Maintenance for the week of December 2:
• PC/Mac: NA and EU megaservers for patch maintenance – December 2, 4:00AM EST (9:00 UTC) - 9:00AM EST (14:00 UTC)
• Xbox: NA and EU megaservers for patch maintenance – December 4, 6:00AM EST (11:00 UTC) - 12:00PM EST (17:00 UTC)
• PlayStation®: NA and EU megaservers for patch maintenance – December 4, 6:00AM EST (11:00 UTC) - 12:00PM EST (17:00 UTC)
• PC/Mac: NA and EU megaservers for patch maintenance – December 2, 4:00AM EST (9:00 UTC) - 9:00AM EST (14:00 UTC)
• Xbox: NA and EU megaservers for patch maintenance – December 4, 6:00AM EST (11:00 UTC) - 12:00PM EST (17:00 UTC)
• PlayStation®: NA and EU megaservers for patch maintenance – December 4, 6:00AM EST (11:00 UTC) - 12:00PM EST (17:00 UTC)
ESO Limerick Contest
-
craftycarper73✭✭✭✭✭There was a sorc called Neil
He thought he had insta-shield
He went on to cast it, to only look like he s-hat it
That was the end for NeilEdited by craftycarper73 on September 21, 2018 3:52PMBorn, Bred & Made in Manchester UK, RIP 22 Angels. 22/05/2017
PC-EU
The Place by Tony Walsh Please ReadThis is the place in the North West of England
It’s ace, it’s the best and the songs that we sing
From the stands, from our bands set the whole planet shaking
Our inventions are legends! There’s nowt we can’t make and
So we make brilliant music. We make brilliant bands
We make goals that make souls leap from seats in the stands
And we make things from steel and we make things from cotton
And we make people laugh, take the mick summat rotten
And we make you at home and we make you feel welcome
And we make summat happen, we can’t seem to help it
And if you’re looking for history then yes, we’ve a wealth
But the Manchester way is to make it yourself
And make us a record, a new number one
And make us a brew while you’re up, love. Go on!
And make us feel proud that you’re winning the league
And make us sing louder and make us believe it
that this is the place that has helped shape the world
And that this the place where a Manchester girl
Name of Emmeline Pankhurst from the streets of Moss Side
Led a Suffragette City with sisterhood pride
And this is the place with appliance of science
We’re on it, atomic, we strut with defiance
In the face of a challenge we always stand tall
Mancunians in union delivered it all
Such as housing and libraries, and health, education
And unions and co-ops, the first railway station
So we’re sorry! Bear with us! We invented commuters!
But we hope you forgive us – we invented computers!
And this is the place Henry Royce strolled with Rolls
And we’ve rocked and we’ve rolled with our own Northern Soul
And so this is the place to do business, then dance
Where go-getters and goal setters know they’ve a chance
And this is the place where we first played as kids
And me Mam lived and died here, she loved it she did
And this is the place where our folks came to work
Where they struggled in puddles, they hurt in the dirt
And they built us a city. They built us these towns
And they coughed on the cobbles to the deafening sound
Of the steaming machines and the screaming of slaves
They were scheming for greatness, they dreamed to their graves
And they left us a spirit, they left us a vibe
The Mancunian Way to survive and to thrive
And to work and to build, to connect and create and
Greater Manchester’s greatness is keeping it great
And so this is the place now we’ve kids of our own
Some are born here, some drawn here but we all call it home
And they’ve covered the cobbles, but they’ll never defeat
All the dreamers and schemers who still teem through these streets
Because this is a place that has been through some hard times
Oppressions, recessions, depressions and dark times
But we keep fighting back with Greater Manchester spirit
Northern grit, northern wit in Greater Manchester’s lyrics
And there’s hard times again in these streets of our city
But we won’t take defeat and we don’t want your pity
Because this a place where we stand strong together
With a smile on our face, Mancunians Forever
And we’ve got this* as the place where a team with a dream (*Forever Manchester)
Can get funding and something to help with their scheme
Because this is the place that understands your grand plans
We don’t do No Can Do, we just stress Yes We Can!
Forever Manchester’s a charity for people round ‘ere
You can fundraise, donate. You can be a volunteer
You can live local, give local. We can honestly say
We do charity differently, that Mancunian Way
And we fund local kids, and we fund local teams
We support local dreamers to work for their dreams
We support local groups and the great work they do
So can you …help us help… local people like you?
Because this is the place in our hearts, in our homes
Because this is the place that’s a part of our bones
‘Cos Greater Manchester gives us such strength from the fact
That this is the place. We should give something back.
Always remember. Never forget. Forever Manchester.2 -
Claire✭✭✭There once was a Nord from Othrenis
Who made poisons from violet coprinus
He wore Sload's, he wore Zaan!
He put swift jewelry on!
