing them of bad faith and toxicity is just as toxic as it would be to troll people who prefer to solo ESO in the first place. Give people the benefit of the doubt and if they fail you, condemn them at that point when they actually deserve it.

Syldras · June 20

furiouslog wrote: »

As far as the soloist's sense of belonging, I personally don't inherently understand playing an MMO long term without getting involved in social guilds and making some new friends,

It's simple, actually: Why would I do something I'm not interested in?

furiouslog wrote: »

but I am an extrovert and my sense of self is processed partly through my interactions with others.

I don't understand this. How do my interactions with others define that? Whatever I do, in which way I interact with someone, is already manifested as a thought inside my brain anyway, before being acted out. It's all already there.

furiouslog wrote: »

In my own guild, we had some people with social anxiety, and tried to still encourage them to come into Discord and participate to the level with which they felt comfortable.

Social anxiety might be one reason not to interact with others. But it's very much possible not to be anxious, but just disinterested. If I have to interact with people, I have no problems at all. People were even amazed how "confident" I was when holding a speech or being on stage, I got compliments about it all the time (if they even knew it was nonchalance more than anything...). But that still doesn't mean that I have a need for social interaction. Simple comparison: Some people don't like cake. They don't want to be encouraged to eat cake. That doesn't mean they are afraid of cake.

That said, I don't see any agenda behind OP's question, either. Lack of understanding maybe, but no agenda.

SickleCider · June 20

furiouslog wrote: »

SickleCider wrote: »

furiouslog wrote: »

SickleCider wrote: »

I feel like there's an agenda behind this post.

You know, I almost started to formulate a response, but the truth is no one should have to explain why they aren't hyper social.

What agenda do you think is behind this post? Is it a big setup to a sucker punch where the OP mocks all of the earnest respondents? That seems unlikely, since it would get reported and closed. Is the OP making a list of some sort? What is concerning you?

It seems to me that the OP, in a moment of curiosity, made a post likely spurred on by some insight or observation in order to gather data to satisfy that curiosity. Is that also not a likely explanation?

Also, what is "hyper" social? I don't even think it's referenced in the OP.

You're right, it could be earnest curiosity. I wish I could have faith in that. It reads very much like a veiled way to complain about players that don't engage more in group activities. I'd have just moved on were it not for the last paragraph, that sounds like a jab and an insinuation that the only reason those people are here is for the cash shop. There is an attitude among some people on this forum that people that don't want to play the game like a traditional MMO don't belong. Maybe I've been made a little cynical seeing that pop up repeatedly.

By "hyper social" I meant simply someone that is highly social. The sort of person that would probably (not necessarily) not be a solo player.

I get it. I mean, there are possibly a few individuals on this forum who love to be contrary for its own sake, but for the most part that sort are harmless and irrelevant, and often get mitigated by mods anyway, when they are not raising endless numbers of tickets to report even the slightest amount of disagreement or offense, of course.

The store question I had interpreted as a follow up given the number of single player games that now have such a thing, like the Assassin's Creed franchise. My daughter plays those and chances cosmetics in the game, but she won't buy them because she is like "who am I gonna impress?" So the question rang true to me as a legitimate one, without insinuation.

If I were to describe how I interpreted the OP's motivation, it seems like it's a handful of marketing questions, so maybe the OP has worked in marketing before and just wanted to see what was up?

As far as the soloist's sense of belonging, I personally don't inherently understand playing an MMO long term without getting involved in social guilds and making some new friends, but I am an extrovert and my sense of self is processed partly through my interactions with others. In my own guild, we had some people with social anxiety, and tried to still encourage them to come into Discord and participate to the level with which they felt comfortable. One such person used to join chat and stay on mute. After a few months, they actually got a vocoder app and began to chat with us using a robot voice. Eventually they stopped playing, but being there to watch those slow changes did give me an appreciation for how difficult it is for some people to put themselves out there, I presume for being judged or mocked most of the time, but I really don't know. I accept it as a condition of their company.

