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What do you call a pile of Khajiit?
Solariken
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Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.
Feel free to comment with your best Tamrielic racist jokes!
Edited by Solariken on July 19, 2016 4:36PM A meowntain.
...Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.
Feel free to comment with your best Tamrielic racist jokes!
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rhapsodious✭✭✭✭✭
✭Get out. Right meow.
I love Wood Elf jokes.A skeleton walks into the tavern and says, "I'd like some rotmeth. And a mop."
Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
A: It was dead.
Q. What's brown and sticky?
A. A stick.
Person One: Ask me if I'm a tree.
Person Two: Are you a tree?
Person One: No.
Q. Which side of a raven has the most feathers?
A. The outside.
Q. What has three heads, is ugly, and smells?
A. My mistake! You don't have three heads!
Q. What's light as a feather, but cannot be held for very long?
A. Breath.
Q. Imagine your boat's sinking in slaughterfish-infested waters. How do you survive?
A. Stop imagining!
Q. Why do thunderbugs eat raw meat?
A. They never learned to cook.
Q. Why do bees buzz?
A. Because they can't whistle.8 -
Lord_Draevan✭✭✭✭✭
✭Here's a conversion of an old Lord of the Rings joke from wwwaaayyy back in the day:
A Dominion army is marching off to battle when they pass Blue Road Keep. They hear a shout from within:
"One Pact soldier is worth ten Dominion soldiers!"
Enraged, the Dominion general immediately sends his ten best over the wall. There's the sound of an intense battle, then silence. Then from the keep:
"One Pact soldier is worth a hundred Dominion soldiers!"
The Dominion general sends a hundred more troops over the wall. Again there's the sounds of a fierce battle, then silence. Someone within laughs and cries out:
"One Pact soldier is worth a thousand Dominion soldiers!"
Infuriated, the general sends in all his remaining troops, leaving only himself outside. After several minutes, a single wounded Dominion soldier comes crawling out. The Dominion general runs over to him and asks:
"By the Eight, what happened in there?"
The soldier utters with his dying breath:
"It...was a trap... there were... TWO of them!"I'm a man of few words. Any questions?NA/PC server28 -
Asmael✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭How do you know a khajiit rode your horse?It's gone.
What do you call a Wood Elf who doesn't lie or cheat or steal?A dead Wood Elf.PC EU - Zahraji of the Void, aka "Kitty", the fluffiest salmon genocider in town.
Poke @AsmaeI (last letter is uppercase "i") on PC EU or Asmael#9325 on Discord and receive a meow today.10 -
UltimaJoe777✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭How many Nords can you fit inside a tavern?Too manyEdited by UltimaJoe777 on July 19, 2016 5:06PMGuildmaster of Power With Numbers in PS4 NA Server's Aldmeri Dominion.
Proud Founder of the Yaysay cult! DOWN WITH THE NAYSAY CULT!! #ToxicRemedy6 -
UltimaJoe777✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭Roehamad_Ali wrote: »Dats racist
It's only racist if it's untrue and/or insulting, or just plain antagonizing.Edited by UltimaJoe777 on July 19, 2016 5:25PMGuildmaster of Power With Numbers in PS4 NA Server's Aldmeri Dominion.
Proud Founder of the Yaysay cult! DOWN WITH THE NAYSAY CULT!! #ToxicRemedy1 -
Rohamad_Ali✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭UltimaJoe777 wrote: »Roehamad_Ali wrote: »Dats racist
It's only racist if it's untrue and/or insulting, or just plain antagonizing.
Never has this one stole a horse , Roe is innocent of this crime !
At least until they add horse theft into justice system ...7 -
PS4_ZeColmeia✭✭✭✭✭How do you know a Nord is drunk?
He's not deadPSN: ***___Chan (3 _s)
Hybrid, All-Role NB4 -
newtinmpls✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭Slightly adapted from where I found them:
"How is your wife," asked Lucius.
