Kicked from a guild without warning or explanation...(Mild rant)

DagenHawk

Auction houses would solve all the horrible ways trade guilds treat players.

newtinmpls

I don't know...

I was in a guild once where the guild leader disappeared for months. No communication, no nothing, no bids could take place - basically the guild was kind of coming to a crashing halt.

After a few weeks of this, and discussion in chat "has anyone heard anything" and "what is going on" and "is [guild leader] okay?" with NOTHING back, one of the higher ranked peeps started requesting ZoS could they be promoted to leader so that the guild could continue to function.

They did not get much of an answer, and then a few weeks later, the GM returned.

Minimal explanation (basically none) about what had happened and why the long absence and NO word; then kicked the "agitator" for "trying to take over the guild" which was a snotty load of crap as far as I was concerned.

I made a comment or two about the confusion and distress the disappearance had caused, but the GM was far too concerned with preening and sniping and complaining to have any kind of dialogue.

I left.

There comes a point where you realize that the person isn't going to listen.

I say this story in a roundabout way to tentatively address OP's problem (maybe - I could be way off).

This is probably going to sound harsh, and I do not mean it that way, so apologies in advance.

Also - even if I'm remotely accurate in my guess, I doubt that my comments could be "heard" by someone doing such actions.

So I post this possibility, to encourage other people witnessing similar situations to say something - preferably in a private chat - even if it's uncomfortable to "confront" someone "only trying to be helpful". Preventing the pain that OP went through (if possible) in my opinion is a worthy goal.

There are two comments in the original post that I find thought provoking:

"possibly sounding like I was trying to run things since i would often suggest event ideas"

and

"According to my friend, the guild leader supposedly had gotten several reports of me annoying other guild members, making them not want to take part in events and after the supposed 4th report they said they kicked me. This as i said, confused me even more, because in voice chat NO ONE gave even the slightest hint of sounding annoyed or even a subtle remark that I had annoyed them. In fact I was in mid-conversation with some guildies when I was suddenly kicked"

Possible problem: OP's behavior was seen as so intrusive and so annoying and so over the top that "there wasn't any point in saying anything" (again, I could be wrong here). This has nothing to do with OP's intentions; it is all about perception.

Possible solution:

If you are new to a guild or situation, please pick one (socially) lower ranked person, and listen to how often they comment. Only after they comment, you put in a thought/comment if you have one. Then nothing till they comment again.

Yes this sounds dorky, but years ago in a new social setting where I figured out that my pushy (their perception) enthusiasm (my perception) was less welcome than I hoped, it's what I did.

It is really a pain - and I realized that quite often I would be thinking to the person I chose to "follow" that I wanted them to say something so I could say something. The fact that it was a struggle to do this was a lesson all on it's own.

It worked very well. Oddly it was probably a year later when I was complimented on my decorum by the very person I was "following" and I told them what I'd done/was doing. The really odd thing (to me) was their reaction was that if that was the case (and they clearly believed that I was being truthful) then they came to the conclusion that they were talking too much.

YMMV

RaikaNA

I wouldn't worry too much about this guild... don't let that guild turn you off from playing ESO... they do not represent the whole community... just a small portion of it.


I had a similar experience from one of the PvE guilds that I seriously thought about officially joining.... I would've had to leave 1 of my loyal trade guilds to be with this PvE guild.... Come to find out that the guild master baited me into a political debate (Mind you we were technically strangers at the time). She didn't like what I had to say, and she kicked me from the discord and started accusing me of stuff that was not true.

The moral of this is that just because their bad guilds out there doesn't mean the rest are also bad too. Just give other guilds a chance..

jaws343

SeaGtGruff wrote: »

FeedbackOnly wrote: »

A good leader would talk to their member if there was a problem like this before kicking. You had a bad leader and I am sorry for you.

I was about to say the same thing.

