Does this game make you impolite?

Schemering · July 2016

This is a very insightful post. Apparantly you have the capacity of selfreflection so in your case i wouldnt be too worried. It is helpful ofc to hang around with polite people. Im not religious but a quote said to be from Jesus is "show me who your friends are and i tell you who you are" and it does seem to apply universally.

Araviel2 · July 2016

Humans have a very strong group mentality, we could almost call it a hive mind of sorts,
our feelings are contagious and they spread if we are not aware.
this is why we perceive that hate breeds hate, or why we laugh when someone else does.

So naturally if you are staying allot in a toxic environment it has a high chance to infect you too.
some are more easily exposed than others however, and that may depend on how much they balance it whit other exposure or their level of awareness.

THEDKEXPERIENCE · July 2016

I play this game to lower my blood pressure. Seriously every other game I have can potentially turn me into a rage monster (looking at you NBA2K) but not ESO. I think I've rage quit once in 2+ years and that had everything to do with how someone was acting, not the game itself.

BlackSparrow · July 2016

SantieClaws wrote: »

Does living in Tamriel make khajiit impolite? No khajiit does not think so.

Do the elves make khajiit impolite? The mean, stinky, snooty, floaty, nose in air, bossy booty elves?

Not a bit.

Yours with paws
Santie Claws

Spoken like a s'wit.

It's not your base personality that's being affected... it's the way your personality interacts with your environment. Yes, being in a toxic environment can definitely put you more on your toes and make you more liable to see attacks where there are none.

A couple possible solutions:

Take a break from the game.
Is it just PvP doing this? Take a break from PvP. Run some dungeons with some guildies, or explore an area you haven't in a while.
Are your guilds or friends contributing to the toxicity? It may be time to trim some of the rotting branches.
Try to figure out what the behaviors you want to stop are, and take steps to correct yourself. Are you speaking without thinking? Develop a habit of waiting a breath before you state an opinion, just to review what it might sound like from the other point of view.

So yeah, while personalities can change over time, it's rarely one small thing like a video game that does it. But your mood and outlook can be affected by your social group... so if you don't like what that group is doing to you, you need to adjust who your social group contains, in whatever way that means.

Brrrofski · July 2016

Absolutely not.

I can distinguish between life and the game. Plus if a game got me that annoyed, i'd turn it off.

DocFrost72 · July 2016

The game makes me happy. These forums, however...

vamp_emily · July 2016

Good advice.

It is definitely not PvE, I go there sometimes when I need a break or new armor. I don't recall being mean to anyone ( except for the annoying guy in group dungeons that was belittling everyone ). It is definitely PvP that is causing my problem. However, i don't think I could give up PvP for PvE.

Luigi_Vampa · July 2016

This game doesn't make me impolite. I treat people as I would treat them if they were standing infront of me. To do anything else is cowardice. I don't insult or yell at people in chat and I just don't respond to toxic people.

Stridig · July 2016

When I feel the PvP frustration I take a break. I go farm monster sets and motifs. The gold I get from the motifs always makes me feel better. The set items I get from dungeons are happy times as well. PvP is much more fun for me with good dungeon sets.

BenLocoDete · July 2016

It is great that you showed up and made a post about your feelings, so many people then came and tried to help and share theirs. Thanks for that.

Korah_Eaglecry · July 2016

vamp_emily wrote: »

Recently I have been a very bad person to several people. I say rude things without really thinking about what I am saying.

What is wrong with me? Is it the game that is causing my shift in behavior? I really feel that the people I play with are causing my personality change. I play PvP everyday and the chat can be some times toxic.. then I become toxic.

I need help .. I think i might need a break.

No its not the game. Its just you. Welcome to reality, youre not that nice of a person.

Jimmy · July 2016

Maelstrom Arena makes me a very bad person

DenMoria · July 2016

vamp_emily wrote: »

Recently I have been a very bad person to several people. I say rude things without really thinking about what I am saying.

