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Letterman speaks out about Dolmen grinding

adirondack
adirondack
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The other day I was harvesting mats from my month's worth of survey's, and started in Alik'r Desert for no reason other than it's first alphabetically. After grabbing my 15th wormwood I look up and ran right into David Letterman. I honestly thought he was still in India working on solving climate change, but here he was, farming dolmens just like everyone else in Alik'r. Since he's a close family friend, I walked up and asked him, "Dave, why are you farming dolmens? Is this how you want to spend your in-game time?".

Dave gives me a knowing smile, puts his hand on my shoulder as he always did when I was growing up, and said, "Ray, lemme give you my personal Top 10 list of reasons why I farm Alik'r dolmens."

10. Most intellectually stimulating zone chat
9. Hoping to soon figure out what is making those damn horses so restless
8. Love socializing with my closest friends while doing end-level content
7. Leveling in the public dungeons is way too hard
6. I can't find anyone in Craglorn who will carry me through Skyreach.
5. I left my horse in Aswala stables
4. It’s the most effective way to level mage's guild
3. All the Sentinel guild traders are the best
2. Everyone knows the best gear is in Alik'r

and the #1 reason to farm dolmens in Alik'r is:
1. Came to practice my skill rotations



So there you have it, if you ever wanted to know why people farm dolmens in Alik'r, Dave has the answer. Thanks Dave, and give my best to Paul!

Sincerely, Ray
  • Wreuntzylla
    Wreuntzylla
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    adirondack wrote: »
    The other day I was harvesting mats from my month's worth of survey's, and started in Alik'r Desert for no reason other than it's first alphabetically. After grabbing my 15th wormwood I look up and ran right into David Letterman. I honestly thought he was still in India working on solving climate change, but here he was, farming dolmens just like everyone else in Alik'r. Since he's a close family friend, I walked up and asked him, "Dave, why are you farming dolmens? Is this how you want to spend your in-game time?".

    Dave gives me a knowing smile, puts his hand on my shoulder as he always did when I was growing up, and said, "Ray, lemme give you my personal Top 10 list of reasons why I farm Alik'r dolmens."

    10. Most intellectually stimulating zone chat
    9. Hoping to soon figure out what is making those damn horses so restless
    8. Love socializing with my closest friends while doing end-level content
    7. Leveling in the public dungeons is way too hard
    6. I can't find anyone in Craglorn who will carry me through Skyreach.
    5. I left my horse in Aswala stables
    4. It’s the most effective way to level mage's guild
    3. All the Sentinel guild traders are the best
    2. Everyone knows the best gear is in Alik'r

    and the #1 reason to farm dolmens in Alik'r is:
    1. Came to practice my skill rotations



    So there you have it, if you ever wanted to know why people farm dolmens in Alik'r, Dave has the answer. Thanks Dave, and give my best to Paul!

    Sincerely, Ray

    You had me until Paul not farming dolmens with Dave.
  • Morgul667
    Morgul667
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    lol
  • SirAndy
    SirAndy
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    confused24.gif
    The Sidekick Order:
    The Naked Nords | The Cannon Fodder of Tamriel | The Mercenaries without Skills | The League of formidable Crafters
    The Psijic Order - 0.016% | Elder Moot | Lone Wolf Help | Great House Hlaalu
  • starkerealm
    starkerealm
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  • Ackwalan
    Ackwalan
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    ArchMikem wrote: »
    If this was a joke it flew over my head at 30,000 feet.

    Go back to the comedy channel, you young whipper snapper.


    Walter1.jpg
    Edited by Ackwalan on September 14, 2017 4:27AM
  • Synfaer
    Synfaer
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    THXCZke.jpg


  • ZiRM
    ZiRM
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    Who's this Letterman you speak of?
    jayleno.gif
    ESO Server Status. ( ^_^)o自自o(^_^ ) SkåL!!!!!
  • SydneyGrey
    SydneyGrey
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    adirondack wrote: »
    4. It’s the most effective way to level mage's guild
    You mean Fighter's Guild. :)

    Awesome list, though.

