Controlling emotions in PVP

Mariusghost84 · December 2019

Iskiab wrote: »

Mariusghost84 wrote: »

AlanTheDragonLord wrote: »

It's just pixels on the screen. There are other, more important things that are worth getting upset about. But not pixels.

I just dont comprehend this type of thinking. This makes absolutely no sense to me. Real life is just atoms. Your point being that as long as something happens on a PC/digitally it has no emotional value? For me its all equally strong emotions, doesn't matter if they are onscreen, irl, face to face with someone - its all experiences.

@Mariusghost84

It’s a perspective to take that actually helps you in pvp. I agree with Alan big time on this one.

Think about why the person’s sending the message in the first place. They are angry and venting, or they are doing it to get you off your game. The way to do well in pvp is like sports, stay loose but focused. I bet you’re playing tight and stressed where your play is being effected by your emotions.

I used to see this a lot in pve and pvp. Sub 10% wipes where everything goes off the rails when you’re about to beat a hard encounter, in pvp people lose focus and are all over the place when fighting hard engagements. It’s one of the reasons why the spazzy raid leaders are always in good guilds but never great guilds.

It’s where the expression choking comes from. Focus more on having fun and stay loose and your play will improve.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I will definitely focus more on... staying focused and sharp. As you said, after me getting pissed about that comment i preformed even worse!

BNOC · December 2019

Everyone goes through the emotions when playing any multiplayer game but I always see it this way:

The only thing that gets me borderline annoyed is bad players on fully assisted builds that get carried, but even then, I've played long enough to know they're being carried.

If someone messages me or gives me grief, I'm under the impression that they're impressed with me - Especially if I've just beaten them or come out of a BG with big damage etc.

For that reason I literally don't message anyone, I face up against tough guys all the time in duels, win and lose (usually both) but if they beat me fair, then that's what it is until next time.

I watch people lose to me follow it up by shouting abuse at me, telling me the class is OP, telling me the abilities are OP, tell me I've got no skill, tell me I need to change class, or whatever. Then they dig straight into their bags and change their build and sometimes even their CP, just to fight me.

Any annoyance I had before that point literally disappears.

Though, in our duel spot that is full of top tier players that probably expect and are expected to be the best, I see a lot more GG's than hate, on both sides of the outcome.

And I receive way more positive messages than rage personally, if anything, people can't control their happiness to lose to you - That or it's some disguised questioning "What's your build" "The damage is insane" etc.

Narvuntien · December 2019

Well I know I am going to die... a lot.
So I am more concerned about where and when I die.

In Cryo, I am focused on the Marco game, on moving around following the flow of the game to be where I need to be. Being a PUG group leader is super fun and rewarding and how I personally do as a player doesn't matter but the effectiveness of my small group is more important.

I don't play much BGs but typically I just focus on small goals like getting A kill, 1 shotting someone etc.

Iskiab · December 2019

Mariusghost84 wrote: »

Iskiab wrote: »

Mariusghost84 wrote: »

AlanTheDragonLord wrote: »

It's just pixels on the screen. There are other, more important things that are worth getting upset about. But not pixels.

I just dont comprehend this type of thinking. This makes absolutely no sense to me. Real life is just atoms. Your point being that as long as something happens on a PC/digitally it has no emotional value? For me its all equally strong emotions, doesn't matter if they are onscreen, irl, face to face with someone - its all experiences.

@Mariusghost84

It’s a perspective to take that actually helps you in pvp. I agree with Alan big time on this one.

Think about why the person’s sending the message in the first place. They are angry and venting, or they are doing it to get you off your game. The way to do well in pvp is like sports, stay loose but focused. I bet you’re playing tight and stressed where your play is being effected by your emotions.

I used to see this a lot in pve and pvp. Sub 10% wipes where everything goes off the rails when you’re about to beat a hard encounter, in pvp people lose focus and are all over the place when fighting hard engagements. It’s one of the reasons why the spazzy raid leaders are always in good guilds but never great guilds.

It’s where the expression choking comes from. Focus more on having fun and stay loose and your play will improve.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I will definitely focus more on... staying focused and sharp. As you said, after me getting pissed about that comment i preformed even worse!

Body and mind are connected too. Sometimes just standing up and shaking out tension helps too. Play loose.

swippy · December 2019

we're all gonna die in PvP, a lot. there's a good reason they throw so many soul gems at us everywhere we go. no player ever has had a deathless run to Emperor.

i showed up in Cyrodiil with no skill and no talent. you've done TONS of preparation with the class grinding and the research, and that puts you on great standing to understand the basics. but do also understand that that's the basics. it really sets you up to readily understand how you died. that's a huge advantage you've got, but it still takes a lot of runtime to turn your understanding into a playstyle that'll win all the time.

you're going up against folks who knew all that stuff the day you started. some of these folks have fallen asleep playing, drooled into their controller, and learned how to get kills with the broken one before they replaced it. some folks just have an insight. some folks can do that thing where they distract their opponent to throw off their game.

