Kicked from a guild without warning or explanation...(Mild rant)

deathsia

So I don't know if this the proper section to post a thread like this in(mods feel free to move it if it fits somewhere else) but I just need to vent a little.

To be clear, I'm not mad, Just upset and very confused.

I was in this guild called [snip], it was a very social guild with daily events both in game and out. I actually enjoyed participating alot in them and everyone seemed friendly and open with me. Then I think it was 4 or 5 days after I joined after just finishing a guild pvp event, I was suddenly kicked from the discord server and guild with ZERO EXPLANATION.

To say i was confused would be an understatement. I tried PMing the guild leader on discord to ask what I did wrong only to find none of my messages going through even though we had at least one server in common which meant he/she outright blocked me via discord. This confused me even more so and I began trying to go over in my minds eye the entire event trying to find SOMETHING I may have said or done to warrant being kicked only to draw up a weak explanation of possibly sounding like I was trying to run things since i would often suggest event ideas.

Yet this didn't seem to add up in my mind since I was merely suggesting, not trying to tell anyone in some tone or way that made it sound like i was trying to sound as if i was in charge. At least to my knowledge I wasn't. Desperate for at the very least, an explanation to get some kind of closure to the confusion and sadness i was feeling since I really did like the guild, (it was fun, social and the event ideas while not exactly perfectly executed, still were fun to take part in.) I asked a friend who was in the guild to ask around for an explanation.

The explanation I got DID NOT give me closure, in fact, it confused me even more. According to my friend, the guild leader supposedly had gotten several reports of me annoying other guild members, making them not want to take part in events and after the supposed 4th report they said they kicked me. This as i said, confused me even more, because in voice chat NO ONE gave even the slightest hint of sounding annoyed or even a subtle remark that I had annoyed them. In fact I was in mid-conversation with some guildies when I was suddenly kicked from the discord and shortly after, the guild itself.

With all this said, I am still a little depressed and upset. It would have been one thing if people had openly told me I was being annoying or "too negative" but there was no warning and no explanation. So I'm just left here almost completely losing my drive to continue playing eso due to this less than pleasant experience.

If you've read this far, thank you. I don't expect any sympathy from anyone who reads this, in fact, that would probably make me feel worse. I just needed to vent somewhere people could see my feelings and thoughts.

[Edit to remove guild name.]

DreamyLu

It's always difficult in a guild, because this is a mix of different characters and sensibilities. Without intention and without knowing that, you may have said things - innocent to your eyes - but that potentially hurt/upset some. Since not everybody is able to talk direct to the person with whom they have a trouble, they stay silent, but later, they report to guild leader, and he/she is then in charge of solving the issue.

I'm a guild leader. I know that very well. Now not all guild leaders react the same. Personally, before to kick, I clarify situations and talk to parties involved. In 80% of the cases, the person causing the troubles isn't aware of doing so, because it's just a matter of different cultures and way to react. So, after explaining, the person changes his way and it solves the problem. If not, then as a final step, I will kick him/her off. But it's rare that it comes to that extent.

I would say to just forget about it and try other guilds. Good luck

spartaxoxo

Don't worry about it. I'm sure you'll find another guild open to input.

bmnoble

Seems odd you didn't get a direct response from the guild master, whenever someone is kicked in most of the guilds I am in for something other than not paying dues towards the trader bid or inactivity, either the GM or an officer will send a mail explaining their reasoning for the kick on a case by case basis.

The reason they don't send one for the trader bid dues is its a basic expectation that is outlined in the message of the day and is something that is explained when a new player is invited to the guilds. Inactivity is self explanatory if someone is gone for months sending a mail to someone who is simply not their wont accomplish much.

Not much you can do, best bet is to try joining up with some of your friends in one of their other guilds that way you at least, have someone you know there when your starting out in that guild.

DMuehlhausen

deathsia wrote: »

So I don't know if this the proper section to post a thread like this in(mods feel free to move it if it fits somewhere else) but I just need to vent a little.

To be clear, I'm not mad, Just upset and very confused.

I was in this guild called [snip], it was a very social guild with daily events both in game and out. I actually enjoyed participating alot in them and everyone seemed friendly and open with me. Then I think it was 4 or 5 days after I joined after just finishing a guild pvp event, I was suddenly kicked from the discord server and guild with ZERO EXPLANATION.

To say i was confused would be an understatement. I tried PMing the guild leader on discord to ask what I did wrong only to find none of my messages going through even though we had at least one server in common which meant he/she outright blocked me via discord. This confused me even more so and I began trying to go over in my minds eye the entire event trying to find SOMETHING I may have said or done to warrant being kicked only to draw up a weak explanation of possibly sounding like I was trying to run things since i would often suggest event ideas.