Guild leaders-- including assistant leaders who have permission to kick members-- are certainly not required to give members notice of any complaints and give them a chance to change any behavior that other members or staff have taken issue with, especially if the behavior is of "one strike and you're out" egregiousness.

But if it really was a situation where there had been four complaints, and it was only after the fourth complaint that the guild leader decided to kick a member, that suggests the infraction was of a much lesser degree of severity and the member was being given multiple chances to alter the problematic behavior-- except, if the member is never even told that anyone reported having a problem with some specific behavior, then how does keeping them in the dark give them any chance at all to alter said behavior?

I kind of disagree. If a new person to the guild is already causing complaints after less than a week in the guild, I really don't see any reason to try to coach that person, much easier and less hassle for all involved to just remove them and move on. Sometimes confrontation escalates things and makes it worse.

RisenEclipse

I'm not going to go into the how's and why's with the kicking part. We have only half the story here, and the guild in question might have a very different story on what exactly happened.

All I can say is that if you get kicked, move on. Find another guild. Clearly the guild didn't work out for you, if they wanted you gone. So just move on with your life and find a new guild to enjoy. There's plenty of them out there.

Making posts on the forums about it only seems like complaining and that you like to cause drama. Making it possibly even harder to find another guild. I'm certain that's not the intention here, but it might come across as such to others just as an FYI.

wolfie1.0.

EozZoe1989 wrote: »

i think then eso needs to have a thing in place were we have to be in a guild for 2 weeks.. and if then we can kick people beacuse they have not been on.. if tell people you not on for while they write it down.. or message them-- meow
i think some people go inactive and some guilds like active and money loll

I can't support this idea. It is very very hard to tell if someone is going to be a fit in your guild before they join. A mandatory two week period is not a good idea. It would allow a toxic person to be in the guild too long. I had someone join my guild once and then immediately started harassing members before I was able to get online and boot them.

Expecting me to endure two weeks of that type of behavior is not an acceptable option. I will just not allow access to guild chat until an officer personally vets them.

anitajoneb17_ESO

Well managed guilds with a truly nice and welcoming atmosphere are a rare thing. Many people try to start their own guild and recruit people without the slightest knowledge or maturity about how to run a group.

They all pretend to be nice and open-minded, and to just want to enjoy the game and help each other out, but most times in reality they feel like being the big god in charge and that's it. Officers are usually even worse : they feel all empowered in a environment full of contradictory and unspoken rules. Besides, there are dozens of very different ways to approach ESO and everyone tends to think that theirs is "the only approach".

From what you say, in your case, they talked about you instead of talking to you, and that's a major mistake often done by uncompetent managers.

If a group is working well, you can talk easily about anything and everything, including slippery topics like politics or religion, without any problem. But if a group is not working well, even talking about gardens or cat food can quickly go downhill.

Also, you mentioned PvP. Was it a PvP guild ? Without enforcing cliches about PvP, the coordinated and competitive aspects about PvP make the relationships within a group somewhat more tense and difficult to understand than PvE groups and social guilds.

Just keep trying : with patience, you'll find a suitable nice group for you. Good luck !

geonsocal

no one is perfect...we all make mistakes...i've been kicked from soooooo many pvp guilds...

it's sort of almost like a fairly common thing i think...try not to let it bug you too much...socializing can get really weird

Mr_Stach

This is a classic case of a Failure in Communication. If I were the GM, then I would address it so that you knew that whatever action was making other guild members to not want to participate.

Kicking then Ghosting isn't cool.

But There's many more guilds out there, hopefully you find one that joves with you better.

Lixiviant

Don't sweat it. There are good guilds and bad ones, and I've been in both types, many times. With people you are going to have many personalities, so just find another guild and enjoy.

Mythgard1967

Running a guild and serving as an officer is a thankless job and it can frequently feel like a job. It takes a lot of time and resources. Events and raids in particular take some time investment to make them inclusive.

