Typhoios wrote: »

The_Outsider wrote: »

vamp_emily wrote: »

Recently I have been a very bad person to several people. I say rude things without really thinking about what I am saying.

What is wrong with me? Is it the game that is causing my shift in behavior? I really feel that the people I play with are causing my personality change. I play PvP everyday and the chat can be some times toxic.. then I become toxic.

I need help .. I think i might need a break.

It's not ESO. It's the degree of anonymity that the internet provides. Really brings out peoples true colors by removing the need for self-control or restraint. We can say what we think without any actual consequences.

Pretty much. I always try to keep in mind if what I'm saying online is in line with what I would say if the guy was standing in front of me.

Yeah. If you're an elitist toolbag that goes around T-bagging every player you (or someone else) kill, the worst that can happen is a rage tell. You can't tell that they dude behind the screen is 6'4 and 250lbs of muscle. Try that jazz in rl and you'd need reconstructive surgery. Hence my theory that the largest toolbags in game are the smallest and most puny individuals irl.

Trash talk and Tbags are all in good fun most of the time. It's when people literally try to take away other peoples fun (griefing) that we shouldn't be okay.

The_Outsider wrote: »

vamp_emily wrote: »

Recently I have been a very bad person to several people. I say rude things without really thinking about what I am saying.

What is wrong with me? Is it the game that is causing my shift in behavior? I really feel that the people I play with are causing my personality change. I play PvP everyday and the chat can be some times toxic.. then I become toxic.

I need help .. I think i might need a break.

It's not ESO. It's the degree of anonymity that the internet provides. Really brings out peoples true colors by removing the need for self-control or restraint. We can say what we think without any actual consequences.

That's why I think it is important to teach people since they are young to be polite for the right reasons. If you teach them that they must be polite because if they are rude there will be consequences, they will be rude when they find themselves in a situation where there are no consequences (like on the internet, or towards someone that they perceive as being "below them" in society). But if you teach kids to be polite because it is the right thing to do, that other people want respect just as they want it themselves, hopefully they will take that into adulthood and be nicer all around.

Not saying it is the case with the OP. By reading the thread, I think the OP just had a bad day, and it is a huge thing that they are aware of their behavior because then they can avoid such situations in the future.

BlackEar wrote: »

Typhoios wrote: »

The_Outsider wrote: »

vamp_emily wrote: »

Recently I have been a very bad person to several people. I say rude things without really thinking about what I am saying.

What is wrong with me? Is it the game that is causing my shift in behavior? I really feel that the people I play with are causing my personality change. I play PvP everyday and the chat can be some times toxic.. then I become toxic.

I need help .. I think i might need a break.

It's not ESO. It's the degree of anonymity that the internet provides. Really brings out peoples true colors by removing the need for self-control or restraint. We can say what we think without any actual consequences.

Pretty much. I always try to keep in mind if what I'm saying online is in line with what I would say if the guy was standing in front of me.

Disagree. Just look at how much bashing is going on social media like facebook. The whole anonymity is greatly exaggerated in my opinion.

It is easier to bash a name and an avatar/picture then it is to say things to peoples face. I know a lot of people will talk *** to someone on social media but wouldn't say the same thing if they were in the room with that person. Even if you're not anonymous there is still a lack of immediate consequence. I'm not just saying that it is a fear of physical violence (although that does play a part) it is also the fact that communicating electronically doesn't let you see and feel the emotions of the people you're talking to. It is harder to say mean things if you have to actually see that person when you say them. Unless you're a sociopath. Ultimately people shoud be respectful because it is the right thing to do, but non in person communication tends to embolden people. Can you honestly tell me that you think people in general are as toxic in person as they are online?

vamp_emily wrote: »

Recently I have been a very bad person to several people. I say rude things without really thinking about what I am saying.

What is wrong with me? Is it the game that is causing my shift in behavior? I really feel that the people I play with are causing my personality change. I play PvP everyday and the chat can be some times toxic.. then I become toxic.

I need help .. I think i might need a break.

It's like winter. When the weather is ugly we often don't feel that great. When the people around us are ******* we tend to not feel so great.

There's a reason many people are much happier when they leave high school. MMOs and the internet in general are like high school only worst. People mouth off without conscience because it makes them feel good about themselves. They can put you down and there's nothing you or the rest of us can do to them. If you say nothing they shut you up. If you respond they got under your skin which gives them more power. It's a children's games. Like when repeating what another person says to upset them ... just childish. In person we could hold them accountable in various ways.

That carrying into your day is not a good thing.If you don't decide to quit PVPing in ESO I recommend joining a guild and only run with them, ignoring the rest of the zone. That's what I do. When I find myself outside of my guild's group I find I do not enjoy PVP and often walk away frustrated.

I don't enjoy PVP in ESO as much as other games. It was more about fun and honor in those games. In ESO it feels like so few people sees each other as anything more then AP. I'm not a fan of reward based PVP.

vamp_emily wrote: »

Recently I have been a very bad person to several people. I say rude things without really thinking about what I am saying.

