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Bots !

  • Draekony
    Draekony
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    Yeah 300k AP for a gold jewelry or use gold.. watch some of these template videos and some dudes are multi millionaires. think i saw a guy with 20+ mil before.. insane =p
    Edited by Draekony on May 11, 2017 11:03PM
  • phairdon
    phairdon
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    Group of bots in Kerbol's Hollow, Bangkorai, PC/NA at the moment. @ZOS_GinaBruno
    Edited by phairdon on May 11, 2017 11:17PM
    Your immersion is breaking my entitlement. Buff Sorc's. Darkshroud the cremator Death by furRubeus BlackFluffy knight BladesThe Fat PantherPsijic Fungal SausageFlesheater the VileCaspian Rafferty FernsbyArchfiend Warlock PiersThe Black BishopEvil Wizard Lizard (EU)Neberra Vestige Fajeon (EU)Salanis Deathstick (EU)Blood Mage Alchemist (EU)
  • Elsonso
    Elsonso
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    phairdon wrote: »
    Group of bots in Kerbol's Hollow, Bangkorai, PC/NA at the moment. @ZOS_GinaBruno

    Yup. Three groups, actually. One of group of 4 in the back. Two overlapping groups (2 + 4, 6 total) in the area closer to the village. The ones in the back are a marvel of timing.



    XBox EU/NA:@ElsonsoJannus
    PC NA/EU: @Elsonso
    PSN NA/EU: @ElsonsoJannus
    Total in-game hours: 11321
    X/Twitter: ElsonsoJannus
  • Jollygoodusername
    Jollygoodusername
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    phairdon wrote: »
    Group of bots in Kerbol's Hollow, Bangkorai, PC/NA at the moment. @ZOS_GinaBruno

    Yup. Three groups, actually. One of group of 4 in the back. Two overlapping groups (2 + 4, 6 total) in the area closer to the village. The ones in the back are a marvel of timing.



    I found one of these groups, learned their pattern and began killing the mobs just before the bots arrived. :blush: They actually stopped for a moment, as if annoyed.
  • Muttsmutt
    Muttsmutt
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    Apherius wrote: »
    2lz9s9.jpg

    thanks for the red circles, couldn't see them otherwise

    i saw some similar bow-spamming bots at vivec's yesterday, i found it hard to believe... and this has been around for months?!
    jesus christ, what are the GMs guardin, the coffee machine?
    this absolutely unacceptable for a game the size of TESO, come on... ._.
    PC-EU // UNDEAD
  • Apherius
    Apherius
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    Muttsmutt wrote: »
    Apherius wrote: »
    2lz9s9.jpg

    thanks for the red circles, couldn't see them otherwise

    don't know if this is ironic or not , but i put red circles because sometime on the screen they are hyper packed and we can't know how much they are :/

  • Docmandu
    Docmandu
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    Apherius wrote: »
    2lz9s9.jpg

    Picture might aswell been taken in Cyrodiil... that's how a typical evening on TF/EU looks like with the likes of Zerg Squad and co
  • vamp_emily
    vamp_emily
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    I was in Bangkorai a few days in some troll tooth dungeon and spotted someone cheating. I called them out on it but of course they didn't respond.



    Edited by vamp_emily on May 12, 2017 4:47PM

    If you want a friend, get a dog.
    AW Rank: Grand Warlord 1 ( level 49)

  • SleepyTroll
    SleepyTroll
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    ESO has such a bad bot problem, go run around and do random achievements, BOTS everywhere, go do random side quests BOTS everywhere, go anywhere leather is easily farmed BOTS everywhere.

    ZOS doesn't want to admit its a problem, which makes sense from a PR perspective. So instead they make it to where clean pelt isnt effected by the double drop cp passive(lol) oh but its ok that those bots still sell 100's of stacks of raw leather daily. There are even some trade guilds that are literally nothing but bots in some of the random out of the way kiosks.

