Controlling emotions in PVP

Greystag · December 2019

Mariusghost84 wrote: »

Controlling my emotions in PVP is at times hard. Snarky comments from others can really *** me off. This one dude in my team today went "A stamplar should be getting more kills and do more dmg than this , change your spec". I JUST made my spec , spent a LOT of time and gold on it - theorycrafting and testing the skills i wanted - and when i finally get in the action this guy come along. (snip).

First of all, if you can't handle things like these well, just minimise the chat, and if anyone is toxic towards you, you can just ignore them and you'll be unable to read what they say.

Secondly, don't react. Most of the time people who flame get off to reactions and seeing people ignoring them will either make them shut up or tilt them in return. Don't feed the troll.

Third, take breaks. If you get seriously mad at the game, turn it off and go do something else. Best is going out for a walk.

Finally, accept that maybe they're right in a way. Some people say things that in your eyes may seem offensive, but in reality they're not trying to make you mad. Look at your build again, practise with it, maybe even ask them what you're doing wrong, since they're so "smart". If they don't give you an actual answer and just repeat themselves, ignore them and move on.

Mariusghost84 wrote: »

This made me think, how do YOU control your emotions ingame while PVPing? Do you get mad when a snipe spammer kills you or you lose to someone you consider playing cheap? Do you just laugh it off when you die?

I just simply shrug it off. I'm not someone that gets easily angered by this sort of behaviours, and when I sense myself starting to get a little bit mad or frustrated, I think about how it's just not worth it. I have friends who often get actually angry at games and players and I just never have come even close to that. The worst thing you can do is take the bait, let people anger you, and keep playing without addressing that feeling.

xxthir13enxx · December 2019

Really though...
Currently, it is Not the other players that is [snip] ppl off in PVP...

3 separate times of day I tried to play yesterday

I never made it to a full hour combined

Such Fun!!!

[edited for language]

RobDaCool · December 2019

I've done ONE battleground.

We won and I came in first, so I retired on top lol

roflcopter · December 2019

Iskiab wrote: »

roflcopter wrote: »

MattT1988 wrote: »

roflcopter wrote: »

jircris11 wrote: »

I avoid pvp as it tends to be the most egotistical and toxic of the community.

Vet trial guilds by far are worse than anything that I have experienced in PVP. It's not even remotely in the same galaxy.

It’s funny. The complete opposite is true for me. Not calling you a liar or anything, it’s just strange how different our individual experiences are.

Agreed, I stopped bothering with end game vet trials. I have seen so many people kicked / left out of guilds for not meeting dps and schedule requirements. Long time members verbally abused for not following mechanics then booted and replaced real time with pugs who usually don't work out. Other members not allowed to play their own builds / gear because of missing out slightly on DPS requirements. This wasn't just one guild either for myself.

PVP you get more of the traditional tea-bagging and alliance trolls, which is generally avoidable if wanted.

But everyone has diff experiences, this was just mine.

There’s nothing toxic about anything you listed. The sooner you see that the better off you’ll be.

It being a game doesn’t change what teams are there for - to accomplish something. You’re either there to help or getting in the way.

Imagine joining a soccer league and running off in a huff when you get benched and then cut for sitting on the field picking flowers. Then running off saying people are toxic.

This is why people say participation trophies and other nonsense ruined a generation.

You already assumed that that people I described are complete drooling knuckleheads and a rock rolling over a controller would be a better fit in a vet progression trial guild and you don't see your post as toxic...

Just like different experiences, I guess some people have different definitions of toxic.

It being a game doesn’t change what teams are there for - to accomplish something. You’re either there to help or getting in the way.

But don't worry y'all, I am not toxic, you are just in my way.

Imagine joining a soccer league and running off in a huff when you get benched and then cut for sitting on the field picking flowers. Then running off saying people are toxic.

A better description would be, imagine being the captain of a pretty decent, young and growing soccer team thats been together for a while completely capable of completing. One day you see Man City walking across the street looking bored. You kick everyone and invite Man City in and expect everyone to understand while you only let your closest 2-3 other people benefit and expect others to be ok with it when y'all have just been doin fine.

Would I blame a professional team vying for big contracts and a trophy for doing this? No, thats their job.

