Anyone else have a bully /kick you from a dungeon? (Screenshot)

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  • Malkiv
    Malkiv
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    Hydra9268 wrote: »

    You roll with the group's decision. That's demonstrating compromise and common courtesy. If they want to do the secret boss and you don't want to, then they find a replacement. Your spite of their success means nothing.

    The only thing that sucks, aside from Arbit being put back into DPS queue after waiting 15 minute timer, is the tank and healer should have put together a premade to run all the bosses, it would be easy to do in zone. There's definitely people out there that was to complete all the bosses for the achievement regardless of dungeon difficulty. Almost none of the fills I've had in a BDV have wanted to do the secret bosses, especially when asked at the start.
    PC-NA | PvP (Gray Host & BGs) | PvE (vTrials & vDGs)
  • Sanctum74
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    It sucks they didn’t give you a chance, but then again you just laughed it off instead of trying to explain your build or skills. The other players probably sat through a long vet que and saw another player not prepared and then you just joked when they tried to ask you about it so I can’t really blame them for that.

    Instead of using it as a learning experience you make a thread calling them every name under the sun because they didn’t respect your time when you didn’t respect theirs either. Respect goes both ways.

  • marshill88
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    Sanctum74 wrote: »
    It sucks they didn’t give you a chance, but then again you just laughed it off instead of trying to explain your build or skills. The other players probably sat through a long vet que and saw another player not prepared and then you just joked when they tried to ask you about it so I can’t really blame them for that.

    Instead of using it as a learning experience you make a thread calling them every name under the sun because they didn’t respect your time when you didn’t respect theirs either. Respect goes both ways.

    yea....sure respect goes both ways, but they say respect is earned. However in this game, I use the reverse...respect is lost.

    In other words, I respect everyone I meet, I treat them well and with kindness. People I encounter don't need to earn my respect, they have it until they lose it. A bone headed move like booting someone before even a single fight after they fail the Build Monitor's self designated superiority complex loses my respect immediately.

    Sorry man, i don't have a lot of respect for booting people as soon as they queue. no respect. at all (nor do I have any impetus to grant it)
  • DarcyMardin
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    Since everyone seems to be putting in their two cents, here’s mine: I would never vote to kick someone before even starting the dungeon. Honestly, I rarely join vote kicks unless the person is being an offensive jerk or has proven themselves so hopeless at their chosen role that the dungeon is taking hours to run.

    But, as other have said, I would look a bit askance at a sword and broad 40k health healer in a PvE vet dungeon. If it was working, though, and we were doing fine on the fights, it’d be cool with me. (Note: since I usually queue as a healer, this would be unlikely to happen to me).

    If this was a difficult DLC vet dungeon, I can understand why the other players were dubious, but it’s too bad they didn’t at least give you a chance.
  • Lisa
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    Dude, I've lost count of how many times I've been kicked. One time I was running heals in Selene's Web and not long after the first boss a player using the goblin stone literally booed me using an emote. While hilarious now, at the time I thought it was unnecessary to throw salt on my wounds. I was doing my best, but it took me a while to make an effective healer. And honestly, after playing this game so long, I've learned to not take it personally.
    Blessed are those who explore the unbeaten path...
  • spartaxoxo
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    Jeremy wrote: »

    But it's not essential. You cannot determine if a healer is good or bad by looking to see if they have 40k health. As I just told you, you can still be a good healer on this game and have 40k health. That is not impossible.

    It is essential because you need to know how much damage everyone can take. A person at full health with 15k hp is in a very different spot than someone with 40k hp. So you may need to pre-heal them if you expect them to start taking damage in 10k waves.
  • jle30303
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    A lot depends on WHICH dungeon it was.

    Most original-content dungeons? Not too difficult, and the main concern would be whether your sword-and-board was going to steal boss taunts from the tank.

    DLC dungeons? Another matter ENTIRELY.
  • FantasticFreddie
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    Jeremy wrote: »

    But it's not essential. You cannot determine if a healer is good or bad by looking to see if they have 40k health. As I just told you, you can still be a good healer on this game and have 40k health. That is not impossible.