    Someone brings up BOTS zos goes "Can we have your support ticket number?" ZOS it aint my or any other players job to go around a group of 20 bots and try and report every single one.

    ZOS you have a BOT problem, sooner or later you need to acknowledge it and I'm not talking about console afkers.
    Edited by SleepyTroll on May 12, 2017 5:00PM
  • Balamoor
    Balamoor
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    Draekony wrote: »
    Unfortunately banning them will just cause them to make more "free to play" accounts and farm more right? Downsides of FTP.


    A very smart decision Arenanet made in the original Guild wars was not to put the game on sale or even reduced prices....that did a lot to slow down botting at least, because who wants to shell out 30 or 40 bucks each time your banned?
  • Minyassa
    Minyassa
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    I saw this happening, multiboxer or bot with a group of sorcs & pets with NPCs tagging along last night in Silsailen, Auridon and reported it. They were keeping the entire area clear of mobs, rude as hell.
  • burglar
    burglar
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    Apherius wrote: »
    it's time to do something about these bots i already report them and the spot , 3 times ! but they don't care , nothing have been done about them and the spot , NOTHING ! I'm tired to report them and to receive a message from the customer service to tell me that " the residents of Tamriel thank me " while my ticket is directly send to the trash .

    ZOS wouldn't ignore the issue, that's for sure. I imagine they're trying to find a way to catch a lot of them in one fell swoop, which will cause a scene, which might be needed. But, I don't know if it's good for us to speculate on how ZOS is going to catch them as we could inadvertently give cheaters ideas to hide themselves further. I'd just keep in mind that the delays are caused by the difficulty in proving that someone is cheating. Sure we can speculate, and feel pretty confident that we're right that these people are cheating when we watch them, repeatedly do the same thing with the same timing over and over again. But, speculation can only be used to try and identify what needs to be proved or disproved.
    Bosmer Melee Magicka Nightblade
  • GreenhaloX
    GreenhaloX
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    These bots are getting to be sophisticated. I ran into quite a few lowbies running around from node to node. Recently, a lvl 4 running around from node to node in Craglorn. Occasionally, it will stop in place for a second or two, then continue on. I checked the profile, and everything was zero and blank. Yet, it was able to wave and say hello on text chat, mimicking a real player/toon. Ha ha. Oh, people, people, how internet/technology have evolved..
  • Asardes
    Asardes
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    I saw some mentioning you can see player friends, achievements etc. but I don't know where you can do that. Is there an external website that allows this? I haven't seen this option in game.
    Beta tester since February 2014, played ESO-TU October 2015 - August 2022, currently on an extended break
    vMA (The Flawless Conqueror) | vVH (Spirit Slayer & of the Undying Song) | vDSA | vAA HM | vHRC HM | vSO HM | vMoL | vAS+1 | Emperor

    PC-EU CP 3000+
    41,000+ Achievement Points before High Isle
    Member of:
    Pact Veteran Trade: Exemplary
    Traders of the Covenant: God of Sales
    Tamriels Emporium: God of Sales
    Valinor Overflow: Trader
    The Traveling Merchant: Silver


    Characters:
    Asardes | 50 Nord Dragonknight | EP AR 50 | Master Crafter: all traits & recipes, all styles released before High Isle
    Alxaril Nelcarion | 50 High Elf Sorcerer | AD AR 20 |
    Dro'Bear Three-paws | 50 Khajiit Nightblade | AD AR 20 |
    Veronique Nicole | 50 Breton Templar | DC AR 20 |
    Sabina Flavia Cosades | 50 Imperial Warden | EP AR 20 |
    Ervesa Neloren | 50 Dark Elf Dragonknight | EP AR 20 |
    Fendar Khodwin | 50 Redguard Sorcerer | DC AR 20 |
    Surilanwe of Lillandril | 50 High Elf Nightblade | AD AR 20 |
    Joleen the Swift | 50 Redguard Templar | DC AR 20 |
    Draynor Telvanni | 50 Dark Elf Warden | EP AR 20 |
    Claudius Tharn | 50 Necromancer | DC AR 20 |
    Nazura-la the Bonedancer | 50 Necromancer | AD AR 20 |