To make up for his lacking OP-ness.Edited by Claire on September 24, 2018 4:51PM1 -
Ragged_Claw✭✭✭✭✭
✭There once was a sorc from Elden Root
Who thought vMA was a hoot
But ZoS nerfed her shield
And she could not get healed
So she died and missed out on the loot.PC EU & NA5 -
Atallanta✭✭✭✭I am actually very glad
That pvp sorc is finaly dead
Era of jumping has come to an end
Cyro will become mag sorc free land
They can cry here or in game
Unable to hide their own shame
No more shieldstacking and thats OK
I hope these changes are here to stay
Zero skill class will cease to be
No more light armor tanking in PvP
Either adapt or go away
Stop shedding tears and L2P
If you decide to leave the game
I will pm you my account name
So you can send me some of ur stuff
I could use some financial buff
10 points!!
my favourite so far^^ @Enslaved 2 -
Galaen_Frost✭✭✭There once was a Nightblade from Beta named Frost
Whom the Meta did constantly accost
"Please don't nerf me, I don't PVP"
Yet come patch day on his arse he'll be tossed.Edited by Galaen_Frost on September 22, 2018 6:57PMWandering the lands of Tamriel, waiting for the hammer to drop.1 -
Strychnos✭✭✭I've got a couple :-)
This one is about an experience I had doing a random normal:
Once in a PUG run I did sneeze
The boss he one shot me with ease
"You lose with us" they yelled
Though it was hard to tell
As they cursed at me in Portuguese
And this one is my Argonian vampire's backstory:
A lizard, from city not mire
Kidnapped by a couple most dire
Locked away with a thud
He was kept there for blood
That's how he became a vampirelvl50 Characters:
Toxlexel (Argonian Templar PvE Healer, EP)
Grove-of-Trees-Swaying (Argonian Vampire NB PvE Tank, EP)
Kazabi-daro (Khajiit DK PvE DPS, AD)- build under renovationIroas Candaalil (Maormer [Dunmer] PvE Sorc DPS, EP, vMA build)- build under renovation
Trick-of-the-Light(Argonian Warden PvE Healer, EP)
Characters being leveled:
Meera-Ei (Argonian DK PvP Tank, EP, Grove's sister)2 -
ihazzit✭✭✭3 players to battle in Vivec
A magsorc, stam-orc, and a damn cat
DC zerged in
The last two jumped in
But the sorc said gimme a secIf you are angry about anything in this game you are only punishing yourself.3 -
trowlk✭✭✭✭One day Clavicus Vile found himself a sweetheart
But every day he has to attend his daedric business
So he left barbas to keep an eye on her woman while he is working
And Clavi calls him every day to check her status
So this is what happened one day:
The Lusty Daedric Maid
Volume 1
Clavi: Is my sweetheart there?
Barbas: *Woof... Woof*
Clavi: She is with Sheo?!
Barbas: *Woof... Woof*
Clavi: And she is on her lingerie?!
Barbas: *Woof... Woof*
Clavi: And they are on my bed?!
Barbas: *Woof... Woof*
Clavi: And what are they doing doggy!? Tell me!Barbas: *Pants*Pants*Pants*Pants*
The Lusty Daedric Maid
Volume 2
Clavi: Are they still there?
Barbas: *Woof... Woof*
Clavi: And they are drinking my whiskey?!
Barbas: *Woof... Woof*
Clavi: And listening to my music?!
Barbas: *Woof... Woof*
Clavi: Talking about me?!
Barbas: *Woof... Woof*
Clavi: And what are they doing Barbas?! Tell me! Tell me!Barbas: *Pants*Pants*Pants*Pants*
0 -
f047ys3v3n✭✭✭✭✭
✭Once were the leaderboard full,
Then the wobbler came to despoil,
Softcaps were gone, and champions all,
But they quit now I'm stuck with this fool
I am mostly pleased with the current state of ESO. Please do continue to ban cheaters though and you guys have to find out who is duping gold and how because the economy is currently non-functional.0 -
Omnia✭✭✭There once was an Orc named Fengrush,
Many enemies daily, would he crush.
“Bend the Knee”, said mi’ Lord,
Striking his foes, rather bored.
All the Covenant to his side, soon would rush.
“(Gosh darned), SPRINT BUG!!” yelled mi' Lord with a sigh
The enemy seemingly mighty and high.
Red and yellow got PAKT UP,
On their heads, would he sup.
Called to arms with a roaring battle cry.
The Dominion he vowed to defeat.
Pressing on to the scrolls in the keeps,
With Orc Army in tow,
Much havoc did they sow.
And Emperor soon would he be.
One day close to Blue Road, the Keep
A dragon would soon take a leap.
“Son of a (Breton)!” he shouted
As a warden also soon sprouted.
"No one's unbeatable!" gg, go to sleep.
He stood proud over those he had slain.
"God Bless" said our Lord as he reigned.
The Orcs bowed to their Liege
As they took out the siege.
A victory for the Sotha Sil campaign.