    Mmm. You can do the absolute bare minimum as a healer with 40k health, but you sacrifice a ton of actual healing power, resources, and since this is almost certainly a heavy armor build, sustain and support sets.
    Your heals will be weaker so you need to spam more of them, but your regen is pretty meh so you need to heavy attack more..... slowing you down even further.
  • marshill88
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    jle30303 wrote: »
    A lot depends on WHICH dungeon it was.

    Most original-content dungeons? Not too difficult, and the main concern would be whether your sword-and-board was going to steal boss taunts from the tank.

    DLC dungeons? Another matter ENTIRELY.

    well I agree with you, which is why I have many skills ready to activate along with an entirely other set of DPS armor in my inventory. What the elitist player who /kicks on queue fails to do is allow the person they are booting to adjust their skills/gear. There are several dungeons I have yet to even see, and I'm always happy to make adjustments mid-run for special boss mechanics.
  • GreenHere
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    I think everyone is just missing the obvious; they're all too busy quibbling over what is right and wrong and what's expected for healers in vet dungeons...

    The real reason you were kicked is because you used 'yea' when you meant 'yeah' and they said "NAY, good sir!! Off you go!"

    You just ran into the grammar police. That's what really happened! ;P






    (Because this is the internet, and it doesn't always come across clearly: THIS IS A JOKE. Everyone please remain calm!)
  • jle30303
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    You said "another set of DPS armor"... BUT that's useless when what you queued as is a healer, and what you're specced for (sword, board, heavy armour, high health, low stam and low mag) is a tank. To be frank, with that STAT setup you'd be only a mediocre DPS as well: to be veteran-level at either healing or dps, you'd need to respec your stats as well as your gear. If you don't, you're being carried, and some people don't fancy carrying a passenger.

    Want to be a healer? Dress, stat and spec for a proper healer.

    You still didn't say *which specific* dungeon you were booted from. If it was one of the simple ones like Fungal Grotto or Spindleclutch, I'd take a chance. If it was something difficult like Stone Garden or Lair of Maarselok, I'd vote-kick at once even on normal.
  • Athan1
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    While your setup was indeed more pvp-oriented, I find that extra tankiness is pretty useful for healers, especially if you're new. You can't heal if you're dead, and if you die everyone eventually dies. So better safe than sorry. As you get more experienced, you'll see that you have less need of the bulkiness :)
    Athan Atticus Imperial Templar of Shezarr
  • marshill88
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    jle30303 wrote: »
    ...., I'd vote-kick at once even on normal.

    Yea, I know. And I wouldn't vote kick someone on queue up. We're different types of players. It's a lame move in my book, always has been, always will be.

  • AuraoftheAzureSea
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    We're beating a dead horse at this point but I think it's worth repeating:

    In every role, there are minimum requirements that make you technically fit a role, like doing damage, healing, and holding aggro. There are also other requirements or bars that make you a good player: for DDs, that's maximizing your damage. For tanks, that's debuffing bosses, being self-sufficient to the best extent possible, and even optionally helping with dps/holding onto more mobs than expected since ESO has single target taunts/also buffing your team. For healers, it is debuffing enemies, buffing your team's damage (which is much better than buffing your own damage output) and adding support DPS.

    In other words, by choosing to run a PvP spec, you are being carried in the same way as a DD with 10k dps is being carried. You might meet the minimum requirements to queue for a healer role, but you are not a good healer because you are choosing not to provide all of the potential benefits to your team that you could if you wanted to.

    You might not die. Your team might be totally fine and rush through a dungeon no problem, but I guarantee you that every single run that you have done would have gone even faster and even smoother if you had chosen to use different skills. You are making every dungeon run last longer than it needs to by choosing to not spec properly and thus not contributing as effectively as you could.

