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ESO Jokes

Give me your best jokes! I'll start.

Why can't the Vestige wear his favorite shoe?
He lost his sole (soul).
*ba dum tss*
  • Xeven
    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    It's me Xeven.

    Come on in, Xeven.

    I can't, the keep door won't open.

  • Tannakaobi
    Making love is Awesome. Whilst all my mates are out doing it, I'm leveling up ahead of them in Cyrodiil! :#
  • Lightninvash
    group finder.... hahahahaha group finder more like afk finder!!
    Lvl 50 Altmer Templar Magicka Healer
    Lvl 42 Imperial DK Stamina DPS WW
    Lvl 50 Altmer Sorc Magicka DPS/Healer
    Lvl 13 Imperial Templar Hybrid Tank
    Lvl 21 Altmer NB Magicka DPS
    Lvl 11 Bosmer NB Stamina RP
    Lvl 10 Altmer DK Magicka Tank
    Lvl 10 Imperial Sorc Stamina Hybrid DPS
    342CP :Þ
    Aldmeri Dominion
    xbox one NA server

    Indestructible determination that is incorruptible from the other side a terror to behold annihilation will be unavoidable every broken enemy will know that their opponent had to be invincible. Take a last look around while you're alive I'm an indestructible master of war!!
  • natewook
    Zerg: knock, knock, bang!
    Fortress honor guard: who's there?
    Zerg: um... friends :trollface:
    Fortress honor guard: wait why did you bust down th...
    Edited by natewook on September 30, 2015 10:58PM
    sometimes I'll take subjects to far and ask for an arm, leg and maybe an eye, please be patent with me.
    remember this thread people:
    necromancer? why I've neve- I would never do such a thing! XD
  • Alucardo
  • notimetocare
    These are in-game ones... but...

    What's brown and sticky?
    -A stick.

    Person one: Ask me if I am a tree.
    Person two: Are you a tree?
    Person one: No.

    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
    -Because it was dead.

    Imagine your ship is sinking in slaughterfish infested waters. How do you survive?
    -Stop imagining!
  • TheDarkShadow
    Not sure if this is allowed on forums but... I made this joke in Cyrodiil once: (About Sejanus outpost) "Who is Sej and why his ... was named to an outpost?"

  • goatlyonesub17_ESO
    What do you call players in the alliance that is losing the war in Cyrodiil?

    Scrolless Ones.
    The Scroll Shriven.
    "Argonians have fat, scaly tails." —Rissa Manyclaws.
    "Once upon a time there were three sisters: Delicious, Delightful, and Disgusting. Now, Delicious and Delightful were both very pretty girls..." —Brendalyn Jurarde.

    Rissa Manyclaws exists on both the North American and the European megaservers. She hangs out around Belkarth a lot. When Rissa grinds for XP, it's usually in Rkindaleft. Be sure and get her book "How to Make Monkeys Out of the Belkarth Guards," on sale for 700 gold from that book store in Shornhelm that went out of business a while back.
  • K4RMA
    nerf mdk
  • Caza99
    ESO is the joke
    PC NA - @Merœr , MagSorc Main
  • Mojmir
    #dev dirty,get away clean
    Raising floors and lower ceilings by zos standards has created an iron maiden.
    No matter how well you played,when the game is over,the king and pawn go back in the same box.
    Be careful what you ask for from zo$, you always get punished.
    Call me toxic,your the one being slowly poisoned by greed.
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