A selfish jerk...

Aztlan

I can't say I'm surprised, because the real world is full of selfish jerks. It just saddens me to be taken advantage of in a game I play for fun.

Here's the story in a nutshell. A new recruit joined our AD only guild. He claimed he was new to the game and needed help with a PvP build and gear. Since he was the same class as me, I took him under my wing. We chatted several times, and I gave him advice. He was very eager and said he would wear whatever gear and use whatever skills I suggested, but he didn't have much money or crafting skill. You can see where this is going.

In order to be nice and for the good of the guild, I offered to outfit him. I bought pricey BoE jewellery and I crafted a full set of armor. Counting the mats, my total outlay was at least 200K.

A couple days later, he was sighted playing for another faction on our server, and when it was pointed out to him that this was against the policy not only of our guild but another PvP guild to which he belonged, he became rude and abusive. After this, he was kicked from both guilds.

Now I wasn't involved in any of this, although I completely agree with the policy. However, the next day the player removed me from his friends list and has not responded to direct mail or communicated with me in any way. As I wrote to him, I think I least deserve a response. The right thing for him to do, obviously, would be to apologize, thank me for my time, and offer to repay me at some point. But no. Nothing.

I am left to conclude that this guy set out to take advantage of my good nature. Or maybe he didn't plan ahead. Either way, he was a jerk.

Just like in the regular world, I'm going to continue to assume that most people aren't like this and I'll continue to be generous and show good will. But I'm going to keep my eyes open, even in the game world. Sigh. At least i didn't lose any real money.

Publius_Scipio

In the real world you would have known not to trust an elf.

disintegr8

Not sure why you would by someone you just 'met' pricey jewelry, maybe you are a kinder person than I am.

Hippie4927

I'm all for kindness and generosity......to a point. But 200K out of your pocket? NO.....just NO! Not for someone I don't really know. Besides, what happened to new players earning their own way through the game like I did and I'm sure many others, also? That's part of the challenge of the game.

Curragraigue

First rule as a crafter. Anyone can farm gold for mats or farm mats themselves. It is not the crafters job to provide them without compensation.

You said you gave them to him to be nice. It was a gift, you may have expected that he would repay the gift through loyalty to your faction/guild but the fact is it was a gift and he has not lived up to your expectation. Shame that your relationship broke down but when you give a gift you should always do so without any expectation of receiving anything in return. You will be less likely to be disappointed then.

NightbladeMechanics

Gotta be a better judge of character. You were right to help a new player joining your guild, just not that new player.

Then again, in running a guild where you look to teach players up, you'll always have those who come, whom you pay gold to help outfit, and who leave after a short period of time for one reason or another. Learn to identify early signs of a guildy who is likely to stick around for more time, but also just embrace the lost gold as just another part of running a guild. It happens. Learn better ways to make gold, and you'll have more wealth to throw around helping people. Then, incidents like this won't bother you so much.

A third perspective to look at it from is that of an investment. You invested your money in that person in the hopes that they would return benefit to the guild in the long term. The golden rule of investing money is don't invest any more than you can afford to lose. Eventually, you'll invest gold in a person who will return benefit to the guild, either as a formidable PvPer once they've learned, or as a cool dude who helps make your community, or more. Hopefully, you'll find more of those in the future.

Good luck!

ForsakenSin

on xbox NA there was a guy begging on the chat for 5k gold so he can buy a horse and saying he just started the game .... some people were going to give it to him until i checked his ESO gaming history and informed it on the chat that lol he quit the game right away and his xbox was offline

This was me

SHADOW2KK

Kudos to you OP for being a good person, but ensure in future it is with people who are deserving of it.

Just like in real life

Ghostbane

The Greenshade Soup Kitchen hands out free Seducers every Friday, send em that way.

CatchMeTrolling

See where you're going but the first thing about good deeds is to not expect anything in return & to not expect others to be as kind, even the recipient.

Aztlan

Thank you for all of your kind and wise words.

Takes-No-Prisoner

Aztlan wrote: »

I can't say I'm surprised, because the real world is full of selfish jerks. It just saddens me to be taken advantage of in a game I play for fun.

Here's the story in a nutshell. A new recruit joined our AD only guild. He claimed he was new to the game and needed help with a PvP build and gear. Since he was the same class as me, I took him under my wing. We chatted several times, and I gave him advice. He was very eager and said he would wear whatever gear and use whatever skills I suggested, but he didn't have much money or crafting skill. You can see where this is going.

In order to be nice and for the good of the guild, I offered to outfit him. I bought pricey BoE jewellery and I crafted a full set of armor. Counting the mats, my total outlay was at least 200K.

A couple days later, he was sighted playing for another faction on our server, and when it was pointed out to him that this was against the policy not only of our guild but another PvP guild to which he belonged, he became rude and abusive. After this, he was kicked from both guilds.

Now I wasn't involved in any of this, although I completely agree with the policy. However, the next day the player removed me from his friends list and has not responded to direct mail or communicated with me in any way. As I wrote to him, I think I least deserve a response. The right thing for him to do, obviously, would be to apologize, thank me for my time, and offer to repay me at some point. But no. Nothing.

I am left to conclude that this guy set out to take advantage of my good nature. Or maybe he didn't plan ahead. Either way, he was a jerk.

Just like in the regular world, I'm going to continue to assume that most people aren't like this and I'll continue to be generous and show good will. But I'm going to keep my eyes open, even in the game world. Sigh. At least i didn't lose any real money.