"She's in bed with laryngitis," replied Varro.
"Is that Khajiit *** back in town again?"
"I keep seeing spots before my eyes."
"Have you seen a healer?"
"No, just spots."
A big Nord named Julgen was set on by a gang of thieves. He fought them furiously, but in the end, they beat him into semiconsciousness. They searched his pockets and discovered that he only had three gold pieces on him.
"Do you mean to tell us you fought us like a mad lupe for three lousy gold pieces?" sneered one of the thieves.
"No," answered Julgen. "I was afraid you were after the four hundred gold pieces in my boot."
A Nord man killed his dunmer wife after catching her making love with another man.
When the magistrate asked him why he killed her instead of her lover, the man replied, "I considered it better to kill one woman than a different man every week."
"This orchard has sentimental value to me," said Mojhad, the Khajiit, to his friend, Hasillid. "Under that tree, for example, is where I first made love. And that tree, is where her mother stood, watching us."
"She watched you while you made love to her daughter?" said Hasillid, clearly impressed. "Didn't she say anything?"
"Meow."Tenesi Faryon of Telvanni - Dunmer Sorceress who deliberately sought sacrifice into Cold Harbor to rescue her beloved.
Hisa Ni Caemaire - Altmer Sorceress, member of the Order Draconis and Adept of the House of Dibella.
Broken Branch Toothmaul - goblin (for my goblin characters, I use either orsimer or bosmer templates) Templar, member of the Order Draconis and persistently unskilled pickpocket
Mol gro Durga - Orsimer Socerer/Battlemage who died the first time when the Nibenay Valley chapterhouse of the Order Draconis was destroyed, then went back to Cold Harbor to rescue his second/partner who was still captive. He overestimated his resistance to the hopelessness of Oblivion, about to give up, and looked up to see the golden glow of atherius surrounding a beautiful young woman who extended her hand to him and said "I can help you". He carried Fianna Kingsley out of Cold Harbor on his shoulder. He carried Alvard Stower under one arm. He also irritated the Prophet who had intended the portal for only Mol and Lyris.***Order Draconis - well c'mon there has to be some explanation for all those dragon tattoos.
House of Dibella - If you have ever seen or read "Memoirs of a Geisha" that's just the beginning...
Nibenay Valley Chapterhouse - Where now stands only desolate ground and a dolmen there once was a thriving community supporting one of the major chapterhouses of the Order Draconis4 -
ArchMikem✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭This thread is too full of puns for me. I would rather be Elsweyr.CP2,100 Master Explorer - AvA Two Star Warlord - Console Peasant - Khajiiti Aficionado - The Clan
Quest Objective: OMG Go Talk To That Kitty!16 -
Enemy-of-Coldharbour✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭This one wonders why so many Khajiit are in a pile. Have they been killed? Are they twisted together in an *** of the flesh?
Silivren (Silly) Thalionwen | Altmer Templar | Magicka | 9-Trait Master Crafter/Jeweler | Master Angler | PVE Main - Killed by U35
Jahsul at-Sahan | Redguard Sorcerer | Stamina | Werewolf - Free Bites | PVP Main
Derrok Gunnolf | Redguard Dragonknight | Stamina | Werewolf - Free Bites
Liliana Littleleaf | 9-Trait Grand Master Crafter/Jeweler (non-combat)
Amber Emberheart | Breton Dragonknight | Stamina | Master Angler
Vlos Anon | Dunmer Nightblade | Magicka | Vampire - Free Bites
Kalina Valos | Dunmer Warden | Magicka | Vampire - Free Bites
Swiftpaws-Moonshadow | Khajiit Nightblade | Stamina
Morgul Vardar | Altmer Necromancer | Magicka
Tithin Geil | Altmer Sorceress | Magicka
Dhryk | Imperial Dragonknight | Stamina
Guild Master - ESO Traders Union
PC/NA - CP 2560+0 -
WhiteCoatSyndrome✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭Lightninvash wrote: »Thought you'd say a fur ball
No, that's a Khajiit formal dance.#proud2BAStarObsessedLoony
PAWS (Positively Against Wrip-off Stuff) - Say No to Crown Crates!
