Food Poisoning

TheImperfect · July 27

I am worried of Tamriel.

All these crafters are making huge stacks of food and drinks (sometimes 30 baked potatoes or more!) and storing it in their backpacks with all sorts of nasty items like crypt ash and rotten flesh. This food is no longer fresh by the time it's shipped off and then it has to undergo an arduous journey afterwards. Are we literally food poisoning the fighters of Cyrodiil? It certainly won't taste fresh.

Syldras · July 27

I store the pre-cooked food prepared to be sent to random people in stacks of at least 50 inside the bank. So far, no one complained (which might or might not be due to them dying of food poisoning).

P.S. Crypt Ash is a wonderful seasoning.

vsrs_au · July 27

If the citizens of Tamriel do get food poisoning, then the handful of toilets that exist in all of Tamriel will become very valuable. Bring on the Three Toilets War...

SilverIce58 · July 27

I like to think our bag has a portal to some stuck-in-time pocket dimension where we can easily store 200 items and it doesn't affect us hitting the run speed cap. Everything is as the moment you put it in there, so food can't rot there, armor can't wear down, and guards can only access it if you've committed a crime.

code65536 · July 27

Our characters possess the ability to rain fire down upon our enemies and to freeze out foes in bubbles of time. I'm sure keeping food in stasis would be a trivial task for us.

freespirit · July 27

I'm more worried for my poor fighter's back as years go by......

It cannot be healthy to carry multiple Greenhouses, Stables, Dwarven Engines etc etc around all the time.

Advance booking a chiropractor now!!

Syldras · July 27

freespirit wrote: »

I'm more worried for my poor fighter's back as years go by......
It cannot be healthy to carry multiple Greenhouses, Stables, Dwarven Engines etc etc around all the time.
Advance booking a chiropractor now!!

In case you're ever near Sadrith Mora, you may stop by. I have a new machine I'd like to test.

And in case the machine doesn't work as planned, I have some new potions to test, too. Some of them even include a bit of crypt ash... I mean, I would normally have preferred mumia, but the latest delivery from Alik'r went lost somehow...

katanagirl1 · July 27

Syldras wrote: »

freespirit wrote: »

I'm more worried for my poor fighter's back as years go by......
It cannot be healthy to carry multiple Greenhouses, Stables, Dwarven Engines etc etc around all the time.
Advance booking a chiropractor now!!

In case you're ever near Sadrith Mora, you may stop by. I have a new machine I'd like to test.

And in case the machine doesn't work as planned, I have some new potions to test, too. Some of them even include a bit of crypt ash... I mean, I would normally have preferred mumia, but the latest delivery from Alik'r went lost somehow...

It’s probably like that machine in The Princess Bride that takes years off of the test subject, lol.

Tandor · July 27

Is this thread a request for limitless food bags? If so, I'd want a separate one for any fishy items. I hear that Azandar is already lobbying for a separate crafting bag for mushrooms.

Syldras · July 27

katanagirl1 wrote: »

It’s probably like that machine in The Princess Bride that takes years off of the test subject, lol.

Nah, I'm a scholar, not a torturer. I don't do this for fun, I have genuine interest in finding out whether my plans work out! Mostly. But there's nothing wrong with having a bit of fun at work, right?

katanagirl1 · July 27

Syldras wrote: »

katanagirl1 wrote: »

It’s probably like that machine in The Princess Bride that takes years off of the test subject, lol.

Nah, I'm a scholar, not a torturer. I don't do this for fun, I have genuine interest in finding out whether my plans work out! Mostly. But there's nothing wrong with having a bit of fun at work, right?

I believe that is exactly what the guy in the movie said too, lol.

spartaxoxo · July 27

A few ice wraith teeth is magically included in all food crafted in Tamriel right now. It keeps fresh and safe for a very long time. Although, because it's seen as common sense, nobody discusses it and few even know it's happening. Due to this, eventually the knowledge will be forgotten. And all but a few people will know they can use them to keep their food fresh far longer.