If you are talking about youth soccer pulling a child for picking flowers in a non competitive league? Yes, thats kinda toxic. Why you would just bench and cut a child from a youth soccer team is beyond me when that stuff is just meant for activity and all kids should get playing time... lol

Royaji · December 2019

roflcopter wrote: »

A better description would be, imagine being the captain of a pretty decent, young and growing soccer team thats been together for a while completely capable of completing. One day you see Man City walking across the street looking bored. You kick everyone and invite Man City in and expect everyone to understand while you only let your closest 2-3 other people benefit and expect others to be ok with it when y'all have just been doin fine.

Sounds like someone had their feelings hurt.

Yes, I see nothing wrong with what you are describing. Trial groups are run by their raid leads. If your vision does not align with your raid lead's you just part ways. Which is exactly what you "captain" did. He wanted to go join the big leagues. There is nothing wrong with doing just fine. But there is also nothing wrong with looking for something better than "just fine".

If the story is true, you could have grabbed your "youth team" guys who were kicked out, replaced the "captain" and his friends and kept on going as a group.

roflcopter · December 2019

Sounds like someone had their feelings hurt.

Hey, some people like to earn their achievements, some others like to be carried.. You like to be carried. Nothing wrong with that.

Yes, I see nothing wrong with what you are describing. Trial groups are run by their raid leads. If your vision does not align with your raid lead's you just part ways. Which is exactly what you "captain" did. He wanted to go join the big leagues. There is nothing wrong with doing just fine. But there is also nothing wrong with looking for something better than "just fine".

I am sorry you feel that being carried by a meta is more important than maybe teaching someone mechanics and letting people go through the motions of progression? You probably didn't earn any of your stripes like we did.

If the story is true, you could have grabbed your "youth team" guys who were kicked out, replaced the "captain" and his friends and kept on going as a group.

We did grab our "youth team" and migrated to PVP and continued as a group, and haven't looked back since.

Again, you assume that any players involved are complete drooling knuckleheads and a rock rolling over a controller would be a better fit in a vet progression trial guild or any kind of competitive personality or skin runs.

Chicharron · December 2019

juhislihis19 wrote: »

Work on your self-esteem. Go to the gym, mingle with a girlfriend/boyfriend, do whatever makes you happy and confident.

It's the insecure people who rage and insult others online, and in real life as well. Many of such people online, are teenagers and they are notoriously insecure at themselves so that they get worked up by a video game. Then there's the ones who never grow up as persons, and maintain their obnoxious insecurities throughout adult life.

When you are confident of yourself, you really don't care what others spit at you in an online game, or in real life.

Totally agree.

My nephew (who lives with me) was on his way to becoming one of those toxic players.

So I put him to train with me 3 times a week, it was not easy, more than once I wanted to return it with his father, 6 months later he already has his girlfriend and now he sees video games as they should be: just a hobby (unless you are professional but it is not the case).

Many people have depression and do not know, exercise and Snu Snu, they are the best medicine.

Goregrinder · December 2019

Iskiab wrote: »

roflcopter wrote: »

MattT1988 wrote: »

roflcopter wrote: »

jircris11 wrote: »

I avoid pvp as it tends to be the most egotistical and toxic of the community.

Vet trial guilds by far are worse than anything that I have experienced in PVP. It's not even remotely in the same galaxy.

It’s funny. The complete opposite is true for me. Not calling you a liar or anything, it’s just strange how different our individual experiences are.

Agreed, I stopped bothering with end game vet trials. I have seen so many people kicked / left out of guilds for not meeting dps and schedule requirements. Long time members verbally abused for not following mechanics then booted and replaced real time with pugs who usually don't work out. Other members not allowed to play their own builds / gear because of missing out slightly on DPS requirements. This wasn't just one guild either for myself.

PVP you get more of the traditional tea-bagging and alliance trolls, which is generally avoidable if wanted.

But everyone has diff experiences, this was just mine.

There’s nothing toxic about anything you listed. The sooner you see that the better off you’ll be.

It being a game doesn’t change what teams are there for - to accomplish something. You’re either there to help or getting in the way.

Imagine joining a soccer league and running off in a huff when you get benched and then cut for sitting on the field picking flowers. Then running off saying people are toxic.

This is why people say participation trophies and other nonsense ruined a generation.

Exactly, you're either there to win, or you're there to lose. Same with PVP, SOMEONE has to be the winner, and others have to be the loser. Sometimes losers get humiliated, that's just part of any competitive sport or game. It can definitely be humiliating when you try your best, but someone else is just that much better than you and they win then tbag you. But you just pick yourself right back up, and get back to the drawing board. Eventually it will be you dropping tbags everywhere, winning.

