Has every player turned into a toxic jerk? (rant)

KimberlyannKitsuragi · October 2016

Affliction of the Damned is an NA guild that's always looking for new people. We love helping others and take the time to explain things to you. Message me @Meri20098 for an invite

Kram8ion · October 2016

Maybe it's the parents fault not teaching their toxic children basic life lessons

Kram8ion · October 2016

We need to utilise block more often

Molag_Crow · October 2016

Unfortunately, it's not just ESO, it's the gaming community in general. We're noticing a shift through the years over on WoW, of the younger generation of gamers coming across as toxic as ever since most of them are desensitized and lack compassion & respect.

NBrookus · October 2016

One suggestion I haven't seen, but may be useful since you say you are guild-hopping: when people are nasty in guild chat, take it up with the guild officers. They can't fix what they don't know is happening. If the officers don't care or are involved in the behavior themselves, in that case, good riddance.

I will have to disagree with the ladies who said that they hide that they are female. As an older women who worked in male dominated professions her entire career (now retired), I would never hide the fact I'm a woman. It's not something to be ashamed of, there are lots of us around, and if sexism is a problem I want it twitching on the dissection table, not hiding and festering waiting to bite me.

nimander99 · October 2016

Look, people are just people... And gamers are just gamers. If you keep having this issue and are guild hopping... Could the problem possibly be with you? I mean, you felt the need to mention "sexism" your age being "30" and that you are "female" A lot of buzz words there...

A lot of times, if I'm getting frustrated, I step back, take a look at what I am doing, consider the possibility that I may be the problem (I know, crazy right?), and adjust my behavior.

Stoopid_Nwah · October 2016

NBrookus wrote: »

One suggestion I haven't seen, but may be useful since you say you are guild-hopping: when people are nasty in guild chat, take it up with the guild officers. They can't fix what they don't know is happening. If the officers don't care or are involved in the behavior themselves, in that case, good riddance.

I will have to disagree with the ladies who said that they hide that they are female. As an older women who worked in male dominated professions her entire career (now retired), I would never hide the fact I'm a woman. It's not something to be ashamed of, there are lots of us around, and if sexism is a problem I want it twitching on the dissection table, not hiding and festering waiting to bite me.

This 100%. It would also be great if we could get to the point where some guys could quit assuming that because I'm a girl it means I must not know end game mechanics for dungeons and trials. Pretty ironic because I have all my maelstrom weapons and they usually are the ones that can't even clear it

.

BlanketFort · October 2016

Soafee wrote: »

Your first mistake is assuming people care what your gender is. I never tell anyone what gender I am in the game and I don't have any issues with anyone, in ESO or any other game I play. If you don't want issues with people then don't give them reasons to make issues. Being female is a reason, trust me.

Now when I was younger and cared about bonding with people online, I told everyone I was a female and issues followed me around like flies on crap. Just give up on it and let go and play to be good at the game and you'll see that people are a lot nicer to you in general. No one needs to know that you're female.

that one would have to actively hide their gender just to avoid any issues in-game, only shows that "yes, people do care what gender you are". It is also sometimes unavoidable. Take consoles for example before text chat, (and even after, as not everyone has a keyboard) voice chat was the only way to communicate. I appreciate your view on this, if it works for you, then great, but this shouldn't even still be a problem in freaking 2016, to begin with. I will have to refuse your advice, as I think it is too much work to pretend to talk like a man just so I can enjoy the game hassle-free.

If you apply your solution to real life, you'd be saying: "oh, your co-workers are sexist? Just don't let anyone know you're female and all will be fine." I hope you see my point. The solution is not to hide in a corner and disguise yourself.

SolarCat02 · October 2016

People don't need to know gender.

On Xbox since we have voice chat, it does tend to come out. But the only cases where I have seen it turn into an issue is when people make their own gender an issue.

My favorites are listening to the women clearly logged in on their boyfriend's account to sell things or beg for money. No, I am not making presumptions, this particular group actually announces they share the account with their boyfriend, and for some reason guys in chat go crazy over them anyway. I don't understand it, but I find it hilarious to listen to.

The minority of the time yes, someone will make an issue of something that wasn't an issue to begin with, but in my experience that is a very rare minority.

