An outrage!

researchmonkey

Gentlemen, ladies and those of the furred or scaled persuasions,

I am writing to you today in order to elicit your support in addressing a most shocking and outrageous state of affairs in Tamriel. A vile and immoral perversion is being perpetrated in the very heart of our great land.

It is not my intent to cause undue alarm or bemoan the general sorry state of behavior in the towns and cities of Tamriel. Goodness knows our fine centers of commerce and society are all but overrun with those of a Vampiric disposition, with scarcely an hour passing without some youth giving hew and cry across the streets and plazas seeking a paramour to supply them with a bit of affection bite of affliction, without even the decency or grace to offer them dinner and drinks first. It should also be stated that in response to this public solicitation the vampiric street walkers in question then prostitute their services in full public view. Disgraceful indeed, but it is, alas, a sign or the so called modern times of openness and acceptance and it is not the immoral topic I wish to raise here.

Neither, I should add, is the disgusting Were-wolf problem we are forced to endure due to the aforementioned mood of openness and acceptance, which I'm sure you'll agree the less said about in polite society the better. Save to say that those that those who desire to wear fur public should take a note that the Khajit peoples manage this feat in an acceptable and almost dignified fashion with the simple addition of an elegant tail and an absence of ripping throats out.

No dear friends, it is not these everyday issues I which to discuss today, but a far more vile and immoral practice at work in the forests and villages of Tamriel. I write, of course, of the disgusting practice of cannibalism that the vile Bosmer of the Green Pact practice openly, and with the support of their so-called King.

I first encountered these Bosmer Pactites in the forests around the great city of Eldenroot, where they introduced me to their code of conduct for living, their so-called Green Pact. I took a polite interest as their explained their values to me, as I try to be as tolerant to different cultures and and societies as any Altmer can be. To be fair, many of the elements of their pact are related to careful reverence for and protection of the flora and fauna of the forests, with the pact itself being an ancient tradition in their culture. It was only when I met some long-dead spirits of deceased pactites that the more sinister side of this pact was revealed to me.

Indeed the Bosmer themselves forced me, an outsider to their vile ways, to judge the deeds of these long-dead criminals and apply further sentences to them. I was then coerced, over several days to follow their insidious machinations as these Pactites proceeded to turn on each other, their king, their ancient spirit guardians, their lovers, their tribal leaders and well-intentioned outsiders, in an *** of recriminations, assassinations, pillage, and general nonsensical mayhem. I am still unsure of which factions claim governance over what; Tree-Kings, Green Ladies, Tree-Roots, Hounds, and the spirit of Silvenis were a muddle of violent psychopaths bent only fulfilling their dream of preeminence amongst this collection of tree-hugging lunatics.

The situation finally came to a head when I reached a small village in Reaper's March. There to my horror I discovered that these Green Pactites still actively practice all the ancient elements of their vile code that I thought had died out with those long-dead spirits I first met. In their own words, "We must eat your sins". There tied to a table was a struggling tribes-woman, gagged and fully conscious as the self-appointed leader sharpened her knives, preparing for that evenings gustation, her mouth slavering in anticipation. "We must eat your sins". No madam, not in my restaurant; Tamriel, oh delicious feast for the eyes.

These pactites practice cannibalism in its vilest form. Not cannibalism for need, for hunger, nor for addiction, but for dominance, to show who's might is right, and who must suffer the fate dictated by another. Judicial Cannibalism.

Dear reader, can there be a more disgusting and depraved practice in all of Tamriel? I think one would have to search far indeed to find a worse crime. Let me be clear. This is not some cultural tradition to be forgiven, a foible or jest such as roasting Skeever on a stick for supper or having an Orcish bulter. This is eating people against their will and against common decency. I am reliably informed that even Argonians don't eat people, at least not living people, and they are reptiles for goodness sake.

With such behavior it is little wonder the forests are so full of hostile fora when their care is in the hands of with such vile creatures as the Bosmer.

Friends, I have alerted you now to this vile sate of affairs being perpetrated across our great land. I invite you to respond with suggestions for expunging these Bosmer pactites and their disgusting practices so that we might live with dignity in a proper upright society.

Yours with best regards,

Grumbles the Vague

Epona222

Ugh, tourists...

Vangy

Tree hugging lunatics.. LOL +1 made me crack up.

Vipstaakki

Pffftt.. Milk drinkers!

LegacyDM

Ok mr. gullivers travels.

stewhead2ub17_ESO

"Judicial Cannibalism". My new favorite term. Now this is how you complain. Well done!

dtm_samuraib16_ESO

researchmonkey wrote: »

Gentlemen, ladies and those of the furred or scaled persuasions,

I am writing to you today in order to elicit your support in addressing a most shocking and outrageous state of affairs in Tamriel. A vile and immoral perversion is being perpetrated in the very heart of our great land.