  • Feanor
    Feanor
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    Also everyone knows the grapes are from the Alik'r.
    Feanor the Believer - AD Altmer mSorc - AR 36 - Stormproof
    Maeglin the Dark Elf - DC Dunmer mDK (relegated to crafting duty)
    Fearscales - AD Argonian Templar - Stormproof (healer)
    Cabed Naearamarth - AD Dunmer mDK (tanking project)
    Valirion Willowthorne - AD Bosmer stamBlade
    Turuna - AD Altmer magBlade (lvl 28)
    Kheled Zaram - AD Redguard stamDK (l2DK PvP project)
    Kibil Nala - AD Redguard stamSorc - Stormproof
    Yavanna Kémentárí - AD Breton magWarden
    Azog gro-Ghâsh - EP Orc stamWarden (lvl 11)

    CP 800+. Playing PvP mostly on EU PC Sotha Sil with a wonderful guild of friends and PvE with 2 awesome German guilds
  • GodAizen
    GodAizen
    How do you leavel mages guild with dolmens?
  • Taylor_MB
    Taylor_MB
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    SydneyGrey wrote: »
    adirondack wrote: »
    4. It’s the most effective way to level mage's guild
    You mean Fighter's Guild. :)

    Awesome list, though.
    GodAizen wrote: »
    How do you leavel mages guild with dolmens?

    The joke....
    ZoS: Incentivising cash purchases > Integrity of game
    PC
    NA | CP 801+
    Taytaytatty - AD - AR37 - Stamblade - Former Emp
    Tayderp - AD - AR15 - Magplar - Stormproof
    Tayrawr - AD - AR13 - Magblade - Boethiah's Scythe - Inducer of Rage
    Nottaytay - EP - AR11 - MagDK - Boethiah's Scythe - META Tank (zzzzzzz)
    Taytayfattyy - AD - AR27 - MagSorc - Stormproof

    EU | CP 0
    NA is Down - AD - AR0 - StamDK
    MagBlade Tank Guide and Youtube
    Tay's Weekly PvP Highlights Videos
  • kargen27
    kargen27
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    GodAizen wrote: »
    How do you leavel mages guild with dolmens?

    Slowly.
  • Sevn
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    #4 was my favorite by far!
  • Flameheart
    Flameheart
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    Hilarious. An "awesome" from.
    Sometimes the prey turns and nips us... it's a small thing.

    So let the snow flakes and unicorns dance alone until they melt or vanish from existence, we will finish up with those smart enough to stay in the glowing circle of love.

    Selissi - CP 950+ Redguard Stamina Nightblade (Ebonheart Pact)
    Silmerel - CP 950+ Breton Magicka Templar (Ebonheart Pact)
    Sunja - CP 950+ Dunmer Magicka Nightblade (Ebonheart Pact)
    Suldreni - CP 950+ Dunmer Magicka Dragonknight (Ebonheart Pact)
    Sulhelka - CP 950+ Altmer Magicka Sorcerer (Ebonheart Pact)
    Sylundine - CP 950+ Breton Magicka Warden (Ebonheart Pact)







  • Slick_007
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    complete fail. you cant mention alik'r without goats.
  • adirondack
    adirondack
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    Slick_007 wrote: »
    complete fail. you cant mention alik'r without goats.

    So to be completely up front and honest, I pointed out to Dave the lack of goats in his list, because I too was skeptical about their absence. He gave a little shudder, stepped backwards. His famously solid grin melted, replaced by a look of dread, almost fear. I thought he was having a medical emergency.

    And then he said, ever so softly, almost to the point where I could barely hear, "They remind me too much of Paul."