Making a lot of suggestions on a bunch of events that could be done without thinking about the time investment it takes to keeping events running is...well...not very sensitive. Especially for a new member.

Keeping events going in a guild, keep interest up week over week is hard and many go by the wayside due to lack of interest over time. If you have newly joined and not learned event history nor understand what kind of events actually appeal to people week over week; making lots of suggestions in this space can come off...over bearing...again...especially if you are expecting someone else to lead them.

You might be having a lot of great fun ideas; but, as a new member .... not recognizing that someone else has to do the work to make your ideas happen is...well...not thoughtful.

Not saying you shouldn't have ideas and share them....but doing so repeatedly enough that someone could get the impression you were trying to run the guild suggests that you may have been excessive. I am guessing you may have voiced the same ideas over and over trying to get people to engage and people did not do so. This is probably more of a problem with approach.

That doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Those suggestions come from a place of passion and excitement; which in a game and guild is desirable....I think maybe your approach may have been off and it may be a case of too much too soon.

TwinLamps

If u got kicked out of a guild after PvP session, there might be a thing you did or said that made them remove you. I understand getting no info is bs but try to remember what you did that might result in such outcome. Some guilds do not tolerate tbagging, some go as far to remove you for not having working mic even in a world boss farm guild event. Basically, sucks to be removed, wish you find new guild you will enjoy and have fun.

NotaDaedraWorshipper

DagenHawk wrote: »

Auction houses would solve all the horrible ways trade guilds treat players.

Most trading guilds I've been have treated players well, like any other guild can.

Isteris

I am a vice GM and after many thousands of hours in game and a lot of guilds over the years I would give you this bit of advice. Any guild you join will have a core set of values built around the core values of the guilds leadership, take time understand what they are and if they mirror yours because if they don't however much you try you are likely to unintentionally make mistakes, After all said and done this is your leisure time/ escape from real world day to day stuff so being something you are not seems like more BS work. I never wanted to be a guild officer anywhere until I found a GM who is truly inclusive, race, Alliance, level, gear, skill and play style does not bar you from any guild event we run. I get that's not cool for a lot of players but for the 400 ish guys
in our guild it works because they have similar core values.

Mesite

I remember I was once in a guild and everyone disappeared for about a year. I saw there was loads of stuff in the bank but I didn't take any, although there didn't seem to be anyone around who wanted it. Then someone came back.

I said hello, and they said hello back. Next time I logged on they had kicked me out of the guild. I bet they took everything from the guild bank. Maybe I should have taken my share.

Tyralbin

Have been running a guild since 2014.

I have only kicked about ten people and those have been added to the blacklist. These are usually people that are being very disruptive in guild chat or being very rude to other members of the guild.

I do suffer from health issues so I have a few trusted officers that can make bids for me.

One of my officers has my phone number and I have his so if for some unforseen reason(s) we can contact each other.

I will never leave the guild in the dark.

I agree with the comments about researching before kicking too.

But do be aware that GMs are only human and can make mistakes. But when they do they should apologise.

SeaGtGruff

Mesite wrote: »

I remember I was once in a guild and everyone disappeared for about a year. I saw there was loads of stuff in the bank but I didn't take any, although there didn't seem to be anyone around who wanted it. Then someone came back.

I said hello, and they said hello back. Next time I logged on they had kicked me out of the guild. I bet they took everything from the guild bank. Maybe I should have taken my share.

If their guild ranking gave them permission to kick other members, I'd think they would more likely want to leave everything in the guild bank and use it as a sort of extension of their personal bank account, rather than taking stuff out of the guild bank and moving it into their personal bank account.