Yet this didn't seem to add up in my mind since I was merely suggesting, not trying to tell anyone in some tone or way that made it sound like i was trying to sound as if i was in charge. At least to my knowledge I wasn't. Desperate for at the very least, an explanation to get some kind of closure to the confusion and sadness i was feeling since I really did like the guild, (it was fun, social and the event ideas while not exactly perfectly executed, still were fun to take part in.) I asked a friend who was in the guild to ask around for an explanation.

The explanation I got DID NOT give me closure, in fact, it confused me even more. According to my friend, the guild leader supposedly had gotten several reports of me annoying other guild members, making them not want to take part in events and after the supposed 4th report they said they kicked me. This as i said, confused me even more, because in voice chat NO ONE gave even the slightest hint of sounding annoyed or even a subtle remark that I had annoyed them. In fact I was in mid-conversation with some guildies when I was suddenly kicked from the discord and shortly after, the guild itself.

With all this said, I am still a little depressed and upset. It would have been one thing if people had openly told me I was being annoying or "too negative" but there was no warning and no explanation. So I'm just left here almost completely losing my drive to continue playing eso due to this less than pleasant experience.

If you've read this far, thank you. I don't expect any sympathy from anyone who reads this, in fact, that would probably make me feel worse. I just needed to vent somewhere people could see my feelings and thoughts.

[Edit to remove guild name.]

I can never remember their name but there is a guild that spams every channel about how they are so inclusive, but if you type Hello in the wrong tone they will ban you. Some guilds are just filled with terrible people.

ZOS_GregoryV

Greetings!

While we can understand that it can be rather upsetting, getting removed from a guild. However, we ask that said guild not be mentioned by named as it is considered Naming and Shaming. Naming and Shaming is a violation of the Community Rules, and is stated as follows:

• Naming-and-Shaming: We do not allow posts or threads that are created for the purpose of “naming-and-shaming” other community member(s). “Naming-and-shaming” is the act of creating a post to call out an individual or group by name, and making them the subject of public accusation, ridicule and/or shaming. Generally, naming-and-shaming involves an in-game situation and/or Terms of Service violation, which the ESO Community Team is unable to assist with. A certain amount of rivalry and competitive razzing is healthy for any game community, especially one with PVP elements, but naming-and-shaming goes well beyond that. It typically elevates to a point where the subject feels legitimately harassed. We believe that naming-and-shaming posts and threads can be abused and are very harmful to the community. We also don't feel that publicly calling out or accusing others by name on our forums is in spirit of the game or our community. If you genuinely believe someone has violated our Terms of Service, you should report them in-game via the support interface — do not bring the situation onto the official ESO community forums.

If there may be any questions in regards to the rules, please take a few moments to review them here.

Thank you for your understanding,
-Greg-

Supreme_Atromancer

The idiot in charge of the major trade guild I am now a former member of kicked me 3 or 4 times "because the guild list moves too fast". Took days to get the problem sorted, and never even had the quality of personality to apologise. Done with those jackasses now, tho.

Anyway, try not to feel too bad. For my 2c, I'd say that *if* it was exactly as you say, it was a weak way for them to handle the situation. If you haven't done something that constitutes an immediate ban, they should have at least the decency to explain.

The take-home here is to reflect on whether there are things that might make gelling with certain groups a little bit harder. For example, input when someone is trying to lead is definitely something people can be quite touchy about- leading can be really challenging and it really can undermine that if someone's inappropriately butting in. It might be a good idea to always check in when doing so.

I once joined a "friendly, social, inclusive guild of friends". I tried to insert myself into the social matrix, but no one ever spoke or really engaged. After about a week of this, I decided to speak up about it. The guild leader for the first time ever, actually responded to me: she was not happy that I had anything to say about it, so kicked me.

I was pretty sad about that at first, it was early days for me, and I didn't have much of a community around me, but was really keen to be a part of it all. But here I am today, established in the game, with years of good experiences. I've made so many friends I don't know what to do with them all. And what are they? Some scuzzy little guild that was so uptight and fragile they couldn't handle someone asking a genuine question in a polite way without being a jerk about it. Long story short, although you might be sad right now, dust your pants off and just get on with it. No need to quit and miss out on the experience because of someone else's behaviour.

deathsia

ZOS_GregoryV wrote: »

Greetings!

