Favorite one-liners

Iki

" If you lack the claws, a sword will do, yes? "

EvilAutoTech

Of course this one is drunk but we can still make a deal, yes?

commodore64

(after pickpocketing all their items)

"I once lost an entire roast chicken, so this doesn't surprise me"

siddique

"What is this foolishness? Has your tiny mortal mind snapped?" Molag Bal at the end of the main quest.

I still remember that line four years down the road. Molag Bal is one of the greatest villians of all time.

Catulo

"Bah! To Sovngarde with you." - "Me? How about to Sovngarde with YOU?"

(Nords fighting)

Everstorm

Haskill: Oh how quaint. A mortal.

Cracks me up everytime.

purple-magicb16_ESO

M'aiq the Liar: Wood Elves aren't made of wood. Sea Elves aren't made of water. M'aiq still wonders about High Elves

Blackbird_V

Life is disease. The cure is pain.

AlnilamE

Loves_guars wrote: »

Molag at dolmens:" The skins of those you love will fly as my banners."

That is my favourite dolmen quote.


"Cry me a river. Maybe you'll float out of Craglorn."

gary.mcleodeb17_ESO

The sweet, beautiful, softly spoken and highly articulate Dunmer beauty, Trayna! Who advises you to "*** off and find your own junk pile!"
The Legend that is the Orc master of eloquent speech, Dugog! "Huh?"
The Nord Beauty that is Gulfa Red-beard, when spoken to she replies, "I'm searching for ingredients for a potion. It will make me grow a full, flowing beard. Just like my father's."
A personal fave I never tire of hearing, Molag Kena, "Lord Bal, I have the Elder Scroll! The Planemeld Obverse begins!" KILL THEM ALL! and "Run for your lives!"
Guardian Sud-Hareem: "Over there! It's Mereel!"

Rehdaun

They should have been back by now.

How many times during the new life festival did i take just one step too far from the wayshrine and hear that?
Too many

twev

"Give me all your gold, or I'll beat you with your own tail".

"Yes, thank-you for pointing that out."

Castagere

I just did a quest where the NPC was starting a story about her lovers a horse and pudding tarts but stopped and said I didn't want to hear it. But I was staring at the screen saying yes I do.

kargen27

"Zukki is no bigot, but he thinks Argonians are the most pernicious race of odious vermin that the Divines ever suffered to crawl upon the face of Nirn. But to their great credit, at least they aren't Nords."

WhiteCoatSyndrome

"Have you not heard me? Have I not made your choice plain? You will listen, mortals … even if it means peeling the ears from your scalps and shouting Namiira's will into whatever's left of your broken skulls!"

Most memorable boss dialogue in the game.

phairdon

"Do you always interrupt people" . From one of the quests, when skipping dialogue.

Kilnerdyne

"A thousand cuts like whispers in the wind."
~ The Warrior, HRC

Tasear

Zodiac_ wrote: »

Do you know how long I've been looking for you?

Not long enough....

Reistr_the_Unbroken

"Right. Her family. The way that young woman was crying, you'd think Molag Bal himself was after her. Or someone like you.
If I had helped the Nord—and I'm not saying I did—you'd have to do a lot better than that to get me to tell you anything."

From the dark brotherhood questline

Casdha

I found this one Ironic considering all of the talk about Story being tied to the New DLCs, as well as the argument that story is wasted on those who run groups. It is the second line I heard spoken by one of the characters at the first of one of the new quests.

"Talk to them, of course, but I imagine that's not something you've often tried in your field of expertise." - Landal Gevont

Gee, ya think the writers may feel the same way and snuck this one in for fun?

FrancisCrawford

VaranisArano wrote: »

Abnur Tharn.

"It's so simple a five year old child could do it. Since we don't have a five year old child, you'll have to do."

My favorite Tharn quote was in my signature on Tamriel Foundry for a long time, but now I can't find the exact wording. It is something like:

"I doubt the God of Schemes is wasting time with idle disagreement. Perhaps we should follow his example."

laksikus

"i dont like oneliners. i only play offline mode"

General_Zeranth

"The Brothers of Strife are either elves or mountains. If one if each their mother may have some explaining to do."

This is likely badly quoted cause I'm going off memory but still my favorite quote from M'aiq.

Ertosi

"We're looking into it." -ZOS

fgoron2000

"Eeet's Clouseau...heheheh.....Keeel heem!!"

oops, wrong chat...<g>


the one-liner that still gives me a chuckle after 3 years of playing is:
"I'll have...>hic<...what I'm having."

honorable mention,
"I've got clean socks..." with the inflection going up at the end, almost as to imply a question, rather than a statement

FrancisCrawford

"The pretty one. The one with the beard."

Tabbycat

"You look like a sturdy one. Shall I treat you to my whip or my riding crop?"

GimpyPorcupine

Cadwell, after completing the Everful Flagon quest. "...but taking mead away from drunk Nords...that way lies madness."

StarOfElyon

"What do you need? Directions? There's the door."

eso_nya

"This was your healers fault!"

"Just imagine, u could die, before u were even born!" (the excitement in the voice makes it so awesome)

"Knowing you're a lion among endless hordes of baby-rearing, urinating, shoe-making sheep."

"Your disguise is terrible, by the way. You look like a character from a bad adventure novel."

"Aim for the knee!"

and a lot more