ZOS_RogerJ · December 2019

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Veinblood1965 · December 2019

How about controlling emotions in the forums? Not sure about PVP but here it would be a nice change of pace.

Iskiab · December 2019

roflcopter wrote: »

Sounds like someone had their feelings hurt.

Hey, some people like to earn their achievements, some others like to be carried.. You like to be carried. Nothing wrong with that.

Yes, I see nothing wrong with what you are describing. Trial groups are run by their raid leads. If your vision does not align with your raid lead's you just part ways. Which is exactly what you "captain" did. He wanted to go join the big leagues. There is nothing wrong with doing just fine. But there is also nothing wrong with looking for something better than "just fine".

I am sorry you feel that being carried by a meta is more important than maybe teaching someone mechanics and letting people go through the motions of progression? You probably didn't earn any of your stripes like we did.

If the story is true, you could have grabbed your "youth team" guys who were kicked out, replaced the "captain" and his friends and kept on going as a group.

We did grab our "youth team" and migrated to PVP and continued as a group, and haven't looked back since.

Again, you assume that any players involved are complete drooling knuckleheads and a rock rolling over a controller would be a better fit in a vet progression trial guild or any kind of competitive personality or skin runs.

I’m not assuming people are knuckleheads, it was an exaggerated example to illustrate a situation.

At the end of the day no one can tell you how to play or who you have to play with. If someone wants to play X spec they can no problem, or make progression low priority.

By the same token if someone wants people to group with at the same commitment level, there’s nothing wrong with removing people who don’t demonstrate the commitment.

There’s no difference between a competitive sports team and raiding guilds. Both are free to choose. Low attendance, poor team attitude, blaming others for their failings, these are all reasons for hardcore guilds to remove people. There’s nothing toxic about it.

DUTCH_REAPER · December 2019

I’ve been removed from guild. It happened in a flash. One minute I was in. The next. I was gone. All I got was an email saying I have no standards.

I still cry myself to sleep at night

Kolzki · December 2019

Veinblood1965 wrote: »

How about controlling emotions in the forums? Not sure about PVP but here it would be a nice change of pace.

Wait... the forums aren't pvp?

mayasunrising · December 2019

tldr; Just. Breathe.

This is a really great question @Mariusghost84 .

Managing emotions (and I'm Pisces too! So...yeah. lol) in PvP for me was actually one of the biggest factors contributing to me becoming a better fighter. It wasn't a matter of my build, or the skills I was using. I also have a condition that causes my body to release too much adrenaline in stressful situations, so I start to get shaky and eventually go into a sort of dis-associative state. The longer a fight lasted - especially smaller fights - the less able I would become to get off combos or even deal with being in the fight. Forget about 1v1s. I would become jelly. lol This has been an issue for me irl and in-game ever since I was introduced to PvP (Ultima Online)

When i started playing ESO, I really wanted to be better at PvP - because sucking for almost two decade was getting to me. lol.

So I joined up with a great teaching guild. I share with one of them my issue of getting overwhelmed. They told me that they were that way too and practicing conscious, deep breathing during long battles really helped. So I tried it.

Any time I would get into a battle - maybe every 30 seconds or so - I would inhale deeply through my nose, and they breath out through my mouth slowly (about twice the amount of time it took me to inhale). I found that doing so not only calmed me, but because I was consciously paying attention to my body (my physical form) that it halted the movement to the dissociative state.

Over time, I started to find that I naturally stayed calmer in fights. I was more able to assess and respond to my situation, and the times when I felt the whoosh of adrenaline were less and less. Now it's really rare that I feel overwhelmed.

Am I a great pvp'er now? No. But I am light years from where I was. I'd say maybe fair to middling. I give better than I get in many situations. I still suck at 1v1s and I think I always will. But I think that's more because they're not my thing. I like group fights and AvA and see myself more in a support role - be it healing or laying down AoE damage. So it works for me.

Anyway, so long-winded! Sorry! But thank you for asking the question and starting and interesting conversation!

mayasunrising · December 2019

Haquor wrote: »

Three things are certain.

1: I WILL die a lot. A lot.

2: I will *** up a lot.

3: Some people are just *** but that is thier issue.

I love this. It's similar to what my in-game mentor first said to my about pvp, really is SO helpful.