My patience with competitive multiplayer toxicity is paper thin

ArchMikem

I've been paying ESO since September of '15. Started dipping into Cyrodiil the following year, and got more series with how to play PvP around 2017. My main's AvA rank is in my Sig, I also have mid level AvA ranks on two other less played characters. I'm no stranger. In fact I've mained the same Campaign (currently Blackreach) thru several Updates that I consider myself one of the Vets, even if I'm still not a good player.

And I'll admit that. I suck at PvP. Mostly at my own choice. I've fought my way up the ranks using a PvE build. Cyrodiil is a place to waste time. After I've done the majority of the PvE content each Update I go into Cyrodiil for some AP and to help the Reds until the next content releases. I know all about the Tryhards, the bullies, the players with parts of their brains that haven't matured yet, and I keep Chat open because I want to callout and see callouts. But I have a problem, where I very easily form grudges. This only happens if I've been, "wronged" for no valid reason. I have a live and let live mindset. I NEVER bag anyone. I never taunt or harass of my own accord, cause I'm just here to play. If I engage, and actually win a fight, I'll leave. I don't do anything else to them. I even came up to a resource and got jumped by two players. I actually won a 1v2, for the first time in forever. What did I do? I used /Humble. I even wanted to message one of them noting how close they almost got me several times and say good game. WHY CAN'T EVERYONE BE LIKE THIS?

Instead the common experience for me is frustration. I literally have not gone a single session in Cyrodiil without being bagged by someone, and there's where my grudges come in. Once someone does that to me, their Gamertag is placed on a list. I will actively hunt them down, fight them, follow them, look out for them, and if given the chance return what was given in kind. After that, I leave. It's only fair.

Just last night I went to a keep that had just been capped by us and stopped at one of the resources cause I noticed someone fighting the guards. I demount, buff up and attempt to fight. Being a StamBlade my only good methods of fighting is trying to surprise burst and cloaking out when at a disadvantage. I'm not a brawler, and a lot of the time even my damage isn't enough. This fight though I managed to draw out for a while cause the other player was your cookie cutter StamSorc with the 1H&S back bar. Eventually I got pressured and exhausted of Stam and lost. The player then bagged me. THEN I got a whisper. Dude said it was amazing I've played the game so long and am still so trash at it. So what just happened here? In my eyes I had an honest 1v1, by the time I actually got to them all the Guards had been defeated, and instead of just leaving after winning, they had to bag AND send a hate whisper. So of course the list adds a new name and I reply, "I'm a PvE build, I just don't give a crap."

Of course though the rest of my night is pretty much crap cause I spent most of it under the influence of a grudge. Several, in fact. Just after this player a 4-player blue group decided to farm Arrius and one of the Nightblades decided my corpse was comfortable every time I lost to a 1v4. Even when I caught the player by themselves the rest of the group came charging up. The ones who taunt from winning unfair fights are especially, irksome. I never got to settle that one.

tl;dr

Cyrodiil is annoying, full of annoying immature players. But it's the only content left to do between updates. Y'all need to stop being rude. Go back to the good days when everyone used /Honor after a fight. I was here for that, you all used to be nice once.

redspecter23

Different people get annoyed or triggered by different things. He may have had a bias against nightblades to begin with, which led to the behavior after the fight. I'm no fan of nightblades myself. I don't think I've ever resorted to hate whispers over it though.

Also note that bagging or whispers are often used strategically by opponents to set you off, trigger you or to get a response that will cause you to make any number of mistakes. It may not always work, but they view it as a "why not?" sort of thing. Maybe you get tilted. Worst case scenario, you don't and it cost them nothing to try.

No matter how you enjoy the game, there will be large amounts of players who choose to play differently and they may resort to all sorts of behavior to show you how much they dislike your playstyle. I've gotten to the point where I shake my head. Sometimes they get to me a bit, then I realize that's exactly what they want and I try to just ignore it and move on.

Belegnole

lol, you might want to find a way to release that pent up frustration. Maybe take that list and sacrifice it to your favorite deidric entity.

