At last!

researchmonkey

Gentlemen,

Celebrations are in order. There is, at last, a respectable establishment where one can go to relax and wash away the collected filth of overland and underground adventures.

The Marbruk Gentlemens' Bathing Club, proprietors of the finest toilet in Tamriel, is now open to discerning clients. You are cordially invited to take the waters at the club and enjoy a luxurious and refined atmosphere, and an endless supply and delivery of hot water.

Due to the level of interest shown, the management board of the club wishes to advise all members and visitors of the following:

• Khaajit and werewolf clientele will be charged an additional fur-clogged-drain fee for bathing services. Beverages and laundry fees as per normal.
• We regret being unable to serve human blood to Vampire clinete due to health permit restrictions.
• Bosmer clientele should note that no human bodies are served, either raw or cooked, as food on the premises, so they should conduct their filthy dining rituals elsewhere.
• Dunmar clientele are kindly requested to leave their slaves outside with the mounts in the stables, as their presence may offend some patrons.
• A strict dress code is in effect at all times downstairs in the lounge area, so Nord clientele should endeavor to wear something other than a freshly killed and hastily skinned dead animal.
• Prospective Argonian members may find bathing in the river more to their taste.
• There is to be no mixed bathing on the bath floor. Lady guests may bath during the odd hours of the day, while gentlemen members are requested to bath only during even hours of the day, when ladies are present in the club.

Respectfully,

Grumbles, the Vague.

[The Marbruk Gentlemens' Bathing Club can be visited by traveling to the Cliffside residence of @researchmonkey on the NA PC server, via friends list or guild rooster (Scheming Skeevers Imports, The Divine Pantheon, Iron Bank of Bravos, Elder Scrolls Exchange), or by imposing on anyone on those guild rosters willing to port you in. Since the bathhouse is no longer marked as my primary residence, please use the add-on "Port to Friends House" to port to any of my houses. (Yes, it let's you port to any house a player owns, not just their primary residence.)]

Drazkyth

What?

Turelus

Is there a brochure with some pictures I can look at first?

Sixty5

Visiting a toilet sounds like a pretty s***y experience.

Kahina

Turelus wrote: »

Is there a brochure with some pictures I can look at first?

I'm not sure you'd want to see those pictures ...

VoodooPlatypus

I am just excited there's a guild rooster!

Jaimeh

I take offense at the fact that this supposed temple of modern plumbing is amenable to only selective clientelle. How rude and backwards - I expected better of you, Greenshade!

researchmonkey

Mixed bathing! Never!

Argonians must use the river with the rest of the Guar.

Master_Fluff

Hmmm, should I make a character on the NA server just for these kind of events, I wonder...

LordGavus

Interesting, do you offer trial memberships?

SHADOW2KK

Taking the *** much OP?

(Scottish slang)

researchmonkey

Updated with embedded screenshots to help those suffering from Playstation and or PC EU server-itis.

Kanar

Missed a great opportunity for another "World's First" post.

Banana

Sounds like a sausage fest.

Storymaster

researchmonkey wrote: »

proprietors of the finest toilet in Tamriel

purple-magicb16_ESO

The finest toilet in Tamriel? I thought that was bowl of cold chili!

makreth

are khajiits and argonians welcome?

ZiRM

Light a match would ya!

researchmonkey

Dear @makreh ,

Khaajit and werewolf clientele will be charged an additional "fur-clogged-drain" fee for bathing services. Beverages and laundry fees as per normal.

We regret being unable to serve human blood to Vampire clinete due to health permit restrictions.

Bosmer clientele should note that NO HUMAN BODIES are served, either raw or cooked, as food on the premises, so they should conduct their filthy dining rituals elsewhere.

Dunmar clientele are kindly requested to leave their slaves outside with the mounts in the stables, as their presence may offend some patrons.

A strict dress code is in effect at all times downstairs in the lounge area, so Nord clientele should endeavor to wear something other than a freshly killed and hastily skinned dead animal.

Prospective Argonian members may find bathing in the river more to their taste.

Members are to please note that there is to be no mixed bathing on the bath floor. Lady guests may bath during the odd hours of the day, while gentlemen members are requested to bath only during even hours of the day, when ladies are present in the club.

Kindest regards,

Grumbles the Vague

pod88kk

What a pile of crap... Get it

SquareSausage

ive seen better latrines in the taliban cave system in afghanistan which are infested with camel spiders and encrusted in humanoidal faeceal debris

Jaimeh

researchmonkey wrote: »

Mixed bathing! Never!

Argonians must use the river with the rest of the Guar.

Not so gentle a man, after all