    Tharkul gro-Shug | 50 Orc Dragonknight | DC AR 4 |
    Ushruka gra-Lhurgash | 50 Orc Sorcerer | AD AR 4 |
    Cienwen ferch Llywelyn | 50 Breton Nightblade | DC AR 4 |
    Plays-with-Sunray | 50 Argonian Templar | EP AR 4 |
    Milariel | 50 Wood Elf Warden | AD AR 4 |
    Scheei-Jul | 50 Necromancer | EP AR 4 |

    PC-NA CP 1800+
    30,000+ Achievement Points before High Isle
    Member of:
    Savage Blade: Majestic Machette


    Characters:
    Asardes the Exile | 50 Nord Dragonknight | EP AR 30 |
  • Xylphan
    Xylphan
    ✭✭✭✭
    There are ways to pretty much eliminate bots completely, but the methods are intrusive. Short of doing random captchas or other techniques that require real user interaction the best your going to be able to do is get rid of the stupid bots. Pattern checking can always be worked around once the botter knows what to look for. Hence why ZOS doesn't reveal their methods, as doing so would clue in the botters about how to work around the checks.

  • Nestor
    Nestor
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    Thing is, they don't need to come up with any thing sophisticated for this. Just have a GM go there and spend 5 minutes watching. There is no hint that they are anything but bots. Ban them all, clear out their inventories and banks, and hardware ban the machines they came in on. Done. Hardware ban enough machines and the bot issue is done.
    Enjoy the game, life is what you really want to be worried about.

    PakKat "Everything was going well, until I died"
    Gary Gravestink "I am glad you died, I needed the help"

  • CaffeinatedMayhem
    CaffeinatedMayhem
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    Adding a bot-related comment: I've noticed most of the obvious single player harvest bots are gone in Craglorn. I believe ZOS is actively banning accounts as they get enough tickets/evidence for the under-map variety; some days all the nodes at present at least for a little bit! However, it's never for more than 24 hours, then the same "every node is missing, constantly" sections appear. I"ve even developed new farming routes based on which nodes the bots don't harvest.

    I think ZOS does act more than 2-3 times per year, but the gold farmers don't care at this point. Google anything related to ESO and the word "gold" - like eso gold tempers. For me - all the sponsored links and ads on the page are from different gold seller organizations. If they can afford ads like that, making new accounts the next day is trivial. The first million gold sold, pays for the game purchase.
  • DMBCML
    DMBCML
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    IF ZOS does it like other games, there is a thing called "invisible". This is what GM's use when they are on game as a GM. They also have people playing standard accounts, getting to know the players, and watching for suspicious accounts. The chances of an employee being in one of your guilds is probably high. They are not allowed to identify themselves as employees to the players.

    ZOS cares deeply about botting because the player base does. They know that people will leave the game if they get tired of them, and when they go, there is no need for bots, and the botters will move on to another game.

    Botters are uniquely motivated to continue botting until they kill a game. Their code is adaptable and expandable. What is surprising is that it took them this long to overcome the well implemented anti-bot code ZOS added some time ago. I read one article by a bot coder (for profit of selling the bot program at $40 each) that he was no longer going to write for ESO because the playing community was too hostile towards botters and that ZOS was making it increasingly more difficult to get around. He said ESO players were more hostile towards botters than any other game for which he had written code.

    Not all botters are people trying to sell gold to cheating players. Some botters are people who have limited time to play, so they set the botting up so their account can level while they are at work. Then they play during their off hours. Their time is more valuable than ours, so that's ok..... they think. It's still cheating and wrong.

    Bot programs are coded to automatically check to see who is on the map, if they detect a GM, they leave. ZOS probably found a way around that. Some bot programs are designed to communicate on a very basic level with players.