Also, you shouldn't assume that the other person kicked you from the guild. For all you know, the owner of the guild came back and decided to kick both you and that other player out of the guild.

xXSilverDragonXx

Sounds like a garbage guild filled with enough passive aggressive folk who lack the backbone to say 'dude, don't take this wrong but you are kind of coming off xyz' and give you a chance to evaluate said behavior. Also speaks volumes of how incredibly lazy and lacking in communication skills that the GM/ Officers are that they didn't try to speak to you privately about this. Consider yourself lucky to be out of there. Dealing with emotionally immature people online is really not a good thing.

xXSilverDragonXx

EozZoe1989 wrote: »

i think then eso needs to have a thing in place were we have to be in a guild for 2 weeks.. and if then we can kick people beacuse they have not been on.. if tell people you not on for while they write it down.. or message them-- meow
i think some people go inactive and some guilds like active and money loll

Having run guilds, that's a not great idea. If someone comes in and is a totally toxic jackwad, keeping that person around is not a benefit to anyone. Also, guilds need to remain active. Dead rosters help nobody. Some guilds have very short time spans like 5 days, but others have a few weeks, a month or longer. It depends on how active they wish to remain and what their goal is or what type of guild they are. I used to ask people leave a note with the date of the note if they were going to be gone and how long. Most guilds can afford 20-25 slots just for that. If the list grew to much you have to shave it down. People do stop playing once gone and that is why login rewards exist.

dmnqwk

Guild Leaders are usually the dominating kind of person who enjoys controlling their environment. Sometimes this can be a positive aspect, wherein they want to foster community because they have felt like it's missing in their real life, and sometimes they've been a victim and they want to inflict this kind of control on others.

The only way to ensure Guild Leaders have to treat people properly would require far too many resources than the game can muster - you'd need a Carrot, to incentivize guilds to create the right kind of community that respects people; while also maintaining a Stick in the form of GL reporting for behaviour that is unbecoming of a life form higher on the evolutionary scale than a cockroach.

And it wouldn't work, because when you look at politicians, those elected to lead us, you'll notice some are fantastic and champions for good while the rest are former tv quiz show hosts.

Unless a pattern emerges where you're kicked from multiple guilds for similar reasons, chances are it's not you it's them. And accept you can't please everybody. (Take some time to get over the bad behaviour, then get on playing. You'll get past their sillyness when you find a proper guild).

zaria

xXSilverDragonXx wrote: »

EozZoe1989 wrote: »

i think then eso needs to have a thing in place were we have to be in a guild for 2 weeks.. and if then we can kick people beacuse they have not been on.. if tell people you not on for while they write it down.. or message them-- meow
i think some people go inactive and some guilds like active and money loll

Having run guilds, that's a not great idea. If someone comes in and is a totally toxic jackwad, keeping that person around is not a benefit to anyone. Also, guilds need to remain active. Dead rosters help nobody. Some guilds have very short time spans like 5 days, but others have a few weeks, a month or longer. It depends on how active they wish to remain and what their goal is or what type of guild they are. I used to ask people leave a note with the date of the note if they were going to be gone and how long. Most guilds can afford 20-25 slots just for that. If the list grew to much you have to shave it down. People do stop playing once gone and that is why login rewards exist.

This, also the bar is higher for new guild mates. if you has been an member for years and simply dump an million gold in the guild bank then officers complains you had not done guild events this month you stay.

Now any good guild as I see it will have layers. You want an lower tire for recruitment, and an higher levels.
But the 5 guilds in ESO is nice back in WOW I could just join one guild and it was small and kept falling apart because infighting. Not seen anything like this in ESO. And as you can join 5 guilds you can shop around.

Northwold

Lumenn wrote: »

Their loss and don't sweat it. It could be anything, despite what you're told officially/unofficially. I once had a guild kick me the first DAY with NO reason given. A friend(who got me to join the guild) had let me know according to discussion later it was my ACCENT over voice chat. (While I was born and spent the first 11 years on military bases all over, a few decades in Alabama and some more decades in Texas has given me a bit of a southern twang) apparently ALL southern people are racist/sexists bigots with low a low IQ according to the guild leader. After laughing at the irony in THAT statement vs their action I moved to greener pastures.(I AM Caucasian, but my wonderful wife is AA and we have beautiful children/grandchildren. And you now know more about me than that guild leader that kicked me)

Again, their loss and don't sweat it as it could just be an issue on THEIR end.

