Hate whispers and toxicity

Chapilliams · October 2020

So, I was just doing the daily pledges - Vet Darkshade 2. I was running it on my healer, with a tank and 2 DD's. 1 dd with 810 cp and the other around 200-ish cp.
- The 200 CP already struggled with the first trash pull and died, cause he didn't have food on. Was telling him kindly to put some food on, cause he was running at around 11K.

I noticed rather quick that the dmg was low, I was running around 30% of the dmg with my healer - Having Hollow, olo and earthgore on. So when the 200-ish CP died again on the first boss I decided this wouldn't be worth the time. I then wrote in game I was leaving 'cause it would be too much of a struggle.
- Then the 200 cp decided hate whisper me telling me to get cancer.

Save to say I am shook about this. I was looking forward to having a nice chill sunday, playing some eso - but having lost family memebers to this awful disease, that cancer is. I am now instead forced to put energy into not letting this ruin my entire day and not letting a knob like that win.
- But this is just, yet another reminder of why I cannot stand doing anything group related in game (unless it's a premade group). The fun is taken out of it when you have to hear people either wishing the worst for you or someone on your team, because they have problems with themselves and their toxicity.

I know it's almost daily you see this, either in dungeons or in zone chats.
What goes on in peoples mind to feel like they can go around saying *** like this to others?
It's just a game - isn't this supposed to be a community where you can expand and have a fun chat with others? Get to know people ect.

I would love to see the consequences for people acting this way much bigger than they are.

Can't we all just be nice to one another instead of this?

You don't know peoples stories, you don't know what they are dealing with - so with kindness you come a long way.

Grandchamp1989 · October 2020

No surprised.

The community are getting more toxic. I have gotten many hate whispers just for leaving.

Sorry it happened to you!
Some people need professional help.

Ehym · October 2020

Some people when they feel weak or stupid, they lash out to the 1000% degree to try to soothe themselves. I can understand how you must have felt, as that is really verbal assault.

Some people will say, toughen up. Well becoming callous yourself isn’t the solution. These people need to be reported so they hopefully learn a lesson that they can’t spew their emotional failings at everyone around them without recourse.

I honestly don’t pug anymore because you get so many toxic toads like this.

Chaos2088 · October 2020

I normally reply with "I like turtles" and everytime they reply with more hate i just add a really into it...

eg... "I really really really really like turtles".......

The point being to show them they can type whatever they want, its not going to bug me.

wishlist14 · October 2020

Op I am deeply sorry that you had to experience that.

Unfortunately there seems to be a lot of toxicity and aggression in our gaming culture...seems to come with the territory.
There is no excuse for abuse afcourse.

Sometimes I get tired of the toxicity..im even tired of the word ' toxicity'...it gets used so often nowdays.

You can always report people that go that bit too far with abuse. I had to put in a ticket myself recently and the zos team take it seriously...tney are very supportive. Zos don't tolerate abuse, they deal with it straight away. Please report your experience if it continues to bother you as you do not deserve to be treated like that by any player.

Take care ❤

VaranisArano · October 2020

Report it. If on console, you can probably report it to the platform as well.

Then? Ignore it as best you can. Move on with you day.

That player is selfishly frustrated because his day got a little bit rougher because he got called out by the healer leaving because it was too much of a struggle. They chose a spectacularly bad way of dealing with that frustration.

You can't do anything for them except report, having already made the best of a bad dungeon group. Might as well not let their frustration spill over into your day more than it already has.

There are always going to be people who let their frustration spill out onto others, whether weak-link groupmates or players mad I beat them to a resource node. Best thing to do is report if necessary, then carry on.

WySoSirius · October 2020

Sometimes it's best not to say anything and just leave

Xarc · October 2020

welcome to internet and online games

colossalvoids · October 2020

Tbh it's worth to set yourself offline for such an activities so no one can whisper you, especially activities involving less experienced players that can simply not understand basics (of communication also) and go pretty wild in /w.

idk · October 2020

WySoSirius wrote: »

Sometimes it's best not to say anything and just leave

As Varanis suggested, report them. However, if a player does not respond to the first whisper they probably do not care that they suck. The unfortunate effect of lowering the bar to play an MMORPG is getting players with less interest in learning how to play decent and the B2P model does lower the bar from a P2P/sub model.

Bucky_13 · October 2020

Chaos2088 wrote: »

I normally reply with "I like turtles" and everytime they reply with more hate i just add a really into it...

eg... "I really really really really like turtles".......

The point being to show them they can type whatever they want, its not going to bug me.

I need to steal that one

usually I either go with "nawww" or "lol" which either makes them madder or shuts them up

rptrainer · October 2020

This is why I rely heavily on the Golden vendor. I never run vet dungeons anymore because of that. I want to learn and experience things in eso but some people just can't stand newbies.

