vamp_emily wrote: »

Fallen_Ray wrote: »

It's not you. The entire world lately has forgotten manners and good principles. Some years back it was all about getting along with people, being firendly, help one another.

Today is all about being the first for everything, being better than anyone being more important than anyone. When you take those attitudes into a game the toxicity you speak of takes place and we turn hostile to our game mates. Letting those expressions like "GIT GUD", "You suck", "L2P", etc. Can spark a nasty discussion. As well as sending hate messages when a player kills you instead of sending them a congratulations for their victory.

Its something that we must all fix. the ones who read this post and actually want to make a difference start now. If you win, send that message to your competitor telling them it was a good fight. If in a dungeon, instruct that team mate that's causing the mass wipe over and over, the right way. If you lost in Imperial City to a zerg don't message "zerg noob" or anything in particular, instead something as simple as a "lol, i tried to survive well played" can clean the toxicity.

If you're not in a good mood then don't say anything at all. Bad moods can spread toxic as fast as a fire spreads in a forest. If the chat is polluted to a rotten level of negativity just play and do not pay attention to the text or leave. Don't let yourself be contaminated. Spread the love we can get back to the friendly times!

After thinking about this a lot yesterday. I think I maybe be a drama queen that causes toxic.

Here is an example:
Just the other day in zone chat I said something like "Geez, I have been here 2 hours and we can't even take one keep?" ( I am sure I said that out of frustration ) The first response was "stfu emily". How was I not supposed to respond to that?

Sometimes, I think I try so hard to be good at the game it makes me frustrated because I can't be the best at everything. Maybe it is showing in my attitude recently.

However, yesterday I did good. Instead of trying to help in PvP ( even though I wanted to soo bad ) I went around collecting skyshards and books instead of fighting. It was boring but kind of relaxing.

When I did decide to PvP I didn't respond to some of the silly remarks that were being said in zone chat, even though there was a few times I wanted to say something but I knew it would create drama.

I get ya. Sometimes its better to just comply with their desires. So they wanted you to shut the f&%^ up., I would've left the group in your place so that he wouldn't have to read my messages anymore. I mean life is already hard enough. You don't have to put up with those things in what is supposed to be your "fun time". And by the way no one is best at everything.

PvP yes can be quite stressful. One thing I do before i go to Cyrodiil or pvp in any other game is say to myself "I will remain calm if I die It's just a game" it mostly works. Pvp is a stressful part of games, and can turn friends against another in a flash.

But don't let that get to ya stuff like this always happen and always will just try to ignore them. And if it is necessary leave the group, that always feels good

Death in PvP is inevitable. Failure in PvP is inevitable. The fact of the matter is you are not in total control of your environment. One definition that I would give to stress is trying to control things you can't control. Stress makes people grumpy although it sometimes raises them up to a higher level of performance as well.

So what's my point? Have fun first. Do it at the expense of others in other factions if you can, but have fun first. Even if you have to be annoying to your own team mates. So you gripe about taking a keep and someone says STFU, then you say, "Nobody likes you but me. Is that anyway to treat your only friend?"

vamp_emily wrote: »

Fallen_Ray wrote: »

It's not you. The entire world lately has forgotten manners and good principles. Some years back it was all about getting along with people, being firendly, help one another.

Today is all about being the first for everything, being better than anyone being more important than anyone. When you take those attitudes into a game the toxicity you speak of takes place and we turn hostile to our game mates. Letting those expressions like "GIT GUD", "You suck", "L2P", etc. Can spark a nasty discussion. As well as sending hate messages when a player kills you instead of sending them a congratulations for their victory.

Its something that we must all fix. the ones who read this post and actually want to make a difference start now. If you win, send that message to your competitor telling them it was a good fight. If in a dungeon, instruct that team mate that's causing the mass wipe over and over, the right way. If you lost in Imperial City to a zerg don't message "zerg noob" or anything in particular, instead something as simple as a "lol, i tried to survive well played" can clean the toxicity.

If you're not in a good mood then don't say anything at all. Bad moods can spread toxic as fast as a fire spreads in a forest. If the chat is polluted to a rotten level of negativity just play and do not pay attention to the text or leave. Don't let yourself be contaminated. Spread the love we can get back to the friendly times!

After thinking about this a lot yesterday. I think I maybe be a drama queen that causes toxic.

Here is an example:
Just the other day in zone chat I said something like "Geez, I have been here 2 hours and we can't even take one keep?" ( I am sure I said that out of frustration ) The first response was "stfu emily". How was I not supposed to respond to that?