    A lone bot is still able to be caught, even if it talks, waves, and so on. It's responses are pre-recorded and limited. It's when you ask complicated questions that the bot messes up and you figure out they are a bot. I have been asked several times by if I am a bot because I farm a lot. Of course a bot will say "no". The thing to do is ask a question that can't be answered by yes or no, and can not be answered with a standard line of text. Something unusual, like "Where did you get that bonnet?". It knows it has been asked a question, but don't know the answer. Bots don't know what to do with those, so they will ignore you or relocate, or log out. Programmers don't want to take the chance of you following them, and in this game unless they are in your guild or on your friends list, it's really hard locate them once they change locations.

    Rest assured, as long as there are MMOs, there will be botters. The coders do everything they can to get their hands on the new code when it comes out so they can begin working on way around. They expect the continue this process as long as the profit they make selling the code is worth while to them.
  • Belidos
    Belidos
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    Nestor wrote: »

    Here is why, this is not some factory that does this. There are no rooms full of people running massive amounts of PC's with IT staff and technical support.
    Are you sure? ;)

    VuwShPgwjtC+4ytVUGzOFGh0dHA6Ly9pNTQudGlueXBpYy5jb20vajU4M3RlLmpwZw==
    Edited by Belidos on May 15, 2017 4:50PM
  • Fishoscandi
    Fishoscandi
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    I don't know why, but that picture where they are running in a line with 2Hs makes me laugh. Maybe because it reminds me of a conga line. :)
    Fishoscandi - Orc NB
    Cookie of Dough - Dunmer Templar
    Smells Like Tree Spirit - Bosmer Sorc

    EU PC

  • mtwiggz
    mtwiggz
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    The ESO developers are too hard to work creating housing wares and swag for the Crown Store to bother with nonsense such as botting! Botting doesn't make ZoS any money, thus botting is not a focal point.
  • Insandros
    Insandros
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    Well Vivec tonight is really bad, 8pm Eastern Time NA Servers, about 5-6 on one side not moving just spamming, and 2 on the otehr side moving on a pattern, and might be more of them, their acting is pretty weird.. i just seen about 3 more now on train from one side to the other....

  • Bobby_V_Rockit
    Bobby_V_Rockit
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    Why does botting matter? It doesnt seem to affect my gameplay at all really
  • Tan9oSuccka
    Tan9oSuccka
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    Bots reported in Betnihk PS4 NA numerous times. I give up.

    Sick of the clunky reporting process and having to delete the submission email for a process that appears to do nothing.
  • Loralai_907
    Loralai_907
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    I don't know how other people look at it, but when I see a bot train, I don't even want to stay on that map anymore. I don't want to see them, and I certainly do not want to spend all of my time hunting them down and reporting them. I saw a video once where this GM picked up this player and tossed him up in the air. Why not create Bot boxes and grab the whole train and stick them in the box. Account can't get out of the bot box unless verified non bot. Buys time to look into the accounts and keeps them from continuing to annoy real players.

    You could even get some players to throw bot trains into boxes in exchange for in game goodies. Who knows, it could complete your justice system haha. Sorry.
    PC-NA - formerly, mommadani907Guild: Weeping Angels - Co-GMTwitter: @ Loralai_907 several Alt accounts....CP 1700+
    Active characters:Fauna Rosewood ( Bosmer Stam DK - Master Crafter/AD)///Loralai Darknova (Drunken Zombie Bosmer Stam Sorc - PvP/AD)Lilith Darknova ( Dunmer Mag DK - Master Crafter - PvP/AD)///and roughly 1billion alts
  • Elf_Boy
    Elf_Boy
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    Guys bots are annoying and evil -- you can say there are bots in the same place, you cant say they are the same bots.

    As long as ppl can make more then the cost of the game before the licence is banned they will keep going at it.

