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Favorite NPC one-liners?

  • ShadowMage
    ShadowMage
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    Tryxus wrote: »
    "Look, we are the Queen's Eyes. We do the tasks that must be done, even if it means getting hit on the head. Killing those who do not deserve it. Riding a guar naked through an Argonian temple. ??? Raz only shares that story with veteran field agents. Perhaps another day."
    Does Raz ever share that story? This one is curious...
    Edited by ShadowMage on 16 November 2015 17:00
    PC / NA
    Thenathra - Khajiit Stormblade (Sorcerer - Dual-wield Swords/Lightning Staff)

    Several alts I've created, but haven't leveled much yet:
    Norryne - Dunmer Paladin (Templar - Two-hand Hammer/One-hand Hammer & Shield)
    Demerwei - Argonian Shadowscale (Nightblade - Dual-wield Axes/Dual-wield Daggers)
    Gohrnag - Orc Elementalist (Dragon Knight - Frost Staff/Lightning Staff)
    Kerasha - Redguard Mystic (Templar - Flame Staff/Restoration Staff)
    Alawael - Bosmer Assassin (Nightblade - Bow/Two-hand Battleaxe)
    Hjerlm the Quiet - Nord Dragonguard (Dragon Knight - One-hand Sword & Shield/Two-hand Greatsword)
  • sekhem
    sekhem
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    Someone in Wayrest said, "and I said...Thats what she said...hehehe"
    The Dr found that his stars had decayed. Why didn't he keep them in the fridge? lol

    PS4 NA dobby_of_doom
    now also PC NA...I have no idea what I'm doing...
  • KewaG
    KewaG
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    sekhem wrote: »
    Someone in Wayrest said, "and I said...Thats what she said...hehehe"

    I heard the same thing. Can't remember where but it was either Stone Falls or Orsinium.
    Nerf RNG! Nerf BoP! Buff Everything else!
    She won't leave me because I'm too ugly to kiss goodbye...
    *@KewaG - Steam and ESO. Write ESO Steam player in my comments if you want to be Steam friends.
    * PC/NA Megasever
    * Ebonheart Pact - Mostly
    * ESO is my first MMO
    * I like group dungeons
    * I Haven't played much PvP
    * Main: Golam Ralas
  • DenMoria
    DenMoria
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    "Who taught that one to fight? The God of self-punishment?"
  • KewaG
    KewaG
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    Lol, last night I had a guard say to me, "are Argonian Maidens really...you know...?"

    Long story short, "Lusty" was my favorite word last night!

    Edited by KewaG on 17 November 2015 15:32
    Nerf RNG! Nerf BoP! Buff Everything else!
    She won't leave me because I'm too ugly to kiss goodbye...
    *@KewaG - Steam and ESO. Write ESO Steam player in my comments if you want to be Steam friends.
    * PC/NA Megasever
    * Ebonheart Pact - Mostly
    * ESO is my first MMO
    * I like group dungeons
    * I Haven't played much PvP
    * Main: Golam Ralas
  • Artjuh90
    Artjuh90
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    Adusa-daro
    But if wishes were fishes, adusa would be a very happy cat
  • zornyan
    zornyan
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    "After all is said and done, more is said than done"
  • newtinmpls
    newtinmpls
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    Someone irritated female voice in IC saying that the next person who touches her stash is going to draw back a stub.