Because unfortunately, children are allowed to play this game and there's nothing to stop them from acting out.

VaranisArano

I find I have a much better time when I don't get worked up when I die.

Like, of course the enemy killed me. They're the enemy.

As for taunts like tea-bagging, I'm not a PVE boss. They don't get my undivided attention for fifteen seconds. At best, it gets a laugh. At worst, it merits a screenshot, a report to ZOS, an ignore of the player in question, and then I go on doing the last thing that player wants me to do: keep having fun in PVP.

Runefang

Sounds like all their taunting is working, its meant to annoy you and put you off your game.

geonsocal

I don't think there's a dead enemy on the ground that I don't: guffaw, dance, sit in a chair on, celebrate, drink or play a flute over their dead body...

can't count how many solo keep/outposts defenses I've been involved with where I've stymied small groups trying to attack until they eventually make their way upstairs and overwhelm me...

I would probably hate me when I finally caught and killed me after getting oiled and burned by me for five minutes or so...

sometimes I'll do this to the same small group a couple of keeps in a row...

been fighting in cyro since 2015, I've killed lots of folks, been killed by lots of folks, I don't ever remember getting a hate whisper...

because i play off-hours during the week I'm also involved in a bunch of 1v1's...i definitely lose more of those battles than i win...

I might get t-bagged maybe once a month - it barely even registers though with me anymore...

I just figure they're too lazy to quickslot emotes

cuz, goodness knows if i beat someone in a 1v1 I'm gonna dance and drink over them...

so much of what the real world and tamriel is gets determined by our own perspective...

geonsocal

you know thinking of it - overall I'd say t-bagging is way down from what it was years ago...

I play gray host on both servers, I almost always hang around the battlefield or keep/outpost after dying (usually to see where that group or player might be heading next) - I really don't see a lot of t-bagging anymore...

call me crazy, but - I think text zone chat has also cleaned up a bunch too over the last year or so...

Ackwalan

People that taunt others after they win a fight, are just over excited. They win so few fights they can't help themselves.

ArchMikem

geonsocal wrote: »

you know thinking of it - overall I'd say t-bagging is way down from what it was years ago...

I play gray host on both servers, I almost always hang around the battlefield or keep/outpost after dying (usually to see where that group or player might be heading next) - I really don't see a lot of t-bagging anymore...

call me crazy, but - I think text zone chat has also cleaned up a bunch too over the last year or so...

From what I understand there was a recent mass exodus from Gray Host to Blackreach. Perhaps that's why you're noticing a decrease in general? They just took their attitudes to another Camp.

Runefang wrote: »

Sounds like all their taunting is working, its meant to annoy you and put you off your game.

Oh yeah it's working, I won't deny that. I know I should just find somewhere else on the map to go fight, but I end up getting baited back again and again with the vain hopes of vengeance. At that point I'm just hurting myself. Difficult to stop though.

All I want is the respect to come back. The winner bowing after a fight was great. When did bows change to bags?

BisDasBlutGefriert

One man says to his assailant "if i live, I will kill you. If I die, you are forgiven" such is the rule of honor

Sanctum74

Why do people make toxic threads complaining about toxicity?

VaranisArano

ArchMikem wrote: »

geonsocal wrote: »

you know thinking of it - overall I'd say t-bagging is way down from what it was years ago...

I play gray host on both servers, I almost always hang around the battlefield or keep/outpost after dying (usually to see where that group or player might be heading next) - I really don't see a lot of t-bagging anymore...

call me crazy, but - I think text zone chat has also cleaned up a bunch too over the last year or so...

From what I understand there was a recent mass exodus from Gray Host to Blackreach. Perhaps that's why you're noticing a decrease in general? They just took their attitudes to another Camp.

Runefang wrote: »

Sounds like all their taunting is working, its meant to annoy you and put you off your game.