    Get too aggressive in banning bots and legit players will get mixed in. Hard line to walk.
    ** Asus Crosshair VI Hero, Ryzen 1800x, 64GB DDR4 @ 3000, GTX 1080 ti, 4K Samsung 3d Display m.2 Sata 3 Boot Drive, m.2 x4 nvme Game Drive **
  • Insandros
    Insandros
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    .
    Edited by Insandros on May 16, 2017 2:13PM
  • Belidos
    Belidos
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    An excerpt from a botting software designers diary .............
    The Autocamp 2000 talks to other players with following rules:

    1.) If someone says something ending in a question mark, respond by saying "Dude?"

    2.) If someone says something ending in an exclamation point, respond by saying "Dude!"

    3.) If someone says something ending with a period, respond by randomly saying one of three things: "Okie," "Sure," or "Right on."

    4.) EXCEPTION: If someone says something directly to you by mentioning your name, respond by saying "Lag."

    5.) (And remember to accept all trade requests from other players by giving them a melon.)

    I sat it in front of the keyboard, made sure my character had at least fifty melons in his backpack, and then trudged off to leave it alone for the night. My

    character, Farglik the Templar, waited around in a wayshrine for some adventurers. The following is a log of what transpired:

    KillSwitch: [Shouting] Does anyone want to join our hunting party?

    Farglik: [Powered by the Autocamp 2000] Dude?

    [KillSwitch invites Farglik to join the group.]
    [Farglik joins the group]

    KillSwitch: We're gonna go farm dolmens.

    Farglik: Right on.

    [The group of players runs out of the wayshrine, Farglik following close behind. Farglik shoots spear beams at every little monster they pass.]

    KillSwitch: Why are you attacking the monkeys?

    Farglik: Dude?

    KillSwitch: The monkeys, the little hairy things -- why do you keep shooting at them?

    Farglik: Dude?

    Troobacca: [A nightblade in the party] My weapon enchant expired, I need a new one.

    Farglik: Sure.

    [Troobacca opens a trade with Farglik.]
    [Farglik hands him a melon.]

    Troobacca: ...what's this?

    Farglik: Dude?

    Troobacca: You handed me a melon!

    Farglik: Dude!

    KillSwitch: Knock it off guys, I see a Dolmen up ahead. Let's do this.

    Farglik: Right on.

    [The group encounters a bunch of dangerous mobs, but they gang up and kill every one of them.]

    KillSwitch: We rock!

    Farglik: Dude!

    Troobacca: We so OWNED them!

    Farglik: Dude!

    KillSwitch: Uh oh, hang on. Up ahead is a boss. We can't handle it, so don't attack.

    Farglik: Okie.

    [Farglik fires a spear beam one the boss.]
    [The boss attacks; Trobacca and several other party members are killed before they beat it.]

    KillSwitch: You IDIOT! Farglik why did you attacke the boss?

    Farglik: Lag.

    KillSwitch: Well don't do it again.

    Farglik: Sure.

    [Farglik attacks the boss.]
    [The entire party is slaughtered except for Farglik.]

    [ ... Farglik stands there, alone, for several hours ... ]

    [ ... finally, a merchant runs up to him.]

    Stingrie: [A Breton merchant.] Hey man! Would you like to buy a heal pot?

    Farglik: Dude?

    Stingrie: A heal pot. It boosts your health by 200 points. I'll sell it to you for 5 gold.

    Farglik: Okie.

    [Stingrie opens a trade session.]
    [Farglik hands him a melon.]

    Stingrie: What the hell is this?

    Farglik: Dude?

    Stingrie: You handed me a melon.

    Farglik: Right on.

    Stingrie: I told you 5 gold!

    Farglik: Dude!

    Stingrie: If it's too expensive, just say so.

    Farglik: Sure.

    [Stingrie runs away, angry.]

    [ ... several more hours pass ...]

    [A small hunting party led by Krushmor the sorceror comes over the ridge and spots Farglik.]

    Krushmor: Farglik, what's up? What are you doing way out here?