Swordancer · October 2020

Sounds like everyday story xD Don't bother with that. @Grandchamp1989 is right. Community few eyars ago was different. You asked on zone chat for single banana and they gave you 200 bananas and one monkey in return. Yeah there are still kind people out there but for now most of them is so smart that they just can't stand others opinions, advise. They attack right away.

Same here, write something wrong. Instead of kindly lead you out of an error, they will strike you with venom becouse you know, they don't do mistakes. xD

Tandor · October 2020

Swordancer wrote: »

Sounds like everyday story xD Don't bother with that. @Grandchamp1989 is right. Community few eyars ago was different. You asked on zone chat for single banana and they gave you 200 bananas and one monkey in return. Yeah there are still kind people out there but for now most of them is so smart that they just can't stand others opinions, advise. They attack right away.

Same here, write something wrong. Instead of kindly lead you out of an error, they will strike you with venom becouse you know, they don't do mistakes. xD

You also see them here creating poll topics. Anyone who dares to support any option but their own pre-determined outcome is immediately attacked. Any poll topic in which the OP responds personally to every comment always ends up badly.

Chapilliams · October 2020

Thanks for the kind words all!

I totally agree with everyone of you - reporting is the absolute best way to deal with it, and the person was also instantly reported.

It just sucks that people need to take their struggles and negativty towards others, because they aren't happy about themselves. I mean - would they ever go up to a person in real life and trash them, because they didn't catch the bus?
Sadly the world behind the screen doesn't share the same values and morales that real life has.

Most of the time it's easy to brush of *** in game but there are days it's harder and they hit a nerve.
There's also a huge problem when you have to either avoid anything PUG related or set yourself as offline as someone mentioned, just to play the game you pay for every month - so you won't get a hate whisper or being trashed talked by someone in your group.

There will always be people with other standards of life than yourself, and people who feel it's okay to wish other people the worst - guess my problem is that Zos aren't doing enough to sort them out, or there might just be an overweight of *** in game, 'cause people are people I guess.

Ehym · October 2020

Most wouldn’t do anything like this in person because there are repercussions...like getting punched in the face. They’re the type to rage inwardly but do nothing unless they’re 100% safe, like online.

mairwen85 · October 2020

Chapilliams wrote: »

So, I was just doing the daily pledges - Vet Darkshade 2. I was running it on my healer, with a tank and 2 DD's. 1 dd with 810 cp and the other around 200-ish cp.
- The 200 CP already struggled with the first trash pull and died, cause he didn't have food on. Was telling him kindly to put some food on, cause he was running at around 11K.

I noticed rather quick that the dmg was low, I was running around 30% of the dmg with my healer - Having Hollow, olo and earthgore on. So when the 200-ish CP died again on the first boss I decided this wouldn't be worth the time. I then wrote in game I was leaving 'cause it would be too much of a struggle.
- Then the 200 cp decided hate whisper me telling me to get cancer.

Save to say I am shook about this. I was looking forward to having a nice chill sunday, playing some eso - but having lost family memebers to this awful disease, that cancer is. I am now instead forced to put energy into not letting this ruin my entire day and not letting a knob like that win.
- But this is just, yet another reminder of why I cannot stand doing anything group related in game (unless it's a premade group). The fun is taken out of it when you have to hear people either wishing the worst for you or someone on your team, because they have problems with themselves and their toxicity.

I know it's almost daily you see this, either in dungeons or in zone chats.
What goes on in peoples mind to feel like they can go around saying *** like this to others?
It's just a game - isn't this supposed to be a community where you can expand and have a fun chat with others? Get to know people ect.

I would love to see the consequences for people acting this way much bigger than they are.

Can't we all just be nice to one another instead of this?

You don't know peoples stories, you don't know what they are dealing with - so with kindness you come a long way.

It's crap that happened, but in many ways you can turn it around. You made a decision and that response proves it was the right one--just like in pvp-land, if there isn't at least one hate whisper per session, you're doing something wrong

its no consolation, of course and it's still a totally unnecessary thing for people to do, and I doubt they'd behave the same way in person, more likely to mutter their vitriol under their breath or stick up a few fingers when your back is turned. As I said, take it as confirmation you made the right choice to leave, continuing to struggle would have devolved into a more public spectacle of toxicity imo.

Xebov · October 2020

Im not suprised. I receive some from time to time when i drop out of low dmg groups with my tank. The problem is that many players have the expectation that whatever they do will be ok and then get frustraited if tehy notice taht ppl are not willing to suffer for them.

ArchMikem · October 2020

The DD wasn't being nice with the hate whisper, though you werent being nice by abandoning the group after one Boss on a base game dungeon. Especially since you're the Healer and it would take them a long time waiting for another to queue. Not singling you out, just multiple things went wrong with your story.