    With all this being said, there are obviously a lot of factors that go into how good a player is. There are some really good players out there who can work off-meta builds but those players typically understand how the game works and are able to work in debuffs/buffs/etc. in unique and interesting ways. There are also some players who are perfectly specced and don't know what they are doing - just because you have a skill slotted doesn't mean you know when to use it! But as others have said, the things you've shown in your screenshots are really visible red flags that would understandably make some people hesitant.

    Some people are okay carrying and don't mind a dungeon taking longer. Other players would look at your build and get irritated because they *know* the dungeon will take longer and that makes them resentful because they assume players like that don't care enough to learn more about how to effectively do their role and that they do not respect other people's time. And these assumptions would in fact be true that you don't care, because that's what you've shown us here.
  • marshill88
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    Some people are okay carrying and don't mind a dungeon taking longer. Other players would look at your build and get irritated because they *know* the dungeon will take longer and that makes them resentful because they assume players like that don't care enough to learn more about how to effectively do their role and that they do not respect other people's time. And these assumptions would in fact be true that you don't care, because that's what you've shown us here.

    Friend, this just hasn't proven true in any of my experiences. The rush to complete these dungeons are insane...blitz, blitz, blitz. I don't even have time to read the quest material. So I might be wasting their precious time? What is that, like 1 minute? I'm going to go queue for a vet dungeon right now, and most likely it will be like the others....run, speed, blitz...maybe I loot a few barrels along the way, and then its over...and the TYFG appears and I'm back in the overworld.
  • mobicera
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    Lol what a joke
    Everything I said was true.
    Deal with it
    So damn sick of everything being deleted because someone wants to cry instead of facing the facts in front of them and learning from it.
  • AuraoftheAzureSea
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    marshill88 wrote: »

    Friend, this just hasn't proven true in any of my experiences. The rush to complete these dungeons are insane...blitz, blitz, blitz. I don't even have time to read the quest material. So I might be wasting their precious time? What is that, like 1 minute? I'm going to go queue for a vet dungeon right now, and most likely it will be like the others....run, speed, blitz...maybe I loot a few barrels along the way, and then its over...and the TYFG appears and I'm back in the overworld.

    You said you've ran around 20 total so far? Oh! sweet summer child, just you wait for the day when your luck with random groups runs dry. It will happen, I promise.
  • Sanctum74
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    A couple minutes longer because of a bad build, couple minutes longer for the quest, couple minutes longer to loot barrels, couple minutes longer to switch gear for different bosses.... anything else you need to hold up the group?

    But yeah it’s everyone else’s fault you choose to waste their time and rather throw insults instead of learning from your mistakes. That’s why they give us the ability to make our own groups and play with like minded people instead of expecting everyone to just adapt to what you want.

  • hizium
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    marshill88 wrote: »
    Friend, this just hasn't proven true in any of my experiences. The rush to complete these dungeons are insane...blitz, blitz, blitz. I don't even have time to read the quest material. So I might be wasting their precious time? What is that, like 1 minute? I'm going to go queue for a vet dungeon right now, and most likely it will be like the others....run, speed, blitz...maybe I loot a few barrels along the way, and then its over...and the TYFG appears and I'm back in the overworld.

    I had the same experience regarding the questing when I was a new player. What I learned was that the easiest way is to queue for the normal dungeon and tell to the group that you are questing. On normal its easier to queue with other players that haven't made the quest or players that will wait for you because the dungeon itself won't take too long.
    The thing is, the majority of people doing vet dungeon have already made the same dungeon on normal several times and are probably after one specific item or doing a pledge, in this case, they will want to do as fast as possible so then they can do more funny or challenging content.

    Now, regarding the situation of someone cheking your gear and kicking you: your build really isn't an orthodox one, however, they should at leat waited for the first boss to see if you can handle the role of a healer. I once queued with a 43k/HP DPS and the dude DESTROYED all the enemies, but this happens once in a lifetime. I don't think that would be your case (and I don't say it to make you feel bad) because you said that vet dungeon are easy (the base game ones are pretty easy, yes) but that Lair of Maarselok was troubling and by my experience (I have 3 healers and my main character is a healer) this is a pretty straight forward dungeon for healers.