    Or is it stump? The visual is so strong in my head that I forget which term she uses.
    Tenesi Faryon of Telvanni - Dunmer Sorceress who deliberately sought sacrifice into Cold Harbor to rescue her beloved.
    Hisa Ni Caemaire - Altmer Sorceress, member of the Order Draconis and Adept of the House of Dibella.
    Broken Branch Toothmaul - goblin (for my goblin characters, I use either orsimer or bosmer templates) Templar, member of the Order Draconis and persistently unskilled pickpocket
    Mol gro Durga - Orsimer Socerer/Battlemage who died the first time when the Nibenay Valley chapterhouse of the Order Draconis was destroyed, then went back to Cold Harbor to rescue his second/partner who was still captive. He overestimated his resistance to the hopelessness of Oblivion, about to give up, and looked up to see the golden glow of atherius surrounding a beautiful young woman who extended her hand to him and said "I can help you". He carried Fianna Kingsley out of Cold Harbor on his shoulder. He carried Alvard Stower under one arm. He also irritated the Prophet who had intended the portal for only Mol and Lyris.
    ***
    Order Draconis - well c'mon there has to be some explanation for all those dragon tattoos.
    House of Dibella - If you have ever seen or read "Memoirs of a Geisha" that's just the beginning...
    Nibenay Valley Chapterhouse - Where now stands only desolate ground and a dolmen there once was a thriving community supporting one of the major chapterhouses of the Order Draconis
  • tinythinker
    tinythinker
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    "Sometimes soup really is the best medicine. Hot, tasty, and made with your own two hands! Well, not your hands. That would be disgusting."-Adryn Hlor, chef at The Brooding Elf in Serk (Deshaan)
    Experienced, new, returner? Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
    (And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)


    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this
  • ListerJMC
    ListerJMC
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    I tried to think of ones which haven't been said before:

    "Let me know if there are any lingering effects. Twitching, mainly. I'm very curious about the twitching." - Neramo, Stros M'kai

    "We unraveled the threads of this plot with skill and daring. Like unrolling a spool of yarn. Yarn... sorry. This one gets easily distracted sometimes. What were we talking about?" - Adusa-daro, Rivenspire

    "I swear, it's like being home for New Life Festival. The family's been drinking since noon, and everyone wants you dead." - Prince Naemon, Auridon
    PC NA & EU || Mammoth Guilds - Victory or Valhalla || Altmer sorcerer main
    "Wood Elves aren't made of wood. Sea Elves aren't made of water. M'aiq still wonders about High Elves."
  • Jura23
    Jura23
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    "Spend some time in the Imperial City, they said. For the Dominion, they said. ...Argh!"

    sewers gear vendor :D
    Edited by Jura23 on 24 November 2015 16:40
    Georgion - Bosmer/Templar - PC/EU
  • Yolokin_Swagonborn
    Yolokin_Swagonborn
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    "Thank you for saving my village from that big bad thing, for all of your effort here is a tiny bit of gold and some worthless decon fodder" - Every NPC Ever.
  • PrinceBoru
    PrinceBoru
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    "Have you come for my cheese?"
    15-11-2433907PMFri_Nov_20_21-08-11_CST_2015_zpsviktgtna.png
    Edited by PrinceBoru on 27 November 2015 00:58
    It ain't easy being green.
  • Dark_Aether
    Dark_Aether
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    "I like to crack skulls and eat sweetrolls...and I'm all out of sweetrolls"

    I guess he could not find bubble gum in Tamriel.
  • MerkzM8
    MerkzM8
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    "We Don't Do Loans, We're not that kind of bank." -The good ol' chap at the Elden Root Bank
    "What is better, to be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?" - Paarthurnax
  • tinythinker
    tinythinker
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    "I like to crack skulls and eat sweetrolls...and I'm all out of sweetrolls"

    I guess he could not find bubble gum in Tamriel.
    Hmm, I don't recall that one. Nice find!
    Experienced, new, returner? Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
    (And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)


    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this
  • newtinmpls
    newtinmpls
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    ✭✭✭✭
    ListerJMC wrote: »
    "Let me know if there are any lingering effects. Twitching, mainly. I'm very curious about the twitching." - Neramo, Stros M'kai