For the folks who don't want to answer the OP, that's fine, do or don't do what you like, but posting and accusing them of bad faith and toxicity is just as toxic as it would be to troll people who prefer to solo ESO in the first place. Give people the benefit of the doubt and if they fail you, condemn them at that point when they actually deserve it.

Well, you know what? I can't find any fault with your point of view! It honestly wouldn't hurt me to be less eager to comment when I take exception to something, especially when the hard evidence isn't there. You've got me there.

And, since you bested me, I'm going to offer you an answer to the OP's question, from my perspective. I originally started playing ESO with a single friend. I've met a few more since then, and I've even been a member of a guild for years now that is aware of and accepting of my social inclinations. Hardly anyone is a complete introvert. I enjoy occasionally playing with my friends, or even interacting with the guild, even if I volunteer less of my time than some of the other members.

You say your sense of self is processed through interacting with others. That's legitimate, even though I don't completely understand it. My sense of self very much requires periods of solitude and introspection. I don't always need someone to be there to feel grounded in self and space. Sometimes friends worry that they're leaving me alone too much, and I have to assure them that I'm really okay. The truth is, if I don't get that time to reflect, I get exhausted, overwhelmed, and my behavior socially suffers. I definitely perform better when I have ample time to consider the social needs of others and how to navigate them.

Why be in ESO without my small entourage online? Well, there are plenty of things to do that don't necessarily functionally benefit from having another player there. It can be fun to achieve something on my own and then show my friends the cool new thing later on. Plus, while I don't like talking to strangers so much, I do like watching them. That may be a little selfish, but I feel like a video game is a rare opportunity to do that without impeding on someone's privacy or making them feel unsafe. It's nice to see people just vibing out there. I suppose it's like real life; I don't enjoy people but it's nice knowing they're out there.

But tbh I'm always just spinning my wheels until the next FromSoftware project. ESO won't see me again for a while after tomorrow when that Elden Ring DLC drops. 😁

Nathrai · June 20

The wording of the question, especially with the last paragraph, is very much hinting at leading up to a "got you" remark. And like I said above, it sounds a lot like "why are you playing this the wrong way".

Call me paranoid, but as an introvert this is what you have to deal with day by day. You wouldn't believe how many people keep claiming I'm living a lonely, pathetic existence just because I prefer reading a good book or cuddling with my dog on my couch to going out "partying hard" and drinking myself into a stupor.

And on this very forum, people constantly are claiming that anybody not doing Trials, PvP and group arenas are simply playing wrong ...
(Mind you, I even enjoy each of those from time to time. At my pace. When *I* want to spend time that way.)

SilverBride · June 20

Nathrai wrote: »

You wouldn't believe how many people keep claiming I'm living a lonely, pathetic existence just because I prefer reading a good book or cuddling with my dog on my couch to going out "partying hard" and drinking myself into a stupor.

I agree. I text with my friends a lot and enjoy getting together with them, but after a couple of hours I just want to go home and relax. Having me time does not mean lonely.

Nathrai wrote: »

And on this very forum, people constantly are claiming that anybody not doing Trials, PvP and group arenas are simply playing wrong ...

I agree with this, too. This happens way too often and there is no constructive benefit to approaching those that enjoy playing solo and asking them to justify themselves, especially when they aren't doing anything wrong.

SickleCider · June 20

SilverBride wrote: »

Nathrai wrote: »

You wouldn't believe how many people keep claiming I'm living a lonely, pathetic existence just because I prefer reading a good book or cuddling with my dog on my couch to going out "partying hard" and drinking myself into a stupor.

I agree. I text with my friends a lot and enjoy getting together with them, but after a couple of hours I just want to go home and relax. Having me time does not mean lonely.

Nathrai wrote: »

And on this very forum, people constantly are claiming that anybody not doing Trials, PvP and group arenas are simply playing wrong ...

