Does this game make you impolite?

vamp_emily · July 2016

Recently I have been a very bad person to several people. I say rude things without really thinking about what I am saying.

What is wrong with me? Is it the game that is causing my shift in behavior? I really feel that the people I play with are causing my personality change. I play PvP everyday and the chat can be some times toxic.. then I become toxic.

I need help .. I think i might need a break.

drakhan2002_ESO · July 2016

Yeah, you need help. It could be your pesonality. It could RL events. You're probably some "crazy person" and just don't know it yet. Who knows?

Take a break to see if fixes your rudeness problem...if it does, stay away from the game...if not, look elsewhere in your life...

Milvan · July 2016

Have you ever played mobas? Because ESO community is like Kindergarten compared to LOL, DOTA, SMITE etc.

Tryxus · July 2016

- Take a break from MMOs
- Play single player games
- Drink some tea
- Meditate for 15 mins each day
- Don't talk to people called Sheogorath or Sanguine
- Don't visit the ESO forums

That should help

SahrotRein · July 2016

I experience the same thing... of a sort. We also share the same avatar, that must mean something, lol.

Anyway, I also see myself hating everything I see on the players around me, whether they are strangers, friends or guildmates, I just get irritated with a lot of things. Such as chit chat little talks, people asking others how was their day without obviously caring as much, they just want to make dull conversations. People from one of my previous guilds were doing this daily, the whole chat was just full of this and people greeting each other regularly without actually leading the conversation further, I hated it so much that one day I've just typed: "Can't do this anymore." and left.

This whole thing wasn't as bad before ESO. I've taken almost a month break recently, it does help a bit.
I can just suggest you to leave the game for a few weeks and play single-player games instead, they really offer a great distraction. I got "stuck" playing the whole Mass Effect trilogy for a month and it felt great coming back to ESO after that break.

Everyone needs to take a pause from any MMO once in a time.

Rohamad_Ali · July 2016

No the game doesn't do that to people . Being in DC does that to people .

vamp_emily · July 2016

Milvan wrote: »

Have you ever played mobas? Because ESO community is like Kindergarten compared to LOL, DOTA, SMITE etc.

No this is the first game really that I have played. I don't think anything in real life is causing the issue.

Here is an example that made me realize I am having issues.

Yesterday in PvP, one of our home keeps was flagged. So I got in chat and requested people to show up. Then some guy says something and I quickly replied with "Well if you knew anything... ".

I did say sorry but I am starting to see a pattern of my bad behavior.

Hallothiel · July 2016

I always hate when asked to group just out wandering as on console the only options are 'yes' 'no' or 'later'. I feel it is rude just to say no without any explanation.....bring on console text chat.....

But am loving the language I hear in guild chat. Fruity.

Cazzy · July 2016

Nope. I'm on a constant mission to brighten someone's day

*gives bucket to throw up in*

Elara_Northwind · July 2016

I don't have this problem, I am always nice and polite to everybody, even when they are rude to me...

I actually find this to be the best way to deal with rude people in this game, because they never know how to respond and often even end up apologising, and if they continue to be rude, then I just laugh about it and ignore them

Thevorpal1 · July 2016

vamp_emily wrote: »

Recently I have been a very bad person to several people. I say rude things without really thinking about what I am saying.

What is wrong with me? Is it the game that is causing my shift in behavior? I really feel that the people I play with are causing my personality change. I play PvP everyday and the chat can be some times toxic.. then I become toxic.

I need help .. I think i might need a break.

This game can't "make" you do anything. It's a choice on how you want to react to stimuli.

You decide how you want to respond. It's not making you do it.

Own your choices and actions.

vamp_emily · July 2016

SadieJoan wrote: »

I don't have this problem, I am always nice and polite to everybody, even when they are rude to me...

I actually find this to be the best way to deal with rude people in this game, because they never know how to respond and often even end up apologising, and if they continue to be rude, then I just laugh about it and ignore them

Do you play PvP?

Ethromelb14_ESO · July 2016

You are the company you keep, but don't have to be. You probably were always like this, and just never had the outlet to express it. Maybe you're finding out who you really are. The most important part is whether or not you want to change it, and just the fact that you're asking about it, is a good sign that you do.

Don't let anything influence you unless you see the greater good in it. That's just my opinion.