    Farglik: Lag.

    Krushmor: We're rooting daedra out of a delve. You should join our group.

    Farglik: Okie.

    [Krushmor invites Farglik to join the group.]
    [Farglik joins the group and starts following Krushmor around.]

    Soop: [The party's templar]. Here, Farglik, let me hand you some hela pots.

    Farglik: Lag.

    Soop: I know, it's pretty bad tonight. Here you go.

    Farglik: Right on.

    [Soop opens up a trade window and hands Farglik a heal pot.]
    [Farglik hands Soop a melon.]

    Soop: Uh ... thanks!

    Farglik: Dude!

    [The party enters a delve and spends the next two hours brutally clearing it of npc's, room by room. Everyone gets tons of XP.]

    Krushmor: Aw man, it's getting really late guys. I should go!

    Farglik: Dude!

    Krushmor: I know, sucks. I'll catch you all later.

    Farglik: Sure.

    [Krushmor logs off. By default, Farglik is now promoted to group leader!]

    Soop: Well that sucks. What should we hunt next?

    Farglik: Dude?

    Soop: Let's hunt dolmens!

    Farglik: Dude!

    Soop: I know an awesome spot. Follow me.

    Farglik: Right on.

    [The group runs out of the cave, but Farglik, because he is now group leader, just stands there. Several minutes pass before Soop returns.]

    Soop: Farglik why didn't you come with us?

    Farglik: Lag.

    Soop: Well catch up when you can.

    Farglik: Okie.

    [Farglik stands motionless in the cave and eventually the group disbands. Half an hour passes.]

    [Suddenly, one of the game developers, controlling Molag Bal, enters the cave.]

    MNolag Bal: Well, my young friend, we've been watching your progress for quite some time.

    Farglik: Sure.

    Molag Bal: You have done well. We have decided to bestow upon you: GM status!

    Farglik: Okie.

    Molag Bal: You will be the most powerful Templar on Tamriel!

    Farglik: Dude!

    [Molag Bal gives Farglik GM powers.]

    Molag Bal: Would you like an Infallible Aether Sword?

    Farglik: Dude?

    Molag Bal: An Infallible Aether Sword. I bestow it onto you.

    Farglik: Right on!

    [Molag Bal opens up a trade and gives Farglik an Infallible Aether Sword.]
    [Farglik hands Molag Bal a melon.]

    Molag Bal: Thanks, uh, for the ... melon.

    Farglik: Sure.

    Molag Bal: Well? Aren't you going to try out your new GM powers?

    Farglik: Dude?

    Molag Bal: Your GM powers! The powers I just gave you Farglik!

    Farglik: Lag.

    Molag Bal: Okay, you know what. Just forget the GM powers. I'm taking them back.

    Farglik: Okie.

    Molag Bal: And give me back my Infallible Aether Sword!

    Farglik: Sure.

    [Farglik hands Molag Bal a melon.]

    [Molag Bal kills Farglik.]

    [Farglik respawns at a wayshrine.]

    KillSwitch: [At the wayshrine] Whoa! Look who just popped in. What happened to you, Farglik?

    Farglik: Lag.

    KillSwitch: Want to come hunting with us?

    Farglik: Okie.

    [Farglik and the Autocamp 2000 join the hunt and gain experience for several more hours...]


    I'd call the experiment an unqualified success.
  • delboyspencer_YNWA
    delboyspencer_YNWA
    Soul Shriven
    Well, I thought I would add video evidence because yeah this is getting tiresome.

    https://www.youtube.com/edit?o=U&video_id=sHh-IKAmfms.

  • Feanor
    Feanor
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    Belidos wrote: »
    An excerpt from a botting software designers diary .............
    The Autocamp 2000 talks to other players with following rules:

    1.) If someone says something ending in a question mark, respond by saying "Dude?"

    2.) If someone says something ending in an exclamation point, respond by saying "Dude!"