If this is true I would have thought that actually is against the terms of service. It's racism.

EozZoe1989

the thing is there is guild iam in at moment i watch alot people get kicked for being gone in game for three to four days or a week.. with out any warning they kicked .. if they dont do anything in guild i imagine but if they are selling i think its sad..
the fact is i give gold to the guilds.. and we some us try are best alot of maybe..
i think sad to see people be kicked,,
and if anything add bots to watch this bad behaviour in the game..
stop this madness. or real people be better..
help make eso nice again
or make own guld and hope for the silence beacuse that what i got.. no one cares or talks..

jaws343

EozZoe1989 wrote: »

the thing is there is guild iam in at moment i watch alot people get kicked for being gone in game for three to four days or a week.. with out any warning they kicked .. if they dont do anything in guild i imagine but if they are selling i think its sad..
the fact is i give gold to the guilds.. and we some us try are best alot of maybe..
i think sad to see people be kicked,,
and if anything add bots to watch this bad behaviour in the game..
stop this madness. or real people be better..
help make eso nice again
or make own guld and hope for the silence beacuse that what i got.. no one cares or talks..

Pretty much every guild I am in that has an inactive policy is very clearly upfront on what to do if you are going to be away for a period of time and how much time they take into account before they kick a player. More often than not, these are trade guilds that cannot just keep members in the guild for charity, they need active members to stay relevant.

Tomboski

deathsia wrote: »

According to my friend, the guild leader supposedly had gotten several reports of me annoying other guild members, making them not want to take part in events and after the supposed 4th report they said they kicked me. This as i said, confused me even more, because in voice chat NO ONE gave even the slightest hint of sounding annoyed or even a subtle remark that I had annoyed them.

Objection: Hearsay...

oldbobdude

I realize this will probably offend you. You do sound a little pushy. Posting about the situation on the forum probably isn’t the best thing to do. If you have lots of ideas about what makes a good guild start your own. If people like your ideas they’ll join.

Lumenn

Northwold wrote: »

Lumenn wrote: »

Their loss and don't sweat it. It could be anything, despite what you're told officially/unofficially. I once had a guild kick me the first DAY with NO reason given. A friend(who got me to join the guild) had let me know according to discussion later it was my ACCENT over voice chat. (While I was born and spent the first 11 years on military bases all over, a few decades in Alabama and some more decades in Texas has given me a bit of a southern twang) apparently ALL southern people are racist/sexists bigots with low a low IQ according to the guild leader. After laughing at the irony in THAT statement vs their action I moved to greener pastures.(I AM Caucasian, but my wonderful wife is AA and we have beautiful children/grandchildren. And you now know more about me than that guild leader that kicked me)

Again, their loss and don't sweat it as it could just be an issue on THEIR end.

If this is true I would have thought that actually is against the terms of service. It's racism.

Well, it's a type of bigotry yes( which racism could arguably fall under) but not racism. I suppose I COULD have reported it if I had bothered to get proof or official statements from others and possibly forced my way back into the guild, OR laugh at the irony of a bigot kicking me because "all southerners" are bigots and go about my merry way. Their opinion didn't mean anything to ME, didnt affect a single important thing in MY life such as the feeding, clothing, etc of my family, why sweat what some rando on a video game thinks? Life's way too short

Karivaa

I’m so sorry that happened to you. Sometimes it is easier to not speak for a bit until people get to know you.

wheresbes

deathsia wrote: »

after just finishing a guild pvp event

My bet is that OP killed and tbagged the GM in Cyrodiil.

(Just joking, life's full of disappointments, that is it)

defcon.dealer1b14_ESO

There's always 3 sides to a story........