Woeler · October 2016

Turned into? I always was.

Mandragora · October 2016

Maybe if they would implement features friendly for friendly/RPG players, there would be less of the mean players - always, when there is a new patch that prefers hard/non soloable gameplay, you can see a lot of arrogant comments in forums and also in the game you can meet the same players. And if they introduce something friendly to ordinary players - more of such players will be active on forums and in the game. I know it is not 100%, but there is something about it.
So more hard normal dungeons = less friendly players playing normal dungeons.

notimetocare · October 2016

Steps to avoid this:
1. Stop sucking? Maybe you are bad. It happens
2. Play pc. Console is rife with immature people. Why? Kiddies cant spend 1k on a pc.
3. Dont make posts saying your sex. Just asking to be trolled
4. Profit?

mook-eb16_ESO · October 2016

I think the problem with consoles is that there are lot of under18 year olds on those platforms(a price thing) compared with pc.

notimetocare · October 2016

mook-eb16_ESO wrote: »

I think the problem with consoles is that there are lot of under18 year olds on those platforms(a price thing) compared with pc.

Not even an age thing. Plenty of 20+ idiot with no life or maturity and bad jobs.

SaibotLiu · October 2016

nimander99 wrote: »

Look, people are just people... And gamers are just gamers. If you keep having this issue and are guild hopping... Could the problem possibly be with you? I mean, you felt the need to mention "sexism" your age being "30" and that you are "female" A lot of buzz words there...

A lot of times, if I'm getting frustrated, I step back, take a look at what I am doing, consider the possibility that I may be the problem (I know, crazy right?), and adjust my behavior.

This.

If people are treating you badly its because you allow them to. This is what psychologists would like to say to a lot of people but unfortunately most arent mature or ready enough to handle that reasoning. Of course, bad things happen to good people, that is reality. But part of being a good person is picking yourself up and resolving issues that are affecting you to allow you to continue to be a good person. In the scenario where you are repeatedly finding yourself to be the victim of mistreatment, it's going to invariably be a case of the person victimizing themselves.

And with the verbiage you pointed out it's not difficult to see how this may be what's happening.

And to take it further in the OP with wording "Im female, if that matters" the OP is asking the reader permission to make it an issue. This doesnt only invite people to make a judgement, it basically forces them to be bias. That isn't needed. One thing I can promise you is that if you ask people if something is okay or not, you're going to always get an answer and often it's going to be one you don't like.

jircris11 · October 2016

sadly over the years i have watched the mmo, no the gaming community spiral down a horrible hole in terms of manners. When i use to play ultima online, sure i got pked but there was little to no insults thrown out. Back in EQ1/2 i could ask for help and get multiple offers. I think what it is now days are younger players and their need to be "the best" and flaunt it as if it matters. you find this in mmos with gear score fps with K/D ect. Best we can do is try and find the nice players in the sea of toxic players. From what i have noticed (i own a bx1/pc/ps4) most console layers tend to be VERY young kids who's parents use the console as a babysitter.

Rune_Relic · October 2016

Molag_Crow wrote: »

Unfortunately, it's not just ESO, it's the gaming community in general. We're noticing a shift through the years over on WoW, of the younger generation of gamers coming across as toxic as ever since most of them are desensitized and lack compassion & respect.

We are living in a world that is getting more and more competitive.
The inevitable result is..it becomes more and more selfish.
The people who would think twice about stabbing a neighbour in the back if it suited their purpose are getting fewer and fewer.
So yes...compassions...conscience...super ego. Its dying.
Team mates / colleagues are being replaced with competitors now.
If you are at the top you are a somebody....anyone else ceases to matter.

This is what big business and education teaches now.

Redgrimm666 · October 2016

I agree there are some bad apples out there. Let's play sometime. Msg me when your on! BestialWarlord66 // I am laid back on this game. But I still kick ass

maboleth · October 2016

SaibotLiu wrote: »

If people are treating you badly its because you allow them to. This is what psychologists would like to say to a lot of people but unfortunately most arent mature or ready enough to handle that reasoning. Of course, bad things happen to good people, that is reality. But part of being a good person is picking yourself up and resolving issues that are affecting you to allow you to continue to be a good person. In the scenario where you are repeatedly finding yourself to be the victim of mistreatment, it's going to invariably be a case of the person victimizing themselves.