    3.) If someone says something ending with a period, respond by randomly saying one of three things: "Okie," "Sure," or "Right on."

    4.) EXCEPTION: If someone says something directly to you by mentioning your name, respond by saying "Lag."

    5.) (And remember to accept all trade requests from other players by giving them a melon.)

    I sat it in front of the keyboard, made sure my character had at least fifty melons in his backpack, and then trudged off to leave it alone for the night. My

    character, Farglik the Templar, waited around in a wayshrine for some adventurers. The following is a log of what transpired:

    KillSwitch: [Shouting] Does anyone want to join our hunting party?

    Farglik: [Powered by the Autocamp 2000] Dude?

    [KillSwitch invites Farglik to join the group.]
    [Farglik joins the group]

    KillSwitch: We're gonna go farm dolmens.

    Farglik: Right on.

    [The group of players runs out of the wayshrine, Farglik following close behind. Farglik shoots spear beams at every little monster they pass.]

    KillSwitch: Why are you attacking the monkeys?

    Farglik: Dude?

    KillSwitch: The monkeys, the little hairy things -- why do you keep shooting at them?

    Farglik: Dude?

    Troobacca: [A nightblade in the party] My weapon enchant expired, I need a new one.

    Farglik: Sure.

    [Troobacca opens a trade with Farglik.]
    [Farglik hands him a melon.]

    Troobacca: ...what's this?

    Farglik: Dude?

    Troobacca: You handed me a melon!

    Farglik: Dude!

    KillSwitch: Knock it off guys, I see a Dolmen up ahead. Let's do this.

    Farglik: Right on.

    [The group encounters a bunch of dangerous mobs, but they gang up and kill every one of them.]

    KillSwitch: We rock!

    Farglik: Dude!

    Troobacca: We so OWNED them!

    Farglik: Dude!

    KillSwitch: Uh oh, hang on. Up ahead is a boss. We can't handle it, so don't attack.

    Farglik: Okie.

    [Farglik fires a spear beam one the boss.]
    [The boss attacks; Trobacca and several other party members are killed before they beat it.]

    KillSwitch: You IDIOT! Farglik why did you attacke the boss?

    Farglik: Lag.

    KillSwitch: Well don't do it again.

    Farglik: Sure.

    [Farglik attacks the boss.]
    [The entire party is slaughtered except for Farglik.]

    [ ... Farglik stands there, alone, for several hours ... ]

    [ ... finally, a merchant runs up to him.]

    Stingrie: [A Breton merchant.] Hey man! Would you like to buy a heal pot?

    Farglik: Dude?

    Stingrie: A heal pot. It boosts your health by 200 points. I'll sell it to you for 5 gold.

    Farglik: Okie.

    [Stingrie opens a trade session.]
    [Farglik hands him a melon.]

    Stingrie: What the hell is this?

    Farglik: Dude?

    Stingrie: You handed me a melon.

    Farglik: Right on.

    Stingrie: I told you 5 gold!

    Farglik: Dude!

    Stingrie: If it's too expensive, just say so.

    Farglik: Sure.

    [Stingrie runs away, angry.]

    [ ... several more hours pass ...]

    [A small hunting party led by Krushmor the sorceror comes over the ridge and spots Farglik.]

    Krushmor: Farglik, what's up? What are you doing way out here?

    Farglik: Lag.

    Krushmor: We're rooting daedra out of a delve. You should join our group.

    Farglik: Okie.

    [Krushmor invites Farglik to join the group.]
    [Farglik joins the group and starts following Krushmor around.]

    Soop: [The party's templar]. Here, Farglik, let me hand you some hela pots.

    Farglik: Lag.

    Soop: I know, it's pretty bad tonight. Here you go.

    Farglik: Right on.

    [Soop opens up a trade window and hands Farglik a heal pot.]
    [Farglik hands Soop a melon.]

    Soop: Uh ... thanks!

    Farglik: Dude!