    I'm re-doing the Stros M'kai quests now that I'm also playing on the EU server (altoholic... got it bad...I know) I just love that line.
    Tenesi Faryon of Telvanni - Dunmer Sorceress who deliberately sought sacrifice into Cold Harbor to rescue her beloved.
    Hisa Ni Caemaire - Altmer Sorceress, member of the Order Draconis and Adept of the House of Dibella.
    Broken Branch Toothmaul - goblin (for my goblin characters, I use either orsimer or bosmer templates) Templar, member of the Order Draconis and persistently unskilled pickpocket
    Mol gro Durga - Orsimer Socerer/Battlemage who died the first time when the Nibenay Valley chapterhouse of the Order Draconis was destroyed, then went back to Cold Harbor to rescue his second/partner who was still captive. He overestimated his resistance to the hopelessness of Oblivion, about to give up, and looked up to see the golden glow of atherius surrounding a beautiful young woman who extended her hand to him and said "I can help you". He carried Fianna Kingsley out of Cold Harbor on his shoulder. He carried Alvard Stower under one arm. He also irritated the Prophet who had intended the portal for only Mol and Lyris.
    ***
    Order Draconis - well c'mon there has to be some explanation for all those dragon tattoos.
    House of Dibella - If you have ever seen or read "Memoirs of a Geisha" that's just the beginning...
    Nibenay Valley Chapterhouse - Where now stands only desolate ground and a dolmen there once was a thriving community supporting one of the major chapterhouses of the Order Draconis
  • ListerJMC
    ListerJMC
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    newtinmpls wrote: »
    ListerJMC wrote: »
    "Let me know if there are any lingering effects. Twitching, mainly. I'm very curious about the twitching." - Neramo, Stros M'kai

    I'm re-doing the Stros M'kai quests now that I'm also playing on the EU server (altoholic... got it bad...I know) I just love that line.

    Haha I really wanted an emote for backing away slowly when he said that, Neramo cracks me up I'm glad I'm not the only one who got a laugh out of that line :D .
    I was really happy to see him again in Orsinium, his diary entries were quality reads. No twitching, though :D
    PC NA & EU || Mammoth Guilds - Victory or Valhalla || Altmer sorcerer main
    "Wood Elves aren't made of wood. Sea Elves aren't made of water. M'aiq still wonders about High Elves."
  • tinythinker
    tinythinker
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    "Bridge is out!! My boredom washed it away." - Sheogorath
    Experienced, new, returner? Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
    (And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)


    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this
  • LearnThis
    LearnThis
    ✭✭✭
    Okay, I might mess it up a little since it is from memory but, "It's no charge to have a look."
    PSN: LearnThis
    Bosmer Nightblade (Master Crafting, everything researched)
    Dunmer Dragonknight
    Breton Nightblade
    Breton Mage
    Argonian Templar
    Norn Dragonknight
    High Elf Dragonknight

    Champion Points are capped

    ~I have completed Cadwell's Silver six times and Gold four times... Please do not tell me about the experience of leveling.~
  • LearnThis
    LearnThis
    ✭✭✭
    This cracks me up every time she says it.
    PSN: LearnThis
    Bosmer Nightblade (Master Crafting, everything researched)
    Dunmer Dragonknight
    Breton Nightblade
    Breton Mage
    Argonian Templar
    Norn Dragonknight
    High Elf Dragonknight

    Champion Points are capped

    ~I have completed Cadwell's Silver six times and Gold four times... Please do not tell me about the experience of leveling.~
  • Bebopgroove
    Bebopgroove
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    "I'm so mad I could just spit!"

    Wood Orc guard in a random stronghold in Valenwood.
  • Dreyloch
    Dreyloch
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    NPC quest giver in Orsinium says to me " You were in there so long I thought you'd never come out!"

    I chuckled hard thinking, "Yeah dude, cause..epic screen loading boss"
    "The fear of Death, is often worse than death itself"
  • Bebopgroove
    Bebopgroove
    ✭✭✭
    So on a baby DC Dragonknight I started, we're in Betnikh and I'm entering the Bloodthorn Lair with Jakarn, and as I get to the loading screen, I hear him in a faint voice say, "Why do evil lairs always smell so bad?"