I agree with you about resolving issues that are affecting us all and continuing to be good persons.
However, while most of people here are kind, they like to help other (female) players, some are just jerks that do stupid vulgar jokes without any reason.

I saw several sexist jokes when my sorceress tried to sit on her knees or "play dead". Did I provoke? No. That was just an ordinary emote that some teenager or loner got it all wrong. It's not often but it can happen. Few days ago I called someone in chat to help me kill the giant snake boss. You can guess what kind of humour did I get about the snake. But on the other hand, some just came to help me kill it. So there you go, jerks and bad jokes are there, but there are also some extremely nice and kind people here. Over many months I got so much more positive support and nice words than having to deal with fools. Those jerks I usually invite on a duel if we are out of Cyrodiil.

SaibotLiu · October 2016

maboleth wrote: »

SaibotLiu wrote: »

If people are treating you badly its because you allow them to. This is what psychologists would like to say to a lot of people but unfortunately most arent mature or ready enough to handle that reasoning. Of course, bad things happen to good people, that is reality. But part of being a good person is picking yourself up and resolving issues that are affecting you to allow you to continue to be a good person. In the scenario where you are repeatedly finding yourself to be the victim of mistreatment, it's going to invariably be a case of the person victimizing themselves.

I agree with you about resolving issues that are affecting us all and continuing to be good persons.
However, while most of people here are kind, they like to help other (female) players, some are just jerks that do stupid vulgar jokes without any reason.

I saw several sexist jokes when my sorceress tried to sit on her knees or "play dead". Did I provoke? No. That was just an ordinary emote that some teenager or loner got it all wrong. It's not often but it can happen. Few days ago I called someone in chat to help me kill the giant snake boss. You can guess what kind of humour did I get about the snake. But on the other hand, some just came to help me kill it. So there you go, jerks and bad jokes are there, but there are also some extremely nice and kind people here. Over many months I got so much more positive support and nice words than having to deal with fools. Those jerks I usually invite on a duel if we are out of Cyrodiil.

Well I tend to handle interaction with less than savoury people like boxing. People are going to jab at you, and the best way to deal with a jab is get closer to it and smother it. Thats just me. The more you shy away from an attack the more its probably going to get in your kitchen, and other people know that, they arent that stupid. You think its hard being a woman, try being a guy who looks mean and tough. People think that would be great because then nobody will mess with you, but what really happens is that other big mean guys want to test you to see if you really are as bad as you look. That's just an example to show we all have to deal with a certain amount of grief and social challenges, no matter who we might be, and its pretty silly to let that define you or people around you. Part of being an adult is knowing how to deal with that stuff. We shouldve of all had plenty of practice by now.

FortheloveofKrist · October 2016

nimander99 wrote: »

Look, people are just people... And gamers are just gamers. If you keep having this issue and are guild hopping... Could the problem possibly be with you? I mean, you felt the need to mention "sexism" your age being "30" and that you are "female" A lot of buzz words there...

A lot of times, if I'm getting frustrated, I step back, take a look at what I am doing, consider the possibility that I may be the problem (I know, crazy right?), and adjust my behavior.

"Female" is a buzzword. Wow, just wow. Don't you have a presidential race to run?

NetflixNChiill · October 2016

It's like that on Xbox too a LOT of snobs on the game think just because they have stormproof they're gods gift to eso which is not the case. Lol i just laugh at them and their arrogance but that being said there is no excuse for making sexist remarks if they don't like you they coulda just removed you from the guild minus the negative comments sorry that you had to go through that

Rokushoh · October 2016

If you meet *** everyday, then you need to consider looking over who's the *** (you or them). Different people need a different approach to them. Patronizing people makes them have a bad impression of you already, making them think you underestimate them. All I can say is that, find 2-5 friends, stick with those, build from there. I've met more awesome people than jerks, really.

Good luck.

grumlins · October 2016

Well I noticed right off the bat that you may be on the wrong network of players.