Oh yeah it's working, I won't deny that. I know I should just find somewhere else on the map to go fight, but I end up getting baited back again and again with the vain hopes of vengeance. At that point I'm just hurting myself. Difficult to stop though.

All I want is the respect to come back. The winner bowing after a fight was great. When did bows change to bags?

IME, the players who always bowed, still bow. The players who always t-bagged, still t-bag.

Greasytengu

I always preferred /showtime

👐JAZZ HANDS!!👐

geonsocal

Greasytengu wrote: »

I always preferred /showtime

👐JAZZ HANDS!!👐

oh shoot, that had me rolling...nice...

too funny, I was in rayles fighting last night and noticed in the middle of combat all around - I still take time to dance, drink, play music and play dead around fallen enemy bodies...

i sort of weave emotes in to my rotations

short of making sure to keep rezzing allies around me (I certainly can't heal them anymore) - seems my focus is often on poking fun at my fellow combatants...

JayKwellen

It happens man. Sometimes it's just bratty people, sometimes it's people with anger issues, sometimes it's trashcans excited they actually killed you, sometimes it's taunting for a failed gank, sometimes it's just for luls, and sometimes it's just a friendly hello. Unless it's someone you have an actual history with there's no use really dwelling on it. In fact when it comes to the trolls that's usually what they want anyway. They want to trigger you and get a little rent free space in your head, so don't give it to them.

I bet a big part of it is the nightblade thing too. A couple days ago I took one of my magblades and repurposed her into a stamblade, and already I think I've been on the receiving end of more bags and generalized hate than I ever got with any of my other characters. I'm still not that good on it yet either, but just being a stamblade seems to instantly trigger a lot of folks, who then turn around and take it out on you when you die.

Grimlok_S

BisDasBlutGefriert wrote: »

One man says to his assailant "if i live, I will kill you. If I die, you are forgiven" such is the rule of honor

Ah, a man of culture!

biminirwb17_ESO

I rarely get any kind of abuse or baggings, the last time it happened was on a lv 27 alt I was levelling in GH, I killed a member of a 4 person group at a resource.

I then got a hate tell calling me an expletive deleted noob, I explained I had 1780cp and that he was the one dead on the ground, didnt seem to calm him down the salt flowed for 15 mins. The more reasonable I was the worse it got.

Great Fun

fred4

You're getting too worked up over this. It's not good.

I play a nightblade, because I'm a solo player by disposition and that's the best class for it. There is something of a paradox. As a cloaking nightblade you are always the aggressor, yet I am just as happy to defend. One of my happiest early PvP experiences as a, then, DK was surviving a gank and turning the tables at the, then, entrance to Imperial City. Now I am a nightblade who likes to survive as much as getting kills. People hate that. They perceive it as cowardly, because a typical squishy nightblade defends by cloaking rather than by tanking it out, which some people view as more honorable.

When I started this game I was really disturbed by some player behavior. There was a guy who whispered bigotries and insinunated he would track me down in real life. The most disturbing incident, however, was when 3 players killed my female nightblade and not only t-bagged her, but performed pushups over her dead body. The power dynamics in this game often remind me schoolyard bullying. This incident, however, simulated gang-***, something far worse.

I'm still here, so I obviously got over it. I don't think most people think about the sexual connotation of t-bagging every time they do it. On a more positive note, I think solely playing a nightblade can put you out of the loop where you don't recognise the group dynamics in a given situation. The best example of this are spontaneous duelling sessions. Where these occur in Cyrodiil, a nightblade in ganking mode will often be swiftly hunted down with players of your own faction standing by. Nightblades needn't be selfish, but I think there is an outsider nature to the class. Playing that class and approaching battles in cloak is a dual-edged sword. On the one hand you have an unmatched freedom to observe. On the other hand you are missing the interactive element of how people would react to your presence. Are they PvEers (in IC) who would leave you alone or flee? Are they "old and tired" and not even attacking you until you do it first? And so on. I think people don't like nightblades, because socially they're a bit one-dimensional, at least the gankers.

hexnotic

Why can’t everyone just be humble like me?