While we can understand that it can be rather upsetting, getting removed from a guild. However, we ask that said guild not be mentioned by named as it is considered Naming and Shaming. Naming and Shaming is a violation of the Community Rules, and is stated as follows:

• Naming-and-Shaming: We do not allow posts or threads that are created for the purpose of “naming-and-shaming” other community member(s). “Naming-and-shaming” is the act of creating a post to call out an individual or group by name, and making them the subject of public accusation, ridicule and/or shaming. Generally, naming-and-shaming involves an in-game situation and/or Terms of Service violation, which the ESO Community Team is unable to assist with. A certain amount of rivalry and competitive razzing is healthy for any game community, especially one with PVP elements, but naming-and-shaming goes well beyond that. It typically elevates to a point where the subject feels legitimately harassed. We believe that naming-and-shaming posts and threads can be abused and are very harmful to the community. We also don't feel that publicly calling out or accusing others by name on our forums is in spirit of the game or our community. If you genuinely believe someone has violated our Terms of Service, you should report them in-game via the support interface — do not bring the situation onto the official ESO community forums.

If there may be any questions in regards to the rules, please take a few moments to review them here.

Thank you for your understanding,
-Greg-

WHOOPS! My bad!

Daraklus

Just affirms my belief that guilds aren't places worth joining.

Been in my fair share of guilds for different things, ranging from Roleplay even to PvP, making grand gestures of being friendly and welcoming.

... I have found commonalities with these types of guilds that I can't find the average joe appreciating. Like how Roleplaying guilds tend to be politically-charged in one specific direction, for example.

Last guild I remember joinibg was a PvP guild. Was eager to get involved with people, but no one played with me. Voiced this to an officer and was promptly kicked with some fairly harsh words levied against me.

FeedbackOnly

A good leader would talk to their member if there was a problem like this before kicking. You had a bad leader and I am sorry for you.

SeaGtGruff

FeedbackOnly wrote: »

A good leader would talk to their member if there was a problem like this before kicking. You had a bad leader and I am sorry for you.

I was about to say the same thing.

Guild leaders-- including assistant leaders who have permission to kick members-- are certainly not required to give members notice of any complaints and give them a chance to change any behavior that other members or staff have taken issue with, especially if the behavior is of "one strike and you're out" egregiousness.

But if it really was a situation where there had been four complaints, and it was only after the fourth complaint that the guild leader decided to kick a member, that suggests the infraction was of a much lesser degree of severity and the member was being given multiple chances to alter the problematic behavior-- except, if the member is never even told that anyone reported having a problem with some specific behavior, then how does keeping them in the dark give them any chance at all to alter said behavior?

Mesite

I was once in a guild and the Guild Master seemed to be drunk all the time, and occasionally if someone said something that he didn't like (usually for an abstract reason) he would have a weird argument and kick them out of the guild. In the end I was kicked out. The deputy used to try to talk him around in chat and whispered an apology after you got kicked. Strangely I joined the guild twice but the second time I joined, I left when I realised it was still happening.

kevkj

I guess you will have no muffinz after all, only nuttinz.

Ilumia

I am sorry this happened to you, it is not really fair to not give you a chance and telling you about the issue.
I don't know the situation, but I never hope to be in a guild where they lead so badly.
Maybe the guild leader didn't want to spend time clarifying and sorting it out, but then they probably shouldn't be a guild leader. Guilds are full of people, sometimes there will be issues, and having enough empathy to realize that kicking people has a real impact is an important quality in a guild leader. Otherwise they just have too much power for their unfeeling brains to deal with.
That said, everyone does make mistakes, and there are cases that are over the line immediately, but mistakes can be fixed, and giving a reason is a good idea.

ResidentContrarian

Let it be their loss.

I am surprised guilds can kick anyone, considering how empty the game has been recently...

francesinhalover

i have been kicked and left like...40 guilds?

you can find a new one, don't worry. always try to be friends with the guild leader by maybe trying to recruit ppl or donating gold, that helps.

it could be possible that the guild leader decided to quit eso and took his guild with him.

proprio.meb16_ESO

Id always be inclined to hear both sides before deciding... there are plenty of bad leaded guilds as there are plenty of toxic people around.

When a big guild has to deal with dozen of members and officers see something resembling the well known pattern of a troublemaker, they can be inclined to kick out someone too quickly.
The fact "there were numerous reports" makes me think OP involountarily got over the lines a few times too much (it happens, we're humans)... everyone has its sensibilities and every guild has its level of tolerance.
A warning or, even better, a couple of words to clarify issues before the kick would have been nice though, thats a major fault.