PvP is all about learning how to counter as many things as you can. you might decide to focus on the skill of shrugging off any provocation that doesn't help your focus. if you thrive under pressure, then it's a matter of deciding if it's worth the emotional investment. (WARNING: Do not undertake any new PvP regimen before consulting with your doctor.) just discard the elements that aren't useful. ZOMETIMES THE ENEMY TO BE CONQUERED IS WITHIN ONESELF haha

i can't help sometimes getting blindsided. if i get beat by 3 guys by myself, and then i learn there was a 4th one i didn't see, just shrug that off. but if it's just those 3 guys -- even if i wouldn't have beaten any in a duel -- i'm replaying it in my head until i can imagine something that would have kept me alive 1 second longer. or were we head-to-head? did she control the terrain better than me? was her burst really that much better? why?

same thing for people giving advice. make use of what you can; the rest is something else. sometimes advice is coming from the wrong person, or delivered poorly (i'm risking that here) and that's not something you have to take with you. i don't think you need other people inflicting feelings on you. pick up your hand and brush that off your shoulder and have all the fun of engaging in competition with people who are also having fun.

Mariusghost84 · December 2019

Reading your rational respones has really calmed me down and definitely given me a more positive outlook for my future pvp`ing. I really appriciate it. I read every single one of your posts

juhislihis19 · December 2019

Work on your self-esteem. Go to the gym, mingle with a girlfriend/boyfriend, do whatever makes you happy and confident.

It's the insecure people who rage and insult others online, and in real life as well. Many of such people online, are teenagers and they are notoriously insecure at themselves so that they get worked up by a video game. Then there's the ones who never grow up as persons, and maintain their obnoxious insecurities throughout adult life.

When you are confident of yourself, you really don't care what others spit at you in an online game, or in real life.

The Uninvited · December 2019

Mariusghost84 wrote: »

Iskiab wrote: »

Mariusghost84 wrote: »

AlanTheDragonLord wrote: »

It's just pixels on the screen. There are other, more important things that are worth getting upset about. But not pixels.

I just dont comprehend this type of thinking. This makes absolutely no sense to me. Real life is just atoms. Your point being that as long as something happens on a PC/digitally it has no emotional value? For me its all equally strong emotions, doesn't matter if they are onscreen, irl, face to face with someone - its all experiences.

@Mariusghost84

It’s a perspective to take that actually helps you in pvp. I agree with Alan big time on this one.

Think about why the person’s sending the message in the first place. They are angry and venting, or they are doing it to get you off your game. The way to do well in pvp is like sports, stay loose but focused. I bet you’re playing tight and stressed where your play is being effected by your emotions.

I used to see this a lot in pve and pvp. Sub 10% wipes where everything goes off the rails when you’re about to beat a hard encounter, in pvp people lose focus and are all over the place when fighting hard engagements. It’s one of the reasons why the spazzy raid leaders are always in good guilds but never great guilds.

It’s where the expression choking comes from. Focus more on having fun and stay loose and your play will improve.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I will definitely focus more on... staying focused and sharp. As you said, after me getting pissed about that comment i preformed even worse!

Also, don't let the "bloodthirst" get you too much. What I mean by that is, don't storm back into battle after you just have been killed thinking "I am going to kill that son of a...!!!" You will not be focused and die again.

I see some players just rushing out of a keep main gate after just being killed and expecting a different outcome, just to die over and over again.

Iskiab · December 2019

The Uninvited wrote: »

Mariusghost84 wrote: »

Iskiab wrote: »

Mariusghost84 wrote: »

AlanTheDragonLord wrote: »

It's just pixels on the screen. There are other, more important things that are worth getting upset about. But not pixels.

I just dont comprehend this type of thinking. This makes absolutely no sense to me. Real life is just atoms. Your point being that as long as something happens on a PC/digitally it has no emotional value? For me its all equally strong emotions, doesn't matter if they are onscreen, irl, face to face with someone - its all experiences.

@Mariusghost84

It’s a perspective to take that actually helps you in pvp. I agree with Alan big time on this one.

Think about why the person’s sending the message in the first place. They are angry and venting, or they are doing it to get you off your game. The way to do well in pvp is like sports, stay loose but focused. I bet you’re playing tight and stressed where your play is being effected by your emotions.

