Favorite NPC one-liners?

RooBeeO

Elden root guard,

"I bet you have to study, just to be a half-wit."

I love these put down comments, I could be on top of the world playing the game. Then get the above comment and be humbled.

FuriousFridge

None!

"Because I never payed attention to any of this stuff while questing!"

Farorin

Almost anything by any wood elf or khajiiti, I just love how they are such smart asses.

Mandrel8

@FuriousFridge - you're SO missing out then.
So many of the NPC conversations and comments are really funny.
It's nice they bothered to write these into the game - a lot of us really appreciate them!
My favourite put down is probably, 'is that smell YOU?' and my favourite NPC comment is,
'you're so sleek and lovely, it makes me want to groom myself!'

ADarklore

This was one of those... ROFLMAO moment.

Razum-Dar in Veil of Illusions quest in Greenshade.

Upon being transformed into Queen Ayrenn, Razum-Dar says:

"Hmmm. Very convincing. But is this illusion applied... everywhere? Perhaps this one should take a moment in private to doublecheck, yes?"

obscure7

"Khajiit tell M'aiq he is unlike most Khajiit. M'aiq tells Khajiit he is most like M'aiq. Then, we eat moon-sugar."

-M'aiq

Tylersoh

"and then i said, thats what she said!" I think thats how it goes

tinythinker

From the upcoming Orsinium DLC...

"The bread is delicious, no question. But real sustenance can only be found in the forest. When I consume the forest's bounty, I take in the wild.

"You don't want to be here when the wild comes out, though. Trust me."

-Unshang the Untamed at Skalar's Hostel

My thoughts: Yeah, I don't think I want to either. I'm going to go stand over there. Waaaay over there...

Jura23

"Did anyone ever tell you how nice you smell? You smell... delicious." - Rawlhka outlaws area Merchant.

Oh and the dancing Argonian in Windhelm outlaws cave has some simply hilarius stuff to tell ya when you actually talk to him. I highly recommend.

Savos_Saren

"If you're relying on wit- I'd say you're halfway there..." -Bosmer in Elden Root

tinythinker

"Walk where the echateres walk, my friend. Unless they have the flux. Then walk two paces to the right. Trust me on this." - Glurbasha (in the Rkindaleft ruins)

Sting864

riverdragon72 wrote: »

Rumba1 wrote: »

Female Bosmer guard in Rawl ka (sp?) Reapers March who says:

"come again when you can't stay so long"

as you pass by.

My favorite one

"I like the Bosmer women, they're so bendy......"

Artjuh90

the main story line has some pretty funny comments (most from abnur he can be so rude )
this one made me laugh the first time i heared it
Lyris:"You must be the ugliest princess I've ever rescued from a tower, Tharn."

Angarato

greatest thread i read in awhile. love the one liners in this game. when it comes to one liners tho nobody beats GLaDOS from portal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVlLOGL9ezE

Lizrko 33

Yolokin_Swagonborn wrote: »

"I used to be a PvP'er like you but then I took a meteor shower all the way to lagtown"

This is my new fav. Js.

Bhakura

LOOK! ...clean socks!

uso245

"I just got away from a giant... I think she wanted to mate"



she wanted snu snu.

KewaG

Basically anything Ma'aiq or Sheogorath Say but Dringoth made me laugh too with this one:

tinythinker

"She is the apple in my tart and the rabbit in my meatball!" - Rigurt the Brash

eggnogman

I get a kick out of the random female bandit who comes out of nowhere and yells Die, Die, Die, Die, Die before attacking you.

Alucardo

"Warriors are like steel; when you lose your temper, you lose your worth" - Abnur Tharn.

Probably one of the wittiest quotes I've encountered so far.

WhiteCoatSyndrome

tinythinker wrote: »

"Walk where the echateres walk, my friend. Unless they have the flux. Then walk two paces to the right. Trust me on this." - Glurbasha (in the Rkindaleft ruins)

I ran into this one last night and loved it. XD

Uneed2Stop

TSSSSSSSSS ITS THE WALKERRRRRRR INNNN SHADOWWSSSSSSSSSSS. AND IN LIGHT

newtinmpls

When you finally meet Narsis Dren..... OMG

Jura23

newtinmpls wrote: »

When you finally meet Narsis Dren..... OMG

Oh. My. God. I did only couple of quests in Orsinium so far, but this man is gold.

My favourite - I start fighting mobs, he just stands around and screams: "Aim for the knee! Aim for the knee!"

Zaldan

Xerosus wrote: »

Naryu Virian - "People reeeeally frustrate me sometimes."
She's such a babe.

Naryu Virian
"Maybe we should go upstairs so I can protect you." Who even says that? He could have complimented my eyes! Or my ... nevermind.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=QPEnEHFOvqI

Volkodav

"Dont cause any trouble,Daywalker." The first time I heard it,I thought of the movie "Blade 2".

tinythinker

"Somewhere out there, there's a customer who's desperate to consume who's desperate to consume a magical person-egg. Who am I to deny them that opportunity?" - Nednor

Soooo much great dialogue in Orsinium, I am using restraint by only posting a handful of great line. I like to think the writers check threads like this to see what hits when creating new material, but I know it's not actually true.

humpalicous

tinythinker wrote: »

From a kidnapped NPC in a cage awaiting gruesome experimentation after being freed...

"That's the last time I accept an invitation from a mysterious robed stranger."

"once I was an adventurer like you, then I..."

Oh wait, wrong game...

Still counts though?

tinythinker

newtinmpls wrote: »

When you finally meet Narsis Dren..... OMG

Yeah, I dropped and redid his quest a few times to decide which ending I wanted. He is great on many levels, not just a self-absorbed coward and braggart but also a kind of meta-commentary aimed at Elder Scrolls players. A guy who rolls in, messes with a crypt with no thought for the consequences, and expects levers/panels to lead to a boss fight and an adjacent treasure room. Some gentle poking at the fourth wall.