Elara_Northwind · July 2016

vamp_emily wrote: »

SadieJoan wrote: »

I don't have this problem, I am always nice and polite to everybody, even when they are rude to me...

I actually find this to be the best way to deal with rude people in this game, because they never know how to respond and often even end up apologising, and if they continue to be rude, then I just laugh about it and ignore them

Do you play PvP?

Yes, often

SolarCat02 · July 2016

There's nothing wrong with needing a break from toxic people.

There is a guild I used to enjoy doing Trials with, but no longer participate with because of one very vocal person who spews insults at people. The worst part is he doesn't even mean them, he is just trying to push buttons, and will tell you that if you ask him to stop. "If you want me to stop, you have to lash back at me, because I am not stopping until you do."

So I don't do things with that group anymore.

Toxic people will wear you down, and can really change your mindset. It's a very good thing to be able to notice and step away from the problem. Don't stop being you.

And unfortunately, with people like that, it's too often others find themselves changing just to feel like they fit in.

W0lf_z13 · July 2016

I honestly think the current state of Cyrodiil ( at least from our perspective BwB ) is from the summer time with all the kids out of school playing more and the steam sale that took place.... this is why on occasion when it starts getting bad i create another chat with zone chat turned off. The arguing back and fourth and the crap talking between fellow faction members just makes it difficult to play sometimes.

Abeille · July 2016

I suggest keeping in mind that every single character you see in game is a person behind a computer/console, and not some mindless AI. Yes, even if they are acting like idiots. This might sound condescending or stupid, but I know MANY people who see other people on the internet as the computer screen, and not as actual people. Yes, it is scary once we see how far this kind of thing can go. Report and move on.

About your personality changing, I doubt it happened. There are two possibilities here:
1 - It is just the anonymity of the internet removing your inhibitions temporarily. You are only polite when there are consequences to being impolite.
2 - You got fed up with all the people being horrible to you and attacked them back. This can happen to anyone, especially after a bad day. Usually, people feel bad after this kind of explosion, when things cool down.

Still, just report and move on. I usually don't have much trouble with people on PvP because I just report and put them on ignore when they are being toxic, but things will get worse when I hit the ignore limit.

Oh and no, this game is not making me impolite. I try to be as polite as I can, because I don't like people being rude to me so I imagine other people wouldn't like me being rude to them. Also, when things on zone chat start getting crazy, I start writing little curiosities about TES lore on it until there are more people talking about lore and asking questions than people being toxic :P

vamp_emily · July 2016

SadieJoan wrote: »

vamp_emily wrote: »

SadieJoan wrote: »

I don't have this problem, I am always nice and polite to everybody, even when they are rude to me...

I actually find this to be the best way to deal with rude people in this game, because they never know how to respond and often even end up apologising, and if they continue to be rude, then I just laugh about it and ignore them

Do you play PvP?

Yes, often

My friend is like you always nice and polite.

Me on the other hand, I notice I'm getting upset quickly. Like when I am fighting against 2 factions and they won't stop coming at me. Then being attacked by several players at once for several minutes.. I can't see how anyone could maintain being kind and polite in situations like that. I think that is where my problem started. Now I see my rudeness coming out in not so stressful situations.

Giraffon · July 2016

TS is toxic. Join my guild. We are Speechless! The only downside is that the GM is sort of lazy and doesn't actually coordinate any group activities. But hey, if you catch me on a good day you might get to "listen" to me tell a story about how I trolled some other players in PvE.

My best moment this week: Running my cat-dog NB through a quest and saw a small group of 3 players pounding their way through mobs to get to the boss. I just rapid maneuvered to the boss past everything and killed him. Then I /idle5 (Superman pose) as they approach the location of the now fallen boss. After a moment of them standing there I LOL them and run off.

See? Wasn't that fun? You didn't even have to talk to me but now you can be uplifted...oh wait...that's not going to help you with your issue is it?

vamp_emily · July 2016

W0lf_z13 wrote: »

I honestly think the current state of Cyrodiil ( at least from our perspective BwB ) is from the summer time with all the kids out of school playing more and the steam sale that took place.... this is why on occasion when it starts getting bad i create another chat with zone chat turned off. The arguing back and fourth and the crap talking between fellow faction members just makes it difficult to play sometimes.

Smiles, my friend showed up

Do you think I am having issues?

Phinix1 · July 2016

vamp_emily wrote: »

I play PvP everyday...