I used to see this a lot in pve and pvp. Sub 10% wipes where everything goes off the rails when you’re about to beat a hard encounter, in pvp people lose focus and are all over the place when fighting hard engagements. It’s one of the reasons why the spazzy raid leaders are always in good guilds but never great guilds.

It’s where the expression choking comes from. Focus more on having fun and stay loose and your play will improve.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I will definitely focus more on... staying focused and sharp. As you said, after me getting pissed about that comment i preformed even worse!

Also, don't let the "bloodthirst" get you too much. What I mean by that is, don't storm back into battle after you just have been killed thinking "I am going to kill that son of a...!!!" You will not be focused and die again.

I see some players just rushing out of a keep main gate after just being killed and expecting a different outcome, just to die over and over again.

God this is so true. Sometimes when I see this it drives me nuts. Just wiped to a tough encounter, yea let’s rush back in and not prepare or group up.

Defilted · December 2019

Controlling your emotions in any competitive environment takes practice and ever growing maturity.

Attitude is helpful here and will allow your control to come easier but does not determine success.

Best way to start down the path is to blame yourself for every death and not another player/s regardless of how you were defeated. Every death is a learning experience and is valuable.

JobooAGS · December 2019

Whenever I get a hate tell I am like General Grevious “ANOTHER TO ADD TO MY COLLECTION!!”

wild_kmacdb16_ESO · December 2019

When doing PVP just play in offline mode. Rarely will you get a message from other players that isn’t garbage, and this has the added bonus of essentially making them waste their time typing a hate tell that can’t get through.

If a teammate starts taking trash just ignore list them; if they are *** in a pvp match then I assume they are outside of it so no desire to ever interact with them.

kojou · December 2019

Just appreciate the anarchy.

I just ignore people unless they actually have something constructive to say.

Langdon64 · December 2019

For me, I believe that kind of toxicity is a form of cyber-bullying from people who are complete failures in real life. You can always close your chat pane, and just go out there and have fun. Seriously, don't let the opinions of a total stranger upset you. They mean nothing. Right?

Kagukan · December 2019

Negative comments directed at you are like a mini PvP game. If you respond with anger they beat you, you lost that battle. Be smarted and win that mini game. Don't respond in a way they expect, or even better, don't respond at all.

L_Nici · December 2019

@Langdon64 They mean nothing if they are just directed at you, but in my case for example they started to attack the people who played with me, then took them in their own guild and then started to say, that I could play with them as well if I would just do this or that, so it is not directed against me, while they in the same time asured me I would never ever get him back.
Quote": Isn't it lovely how we push you out of the game without anyone having your back"

And as i told him that he started to insult me called me dumb af, just because they said to him otherwise and then proceeded to block me.

MincVinyl · December 2019

Did I miss the git good comment? I'm surprised, tbh I had to go back through twice to make sure. Usually threads like this dissolve into random *** talking.

The_Lex · December 2019

kargen27 wrote: »

I keep a silky handkerchief (treasure item) in my bag and when someone sends me a snarky message I usually send them a link to the hanky and tell them to dry their tears. I get awful comments back almost every time but I can laugh about those because I caused them. Twice I got an unexpected good response after sending the handkerchief. For the most part though lots of swearing.

Pure genius!!

Kel · December 2019

The only thing that makes me upset when I die, is when a person I kill repeatedly is the one that comes over to tea-bag me when I get caught out.

I was just on the outside of Alesia, and I was fighting 1v1 with a guy....or trying to. He ran ran ran....ran me into about 4 others. THEN of course he wanted to fight...🤣

Long story short they got me in the end, but I caught the runner no less that 4 times. Just couldn't stop the rez'es and still have the stam to do damage.

No one else tea-bagged except the dude who ran and was caught out 4 separate times.

THAT is what gets my goat. WTF are you doing?
You should be embarrassed....all you literally did was repeatedly die, what are you supposed to be bragging about? lol

Neoauspex · December 2019

I agree with the general sentiment of this thread: it's just a game. We're pretty lucky to even have the opportunity to entertain ourselves this way. But one aspect of your question that should not be overlooked is "how do I deal with criticism?" And that's a very complicated art whether it's related to entertainment or not.

It can be very easy to dismiss criticism when the delivery is vicious or the source is unexpected like in your example. Try to dismiss the viciousness but retain the information so you can evaluate it's validity and react to it. In the same way that danger causes fear, you're still way better off acknowledging the danger.

Sandman929 · December 2019

I don't think there are any easy answers. It doesn't do any good to tell someone who reacts emotionally to not do so. How could I tell someone to not feel what they feel?
If there's something about you that you don't like, it's on you to change it. Personally, I stopped enjoying negative attention (trolling, insults, etc) a long time ago, but some people thrive on it. You choose to participate in that negative attention cycle with people who enjoy it, or you don't.