Gotta look for the warning signs. I really would prefer not to write what I did, because where you are standing now every noob will fall under your suspicions for pulling the crap that guy did.

I guess the next best thing would be to get a second opinion if you really want to protect yourself.

Crappy situation either way.

bebynnag

my idea of helping a new player

teach them how to farm their own drop sets
teach them how to farm mats,
teach them how to start researching traits,
teach them how to level alchemy/provisioning & farm supplies
teach them how to make enough money/AP/Telval to buy what they cant be bothered to farm/make for themselves

i will craft armour/glyphs/food/potions if the person provides the supplies and gives me a gift

why do i do this? its not because i cant be bothered to do what you do, its because in the long run the player benefits more from knowing how to do it themselves & understanding the value of these items

TLDR:

Turelus

This sucks for you to lose contact with someone you were getting on well with, especially as you had no part in it.

Both those guilds which recruited him probably should have outlined their rules regarding cross faction play from the get go though, if they did then his anger and abuse is unwarranted though.

anitajoneb17_ESO

Did you mention he was a PvPer... ?


(Sorry, couldn't help it... I know I'm kind of trolling here... but still ;-) )

emily3989

I outfitted a house once but it was crafted purple stuff only

adirondack

You are hereby found guilty of having a helpful nature and a trusting soul.

You are sentenced to being known as a "good person" with no possibility of parole, and said sentence to be executed immediately forthwith.

Anazasi

Turelus wrote: »

This sucks for you to lose contact with someone you were getting on well with, especially as you had no part in it.

Both those guilds which recruited him probably should have outlined their rules regarding cross faction play from the get go though, if they did then his anger and abuse is unwarranted though.

The policy is very specific and listed on our guild application which you must confirm you understand before being admitted to the guild. I also use shisu' guild add-on to monitor cross faction characters in the guild. We also have very close relations with other AD guilds and follow up on the rumors we here about players. I realize this seems excessive for most guilds. But If you look at PC/NA Vivec right now and see AD struggling with guild group participation, you will see the necessity to find loyal elves is hard at best. I will admit that DK is probably one of the more restrictive guilds to join and it certainly is more of a process than most. But I look at my guild as a family and I do what i can to protect it from bad people. That's one of the reasons we don't have drama at all even with 56 members. Every once in a while a bad egg will slip in and take advantage of members but for the most part they never last more than week before they are gone.

So shame on that player lets make him walk naked across the map so everyone can shame him. Personally, I'm glad hes back on the DC side let that faction deal with the undesirable community members.

Potenza

error 699

NordSwordnBoard

There should be a charity called "Potatoes of Stendarr" or something where you can donate unwanted sets or gold and have it directed to a needy player suffering from laziness. Donations being anonymous prevents the rest of the hobos from getting your name.

anitajoneb17_ESO

NordSwordnBoard wrote: »

There should be a charity called "Potatoes of Stendarr" or something where you can donate unwanted sets or gold and have it directed to a needy player suffering from laziness. Donations being anonymous prevents the rest of the hobos from getting your name.

Except you would never know if the "needy player suffering from laziness" isn't actually a perfect jerk, or a trader who's going to resell high the next second, or both...

FakeFox

Aztlan wrote: »

I can't say I'm surprised, because the real world is full of selfish jerks. It just saddens me to be taken advantage of in a game I play for fun.

Just like in the regular world, I'm going to continue to assume that most people aren't like this and I'll continue to be generous and show good will. But I'm going to keep my eyes open, even in the game world. Sigh. At least i didn't lose any real money.

Are you sure about that?

geonsocal

great to always look for the best in people...prudent to expect the worst though...

AhPook_Is_Here

disintegr8 wrote: »

Not sure why you would by someone you just 'met' pricey jewelry, maybe you are a kinder person than I am.

Maybe he was a cute bosmer, hmm?

TheAngelofDeath99

Publius_Scipio wrote: »

In the real world you would have known not to trust an elf.

This.

SugaComa

You pc players are so wet behind the ears ... You'd never survive on console ... We have scammers like this all over ... It adds to the authenticity of the role play in my eyes ...

No I've never done but I've been a victim to it

NightbladeMechanics

SugaComa wrote: »

You pc players are so wet behind the ears ... You'd never survive on console ... We have scammers like this all over ... It adds to the authenticity of the role play in my eyes ...

No I've never done but I've been a victim to it

COD kids being jerks in eso too perhaps?

SHADOW2KK

SugaComa wrote: »

You pc players are so wet behind the ears ... You'd never survive on console ... We have scammers like this all over ... It adds to the authenticity of the role play in my eyes ...

No I've never done but I've been a victim to it

Eve Online on PC would like to have a word....

WildWilbur

puffytheslayer wrote: »

TLDR:

“Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
(Terry Pratchett)

WildWilbur

SugaComa wrote: »

You pc players are so wet behind the ears ... You'd never survive on console ... We have scammers like this all over ... It adds to the authenticity of the role play in my eyes ...

No I've never done but I've been a victim to it

You consolleros are soo bada$$ - it's makes me frisky...

GrigorijMalahevich

Haha @Aztlan

You and your generosity will encourage more bad people to try and do the same thing. I have no problem to make armor with my own mats for someone who directly asks me for assistance even if I don't know that person...

PvP is for killing, not for stealing!


On the other hand if this guy was playing as a Khajiit thief - he is just very good at role playing and you should feel ashamed.