This right here. Some of the most angry toxic people I have ever encountered in gaming tend to gravitate to the PVP side of things. That is mainly why I completely avoid participating in any aspect of it whatsoever.

I guess if you got a good guild and turned off zone chat and tells and only listened to them it might not be so bad.

mistermutiny89 · July 2016

From the first month I was on this forum I realised I needed to be a cut throat or I'd be mowed down. The community can be pretty toxic.

As some that plays Pvp on each faction the bad mouthing between factions that ensues is somewhere between entertaining and over the top.

All in all though I think just life in general makes you bitter.

Tryxus · July 2016

Abeille wrote: »

It is just the anonymity of the internet removing your inhibitions temporarily.

Thought I'd highlight this part, cuz this is the Golden Online Truth

W0lf_z13 · July 2016

I dont think u are having issues Em... I have gone off on people as well... try what i do and just make a new chat ... sometimes it helps to get away from the hateful talk that goes on in chat

threefarms · July 2016

wat?

Cazzy · July 2016

SadieJoan wrote: »

I don't have this problem, I am always nice and polite to everybody, even when they are rude to me...

I actually find this to be the best way to deal with rude people in this game, because they never know how to respond and often even end up apologising, and if they continue to be rude, then I just laugh about it and ignore them

Let's start a club

W0lf_z13 · July 2016

@Abeille made a good point
"2 - You got fed up with all the people being horrible to you and attacked them back. This can happen to anyone, especially after a bad day. Usually, people feel bad after this kind of explosion, when things cool down."

... I've accidentally blew up at Darvv once thinking it was her that said something in z-chat to only find out it was someone else ... felt like crap after... It's human nature to fight back when pushed

NordSwordnBoard · July 2016

Think about the elitist donkeys you (hopefully) detest, remember their behaviors, and be sure to avoid projecting their ugliness. Break that cycle. Their life sucks, and they concentrate their vitriol in a place where its hard to avoid & sometimes accepted. Its sometimes hard to find the right niche between casual and hardcore. Not everyone has the patience to help the village idiot out of the mud every time he falls in, but there's no need to add insult to idiocy. Idiots who refuse to learn stay in the mud with the rest of the potatoes.

The fact that you notice this as negative is a good thing, and its entirely possible its a product of your environment (guilds, Cyrodiil, how you were treated when still new). Change the environment around and see what happens. Since you don't get smug satisfaction out of insulting a stranger, you probably get more out of helping someone and having them thank you. Doing that makes you a better person to begin with, so take the high road.

And this for the funny:

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/online_gaming

SantieClaws · July 2016

Does living in Tamriel make khajiit impolite? No khajiit does not think so.

Do the elves make khajiit impolite? The mean, stinky, snooty, floaty, nose in air, bossy booty elves?

Not a bit.

Yours with paws
Santie Claws

Egonieser · July 2016

vamp_emily wrote: »

Milvan wrote: »

Have you ever played mobas? Because ESO community is like Kindergarten compared to LOL, DOTA, SMITE etc.

No this is the first game really that I have played. I don't think anything in real life is causing the issue.

Here is an example that made me realize I am having issues.

Yesterday in PvP, one of our home keeps was flagged. So I got in chat and requested people to show up. Then some guy says something and I quickly replied with "Well if you knew anything... ".

I did say sorry but I am starting to see a pattern of my bad behavior.

Naughty Emily!

Don't worry, during night time when me and my wife do PvP, our living room turns into a crude construction site, it's unavoidable. The lag and constant game issues make me swear and rage so hard sometimes it's unbelievable. Ask some of my guildmates... When I start my rant, I will go on for hours... But luckily they just laugh at it and enjoy the show to see me go off like a rocket. I mean some of the things I say some nights, if my PvP guild didn't consist of like-minded people, I would've been banned for vulgar and abusive language ages ago.

But... I only keep it within the group of people who understand my woes, I will never do this in zone chats, send someone nasty whispers or anything similar, as much as it sometimes would be necessary, I bite my tongue and remain silent and go grab a cup of tea to chill, or just alt+f4.
But it's not the people I have issues with, it's the game and Zenimax, lag, glitches, exploits, lack of balance, performance problems, a random loading screen in the middle of a keep fight etc.

W0lf_z13 · July 2016

lol @SantieClaws ALWAYS love reading ur replies