In all seriousness, the unfortunate truth is that many people take their aggression out in game. We all have *** that we go through, and we all have bad days. Some of us are bad humans, but not all. Understand why people are turds, and have the strength to take the high road. Compassion is key. It doesn’t make it right, but it can help with the patience issue that you’re experiencing.

The_Lex

I screenshot all my hate whispers and post them on a discord channel I follow. It's great.

Bagging used to bother me until I reminded myself that my self-worth is not wrapped up in my character. I'm NOT saying that is what's happening with you. However, lots of people take a death, bagging, hate whispers, etc., very personally. Bagging can be in fun (I know players who will bag their friends in other factions as a way of saying, "hi"). For those who are being malicious, just keep in mind that they have a real world to face when they log out. Many view their performance in the game as their only chance to excel at something due to circumstances or what have you. But, expecting respect in a PvP area....that way leads to madness.

And fwiw, there is a lot of toxicity in the end game PvE community as well.

NekoN3ko

Expect trash talk/actions when competing against competitors. You have to earn a "gf" or get taunted - take this a learning lesson to improve your game or get rattled and give up. Accountability.

Beaverton

I find critiquing their teabagging technique throws most teabaggers off their game, i.e. you need to be more careful about positioning over the head or you are holding the squat too long and it looks like you are just stealthing.

The only time I get mad anymore is when they are in offline mode so they made me waste my time writing a message to no one.

Ackwalan

Beaverton wrote: »

I find critiquing their teabagging technique throws most teabaggers off their game, i.e. you need to be more careful about positioning over the head or you are holding the squat too long and it looks like you are just stealthing.

The only time I get mad anymore is when they are in offline mode so they made me waste my time writing a message to no one.

People that send hate whispers while hiding off line are my favorite. I mail them a potato, they absolutely lose their mind. Some conversations that start out like that, last for days.

Skullstachio

@ArchMikem wrote: »

I've been paying ESO since September of '15. Started dipping into Cyrodiil the following year, and got more series with how to play PvP around 2017. My main's AvA rank is in my Sig, I also have mid level AvA ranks on two other less played characters. I'm no stranger. In fact I've mained the same Campaign (currently Blackreach) thru several Updates that I consider myself one of the Vets, even if I'm still not a good player.

And I'll admit that. I suck at PvP. Mostly at my own choice. I've fought my way up the ranks using a PvE build. Cyrodiil is a place to waste time. After I've done the majority of the PvE content each Update I go into Cyrodiil for some AP and to help the Reds until the next content releases. I know all about the Tryhards, the bullies, the players with parts of their brains that haven't matured yet, and I keep Chat open because I want to callout and see callouts. But I have a problem, where I very easily form grudges. This only happens if I've been, "wronged" for no valid reason. I have a live and let live mindset. I NEVER bag anyone. I never taunt or harass of my own accord, cause I'm just here to play. If I engage, and actually win a fight, I'll leave. I don't do anything else to them. I even came up to a resource and got jumped by two players. I actually won a 1v2, for the first time in forever. What did I do? I used /Humble. I even wanted to message one of them noting how close they almost got me several times and say good game. WHY CAN'T EVERYONE BE LIKE THIS?

Instead the common experience for me is frustration. I literally have not gone a single session in Cyrodiil without being bagged by someone, and there's where my grudges come in. Once someone does that to me, their Gamertag is placed on a list. I will actively hunt them down, fight them, follow them, look out for them, and if given the chance return what was given in kind. After that, I leave. It's only fair.

Just last night I went to a keep that had just been capped by us and stopped at one of the resources cause I noticed someone fighting the guards. I demount, buff up and attempt to fight. Being a StamBlade my only good methods of fighting is trying to surprise burst and cloaking out when at a disadvantage. I'm not a brawler, and a lot of the time even my damage isn't enough. This fight though I managed to draw out for a while cause the other player was your cookie cutter StamSorc with the 1H&S back bar. Eventually I got pressured and exhausted of Stam and lost. The player then bagged me. THEN I got a whisper. Dude said it was amazing I've played the game so long and am still so trash at it. So what just happened here? In my eyes I had an honest 1v1, by the time I actually got to them all the Guards had been defeated, and instead of just leaving after winning, they had to bag AND send a hate whisper. So of course the list adds a new name and I reply, "I'm a PvE build, I just don't give a crap."