What is wrong with me? Is it the game that is causing my shift in behavior? I really feel that the people I play with are causing my personality change. I play PvP everyday and the chat can be some times toxic.. then I become toxic.

I need help .. I think i might need a break.

If ignoring people and reporting them is rude, sure, then I'm rude. 90% of the time I realize it's children being the rudest and it's just easiest to ignore them. Besides, it's a game.

I gave up responding when I realized that most of the time, when I used words with more than one syllable, they became confused and resorted to grunting.

Thank goodness there are so many awesome people too, until, of course, you reach near end-game and the elitists come out of the woodwork and make fun of you for not being the "Uber" Players they are. Or they just kill you. Either way - it hurts my feelings.

Stridig · July 2016

Korah_Eaglecry wrote: »

vamp_emily wrote: »

Recently I have been a very bad person to several people. I say rude things without really thinking about what I am saying.

What is wrong with me? Is it the game that is causing my shift in behavior? I really feel that the people I play with are causing my personality change. I play PvP everyday and the chat can be some times toxic.. then I become toxic.

I need help .. I think i might need a break.

No its not the game. Its just you. Welcome to reality, youre not that nice of a person.

Not true

Jimboo84 · July 2016

To answer this subject; No.
There's a difference between RL and gaming.

CapnPhoton · July 2016

vamp_emily wrote: »

Recently I have been a very bad person to several people. I say rude things without really thinking about what I am saying.

What is wrong with me? Is it the game that is causing my shift in behavior? I really feel that the people I play with are causing my personality change. I play PvP everyday and the chat can be some times toxic.. then I become toxic.

I need help .. I think i might need a break.

It could be the game but it could be other things as well. I don't want to make light of your situation but as an example in my own life, there are a few people around me that talk to same way, however one is quite hostile about it. They blame an external source or person for their behavior. Whether or not it is a contributing factor, you are in charge of yourself and your own life. So take charge of it and responsibility and act differently.

Graydon · July 2016

It's just a game. If a make-believe world of pixels is affecting real life behavior for the worse, it's time to find another hobby.

Nifty2g · July 2016

No it's not the game, it's the Internet

Totalitarian · July 2016

ESO probably makes me nicer than I am IRL.

But I used to play League of Legends, and in the weeks before me buying ESO and playing it, I noticed that I was getting a bit short with everyone in game.

I am not one to get mad, because it is generally just a game, but because I had gotten to the point in League that I knew exactly what I was doing, seeing others make poor calls got me angry, thankfully I never said anything.

I've gotten to the point in ESO where I'm aware of I and others are doing, but I don't get mad if a mistake gets made. Only thing that gets me angry is having to wait when someone needs to go pee after wiping on a boss, and having to wait as the boss stares me down, but that's more impatience than anything.

Nestor · July 2016

I am rude to my characters all the time. Constantly yelling at them for not moving when they should or being on the wrong bar or drawing aggro too early. I will let them have it mercifully. Yes, the fact that I am yelling at myself is not lost on me here.

I do tell people I am grouped with that if they hear me yelling it is not them I am berating, but my character.

Other players, I am never or try to never be rude to them. I do reserve the right to express some salty language to a harvest node stealer, but I am rarely on TS or Discord when I am farming.

me_ming · July 2016

vamp_emily wrote: »

Recently I have been a very bad person to several people. I say rude things without really thinking about what I am saying.

What is wrong with me? Is it the game that is causing my shift in behavior? I really feel that the people I play with are causing my personality change. I play PvP everyday and the chat can be some times toxic.. then I become toxic.

I need help .. I think i might need a break.

This is exactly the reason why I left League of Legends and moba games in general. I really hoped this game was different. And it was at some point.

Phinix1 · July 2016

Totalitarian wrote: »

Only thing that gets me angry is having to wait when someone needs to go pee after wiping on a boss, and having to wait as the boss stares me down, but that's more impatience than anything.

Molag Kena: "The mortals dare challenge us when they cannot even defeat their own bladder!"

