April Fools/Jester Festival ideas for ZOS!

Terfin

If you're talking about joke patch notes, and not actual patch notes, here's my shot:

- New playable race of sea-faring Khajiit have been added, called the Meowmer. Like all cats, they hate getting wet and have a natural fear of the water.

- A new alchemical treatment has cured Sheogorath of his mental problems. So long as he remembers to take his meds, all hail Jyggalag!

- A new, rare recipe has been added to the jewelry crafting line to forge the Infinity Gauntlet. Using this item will consume it, and also permanently delete half the player characters in the game.

- We have assured all messengers that you know exactly how long they have been looking for you, so they don't need to ask anymore.


Classes:
- A new Bard class has been added! Skill lines are Red Diamond, Red Diamond, and Red Diamond.

Templar:
- All Templar have run off to fight in the Crusades and have thus been removed from the game.

Sorcerer:
- A new Storm Calling skill has been added called Static Cling, used for crowd control. All races except Khajiit are immune.

Warden:
- Wardens are now able to talk to animals. You'll find they don't actually have much to say.

Dragon Knight:
- A new skill line was added that lets you turn into an actual dragon. Not your character. You. Best used outdoors.

Nightblade:
- Nightblades are no longer playable during the day, as has been the intention all along. It's in the name, people!

Bards:
- By popular request, Bards have been removed from the game.


Zones:
Cyrodil:
- We have heard you requests for a new PVP zone, and have moved all open world PVP to a more popular zone: Murkmire! This should introduce even more people to the joys of PVP... unexpectedly.

Coldharbor:
- Molag Bal has had a change of heart and decided to become the Daedric Prince of Memes. His realm is even more terrifying now.

Murkmire:
- Murkmire has flooded and is no longer available. All players who logged off in Murkmire have been washed off into the ocean.

redspecter23

All twilight matriarchs become completely still when they stop moving and instead all players constantly flap their arms around, while moving and while standing still, especially when afk near writ turnin locations and crafting tables.

Sylvermynx

Eh.... I have no use for April Fools IRL, much less the sort of stupidity that seems to happen in games. In fact, I don't want IRL holidays represented in fantasy games. Annoying.

Emmagoldman

wroble could retire

Meesha1170

A Rocking Horse mount

Banana

Weve fixed the lag and developed a technique so that everyone gets a 100 ping and 100 fps on any resolution on ultra.

wenchmore420b14_ESO

How about we do a a Tamriel "Jesters Day".....
Jester's Day - 28th Rain's Hand (28th April)
Be warned that today is Jester's Day in the all cities of Tamriel, and pranks are being set up from one end of town to the other. It is as if a spell has been cast over the community, for even the most taciturn and dignified councilman might attempt to play a joke. The Thieves Guild finds particular attention as everyone looks for pickpockets in particular.

BigBragg

They will announce that the base game is moving to free to play, and they will be adding armor, weapon, and jewelry sets to the Crown Store.


Your move.

MLGProPlayer

The game could run smoothly for a day.

Morgul667

They could nerf all skills for the first 5 minutes you log in, as anticipation of next update

Golnebo

All Khajiit are made to look like Garfield.

Glaiceana

Sylvermynx wrote: »

Eh.... I have no use for April Fools IRL, much less the sort of stupidity that seems to happen in games. In fact, I don't want IRL holidays represented in fantasy games. Annoying.

Well the Tamriel equivalent is obviously the Jester's Festival, so there's that

@Terfin really great ideas, thanks for the laugh!

Thanks everyone for your funny suggestions so far!

ijames1964

Would like to see the following, for a laugh of course.

A whole week of total chaos. The game running in bare minimum functions to all players as in.

All access denied to any and all addons, no mini maps, no auto invites, no Dressing room, No nothing.
Take all CP out of it. Play it how the a basic character would be today if starting a new toon at their max level.
Just make armour, armour if heavy you get the bonus for heavy armour if medium you get those and so forth.
remove all the procs/5th peice bonus on all armour/weapon sets. level the playing field. Want to watch everyone die

Would be great to see players getting back to basics.

richo262

They release outfit slots and make them character bound rather than account bound.

HighKinlady

Remake the “unusually long load time “ to say “unusually short load time”

frostz417

“We’re finally going to balance PvP”

TempPlayer

Golnebo wrote: »

All Khajiit are made to look like Garfield.

If there is lasagna in-game, no complain there.

Perwulf

Free 6 crown crates for ESO plus members.

forwardbias83

Patch notes:

We have decided to make Tamriel much more exciting for the second quarter of 2019.

In Cyrodiil and Imperial City, if killed, you drop all equipment, items and gold in your inventory. Free for others to pillage and loot from your corpse.

Dungeons, delves and overland content will have similar rules. All equipment, items and gold will be dropped on the ground from your inventory on death.

Because of these new changes. All equipment and items in the game will no longer be bound to account and can be traded. However upon death, all items and gold in your inventory will be dropped. Only items and gold placed in the bank are safe from being dropped.

For those that seek even more excitement:
A new hard core PVP server option will be added to the game. With the same rules above. However within this version of Tamriel. Molag Bal has cast a daedric spell causing dystopian madness and factions to dissolve. All overland content and dungeons will become unrestricted PVP besides the protection of cities and towns. It will be possible to kill people of your own faction and people you are grouped with. Be careful who you trust as a friend, as they might just be waiting for you to let your guard down, so they can take all your shiny loot!

freespirit

Saying they were going to buff Templers...….

Oh dear now I'm sad! :'(

jircris11

Glaiceana wrote: »

What are some ideas you can think of for pranks that ZOS could do to us or the game on April Fools day? I know it's a while away but I just thought it would be fun to come up with some things, maybe ZOS could actually test some of our suggestions out in the mean time?

I know there's going to be some sarcastic replies, but just try to keep it civil and in good humour The devs do read our posts after all

One idea I had was that the target skeletons in our houses could start attacking us, that would be quite a shock initially. Or perhaps they move location just a little, follow us around haha.

They fix all bugs and lag in the game for one day then say "jk"

cyberblast

All weapon visual designs will be replaced with some cartoonish toys for one day.

WeerW3ir

Add back the purchasable joke items from 3 years ago ^^

NordSwordnBoard

I saw in a forum signature once that turning on player collision without warning would be the best April fool's joke. I agree.

All "break free" or other grunting, yelling noises replaced with character's laughter.

edit: Add friendly-fire damage.

Glaiceana

NordSwordnBoard wrote: »

I saw in a forum signature once that turning on player collision without warning would be the best April fool's joke. I agree.

All "break free" or other grunting, yelling noises replaced with character's laughter.

edit: Add friendly-fire damage.

That would actually be amazing! And it includes collision for all our mounts as well, it would be a day of chaos! So many people trapped in corners

Veinblood1965

A good one they could announce would be that all those who aspire to master jewelcraft will be greatly rewarded.

SHADOW2KK

The constant April Fools joke is on us, the playerbase for thinking that the server will be lag free all the time.

abzdeman

LOOK GUYS WE FIXED THE LAG IN TRIALS AND CYRODIL.

NBrookus

Friendly fire will be enabled in Cyrodiil.

akl77

15 free crates for everyone, and the next day all the stuffs you get disappears