React · December 2019

First you l2p, then you get gud, then YOU become the one making the snarky comments.

It's simple, really.

redlink1979 · December 2019

xxthir13enxx wrote: »

Meh... deaths in this game are more
Player vs Server than PvP

Agree, lag is deadly af

PS - For some this is just a game, for others this is a second life... lol

My advise: Don't worry, be happy!

Agenericname · December 2019

PvP isn't really something that I get emotional over. It's fun and I really enjoy it, but I don't get too worked over it often. I consider it all a learning process. Every fight, every match, every siege, it's all the same. If I lost, there was a way to improve. If you beat me, you showed me how to improve.

I agree with @Neoauspex, but in this case, if that is a true reflection of what was said, there is hardly anything useful in it. It's basically communicating that you're not meeting their expectations. If its entertaining, enjoy it. If it can be used constructively, learn from it. The rest isn't so important .

Cavedog · December 2019

Practice. Get good. Then kill them.

Shantu · December 2019

I'm an emotional person by nature. Concepts such as respect and honor (and conversely dishonor and disrespect) have meaning and affect whether encountered face to face or interacting with another human being via pixels. There was a period of about 6 months I was totally into PVP. Honestly, I had some great and thrilling times defending and taking keeps. But the toxicity I encountered just accumulated to the point I had to ask myself whether the experience was more or less fun. By that time the answer was obvious.

Personally, I think the experience of PVP would on the whole be much more positive if such behavior were reportable and moderated. There's no need for it. If it were, many more would stick with the PVP experience. But as it stands, it's something I, and many others, just choose to avoid.

ImSoPro · December 2019

I’m usually high when I play so my anger and frustration is usually under wraps. I roll up in the morning and play before work and then I roll up after work and play at night. I’m already a naturally competitive person being an athlete all my life so when I game I get pissed anyway without any toxicity from players. And if I start getting rekt in PVP then I’ll just put in MW and go destroy people on there since I’m actually elite in that game.

I never really experience much toxicity anyway. I think I’m pretty decent at PVP but not top tier where I’m getting hate whispers but I don’t suck where I’m getting “git gud” whispers. What really gets me hot though is when I’m tryna bar swap and it doesn’t swap and I end up wasting precious resources on a FB ability when I needed my BB heals and buffs. That gets me killed 99% of the time when it happens. I don’t look at my bars when I play, I know where all my skills are so when it doesn’t bar swap that really kills me.

Or vice versa when I’m on my BB and I think I’ve barswapped to my FB and I start tryna fire off abilities and I’m doing no damage but my mag pool is rapidly depleting. I look down at my bar and ahhh I’m spamming heals. Gotta love it.

cheifsoap · December 2019

Controlling your emotions in general comes with age. If you're raging its because you're immature, which is fine - it's normal. One thing you'll learn as you get older is when you've hit your mental "limit", you'll walk away. Walking away in this sense is turning off the game and doing something else.

IndianaJames7 · December 2019

Mariusghost84 wrote: »

My journey to become good in PVP is a struggle. I have leveled all classes both stam and mag to get an overview over their capabilities, with the endgame goal to know them all enough to know how to react in PVP. I am now at the point where i started to get some good kills against new and moderate players in BGs. Against good players, i have no chance.

Controlling my emotions in PVP is at times hard. Snarky comments from others can really *** me off. This one dude in my team today went "A stamplar should be getting more kills and do more dmg than this , change your spec". I JUST made my spec , spent a LOT of time and gold on it - theorycrafting and testing the skills i wanted - and when i finally get in the action this guy come along. (snip).

This made me think, how do YOU control your emotions ingame while PVPing? Do you get mad when a snipe spammer kills you or you lose to someone you consider playing cheap? Do you just laugh it off when you die?

(edited for profanity and inappropriate content)

Let the hate flow. PvP was made for salty tbags. :P

Rave the Histborn · December 2019

Mariusghost84 wrote: »

AlanTheDragonLord wrote: »

It's just pixels on the screen. There are other, more important things that are worth getting upset about. But not pixels.

I just dont comprehend this type of thinking. This makes absolutely no sense to me. Real life is just atoms. Your point being that as long as something happens on a PC/digitally it has no emotional value? For me its all equally strong emotions, doesn't matter if they are onscreen, irl, face to face with someone - its all experiences.

It shouldn't be equally strong emotions as one world exists and one doesn't. I mean would you be equally aggressive to people if you were playing Monoploy even though it'd be more real than ESO.

I'd also like to point out that he might not be wrong about your build either. If you "JUST" made your spec, finished your armor etc. Then you aren't done theory crafting. It just means you actually have to test it now