Sometimes, I think I try so hard to be good at the game it makes me frustrated because I can't be the best at everything. Maybe it is showing in my attitude recently.

However, yesterday I did good. Instead of trying to help in PvP ( even though I wanted to soo bad ) I went around collecting skyshards and books instead of fighting. It was boring but kind of relaxing.

When I did decide to PvP I didn't respond to some of the silly remarks that were being said in zone chat, even though there was a few times I wanted to say something but I knew it would create drama.

The problem with people talking in Cryodiil is when they have nothing constructive to say. If you had been there for two hours and hadn't taken a keep you can bet others were in the same position. Saying "geez, I've been here two hours and we can't even take one keep" is not helpful. How did you expect people to respond to that? People get frustrated when things arent going well in PvP. Calling them out on it doesn't improve things. Instead you should try to rally people if you are one of the vocal ones in zone chat. In those two hours did you go flag another keep to cut off reinforcments or cause a distraction? Or did you just slam your head against the wall and vent in zone about it.

The other day in PvP I log in and see DC trying to take bleakers. Bleakers was full of reds and it was like this the night before. No progress was being made. People were being their usual toxic selves and not being helpful about the situation. Someone said something about flagging Chalman, but no one seemed interested in doing it. So, I went by my self. Went north side, set up siege and got it flagged. Eventually a few reds show up and I fight with them until I get overwhelmed. But, we got Bleakers by then. I don't know if I helped that much. Maybe they would have gotten Bleakers anyway (they had been at it a while though) Regardless of that, at least what I did was more productive then telling people how much they suck in zone.

Playing this game does seem to remove any sense of morality and fair play from MANY people. If they behaved this way in real life, the unemployment lines would be much longer, and the jails would be much fuller.

The_Outsider wrote: »

Typhoios wrote: »

The_Outsider wrote: »

vamp_emily wrote: »

Recently I have been a very bad person to several people. I say rude things without really thinking about what I am saying.

What is wrong with me? Is it the game that is causing my shift in behavior? I really feel that the people I play with are causing my personality change. I play PvP everyday and the chat can be some times toxic.. then I become toxic.

I need help .. I think i might need a break.

It's not ESO. It's the degree of anonymity that the internet provides. Really brings out peoples true colors by removing the need for self-control or restraint. We can say what we think without any actual consequences.

Pretty much. I always try to keep in mind if what I'm saying online is in line with what I would say if the guy was standing in front of me.

Yeah. If you're an elitist toolbag that goes around T-bagging every player you (or someone else) kill, the worst that can happen is a rage tell. You can't tell that they dude behind the screen is 6'4 and 250lbs of muscle. Try that jazz in rl and you'd need reconstructive surgery. Hence my theory that the largest toolbags in game are the smallest and most puny individuals irl.

Trash talk and Tbags are all in good fun most of the time. It's when people literally try to take away other peoples fun (griefing) that we shouldn't be okay.

I've always been on the opinion that the people who were the victims of the the playground bullies in school, end up being the playground bullies in video games like this. One would have thought that they had learned that being bullied SUCKED and it made you feel horrible when someone did it to you, so why in the world would you EVER inflict that on someone else?

I've come to the conclusion that it's just that most people suck.

vamp_emily wrote: »

Typhoios wrote: »

The problem with people talking in Cryodiil is when they have nothing constructive to say. If you had been there for two hours and hadn't taken a keep you can bet others were in the same position. Saying "geez, I've been here two hours and we can't even take one keep" is not helpful. How did you expect people to respond to that? People get frustrated when things arent going well in PvP. Calling them out on it doesn't improve things. Instead you should try to rally people if you are one of the vocal ones in zone chat. In those two hours did you go flag another keep to cut off reinforcments or cause a distraction? Or did you just slam your head against the wall and vent in zone about it.

I understand I was wrong for saying it, that is why blame myself for contributing or causing toxic zone chat. My behavior gets worse when there is one keep left before another alliance is crowned Emp. I start flipping out saying things without really thinking about it, blaming others because everything I do is not working.

I know I have been bad, now I'm just trying for figure out what to do about it. I know what the answer is to take a break from the game, but I don't know if I want to do that.

It sucks. I just keep my head down and keep fighting. You can't force your alliance to play better. You can see the shift in zone chat when things get bad. People start blaming others etc... This only makes it worse and people start working together even less. Really, you just can't take it too seriously. If it is getting overly frustrating, leave. Either go do something else in game or log off and do something relaxing. Came back at it the next day. Cyrodiil will still be there.

vamp_emily wrote: »

My behavior gets worse when there is one keep left before another alliance is crowned Emp.