EDITED: for the nitpickers.Edited by Omnia on September 24, 2018 3:47PM2 -
rfennell_ESO✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭There once was a sorcerer so feared
He shielded and shielded without a peer
Then came ZOS, in with a nerf
Now the sorc, merely a serf
His account declines in arrears1 -
Saucy_Jack✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭There once was a thread about timing
of lim'ricks that have certain rhyming
Lines one, two and five
Then lines three, four; oh my
But there seems to be a ton of people who have no idea what a limerick is; please look this up it is easily googlable.ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.7 -
Crown✭✭✭✭✭
✭Amazing work so far, both here and on Discord. We'll probably keep this going through the end of September and decide on a winner early next week.Crown | AD NB | First AD/NA Grand Overlord (2015/12/26)
PvP Guides @ DarkElves.com0 -
megnin✭✭✭
A dozen, a gross, and a score
plus three times the square root of four
divided by seven
plus five times eleven
is nine squared and not a bit more11 -
paulsimonps✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭Love this thread. Made me think of this old review from Zero Punctuation, if a bit off topic, but limerick lovers will like it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHnYFP73MKE 0 -
Idinuse✭✭✭✭✭
✭There once lived a man in a bubble.
Stealing folks fun - that robbe´!
Whom, I won't say,
even if you pay.
But the name rhymes with trouble.
Sed ut perspiciatis unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem accusantium dolorem que laudantium, totam rem aperiam, eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi architecto beatae vitae dicta sunt explicabo. Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem quia voluptas sit aspernatur aut odit aut fugit, sed quia consequuntur magni dolores eos qui ratione voluptatem sequi nesciunt. Neque porro quisquam est, qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit, sed quia non numquam eius modi tempora incidunt ut labore et dolore magnam aliquam quaerat voluptatem. Ut enim ad minima veniam, quis nostrum exercitationem ullam corporis suscipit laboriosam, nisi ut aliquid ex ea commodi consequatur? Quis autem vel eum iure reprehenderit qui in ea voluptate velit esse quam nihil molestiae consequatur, vel illum qui dolorem eum fugiat quo voluptas nulla pariatur?0 -
Omnia✭✭✭Last one I promise. It was just fun to write and I was a bit bored today. My poor husband...
There once was a Khajiit stranded in Bruma,
Who found he was quite out of the Skooma.
He asked around town,
If more could be found,
And the innkeeper whispered, “…Von’Drooma.”
“Von’Drooma?” he said, making a clatter,
For they all knew, just what was, the matter.
The war-maiden was large,
And she liked to take charge,
His poor heart went pitter and patter.
“No choice, this one has”, he lamented,
So sure his doom firmly cemented.
With a cloak and a zoom,
He snuck into her room.
Eye’s lighting on bottles, fermented.
“Couldn’t resist? Eh..?.” came from behind,
As Von’Drooma lumbered in, like 2 jiit’s combined.
She took off her eye patch,
And he started to scratch,
This one must have been out of his mind.
He rushed out in the night with the Skooma,
Since he quickly snuck out of her room a’.
This one felt like a fool,
When she started to drool,
And not again would he stay there, in Bruma.
0 -
rumple9✭✭✭✭✭
✭Zos started an event called Summerfall,
With a pet, mount and a house for us all,
They put up a meter,
But the game's still in Beta,
So they sold the house behind a paywall1 -
AoEnwyr✭✭✭✭I once met a cat name Raz,
He wore tight leather pants on his ass,
When I fell from the sky
I met the Queen's Eye
So burnt all my panties and bras
(p.s. no I'm not a Furry but still Raz is a beast)0 -
cheops✭✭✭Stewart1874 wrote: »I hate these *** crown crates
Its just making me frown mate,
Stop grabbing my money
its not even funny
you really should hurry
Micro-transactions make me worry
I'd rather eat slurry, than spunk any money
Its just plain greedy, needy and seedy
Exploiting chumps, just makes you lot flumps
Less than 10 percent of the base, shouldn't bring a smile to your face!
The uptakes a disgrace!!
lol, thats rap not limerick!
good though0 -
red_emu✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭I thought this was about Limerick in Ireland. Got me excited that an Irish community exists in ESO
PC - EU:
Falathren Noctis - AD MagNecro
Falathren - AD StamSorc
Falathren Eryndaer - AD StamDen
Falathren Irimion - AD MagPlar
Talagan Falathren - AD StamDK
Falathren Infernis - AD MagDK
Your-Ex - AD MagBlade1 -
FrancisCrawford✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭Vampire Ben, in his perversity,
Turned a Southern university.
Said his nephew, "That's not nice!
Uncle Ben's converted Rice!"0 -
pod88kk✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭Did you know that there is a city in Ireland called Limerick and it's Gaelic spelling is Luimnech which means Cloak or shielded. Is this somehow a Nerf shields & Cloak thread now? ;p1 -
Amanuensis✭✭✭✭Limerick contest is over, I think. Here's one anyway:
Emeric favors miscegenation
Ayrenn's Eyes are a furry sensation
Whilst Jorunn the Skald-King
And his Pact of noob zerglings
Like Campaign pawnage and domination1 -
Crown✭✭✭✭✭
✭Contest is now closed (unless another amazing one gets submitted before prizes go out). Being as there are a few that are so amazing that I can't pick a winner for, I'm just going to split the prize between a few people. Updates shortly with winners to be confirmed!Crown | AD NB | First AD/NA Grand Overlord (2015/12/26)
PvP Guides @ DarkElves.com0