*Passes out lemonade to the mortals*

*Maniacal laughter*

Totalitarian · July 2016

Phinix1 wrote: »

Molag Kena: "The mortals dare challenge us when they cannot even defeat their own bladder!"

*Passes out lemonade to the mortals*

*Maniacal laughter*

*in the middle of Molag Kena fight*

Player: "Hold on Kena, gotta pee."

Group: "No!"

*Player pees into the fire ring around the arena*

That's basically what it feels like.

Dracane · July 2016

Same here, it's happening.
But since I am playing in the Imperial City most of the time, I just see being exposed to Cold Harbour for so long as the reason.
I mean, everything is so depressing in this city. You get crazy eventually. Not only lore wise, but in reality.

Grunim · July 2016

I generally spend much of my gaming time in Cyrodiil and have done so for quite a long time. I even leave zone chat on when I play and there are tons of folks who are decent fun-loving folks. There are just a few individuals (I won't name names) who I have on ignore because they don't have anything I find valuable to listen to.

I suggest that the OP takes a break from the game until September when many folks return to school or their normal occupations and when that hot sticky weather diminishes for those of us in the northern hemisphere. Humans in general tend to be crabbier when they get hot and don't get enough sleep

Luigi_Vampa · July 2016

Dracane wrote: »

Same here, it's happening.
But since I am playing in the Imperial City most of the time, I just see being exposed to Cold Harbour for so long as the reason.
I mean, everything is so depressing in this city. You get crazy eventually. Not only lore wise, but in reality.

You basically live down there, don't you?

kadar · July 2016

vamp_emily wrote: »

Recently I have been a very bad person to several people. I say rude things without really thinking about what I am saying.

What is wrong with me? Is it the game that is causing my shift in behavior? I really feel that the people I play with are causing my personality change. I play PvP everyday and the chat can be some times toxic.. then I become toxic.

I need help .. I think i might need a break.

It's not ESO. It's the degree of anonymity that the internet provides. Really brings out peoples true colors by removing the need for self-control or restraint. We can say what we think without any actual consequences.

vamp_emily · July 2016

Grunim wrote: »

don't get enough sleep

This could be my problem.

Luigi_Vampa · July 2016

The_Outsider wrote: »

vamp_emily wrote: »

Recently I have been a very bad person to several people. I say rude things without really thinking about what I am saying.

What is wrong with me? Is it the game that is causing my shift in behavior? I really feel that the people I play with are causing my personality change. I play PvP everyday and the chat can be some times toxic.. then I become toxic.

I need help .. I think i might need a break.

It's not ESO. It's the degree of anonymity that the internet provides. Really brings out peoples true colors by removing the need for self-control or restraint. We can say what we think without any actual consequences.

Pretty much. I always try to keep in mind if what I'm saying online is in line with what I would say if the guy was standing in front of me.

yodased · July 2016

vamp_emily wrote: »

Milvan wrote: »

Have you ever played mobas? Because ESO community is like Kindergarten compared to LOL, DOTA, SMITE etc.

No this is the first game really that I have played. I don't think anything in real life is causing the issue.

Here is an example that made me realize I am having issues.

Yesterday in PvP, one of our home keeps was flagged. So I got in chat and requested people to show up. Then some guy says something and I quickly replied with "Well if you knew anything... ".

I did say sorry but I am starting to see a pattern of my bad behavior.

This is basically in and of itself the problem with toxic behavior and the lack of punishment for that behavior.

Most people do not have the self control and introspective nature to see this within themselves, so kudos for that. Understanding and realizing a change in ones own behavior is one of the best signs of mental stability and health.

That being said, this won't get 'better'. You will eventually find youself in the pit of despair surrounded by the others as low as you are, this is the cycle. This is why being "mean" should not be allowed in PvP, you should have opponents, not enemies.

I am not saying rainbows and flowers, but decency and respect go a long way.

It only takes one toxic person to infect everyone, but kindness usually is not so spreadable, it takes constant work and diligence to bring people up, but it takes 1 person 1 second to bring them down.

Chin up, smile on and know that you just need to go outside and spend some time with a dog, you will be fine.