    Ray
    Edited by adirondack on September 14, 2017 12:26PM
  • Glockcoma725
    Glockcoma725
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    Oh my lanta, OP wins the internet for the day. Possibly the week/month.
    You can find me on PC-NA under char name Maximus Dezimus Meridius. Currently living out of the Flaming Nix room in Deshaan. Blacksmithing and Provisioning are my trades, and currently serve beneath the Ebonhart Pact.
  • GreenhaloX
    GreenhaloX
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    Who the fudge is this David Letterman you're talking about? Nevermind.. who cares. Anyways, this thread seemingly portrays humor, so I will add a joke to the dolmen grinding in Alik'r and elsewhere which is overall a joke in itself.
    adirondack wrote: »

    and the #1 reason to farm dolmens in Alik'r is:
    1. Came to practice my skill rotations

    I definitely don't do dolmen group grinding, but yeah.. ha ha ha. When majority are just spamming light attacks while some others are just standing around and doing nothing. I have seen some still sitting mounted on their mount or just riding round and round the dolmen throughout the brief period that the dolmen lasted. To each their own, but there will always be slackers and shammers in real life and also in-game ESO. There will always be people who wants things quick and right now. Also, sure, definitely a good way to practice your rotations when the dolmen lasts a very brief period of time. You want a good practice of rotations, hit the world boss pit, either sololy or with another or two. Crazy arse people doing grinding; same crap repeatedly over and over again for hours on end. How is that entertainment and fun for a game?? When you constantly grinds for xp and mats, heck, it's not a game anymore then, it becomes a non-paying job. No Sir.. no thank you, Ma'am.
  • Blueforge
    Blueforge
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    Hahah, Op is spot on.

    Brilliant!!!
    Rikin Landonith - CP 660 - Stamina NB - DPS Wood Elf
    Lucius Granbrim - CP 660 - Magic Templar - Healer Imperial
    Green Toe McGee CP 660 - Stamina Dragonknight - Tank Orc
    Rai Landonith - CP 660 Stamina Warden - DPS Wood Elf

    Xbox One Gamertag - Blueforge25
    Guild - Old Men Guildmaster
  • Respect4Elders
    LOL! I don't know what's funnier, the top 10 list or the kids asking who the fudge is David Letterman.
    Edited by Respect4Elders on September 14, 2017 4:44PM
  • Respect4Elders
    Here's Dave (for the kids). Just how we'll always remember him... :)

    03-letterman-cover-story-1.nocrop.w710.h2147483647.2x.jpg
    Edited by Respect4Elders on September 14, 2017 5:14PM
  • Theodard
    Theodard
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    Oh how I miss the good old days of Letterman.
    Theodard Stenan ~ Banana Sorc


  • Rouven
    Rouven
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    Here's Dave (for the kids). Just how we'll always remember him...

    You'll remember him with the beard, really.

    I thought I heard he is coming back, something netflix?

    Of course beard and turban works good for dolmen farming in the desert.
    Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time. ~ Terry Pratchett
  • Respect4Elders
    Rouven wrote: »
    Here's Dave (for the kids). Just how we'll always remember him...

    You'll remember him with the beard, really.

    That was an inside joke - for us elders
    I thought I heard he is coming back, something netflix?

    Yeah I heard that too


  • kargen27
    kargen27
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    LOL! I don't know what's funnier, the top 10 list or the kids asking who the fudge is David Letterman.

    Not sure why people don't just answer their question.

    He was a weatherman for a local television station in Indianapolis.
  • OC_Justice
    OC_Justice
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    @adirondack
    nice one
    That was really good, looking forward to next top 10 list.
    I'm thinking something about random dungeons would be good.
    Edited by OC_Justice on September 14, 2017 7:00PM
  • NordSwordnBoard
    NordSwordnBoard
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    Letterdude is the one between Beavis and Butthead:

    hqdefault.jpg

    For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel, that no man yet has fought with it... and lived! BONES of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair! So, Brave knights! If you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth... -Tim the Enchanter
  • Ashtaris
    Ashtaris
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    Another:

    Gina Bruno was leading the Dolmen group and everyone else was just lemmings :)
  • Rohamad_Ali
    Rohamad_Ali
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    Here's Dave (for the kids). Just how we'll always remember him... :)

    03-letterman-cover-story-1.nocrop.w710.h2147483647.2x.jpg

    David Letterman turned into Gandolf ?
    Artem Deorum

    Fusozay Var Var .
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