Of course though the rest of my night is pretty much crap cause I spent most of it under the influence of a grudge. Several, in fact. Just after this player a 4-player blue group decided to farm Arrius and one of the Nightblades decided my corpse was comfortable every time I lost to a 1v4. Even when I caught the player by themselves the rest of the group came charging up. The ones who taunt from winning unfair fights are especially, irksome. I never got to settle that one.

tl;dr

Cyrodiil is annoying, full of annoying immature players. But it's the only content left to do between updates. Y'all need to stop being rude. Go back to the good days when everyone used /Honor after a fight. I was here for that, you all used to be nice once.

[/quote]

Just so you know, there was an update to the Terms Of Service a while back, with the addition that it is strictly against the ToS to Teabag other players, so if you can, get the name of the offending player, Report them with the in-game report system and leave it at that. Or DM ZoS staff via Support and Leave it at that as ToS violations are taken to a serious extent. (Just don’t expect any responses as it is usually dealt in a private manner.

Kartalin

Skullstachio wrote: »

Just so you know, there was an update to the Terms Of Service a while back, with the addition that it is strictly against the ToS to Teabag other players, so if you can, get the name of the offending player, Report them with the in-game report system and leave it at that. Or DM ZoS staff via Support and Leave it at that as ToS violations are taken to a serious extent. (Just don’t expect any responses as it is usually dealt in a private manner.

Meanwhile emotes like /teatime, /flipthebird, and /goutfang continue to be added...

ArchMikem

Kartalin wrote: »

Skullstachio wrote: »

Just so you know, there was an update to the Terms Of Service a while back, with the addition that it is strictly against the ToS to Teabag other players, so if you can, get the name of the offending player, Report them with the in-game report system and leave it at that. Or DM ZoS staff via Support and Leave it at that as ToS violations are taken to a serious extent. (Just don’t expect any responses as it is usually dealt in a private manner.

Meanwhile emotes like /teatime, /flipthebird, and /goutfang continue to be added...

ZOS's attempts to let people be insulting in non-insulting ways.

wheresbes

ArchMikem wrote: »

ZOS's attempts to let people be insulting in non-insulting ways.

And it works, IMO. Snarky emotes get me a laugh, t-bagging not at all.

CycnusX1TheGreat

Even worse are the ones in your own alliance that stand around and watch you die or fire their weapons at you when sneaking so the enemy can see you. Xbox NA is full of that trash

mustangmorgan31

hexnotic wrote: »

Why can’t everyone just be humble like me?

In all seriousness, the unfortunate truth is that many people take their aggression out in game. We all have *** that we go through, and we all have bad days. Some of us are bad humans, but not all. Understand why people are turds, and have the strength to take the high road. Compassion is key. It doesn’t make it right, but it can help with the patience issue that you’re experiencing.

I agree. I usually don't take hate whispers or T-bagging to heart. The world is not a very good place right now and I don't know what that person is going through in their life. If telling me that I am trash makes them feel better then I am glad I helped. LOL

SgtNuttzmeg

The thing that has always blown my mind is how serious people take this game. Too many people get too easily worked up. They overreact all the time. If you take the results of the alliance war serious in 2021 you are really out of touch with the current state of the game.

The majority of the really good guilds no longer care for objectives. They only seek good fights.

MasterSpatula

If someone bothered to whisper you telling you you suck after a drawn-out fight, then that person must also suck.

Also, there's little point in getting worked up over teabaggers. Vile people are gonna be vile. They're unworthy of your concern.

Lately, after a good fight, I break out the /memorialtoast emote. I hope people are taking it as a compliment, because that's how it's intended.