PS4 has been well known for being lax in their enforcement department. They really don't clean out the idiots that plague gamer society and the trolls that won't stop.

Xbox doesn't play with that you do something wrong you get suspended you keep doing it you are banned.

I would suggest switching to play with the better of the two communities.

Solus · October 2016

grumlins wrote: »

Well I noticed right off the bat that you may be on the wrong network of players.

PS4 has been well known for being lax in their enforcement department. They really don't clean out the idiots that plague gamer society and the trolls that won't stop.

Xbox doesn't play with that you do something wrong you get suspended you keep doing it you are banned.

I would suggest switching to play with the better of the two communities.

lol OP if you need a good computer build

\/ \/ \/ click da link

Integral1900 · October 2016

I've been playing since launch and I can honestly say I've had pretty much no problem, quite an achievement considering I have anxiety

Druachan · October 2016

I must be doing something wrong. So far in over a year I've not had any real problems, then again I'm on the eu pc/mac server, so maybe that's it. I came from a rpg background that was dice and books and mostly was played with actual friends. Anyway I landed in eso following on from skyrim, and I just play it solo. Don't really bother with the chat, couldn't give a monkeys if someone thinks they are something superfreakingawesome or not, trust me youre not. Get over yourself.

I love going exploring, doing quests and generally just going round the world. I see lots of real idiots in areas of the game I'm in but I just ignore them and move on. I have helped out other players from time to time if I can. I don't really bother with groups because I'd probably screw up your group at the vital moment. Seems to me those who roleplay rather than compete are having most fun.

However no, you shouldn't have to put up with *** because they think that hey it's the internet I can say and do what I want. No you shouldn't have to disguise your gender online. However as we've seen on most internet based social media platforms, eventually it just turns into a cesspool of abuse and obnoxious people trolling. Says a lot about society.

Doesn't matter if your male/female/LGBT whatever, there's always some who just want to make life a misery for others. Its what happens when people think they can say and do what they like with no consequences for their actions.

I have to admit though that as much as you'd like to think that it's a particular type of person, I've yet to find anything in real life that said your age, gender, religion, skin colour, iq, bank balance, size of your ***, or anything else, made you any more or less prone to being a complete arse that nobody likes.

Ch4mpTW · October 2016

Coming from someone who plays on both Mac and PlayStation 4 (PS4 primarily nowadays), I can truly say that people PS4 are way more immature and obnoxious than those that I've encountered on Mac. However, I'm not saying that there aren't negative and toxic people on the Mac and PC. I've met more than my handful of nasty people on those platforms as well, but on console it's simply more prevalent and accepted universally.

Throw in the fact that MMO's are known to house the most toxic players, outside of FPS (first-person shooters) communities — and you're basically screwed. Not even the FGC (fighting game community) is as atrocious as the MMO community ironically enough, which is due to the fact that most people in the FGC have a much more lax and chill mentality overall than the MMO community. And while there are some people in the FGC who enjoy being rowdy and wild, and quite 'salty' as we like to put it... They just are far more tame when compared to the MMO community.

Doctordarkspawn · October 2016

notimetocare wrote: »

Steps to avoid this:
1. Stop sucking? Maybe you are bad. It happens
2. Play pc. Console is rife with immature people. Why? Kiddies cant spend 1k on a pc.
3. Dont make posts saying your sex. Just asking to be trolled
4. Profit?

Many of the horrible experiences I have had on PC. In fact the experience is worse on PC because of the sense of entitlement.

nimander99 · October 2016

FortheloveofKrist wrote: »

nimander99 wrote: »

Look, people are just people... And gamers are just gamers. If you keep having this issue and are guild hopping... Could the problem possibly be with you? I mean, you felt the need to mention "sexism" your age being "30" and that you are "female" A lot of buzz words there...

A lot of times, if I'm getting frustrated, I step back, take a look at what I am doing, consider the possibility that I may be the problem (I know, crazy right?), and adjust my behavior.

"Female" is a buzzword. Wow, just wow. Don't you have a presidential race to run?

I meant it in the context of her specific use of it as an identifiable non-arbitrary trait... Hence, buzz word: To get a reaction.

Which you knew very well with your sarcastic reference to American politics which has no place in these forums, at all.