    [The party enters a delve and spends the next two hours brutally clearing it of npc's, room by room. Everyone gets tons of XP.]

    Krushmor: Aw man, it's getting really late guys. I should go!

    Farglik: Dude!

    Krushmor: I know, sucks. I'll catch you all later.

    Farglik: Sure.

    [Krushmor logs off. By default, Farglik is now promoted to group leader!]

    Soop: Well that sucks. What should we hunt next?

    Farglik: Dude?

    Soop: Let's hunt dolmens!

    Farglik: Dude!

    Soop: I know an awesome spot. Follow me.

    Farglik: Right on.

    [The group runs out of the cave, but Farglik, because he is now group leader, just stands there. Several minutes pass before Soop returns.]

    Soop: Farglik why didn't you come with us?

    Farglik: Lag.

    Soop: Well catch up when you can.

    Farglik: Okie.

    [Farglik stands motionless in the cave and eventually the group disbands. Half an hour passes.]

    [Suddenly, one of the game developers, controlling Molag Bal, enters the cave.]

    MNolag Bal: Well, my young friend, we've been watching your progress for quite some time.

    Farglik: Sure.

    Molag Bal: You have done well. We have decided to bestow upon you: GM status!

    Farglik: Okie.

    Molag Bal: You will be the most powerful Templar on Tamriel!

    Farglik: Dude!

    [Molag Bal gives Farglik GM powers.]

    Molag Bal: Would you like an Infallible Aether Sword?

    Farglik: Dude?

    Molag Bal: An Infallible Aether Sword. I bestow it onto you.

    Farglik: Right on!

    [Molag Bal opens up a trade and gives Farglik an Infallible Aether Sword.]
    [Farglik hands Molag Bal a melon.]

    Molag Bal: Thanks, uh, for the ... melon.

    Farglik: Sure.

    Molag Bal: Well? Aren't you going to try out your new GM powers?

    Farglik: Dude?

    Molag Bal: Your GM powers! The powers I just gave you Farglik!

    Farglik: Lag.

    Molag Bal: Okay, you know what. Just forget the GM powers. I'm taking them back.

    Farglik: Okie.

    Molag Bal: And give me back my Infallible Aether Sword!

    Farglik: Sure.

    [Farglik hands Molag Bal a melon.]

    [Molag Bal kills Farglik.]

    [Farglik respawns at a wayshrine.]

    KillSwitch: [At the wayshrine] Whoa! Look who just popped in. What happened to you, Farglik?

    Farglik: Lag.

    KillSwitch: Want to come hunting with us?

    Farglik: Okie.

    [Farglik and the Autocamp 2000 join the hunt and gain experience for several more hours...]


    I'd call the experiment an unqualified success.

    If that is true then 99% of the players I see in game are Autocamp 2000 powered. ;)
    Edited by Feanor on May 16, 2017 3:41PM
    Main characters: Feanor the Believer - AD Altmer mSorc - AR 50 - Flawless Conqueror (PC EU)Idril Arnanor - AD Altmer mSorc - CP 217 - Stormproof (PC NA)Other characters:
    Necrophilius Killgood - DC Imperial NecromancerFearscales - AD Argonian Templar - Stormproof (healer)Draco Imperialis - AD Imperial DK (tank)Cabed Naearamarth - AD Dunmer mDKValirion Willowthorne - AD Bosmer stamBladeTuruna - AD Altmer magBladeKheled Zaram - AD Redguard stamDKKibil Nala - AD Redguard stamSorc - StormproofYavanna Kémentárí - AD Breton magWardenAzog gro-Ghâsh - EP Orc stamWardenVidar Drakenblød - DC Nord mDKMarquis de Peyrac - DC Breton mSorc - StormproofRawlith Khaj'ra - AD Khajiit stamWardenTu'waccah - AD Redguard Stamplar
    All chars 50 @ CP 1900+. Playing and enjoying PvP with RdK mostly on PC EU.
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