I agree with this, too. This happens way too often and there is no constructive benefit to approaching those that enjoy playing solo and asking them to justify themselves, especially when they aren't doing anything wrong.

I think there is a logic thread you can follow, though it's not one I agree with. I think the ones that are perturbed by "solo" players believe that if they can either convert or convince them to leave, the game will shift more toward traditional, socially demanding MMO content. At that point I think you're just wishing for the game to be something it's not.

furiouslog · June 20

SickleCider wrote: »

Well, you know what? I can't find any fault with your point of view! It honestly wouldn't hurt me to be less eager to comment when I take exception to something, especially when the hard evidence isn't there. You've got me there.

And, since you bested me, I'm going to offer you an answer to the OP's question, from my perspective. I originally started playing ESO with a single friend. I've met a few more since then, and I've even been a member of a guild for years now that is aware of and accepting of my social inclinations. Hardly anyone is a complete introvert. I enjoy occasionally playing with my friends, or even interacting with the guild, even if I volunteer less of my time than some of the other members.

You say your sense of self is processed through interacting with others. That's legitimate, even though I don't completely understand it. My sense of self very much requires periods of solitude and introspection. I don't always need someone to be there to feel grounded in self and space. Sometimes friends worry that they're leaving me alone too much, and I have to assure them that I'm really okay. The truth is, if I don't get that time to reflect, I get exhausted, overwhelmed, and my behavior socially suffers. I definitely perform better when I have ample time to consider the social needs of others and how to navigate them.

Why be in ESO without my small entourage online? Well, there are plenty of things to do that don't necessarily functionally benefit from having another player there. It can be fun to achieve something on my own and then show my friends the cool new thing later on. Plus, while I don't like talking to strangers so much, I do like watching them. That may be a little selfish, but I feel like a video game is a rare opportunity to do that without impeding on someone's privacy or making them feel unsafe. It's nice to see people just vibing out there. I suppose it's like real life; I don't enjoy people but it's nice knowing they're out there.

But tbh I'm always just spinning my wheels until the next FromSoftware project. ESO won't see me again for a while after tomorrow when that Elden Ring DLC drops. 😁

Excellent answer!

As far as extroversion versus introversion, psychologically it's less about being outgoing or not. A couple of you could not relate to what I said about interactions with others. Pulling back further, there are, at the extreme, two types of people in this category: people who define themselves from within (and prefer alone time), and people who define themselves by gathering information to understand themselves (and engage in more social activity than "average"). The people at the ends of that spectrum tend not to get the people at the other end. You can explain it to someone, but you can't necessarily try the idea on to see if it fits because it just won't. I know what I think, but I'm not sure if I am good at something until I have a benchmark. If I tally up the things I am "good" or "bad" at, that pretty much helps me to understand myself. Extend that to things like communication, teaching, joking, and all of that, and I have a pretty robust feedback loop that starves if it gets no information.

Recent neuroscience research has demonstrated that some social interaction is necessary to develop intelligence on a number of fronts - a recent paper showed that pre-frontal cortex development and activity is directly correlated with the number of people one has in one's social network (not just online). That's not to say that people who are "shy" are less intelligent - it's more that other drivers of types of intelligence are responsible for brain development.

That's a long winded way of saying that people just grow up differently and it's harder for people who are on one end to really understand the people on the other end because their brains are just different. However, that being said, attributes like empathy and other characteristics of emotional intelligence are stronger in extroverts than introverts, so theoretically, I ought to be able to understand where you're coming from. I think I do, but I'm not pretending that I really "get it", because you are you and I am me and there is no way to be sure. You appear to be a classic introvert: all the stuff you shared (and thank you for your trust and honesty) points that direction, absent any other information. Solitude recharges you, just like 25-30% of the rest of the general population. I guess I don't "get it" but I do hear you. I hope you guys hear where I am coming from.

Either way, I'm glad that there is a game that we can both play and enjoy together (or not), and we do definitely share a love of ESO lore and its world, and that's a good thing. Enjoy your DLC!