Update 43 is now available for testing on the PTS! You can read the latest patch notes here: https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/categories/pts
Maintenance for the week of July 22:
• [COMPLETE] PC/Mac: NA and EU megaservers for patch maintenance – July 22, 4:00AM EDT (8:00 UTC) - 9:00AM EDT (13:00 UTC)
• Xbox: NA and EU megaservers for patch maintenance – July 24, 6:00AM EDT (10:00 UTC) - 12:00PM EDT (16:00 UTC)
• PlayStation®: NA and EU megaservers for patch maintenance – July 24, 6:00AM EDT (10:00 UTC) – 12:00PM EDT (16:00 UTC)

ESO Jokes

Ah_Rahgol
Ah_Rahgol
Give me your best jokes! I'll start.

Why can't the Vestige wear his favorite shoe?
He lost his sole (soul).
*ba dum tss*
  • Xeven
    Xeven
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    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    It's me Xeven.

    Come on in, Xeven.

    I can't, the keep door won't open.

    :trollface:
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  • Ah_Rahgol
    Ah_Rahgol
    I have another one, it's pretty dark though.

    What do you call a open-minded Nord? A beheaded one.
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  • Tannakaobi
    Tannakaobi
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    Making love is Awesome. Whilst all my mates are out doing it, I'm leveling up ahead of them in Cyrodiil! :#
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  • Lightninvash
    Lightninvash
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    group finder.... hahahahaha group finder more like afk finder!!
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  • natewook
    natewook
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    Zerg: knock, knock, bang!
    Fortress honor guard: who's there?
    Zerg: um... friends :trollface:
    Fortress honor guard: wait why did you bust down th...
    Edited by natewook on September 30, 2015 10:58PM
    sometimes I'll take subjects to far and ask for an arm, leg and maybe an eye, please be patent with me.
    remember this thread people: https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/193736/should-eso-turn-up-the-heat-aka-gore-revisited/p1
    necromancer? why I've neve- I would never do such a thing! XD
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  • Alucardo
    Alucardo
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    BN6zGTb.png
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  • notimetocare
    notimetocare
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    These are in-game ones... but...

    What's brown and sticky?
    -A stick.

    Person one: Ask me if I am a tree.
    Person two: Are you a tree?
    Person one: No.

    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
    -Because it was dead.

    Imagine your ship is sinking in slaughterfish infested waters. How do you survive?
    -Stop imagining!
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  • TheDarkShadow
    TheDarkShadow
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    Not sure if this is allowed on forums but... I made this joke in Cyrodiil once: (About Sejanus outpost) "Who is Sej and why his ... was named to an outpost?"

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  • goatlyonesub17_ESO
    goatlyonesub17_ESO
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    What do you call players in the alliance that is losing the war in Cyrodiil?

    Scrolless Ones.
    The Scroll Shriven.
    "Argonians have fat, scaly tails." —Rissa Manyclaws.
    "Once upon a time there were three sisters: Delicious, Delightful, and Disgusting. Now, Delicious and Delightful were both very pretty girls..." —Brendalyn Jurarde.
    "I smell to the nobility." —Indrasa Avani.
    "A bargain with an animal is not a contract made." —Haderus Atrimus.
    "Redguard makeup for sale. Free samples. Secret ingredients. Unique application method. Lots of satisfied customers." —The Mudball Goblin (aka, Cognac Vinecroft)
    "Your armor looks like underwear." —Shuns-the-Knife.
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  • K4RMA
    K4RMA
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    pvp
    nerf mdk
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  • Caza99
    Caza99
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    ESO is the joke
    PC NA - @MercerESO
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  • Mojmir
    Mojmir
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    #dev dirty,get away clean
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