What is wrong with me? Is it the game that is causing my shift in behavior? I really feel that the people I play with are causing my personality change. I play PvP everyday and the chat can be some times toxic.. then I become toxic.

I need help .. I think i might need a break.

It really depends on the target.

I can tell you the "hardcore" types have nearly no sense of humor. Everything you say turns into an insult festival.

With the less hardcore or not hardcore, you can actually joke around a bit regardless of who killed who.

Nope, only in Vet Maelstrom Arena even after completing it 30+ times already, whenever I lag, I start to get a bad feeling and lose focus then die/make the most stupid mistakes and also I kept changing my ring enchants so I was losing magicka big time and panicing lol... I was swearing like crazy, but in PvP, I'm pretty calm, even though I still swear in there too but in a humorous way, mostly

HI Em : ))

I get crappy when I let myself be surrounded by unpleasant people. If I am hearing a lot of complaining or griping, it is very easy to pick up. I have had a couple of people in my guild that I have actually kicked out just because of there negativity. Its not good for them or me.

Surround yourself with positive people. Think positive things. Remove the negativity from your circle of friends. I know of one person in particular, that is in your faction. He makes enemies everywhere he goes. Maybe this person's ego and negativity are rubbing off on you without you realizing it. Im sure you know who I'm talking about. We were doing so well until that one showed up : ))

Valen_Byte wrote: »

HI Em : ))

I get crappy when I let myself be surrounded by unpleasant people. If I am hearing a lot of complaining or griping, it is very easy to pick up. I have had a couple of people in my guild that I have actually kicked out just because of there negativity. Its not good for them or me.

Surround yourself with positive people. Think positive things. Remove the negativity from your circle of friends. I know of one person in particular, that is in your faction. He makes enemies everywhere he goes. Maybe this person's ego and negativity are rubbing off on you without you realizing it. Im sure you know who I'm talking about. We were doing so well until that one showed up : ))

Oh, look who showed up

Thanks for the advice.

OP - I'm glad to hear you're at least questioning yourself. That's a good sign.

Novel incoming. Skip if you want.

I've never quite understood it when people blame the anonymity of the internet. This may just be because I'm not one who can change my basic personality due to being online hidden behind an avatar. I was raised to be polite and kind and to "turn the other cheek" so to speak, to treat others as I want to be treated. In real life, I'm ridiculously polite and kind, probably too much according to some.

I'm human and I get angry and irritated as does everyone. Never have I been able to spout nasty things to other people, whether it's in real life or on the internet. When I'm angry, I don't say anything. I stop, step away and think. Nasty things go through my head but I have this weird thing where my mouth clamps shut (or my fingers refuse to type) and nothing bad comes out. When I give myself a few minutes (or heck, even a few hours or more in the case of my hubby sometimes - LOL), I eventually realize what I was angry about really wasn't that important in the grand scheme of things and I'm very glad I didn't say the things I was thinking at the time.

I look at everyone around me as people because they are. They aren't a cartoon character on a screen. They're humans and they're not perfect. No one is because we're human and we're flawed. We all have strengths and weaknesses, in real life and in playing games.

We choose how we treat people. Everyone out there is someone's mother, father, sister, brother, grandmother, grandfather, son, daughter, friend. Everyone out there has feelings. Because someone is a jerk first doesn't mean we need to be like them. There's no reason for it other than to make ourselves feel better in that moment (because we feel cheated, slighted, offended, or just that we think someone isn't who we want them to be or who we think they should be or whatever). When I see the vile stuff in chat, I stop reading. In all honestly, I rarely look at chat because it depresses me. What I won't do is get involved and add to it because it just adds fuel to the fire.

The world would be a much nicer place if people would just be kinder, gentler, more understanding. We already have enough violence and hate in the world. We don't need to add to it with verbal hate or rude actions in a game (a GAME for crying out loud, something that is supposed to be fun and enjoyed).

Off my soapbox now. Sorry.

*puts arm around Vamp_emily*

Lemme tell you something son- being rude in an online game ESPECIALLY in PvP is expected. PvP in ALL games is by definition competitive, crazy, and you should expect people to act that same way in PvP. Talking smack and calling people certain things in PvP isn't nice, but it's PvP... It's EXPECTED. However if PvP in a game is making you lash out at someone as you walk down the street IRL you need a psychiatrist.

In the end- Be a jerk in PvP and be nice everywhere else and it's all good

Switch off whatever device you're playing gams on and walk away now.

Do anything useful that makes you feel good about yourself and stay away from what is bugging you. In time you WILL feel better.

The game doesnt make me impolite, the forum does. ;____;

Essiaga wrote: »

In ESO it feels like so few people sees each other as anything more then AP. I'm not a fan of reward based PVP.

A week or 2 ago i got ganked by about 4 people at once... i forget if they were EP or AD ... but i messaged the one whos name appeared as the "killed by" and told them "Good kill" ... their response was and i quote... " Oh did we kill you? ... I dont see the player.. i just see AP"