A useful explanation for how RNG works
How to turn off the sustainability features (screen dimming, fps cap) on PC15 -
ArchMikem✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭Enemy-of-Coldharbour wrote: »This one wonders why so many Khajiit are in a pile. Have they been killed? Are they twisted together in an *** of the flesh?
Our Lady Sanguine approves of this debauchery.CP2,100 Master Explorer - AvA Two Star Warlord - Console Peasant - Khajiiti Aficionado - The Clan
Quest Objective: OMG Go Talk To That Kitty!2 -
yodased✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭I was going to say a carpet...Tl;dr really weigh the fun you have in game vs the business practices you are supporting.1 -
Forestd16b14_ESO✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭UltimaJoe777 wrote: »Roehamad_Ali wrote: »Dats racist
It's only racist if it's untrue and/or insulting, or just plain antagonizing.
I would argue but you are right.
THERE TAKING ALL OF MY MEAD !0 -
UltimaJoe777✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭Forestd16b14_ESO wrote: »UltimaJoe777 wrote: »Roehamad_Ali wrote: »Dats racist
It's only racist if it's untrue and/or insulting, or just plain antagonizing.
I would argue but you are right.
THERE TAKING ALL OF MY MEAD !
Exactly
And here's another one:
What do you call an extra elven character?An Alt mer
Guildmaster of Power With Numbers in PS4 NA Server's Aldmeri Dominion.
Proud Founder of the Yaysay cult! DOWN WITH THE NAYSAY CULT!! #ToxicRemedy7 -
UltimaJoe777✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭Where more do Young Bosmer go to pick up more mature partners?Eldenroot
That 1 barely makes enough sense to be considered funny... Honestly took me a moment to get it in fact.Edited by UltimaJoe777 on July 20, 2016 1:59AMGuildmaster of Power With Numbers in PS4 NA Server's Aldmeri Dominion.
Proud Founder of the Yaysay cult! DOWN WITH THE NAYSAY CULT!! #ToxicRemedy1 -
tinythinker✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭Lightninvash wrote: »Thought you'd say a fur ball
No, no, fur balls is the punch line to "How do you tell khajiit men from khajiit women?"
❤Experienced, new, returner?❤ Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
(And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)
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Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this5 -
tinythinker✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭What do you call an Argonian who loves hip-hop?A rap-tile
Why did the Argonian have trouble making love?He suffered from a reptile dysfunction.
❤Experienced, new, returner?❤ Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
(And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this5 -
tinythinker✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭Omg @tinythinker , you've got me rofl'ing hard. XD
You... encourage this?
heheheheh
Why did the Argonian hatch early?His parents kept egging him on.❤Experienced, new, returner?❤ Help keep ESO's community strong ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ -- share what you love about the game, offer constructive feedback, and make friends.ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Who are you in Tamriel (whether it's just your character's attitude & style or a full backstory)? - Share your Character's Story! ◔ ⌣ ◔
(And let us know 🔷What Kind of Roleplayer You Are🔷 - even if that only extends to choosing your race)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Support Mudcrab Mode for ESO (\/)!_!(\/) - part joke, part serious, all glorious! You butter be ready for this3 -
UltimaJoe777✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭@tinythinker This one is spending a little too much time thinking of lizards... I blame the Lusty Argonian Maid series. Speaking of which...
What do you get when you mix an Argonian and a Guar?A cold reception
That one hard to get? How about this one...
What do Argonians and Frenchman have in common?Both have potent tonguesEdited by UltimaJoe777 on July 20, 2016 3:53AMGuildmaster of Power With Numbers in PS4 NA Server's Aldmeri Dominion.
Proud Founder of the Yaysay cult! DOWN WITH THE NAYSAY CULT!! #ToxicRemedy0