    Idk, it just came out of nowhere and I found it kinda funny.
    Edited by Bebopgroove on 5 December 2015 03:01
  • Daraugh
    Daraugh
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    I can't remember his name, the bone dude on Khenarthi's Roost, Udon or Ulthor, something like that. He says "Ears that large and you still don't listen?"

    I started using that line on our German Shepherd puppy. She has to sit and stay before going outside, but tends to "forget." I told her to sit, she didn't listen and the line just slipped out. She looked at me with great big surprised puppy eyes and sat right down! It was like magic!
    May all beings have happiness
    May they be free from suffering
    May they find the joy that has never known suffering
    May they be free from attachment and hatred
  • iamnotweakrwb17_ESO
    iamnotweakrwb17_ESO
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    "Your face could curdle milk. Keep walking!"
  • theher0not
    theher0not
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    "I don't understand why everyone is so upset. Since when is it a crime to pretend to be one of the queens tax collectors?"(the best part is his voice when he says it. He sounds a little upset and surprised like if he turely doesn't understand that he did something most would consider bad)

    or
    Tigeracer wrote: »
    Anything razum dar says. I love that cat.

  • tinythinker
    tinythinker
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    ✭✭✭✭✭
    "No face can stay sad when it has one of Rigurt's most excellent gifts in its mouth." - Rigurt the Braash
    Experienced, new, returner? Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
    (And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)


    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this
  • newtinmpls
    newtinmpls
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    ✭✭✭✭
    "No face can stay sad when it has one of Rigurt's most excellent gifts in its mouth." - Rigurt the Braash

    I just adore him, and this despite having been playing a dunmer the first time I met him.
    Tenesi Faryon of Telvanni - Dunmer Sorceress who deliberately sought sacrifice into Cold Harbor to rescue her beloved.
    Hisa Ni Caemaire - Altmer Sorceress, member of the Order Draconis and Adept of the House of Dibella.
    Broken Branch Toothmaul - goblin (for my goblin characters, I use either orsimer or bosmer templates) Templar, member of the Order Draconis and persistently unskilled pickpocket
    Mol gro Durga - Orsimer Socerer/Battlemage who died the first time when the Nibenay Valley chapterhouse of the Order Draconis was destroyed, then went back to Cold Harbor to rescue his second/partner who was still captive. He overestimated his resistance to the hopelessness of Oblivion, about to give up, and looked up to see the golden glow of atherius surrounding a beautiful young woman who extended her hand to him and said "I can help you". He carried Fianna Kingsley out of Cold Harbor on his shoulder. He carried Alvard Stower under one arm. He also irritated the Prophet who had intended the portal for only Mol and Lyris.
    ***
    Order Draconis - well c'mon there has to be some explanation for all those dragon tattoos.
    House of Dibella - If you have ever seen or read "Memoirs of a Geisha" that's just the beginning...
    Nibenay Valley Chapterhouse - Where now stands only desolate ground and a dolmen there once was a thriving community supporting one of the major chapterhouses of the Order Draconis
  • AnnieBeGood
    AnnieBeGood
    ✭✭✭✭
    'I don't seem to making much progress here'

    I know how he feels.
    Gulrosa V160 Templar -healer and master crafter
    Annie Spaceshifter V160 magica NB - just a thieving assassin, now retired
    Katerina - 'Daedric Annie' - V160 Stamina DK - now bank alt, wardrobe mistress
    Anni Bee - Vet 160Templar - pvp magica templar - Daedric Lord Slayer
    Lily Malone - stam sorc - pve goddess
    Rey of Jakku Plain - Vet 160 - magica templar dd
    Savanna - magica warden, still learning to play
    and several babies...... learning to ride
    EU server, pc and All for the Pact
    Alith, the best guild in the EU
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