Zone chat, overall, gets worse when we cannot seem to accomplish any objectives. It is not just you. Not contributing to zone chat that is filled with the expressed frustrations of others would be a goal that I believe you have already started working on.

I believe in you, Emily.

Cyrodiil = Lord of the Flies at this point.

I don't think the game has anything to do with it, but toxic people have a way of rubbing off on you whenever and wherever you interact with them. I know I can't help but give them a taste of their own medicine sometimes, and usually I have a good laugh while doing it, but I'd be lying if I said the toxicity doesn't get to me at least a little. Being mean to mean people is definitely satisfying, but it wears on you if you give into it too much, and sometimes just like you OP I find myself snapping at people that didn't deserve it because I automatically assume the worst about them.

I for one always treat people like people though, and I never say anything to anyone that I wouldn't say to their faces. I can be quite confrontational though, so that's not to say I'm always civil. I don't understand how or why anyone would treat people differently just because they're interacting over the Internet instead of in person, people are still people and (most of them) deserve to be respected. I try to refrain from disrespecting anyone who wasn't first disrespectful themselves, it isn't foolproof but it generally stops me from making too much of an ass of myself.

The only times I hold back are when I interact regularly with the person I'm talking to, if I have to get along wih someone then brutal honesty and returning meanness with meanness can just make a mess of things. All too often being diplomatic can just get in the way of making your point though, so when I argue with people my tendency is just to be blunt, which is often mistaken for meanness even when it wasn't meant that way. I'm a passionate person with an argumentative personality, and people often mistake that passion for being either angry, upset or otherwise agitated even when I'm perfectly calm and in ny mind just having an ordinary conversation.

You just need to try to be mindful both of yourself and the people around you, and if you are going to be an ass to someone try to make sure they're being an ass themselves first. And don't be afraid of the mute feature, when someone sends messages to you trying to pick a fight just laugh at them and say "enjoy being muted *insert insult here*, bye bye now." thats what I do and it works like a charm, I love getting rage messages just because the people who send them are pretty much automatically an ass and I can dump on them with impunity, mute them and laugh my ass off at how pissed I made them.

I'm certainly no saint, but I don't like hurting well-meaning good people, the only time I can ever take pleasure from causing any kind of harm is when that person is causing harm to others, and even then the only harm I like causing is emotional by being mean and laughing at them. Maybe it's a symptom of me just not being that good of a person, but when I feel like someone deserves it I can't help but enjoy being mean to them. It satisfies my internal need for justice, it's not right for good, kind people to be treated badly, and when they are I can't help but want to balance the scales. It just feels right.

I run the risk of becoming the very thing I despise though if I'm not careful, and I try to be mindful of that. If I ever find myself being nasty to a person who didn't ask for it I do apologize, but that's no way to go about living, snapping at people and apologizing after. It's definitely better to err on the side of niceness rather than meanness, and I do try to do so. People don't always make it easy though, and when there's so much toxicity in one place it can be hard to separate the mean people from the nice ones. It's hard to go straight from having a heated argument with one person to having a calm conversation with another, so the more toxic people you engage with the harder it becomes to be civil with other people. It can be done, but it is difficult, and you may well need a break from it if you find that balance too precarious or challenging to maintain.

Not yet, even though I'm now in the alliance war. Think I managed to change my attitude after my early days playing gw2 world vs world.
Going to die a lot in the alliance war to various skills, whether considered OP or not and to multiple players of varying skill levels. What is likely to cause most frustration are the loading screens.

yes , game's like this (MMO) can do this to people or at least trigger an obsession for it . I speak of self experience because i caught my self beeing an a+@ehole or stressed up to other people and others have been serious doucheb@g's to me as well.
It's the competition and the strive for perfection in a sence , also when we consacrate much time into a game every day we want to run it flawlessly . that in combination with headset com all the time can build up any stress ..

it's human

DenMoria wrote: »

DeepPlayGamer wrote: »

yes , game's like this (MMO) can do this to people or at least trigger an obsession for it . I speak of self experience because i caught my self beeing an a+@ehole or stressed up to other people and others have been serious doucheb@g's to me as well.
It's the competition and the strive for perfection in a sence , also when we consacrate much time into a game every day we want to run it flawlessly . that in combination with headset com all the time can build up any stress ..

it's human

Some humans. I'm not competitive in the least. I'm an a**hat all the time.

ok , i admit .. i have a personality disorder