That said, just find another guild! There are plenty. Plus you still have friends from the guild you were kicked from, which will probably like to run content with you... a guild is something you can replace pretty quickly after all.

SammyKhajit

Sorry OP for your experience.

Please, ZOS, make sure guild experience is supportive and friendly before you launch into the Zenithar event in June.

LikiLoki

Welcome to reality. Many Guilds that care about a pleasant atmosphere inside have dictatorial rules and prohibit freedom of speech and any opinion that differs from the correct opinion. And the right opinion is the opinion of the guild leader. If you see in the description of the guild that it is friendly, then be sure that in this chocolate factory there are cruel overseers around every corner, evaluating your every word and so that your elf cap is painted in the right color
Join guilds where there is no rigid framework of communication. There people are honest, reasoned criticism and suggestions are welcome.
I've been a guild leader for several years now. And I've never kicked out a person who criticized me. We only forbid direct insults to other players. We fight together, rejoice together, quarrel and make up. We don't have a fabulous atmosphere, but we also don't have double standards and a Blade of Woe up our sleeve.

Lumenn

Their loss and don't sweat it. It could be anything, despite what you're told officially/unofficially. I once had a guild kick me the first DAY with NO reason given. A friend(who got me to join the guild) had let me know according to discussion later it was my ACCENT over voice chat. (While I was born and spent the first 11 years on military bases all over, a few decades in Alabama and some more decades in Texas has given me a bit of a southern twang) apparently ALL southern people are racist/sexists bigots with low a low IQ according to the guild leader. After laughing at the irony in THAT statement vs their action I moved to greener pastures.(I AM Caucasian, but my wonderful wife is AA and we have beautiful children/grandchildren. And you now know more about me than that guild leader that kicked me)

Again, their loss and don't sweat it as it could just be an issue on THEIR end.

VaranisArano

SammyKhajit wrote: »

Sorry OP for your experience.

Please, ZOS, make sure guild experience is supportive and friendly before you launch into the Zenithar event in June.

ZOS can't, unless they are willing to regulate what guilds (including my little guild of 10 IRL friends) can and can't do above and beyond what they already regulate through the TOS.

Arthtur

Just because nobody said anything doesnt mean everyone was okay. When i was in situation where somebody was... not fun to talk with for me, i just left voice chat. After some time i left guild too as this person was almost always when i so i couldnt even talk with ppl and because he was a leader's friend i couldnt do anything about it.

But about guild leader not talking to you before kicking... Well, if he kicks ppl without explanation that i dont think he is a good leader. Everyone deserves explanation why he is getting removed.

Dont worry, its just a game and there is a lot of ppl. Just try again. In the end u will find place that is good for u.

Iron_Warrior

My golden rule in terms of guilds is this:

- if they are acting too nice, it's better to not get too friendly with them , because soon you will realise how fake they are acting

If you want to join a new guild and in the guild page there is a long essay about how they are the friendliest guild ever, just stay away...

JanTanhide

Kicking you without an explanation is crass and childish. Sounds like it was a great guild to be in and have fun in. You may never know the "real" reason you were kicked and blocked but it sounds like some personal discourse between you and the person who kicked you.

I suggest moving on and chalking it up as another piece of the puzzle of life. There are many great guilds in ESO that won't kick you for your "annoying" suggestions. LOL.

Have fun and find a good guild that does the events you enjoy in ESO.

Take care!

JanTanhide

Lumenn wrote: »

Their loss and don't sweat it. It could be anything, despite what you're told officially/unofficially. I once had a guild kick me the first DAY with NO reason given. A friend(who got me to join the guild) had let me know according to discussion later it was my ACCENT over voice chat. (While I was born and spent the first 11 years on military bases all over, a few decades in Alabama and some more decades in Texas has given me a bit of a southern twang) apparently ALL southern people are racist/sexists bigots with low a low IQ according to the guild leader. After laughing at the irony in THAT statement vs their action I moved to greener pastures.(I AM Caucasian, but my wonderful wife is AA and we have beautiful children/grandchildren. And you now know more about me than that guild leader that kicked me)

Again, their loss and don't sweat it as it could just be an issue on THEIR end.

Geez! You "sound" like me. At least your upbringing. I too was a military brat and lived all over the world and the U.S. with the latter part of my young life (12 to 19) growing up in Alabama. I had already developed my accent so it wasn't "Suthern" if you will and I was a bit ostracized for NOT having the Suthern accent. LOL.

Kicking you from a guild BECAUSE of your accent is ridiculous. You have to wonder what goes through a person's mind that thinks that way.

Have a good day!