It is not my intent to cause undue alarm or bemoan the general sorry state of behavior in the towns and cities of Tamriel. Goodness knows our fine centers of commerce and society are all but overrun with those of a Vampiric disposition, with scarcely an hour passing without some youth giving hew and cry across the streets and plazas seeking a paramour to supply them with a bit of affection bite of affliction, without even the decency or grace to offer them dinner and drinks first. It should also be stated that in response to this public solicitation the vampiric street walkers in question then prostitute their services in full public view. Disgraceful indeed, but it is, alas, a sign or the so called modern times of openness and acceptance and it is not the immoral topic I wish to raise here.

Neither, I should add, is the disgusting Were-wolf problem we are forced to endure due to the aforementioned mood of openness and acceptance, which I'm sure you'll agree the less said about in polite society the better. Save to say that those that those who desire to wear fur public should take a note that the Khajit peoples manage this feat in an acceptable and almost dignified fashion with the simple addition of an elegant tail and an absence of ripping throats out.

No dear friends, it is not these everyday issues I which to discuss today, but a far more vile and immoral practice at work in the forests and villages of Tamriel. I write, of course, of the disgusting practice of cannibalism that the vile Bosmer of the Green Pact practice openly, and with the support of their so-called King.

I first encountered these Bosmer Pactites in the forests around the great city of Eldenroot, where they introduced me to their code of conduct for living, their so-called Green Pact. I took a polite interest as their explained their values to me, as I try to be as tolerant to different cultures and and societies as any Altmer can be. To be fair, many of the elements of their pact are related to careful reverence for and protection of the flora and fauna of the forests, with the pact itself being an ancient tradition in their culture. It was only when I met some long-dead spirits of deceased pactites that the more sinister side of this pact was revealed to me.

Indeed the Bosmer themselves forced me, an outsider to their vile ways, to judge the deeds of these long-dead criminals and apply further sentences to them. I was then coerced, over several days to follow their insidious machinations as these Pactites proceeded to turn on each other, their king, their ancient spirit guardians, their lovers, their tribal leaders and well-intentioned outsiders, in an *** of recriminations, assassinations, pillage, and general nonsensical mayhem. I am still unsure of which factions claim governance over what; Tree-Kings, Green Ladies, Tree-Roots, Hounds, and the spirit of Silvenis were a muddle of violent psychopaths bent only fulfilling their dream of preeminence amongst this collection of tree-hugging lunatics.

The situation finally came to a head when I reached a small village in Reaper's March. There to my horror I discovered that these Green Pactites still actively practice all the ancient elements of their vile code that I thought had died out with those long-dead spirits I first met. In their own words, "We must eat your sins". There tied to a table was a struggling tribes-woman, gagged and fully conscious as the self-appointed leader sharpened her knives, preparing for that evenings gustation, her mouth slavering in anticipation. "We must eat your sins". No madam, not in my restaurant; Tamriel, oh delicious feast for the eyes.

These pactites practice cannibalism in its vilest form. Not cannibalism for need, for hunger, nor for addiction, but for dominance, to show who's might is right, and who must suffer the fate dictated by another. Judicial Cannibalism.

Dear reader, can there be a more disgusting and depraved practice in all of Tamriel? I think one would have to search far indeed to find a worse crime. Let me be clear. This is not some cultural tradition to be forgiven, a foible or jest such as roasting Skeever on a stick for supper or having an Orcish bulter. This is eating people against their will and against common decency. I am reliably informed that even Argonians don't eat people, at least not living people, and they are reptiles for goodness sake.

With such behavior it is little wonder the forests are so full of hostile fora when their care is in the hands of with such vile creatures as the Bosmer.

Friends, I have alerted you now to this vile sate of affairs being perpetrated across our great land. I invite you to respond with suggestions for expunging these Bosmer pactites and their disgusting practices so that we might live with dignity in a proper upright society.

Yours with best regards,

Grumbles the Vague

Excuse me, do you have a problem with recycling?
I cannot, for the life of me, find better ways to deal with the departed.

They make good soup, depending on the vegetables and herbs you use, they could be fine blood sausages, the options, from a gastronomical point of view, are nearly limitless.

I truly cannot see what the problem is.

In the end: meat is nothing more than just that: MEAT.

On a side note: ever heard a dearly departed complain of being used as a food source?

Neither did I, and I think their silence could be seen as, indeed, an acceptance.

dtm_samuraib16_ESO

BTW, they ARE green... right?

WhiteCoatSyndrome

@dtm_samuraib16_ESO : What is this about vegetables? You are in violation of the Green Pact; off to the Ouze with you!

LrdRahvin

There is absolutely nothing in this this thread/post about were-turtles.


0/10