    That being said, you have to understand that when we queue we not always get the party we want, not everyone will be happy. If you say you have the right to make a veteran dungeon with a gear that is not optimized for it and will probably make the dungeon last for double or triple the usual time, why the others players don't have the right to refuse to do the dungeon with you and wait for another healer? Come here on the forum and ask for advices and then refuses every single one of the advices won't solve any problem.

    People here gave their opinions based on what they know about the game, which is: vet dungeons are somewhat easy to do if the group knows how to run the dungeon and 3 players can carry the fourth player, it's improbable (although not impossible) that an unorthodox build will do right and its just not worth taking the shots, and MOST of the situations can be solved with good communication. Most of the readers here (myself included) won't be to happy if one of the players of the group were equipped in such a way that looks like the players chose the wrong role (by mistake or on purpose, it doesn't matter) and then, when asked about it so the group can change some equips or strategies to make things work and the player just responded with "yeah yeah I'm using SnB". Most of the players (myself included) would kick you, not just because of the equipments, but because the behaviour indicates that this will be a player that won't play in group, a player that probably won't be willing to take any advices and will probably just make the dungeon last forever.
    Edited by hizium on May 12, 2021 2:25AM
  • marshill88
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    You said you've ran around 20 total so far? Oh! sweet summer child, just you wait for the day when your luck with random groups runs dry. It will happen, I promise.

    hah well it did happen once, the lair of maarselok, that was on another level i will admit. but the failure of our group wasn't soley on me (though I had never been there before). but yea, that was a hard one.
  • marshill88
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    Sanctum74 wrote: »
    A couple minutes longer because of a bad build, couple minutes longer for the quest, couple minutes longer to loot barrels, couple minutes longer to switch gear for different bosses.... anything else you need to hold up the group?

    But yeah it’s everyone else’s fault you choose to waste their time and rather throw insults instead of learning from your mistakes. That’s why they give us the ability to make our own groups and play with like minded people instead of expecting everyone to just adapt to what you want.

    no, its just their fault for making a bone headed move by booting someone the moment they queue.
  • AuraoftheAzureSea
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    marshill88 wrote: »

    hah well it did happen once, the lair of maarselok, that was on another level i will admit. but the failure of our group wasn't soley on me (though I had never been there before). but yea, that was a hard one.

    Haha yes, vDLC dungeons are their own nightmare. But there are some tough non-DLCs too.

    I used to be a huge fan of BGs and I had a templar I would run dungeons with in between, for skill points and such. If you don't want to have to swap gear, with your setup I would actually recommend running normal dungeons. I ran my BGs-focused templar as a tank since I had a sword/shield and it was super easy to just slot a taunt. And since it was normal, as long as I could do tanking fine, and I could also self-heal, AND do DPS, I could basically solo dungeons and everything went really quickly. You could queue as a healer too for normal of course.

    It's not really worth running vet randoms if you're killing time / completing quests, as someone else said earlier. Plus those DLC quests are included in that random queue, so while you could get something you'd have no trouble clearing, you could also queue for a DLC you can't handle and you're going to have to deal with grumpy groups, which it sounds like you don't want to do. It's a gamble and if you lose it sucks for both you and the group.
  • Hapexamendios
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    In a normal dungeon I wouldn't really care. In most normal vets, I wouldn't really care. In a DLC vet, I'd give you a chance and see how it works.
  • SeaGtGruff
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    IMO, you can tell the kind of player you were dealing with by two things they said:

    "is that the new meta?" - overly hung up on bis/meta

    "whose build is that?" - a follower of "expert" players' builds

    The combination of those two attitudes leaves no room for creativity, and no tolerance for the creative. You were better off without their inflexible toxicity.