TaSheen · July 27

spartaxoxo wrote: »

A few ice wraith teeth is magically included in all food crafted in Tamriel right now. It keeps fresh and safe for a very long time. Although, because it's seen as common sense, nobody discusses it and few even know it's happening. Due to this, eventually the knowledge will be forgotten. And all but a few people will know they can use them to keep their food fresh far longer.

Flashback to Marise Aravel's quest in Skyrim!

spartaxoxo · July 28

TaSheen wrote: »

spartaxoxo wrote: »

A few ice wraith teeth is magically included in all food crafted in Tamriel right now. It keeps fresh and safe for a very long time. Although, because it's seen as common sense, nobody discusses it and few even know it's happening. Due to this, eventually the knowledge will be forgotten. And all but a few people will know they can use them to keep their food fresh far longer.

Flashback to Marise Aravel's quest in Skyrim!

Haha. I was hoping someone would pick that up lol

Amottica · July 28

code65536 wrote: »

Our characters possess the ability to rain fire down upon our enemies and to freeze out foes in bubbles of time. I'm sure keeping food in stasis would be a trivial task for us.

LOL

Fantasy games are about fantasy, not reality.

ArchangelIsraphel · July 28

Trust me, the denizens of Cyrodiil are so sugar high from eating about a million war tortes a day, along with chugging potions made with blood, sugar skulls, and consuming weird combinations of herbs in order to see nightblades, that food poisoning is the least of their worries.

I'd know, I'm one of them. Mmmm war tortes. Hey I'm a bosmer, canned food doesn't grow on trees y'know. You people craft to get food, I go to Cyrodiil.

And I store my war tortes in a perfectly sanitary manner, right underneath all of the boiling oil and about 500,000lbs of siege engines.

spartaxoxo · July 28

Amottica wrote: »

code65536 wrote: »

Our characters possess the ability to rain fire down upon our enemies and to freeze out foes in bubbles of time. I'm sure keeping food in stasis would be a trivial task for us.

LOL

Fantasy games are about fantasy, not reality.

LOL

Dang. I thought it was real. I was having fun discussing our real true life history. Now, I know it's all fake. What's next? Is Santa not real? 😧 Hallowjack? Dragons, in my own homeland?

/S

Syldras · July 28

ArchangelIsraphel wrote: »

Trust me, the denizens of Cyrodiil are so sugar high from eating about a million war tortes a day, along with chugging potions made with blood, sugar skulls, and consuming weird combinations of herbs in order to see nightblades, that food poisoning is the least of their worries.

Interesting. If I... I mean someone... would put them into a big extractor, squeeze them and then distill the mush, what properties might the resulting substance have?

ArchangelIsraphel · July 28

Syldras wrote: »

ArchangelIsraphel wrote: »

Trust me, the denizens of Cyrodiil are so sugar high from eating about a million war tortes a day, along with chugging potions made with blood, sugar skulls, and consuming weird combinations of herbs in order to see nightblades, that food poisoning is the least of their worries.

Interesting. If I... I mean someone... would put them into a big extractor, squeeze them and then distill the mush, what properties might the resulting substance have?

Well, If I figure in the sheer amount of spite and murderous intent that is surely left over in the bodies, my calculations predict that you would end up with the most toxic substance in the known universe.

So do you want the bodies delivered by express guar, or do you just want me to leave them by the back door?

Syldras · July 28

ArchangelIsraphel wrote: »

Well, If I figure in the sheer amount of spite and murderous intent that is surely left over in the bodies, my calculations predict that you would end up with the most toxic substance in the known universe.
So do you want the bodies delivered by express guar, or do you just want me to leave them by the back door?

Please deliver at the usual location. I'll send my apprentice to take care of it.

Oh, and in case you know a few people of... livelier disposition, who might enjoy Telvanni hospitality (you know how much I love to introduce n'wah to my people's traditions): I have a few spare guest rooms right now. Very cozy. Peacefully quiet. Always enough shade, which is especially important in summer. The perfect place for a vacation! Especially for a long-term one.