Jaimeh

If they had four reports about you, and they waited that long to do something about it, without reaching out earlier and telling you 'what you said/did rubbed some people the wrong way, or was against the guild's rules, etc.' wasn't the greatest GM management. But GMs are people too with their own shortcomings, so who knows why they chose to do it this way. However, if you are otherwise enjoying the game, don't let a bad guild experience turn you away, there's plenty of guilds and discord groups, so hopefully you'll find one you click with.

Ragnarok0130

Daraklus wrote: »

Just affirms my belief that guilds aren't places worth joining..

I disagree guilds create some of the most memorable and even long lasting relationships in gaming. I've made many long term real world relationships where I've even visited them IRL from memberships in MMO guilds. The tough part about guilds is finding one that works for you whether that fit is the content they do, the personalities involved, etc. You'll kiss a lot of frogs before finding prince or princess charming when it comes to guilds because guilds are as diverse as the people in them.

Lumenn

JanTanhide wrote: »

Lumenn wrote: »

Their loss and don't sweat it. It could be anything, despite what you're told officially/unofficially. I once had a guild kick me the first DAY with NO reason given. A friend(who got me to join the guild) had let me know according to discussion later it was my ACCENT over voice chat. (While I was born and spent the first 11 years on military bases all over, a few decades in Alabama and some more decades in Texas has given me a bit of a southern twang) apparently ALL southern people are racist/sexists bigots with low a low IQ according to the guild leader. After laughing at the irony in THAT statement vs their action I moved to greener pastures.(I AM Caucasian, but my wonderful wife is AA and we have beautiful children/grandchildren. And you now know more about me than that guild leader that kicked me)

Again, their loss and don't sweat it as it could just be an issue on THEIR end.

Geez! You "sound" like me. At least your upbringing. I too was a military brat and lived all over the world and the U.S. with the latter part of my young life (12 to 19) growing up in Alabama. I had already developed my accent so it wasn't "Suthern" if you will and I was a bit ostracized for NOT having the Suthern accent. LOL.

Kicking you from a guild BECAUSE of your accent is ridiculous. You have to wonder what goes through a person's mind that thinks that way.

Have a good day!

We moved around quite a bit but had also spent time in N.C., S.C. etc(Paris island, Havelock, camp lejeune) and both of my parents were from Alabama (its why we went back there when my dad got out) so I had an accent. Oddly enough going from S.C. to California I was teased for sounding country, then moved to Alabama it was because I was too city and spoke too quickly. But it's gotten stronger after decades in Alabama and Texas and people have strange ideas about the south . That's what struck me as funny about that guild leader being judgemental about a group of people they think are too judgemental 😂.

O.P. shouldn't sweat it. A whole lot of people good, bad, and in-between. They should make their own guild and invite friends since they have event ideas they would like to see implemented.

And thank you, have a good day as well!

wolfie1.0.

LikiLoki wrote: »

Welcome to reality. Many Guilds that care about a pleasant atmosphere inside have dictatorial rules and prohibit freedom of speech and any opinion that differs from the correct opinion. And the right opinion is the opinion of the guild leader. If you see in the description of the guild that it is friendly, then be sure that in this chocolate factory there are cruel overseers around every corner, evaluating your every word and so that your elf cap is painted in the right color
Join guilds where there is no rigid framework of communication. There people are honest, reasoned criticism and suggestions are welcome.
I've been a guild leader for several years now. And I've never kicked out a person who criticized me. We only forbid direct insults to other players. We fight together, rejoice together, quarrel and make up. We don't have a fabulous atmosphere, but we also don't have double standards and a Blade of Woe up our sleeve.

To be fair, guilds do have the ability to choose to not accept certian kinds of speech. For one, the guilds I am an officer in have a strict no politics, no religion in chat as well as a general respect rule. Those are restrictions on speech. We will tell you to take such discussions to other areas. We have these restrictions in place because we want to foster and embrace the idea that ESO is an escape and release of the everyday tension and stress from the real world. That is the ideal, though admittingly we fall short.

That said guilds are subject to ZOS'S code of conduct and TOS rules and they will crack down on anyone that is in violation.

Cendrillion21

I would have given you a chance to tell your side of the story, that was poor management on your former guild's part. Try other guilds, it can take some experimenting to find a good fit. You could also start one of your own, it sounds like you have ideas regarding how the guild events should go.

EozZoe1989

i think then eso needs to have a thing in place were we have to be in a guild for 2 weeks.. and if then we can kick people beacuse they have not been on.. if tell people you not on for while they write it down.. or message them-- meow
i think some people go inactive and some guilds like active and money loll