The most you can do is report the player for harassment. Better if you took a screenshot of the chat log.

redspecter23 · October 2020

The player needed some assistance. It was offered in a polite manner and they declined and continued to drag the party down. It's your right to leave whenever you choose to. You have no obligation to stay and help people that don't want to help themselves.

If it were me, I would have just left and not said anything. But I'm old, cranky and hate people for the most part. What you said is the truth. It wasn't going to be worth your time to stay. Having said that, have you tried grouping with friends and guildmates rather than pure pugs? Even if at least one other person you know joins you, it gives you boot immunity which is a nice bonus.

They shouldn't have whispered what they did back to you, but it's pugs. You get a whole range of issues once you start running with them on a regular basis.

Pugs are not for reliably completing content. They are for amusement value only. Never count on them for anything and you'll never be disappointed.

precambria · October 2020

It needs to be stated that since ZOS decided to destroy the performance and balance in this game that the toxicity has increased GREATLY especially in PvP, people get grouchy when they are dealing with constant spells not working or desynchs, it wears on peoples nerves to be repeatedly killed by the servers and massively overtuned PROC sets, or getting zerged down because of 3 way battle design philosophy. People are responsible for how they conduct themselves but you cannot ignore how the poor choices of the devs impact the players.

Nothing puts people in a good mood like hearing we are getting another sweeping change content patch when there are bugs and game breaking balance issues that have been going on for many months that are not being even mentioned in the current PTS or anywhere aside from players every day all day.

zaria · October 2020

Nor run into this, tend to just leave if group is hopeless.
But yes pug dungeons often feels like this

However this guy got an worse group

BraidasNM · October 2020

Stop taking the internet srsly

Vanagrand · October 2020

xD, go IC and you will find the finnest of the comunity.

luen79rwb17_ESO · October 2020

I agree, as of late there seems to be nothing but WoW kids everywhere. This weekend alone I've been T-bagged like 3 times. Whereas I used the get T-bagged like once every 3 months before, when I used to play more.

Flaaklypa · October 2020

PvP is way way way way way way

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

worse. go in cyro sometime and see for yourself =D

no, but really, this is just a part of the game, and just like youtube, you may get mean comments, its just like that, its a single thing. And there isnt much more zos can do about it, except saying its not allowed. If this is all it takes for you to not do pug runs, then perhaps its best you stay out of it.

deleted221106-002999 · October 2020

Go in offline mode when pugging it saves most of that rubbish from happening.

Ditto with pvp.

Shame really but it's the most effective way of denying angsty child-minds a vent for such infantile antics.

phil.maricel08ub17_ESO · October 2020

luen79rwb17_ESO wrote: »

I agree, as of late there seems to be nothing but WoW kids everywhere. This weekend alone I've been T-bagged like 3 times. Whereas I used the get T-bagged like once every 3 months before, when I used to play more.

I was trying to avoid saying this, but seeing it let's me know that others also are seeing the same trend. I was an avid WoW player for many years. There came a point to where the toxicity got so bad, that it was time to hang up one of my most favorite games. After coming here, I noticed the communities were polar opposites and I was quite pleased. Fast forward to today, having irl friends that still occasionally play WoW and hearing them speak of how much of the players base there has been making the move to here, I knew it wouldn't be long before their childish, toxic antics followed. Starter zones are becoming more Barren-like more and more each day.
Anyways, to the OP, I have lost close friends to that horrible disease and I am sorry that you have to endure such hatred. It seems to be on over-whelming supply these days. Just remember, when the go low and try to bring you down, you go high!

VaranisArano · October 2020

Vanagrand wrote: »

xD, go IC and you will find the finnest of the comunity.

I get the best conversations in IC by telling the people who kill me that I like their character name.

Even if its just as simple as finding out someone's a fellow Dune fan, it does wonders to bring a little humanity to that war zone.

ArchMikem · October 2020

luen79rwb17_ESO wrote: »

I agree, as of late there seems to be nothing but WoW kids everywhere. This weekend alone I've been T-bagged like 3 times. Whereas I used the get T-bagged like once every 3 months before, when I used to play more.

I get bagged three times in a single evening.

EdmondDontes · October 2020

precambria wrote: »

It needs to be stated that since ZOS decided to destroy the performance and balance in this game that the toxicity has increased GREATLY especially in PvP, people get grouchy when they are dealing with constant spells not working or desynchs, it wears on peoples nerves to be repeatedly killed by the servers and massively overtuned PROC sets, or getting zerged down because of 3 way battle design philosophy. People are responsible for how they conduct themselves but you cannot ignore how the poor choices of the devs impact the players.

Nothing puts people in a good mood like hearing we are getting another sweeping change content patch when there are bugs and game breaking balance issues that have been going on for many months that are not being even mentioned in the current PTS or anywhere aside from players every day all day.

Yes, toxicity has gone up in direct proportion to declining game performance and poor customer service/communication.