moved

Stania

Next update: crotch size token. Each token costs 1500 crowns and will add an inch.

BlazingDynamo

You should a content creator on YouTube. You've got the baiting skills brother

Samadhi

Stania wrote: »

Next update: crotch size token. Each token costs 1500 crowns and will add an inch.

"Dragon Bones"

Kuramas9tails

BUT you can learn the "Breton Cradle, Infant" and "Orcish Cradle, Peaked"




That's a start, right?

Rouven

Still doesn't explain why we don't have little argonids slitherin around.

duendology

I don't get why ESO is so strict with policing this forum when it comes to content.. the game's rated 18?

As for the children in ESO.. Doesn't it have something to do with Molag Bal and being Vestiges or something? Or is it that only we, the players, are vestiges (sacrificed in the Intro) ?

The_Smilemeister

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YL93GBHIQ3A

TheShadowScout

Rouven wrote: »

Still doesn't explain why we don't have little argonids slitherin around...

...it's the dominions fault!

AlienatedGoat

Kuramas9tails wrote: »

BUT you can learn the "Breton Cradle, Infant" and "Orcish Cradle, Peaked"




That's a start, right?

Nah, just even more creepy.

Think about it - all those empty cradles. Why are they building them? What purpose do they serve?

Prof_Bawbag

This guy/gal has learned what makes a great click bait title from those advertising tabs you see at the bottom of many sites and facebook.

NordSwordnBoard

The reason may frighten you: Vestigal Children

All of Tamriel
Is under a spell

We will 'see' no children
Until It's hibernation

If you come to Coldharbor, you'll float too!

Wreuntzylla

SydneyGrey wrote: »

FloppyTouch wrote: »

So bc we can’t dye underwear we cant have kids?

He's referring to the tightness of the undies ... raises the temperature of the man-things ... equals no babies. It's biology.

Hmm, I think we can support OP hypothesis.

Those aren't underwear, they are Euro swimsuits.




On the page linked below, scan upwards from lowest to highest birthrates. Setting aside countries that legislate birth rates or did in the recent past, what do they all have in common? Yes, yes it IS a penchant for Euro swimsuits...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_sovereign_states_and_dependencies_by_total_fertility_rate

aeowulf

Sorry OP, I tend to agree with a lot of your threads, but in this case you're wrong. The lack of children is not due to tight underwear, it's actually due to the 'minor slayer' buff everyone has these days.

HatchetHaro

While you're at that, can you at least also give Argonians and Khajiiti some love by replacing their underwear with whatever the men and mer have? I'm tired of always being gimped from my sexiness with less-sexy underwear. Truly the racial changes we're looking for.

Enslaved

DoctorESO wrote: »

My friends! I'm sure you've all noticed that there are no children in ESO. People near and far have theorized why this is the case:

• It would raise the game's maturity rating
• It would open ZOS to liability
• Sick players would abuse children in game
• The developers ran out of time to create the graphic models

But the real reason why there are no children in ESO is shown below.



Can we get some looser (different) underwear choices? Maybe then people will at least be capable of having kids. (Can you at least make underwear dyeable? )

If you have that tattoo, you should be legally not allowed to have kids.

Motherball

Rouven wrote: »

Still doesn't explain why we don't have little argonids slitherin around.

Exactly, I just did a quest where some dominion folks were eating their eggs. I wouldnt put my children in that sort of danger. Im glad is only implied in this game tbh. I dont want to witness it.

monktoasty

Where are the manziers

xenowarrior92eb17_ESO

im a disturbed and sick person but I feel insulted by you sir, I would never abuse children...only dunmer toddlers and I would refrain to just brutal backstabs.

purple-magicb16_ESO

DoctorESO wrote: »

My friends! I'm sure you've all noticed that there are no children in ESO. People near and far have theorized why this is the case:

• It would raise the game's maturity rating
• It would open ZOS to liability
• Sick players would abuse children in game
• The developers ran out of time to create the graphic models

But the real reason why there are no children in ESO is shown below.



Can we get some looser (different) underwear choices? Maybe then people will at least be capable of having kids. (Can you at least make underwear dyeable? )

Lol! You tricked me into staring at another dudes parts! Should've read the below caption before staring the dude's package. I seriously thought there something hidden there that I was missing. Good one! That deserves an awesome!

psychotrip

I demand a Conan Exiles style endowment slider.

Beamer_Miasma

duendology wrote: »

I don't get why ESO is so strict with policing this forum when it comes to content.. the game's rated 18?

With some minor local exceptions (some provinces in Canada), the ESRB ratings are not legally enforced in any country that participates in them. Game ratings are advisory, not law. So what you are seeing is a member of the gaming industry regulating themselves.

Violynne

I don't think making them looser will make a difference.

None of the undergarments can be removed, which means Molag Bal and his Daedrakin are going around Tamriel casting one of the nastiest spells I've ever seen.

red_emu

Stania wrote: »

Next update: crotch size token. Each token costs 1500 crowns and will add an inch.

Where can I get that IRL?

TheShadowScout

psychotrip wrote: »

I demand a Conan Exiles style endowment slider.

...like I posted:

TheShadowScout wrote: »

Maybe... Petition for crown store purchasable crotch bulges?

Wiener sausage size - 500 crowns, Banana size - 1000 crowns, Daikon Radish size - 2500 crowns!

Conduit0

The cyclical nature of gamers is quite amusing.

Morrowind/Oblivion: Why are there no children Bethesda? Its doesn't make sense! The lack of children is breaking my immersion!

Fallout 3/Skyrim: Oh god the children are so annoying! Why did you add children Bethesda?!

Fallout 4/ESO: Where are the children?!

Hurbster

Prof_Bawbag wrote: »

This guy/gal has learned what makes a great click bait title from those advertising tabs you see at the bottom of many sites and facebook.

Obviously used to read a lot of wrestling news websites back in the day.

jaschacasadiob16_ESO

There are children in ESO. Most of them are around 5 years old.

You can see them next to the undaunted camps, where they spend their day talking about science. Their names follow predictable patterns, such as Gandalf some_word,, Stam Dk, Questionable-argonian-name, ... They favor ridiculous shiny-colored cheap costumes. And the best if that you can actually kill them, in a duel.

Woeler

I don't see a problem

plsdontjudge

edit
My mom bought it, I swear.

Mattock_Romulus

SydneyGrey wrote: »

FloppyTouch wrote: »

So bc we can’t dye underwear we cant have kids?

He's referring to the tightness of the undies ... raises the temperature of the man-things ... equals no babies. It's biology.

But... does the Vestige's appendage work the same way since they have a counterfeit deadric body???

Rouven

Conduit0 wrote: »

The cyclical nature of gamers is quite amusing.

Morrowind/Oblivion: Why are there no children Bethesda? Its doesn't make sense! The lack of children is breaking my immersion!

Fallout 3/Skyrim: Oh god the children are so annoying! Why did you add children Bethesda?!

Fallout 4/ESO: Where are the children?!

When will they learn that everything needs it's own slider?!?!