    Do you know what the best part about watching that video of xynode running a dungeon with some devs was? They were all having a good time, joking with each other, even when they were wiping repeatedly. There was absolutely no toxicity, no sense of intolerant eliteness, no personal attacks. So refreshing to see that, instead of the toxicity that comes out of the woodwork whenever these types of "I got kicked" threads are posted.
    I've fought mudcrabs more fearsome than me!
  • spartaxoxo
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    marshill88 wrote: »

    no, its just their fault for making a bone headed move by booting someone the moment they queue.

    Well, it's a little of both. They are more at fault for being jerks about your build. But you also could have chosen a build that was more appropriate to the task that you're doing. I wouldn't call it disrespect that a newer player has a suboptimal build as some elitists in this thread are doing, but you should also understand that your build is something that caused trepidation for good reason, especially if it was a tougher dungeon like Maarselok rather than something easy like Fungal Grotto.

    A good dps wouldn't need much from you. But a mediocre dps would, and your own build isn't optimized either.

    I understand your defenses are up because there's a lot of people justifying rude behavior towards you. But not every point raised has been unfounded.
    Edited by spartaxoxo on May 12, 2021 3:11AM
  • blktauna
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    marshill88 wrote: »

    Friend, this just hasn't proven true in any of my experiences. The rush to complete these dungeons are insane...blitz, blitz, blitz. I don't even have time to read the quest material. So I might be wasting their precious time? What is that, like 1 minute? I'm going to go queue for a vet dungeon right now, and most likely it will be like the others....run, speed, blitz...maybe I loot a few barrels along the way, and then its over...and the TYFG appears and I'm back in the overworld.

    I hate speed runners like this. They leave everyone behind, we miss all the loot and they pull along a stream of adds that pile up somewhere and crush the last one or two in the line. Its rude and inconsiderate.
    PCNA
    PCEU
  • AuraoftheAzureSea
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    blktauna wrote: »

    I hate speed runners like this. They leave everyone behind, we miss all the loot and they pull along a stream of adds that pile up somewhere and crush the last one or two in the line. Its rude and inconsiderate.

    I like them when I'm farming gear! Which, to be fair, was pretty much every vet dungeon run I did sans pledges. The quicker the better because there was a good chance I'd already run it 10+ times. In hindsight, I probably should have chilled out a bit! :wink:
  • spartaxoxo
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    I like them when I'm farming gear! Which, to be fair, was pretty much every vet dungeon run I did sans pledges. The quicker the better because there was a good chance I'd already run it 10+ times. In hindsight, I probably should have chilled out a bit! :wink:

    I prefer speed running but will always slow down when asked and never kill needed bosses without everyone present. Just seems common sense to run the dungeon as fast as you're able to meet the group's needs. And if the group's needs mean you need to slow down, you slow down. 🐌 🤷‍♀️
    Edited by spartaxoxo on May 12, 2021 3:42AM
  • kringled_1
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    SeaGtGruff wrote: »
    IMO, you can tell the kind of player you were dealing with by two things they said:

    "is that the new meta?" - overly hung up on bis/meta

    "whose build is that?" - a follower of "expert" players' builds

    The combination of those two attitudes leaves no room for creativity, and no tolerance for the creative. You were better off without their inflexible toxicity.

    Huh? Those two comments obviously have sarcasm just rolling off them. I don't think you can particularly jump to that conclusion about those players. I mean, they are clearly from the get go mocking the OP for bringing a build not well suited for harder PVE content as a healer.
  • Hydra9268
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    So this boils down to two sides.

    Side 1. OP vetted about getting kick because they don't feel the others were justified by their (as OP saw it) bullying remarks and that OP can fill the role in a build that, quite frankly, stretches credibility.

    Side 2. The group saw OP as filling the role of healer, but OP's stats and weapons indicated anything but that role. So they kicked because they didn't want to deal with what they felt would be a disastrous run.

    And in the middle, you have people arguing for and against the kick.
    Edited by Hydra9268 on May 12, 2021 4:57AM
This discussion has been closed.