Best ESO ...Jokes..Memes

DrizztWulfgar

Tell me your best Joke...any race any community ...anything..

MisterBigglesworth

Competitive PVP.

Vorcil

Overheard from two male npcs outside Wayrest;

- "Then I said, that's not my wife! that was a Nirnroot"

Because Nirnroots just will not shut the *** up.

VShane

How many Khajiits does it take to guard a Vault?

.......


Yeah, thats what I thought

Asmael

Group finder is life, group finder is love. Use it.

Alucardo

A Khajiit, Imperial and Redguard walked into a bar. No seriously, they walked right into it because the clipping in this game is terrible.

RobboEU

Lag free PVP

RobboEU

AOE Caps

RobboEU

IC population

Iove

No ETA

RobboEU

VMA

RobboEU

QuakeCon Battle Arena

WillhelmBlack

PvP

Iove

Class Balance

Asmael

Hum... ESO?

Iove

This thread got bitter so quickly XD

Iove

I'll just leave this here, shamelessly stolen from another thread in crown store.

SorataArisugawa

nicab16_ESO wrote: »

This thread got bitter so quickly XD

and soooooooooooo funny

Samsayia

Welp someone figured out how to spam the spoiled food emote and ran around Riften projectile vomiting on everyone and everything.

I dunno, I was crying laughing.

DrizztWulfgar

A Nord is taking his family to Ebonheart. As they travel down the road, they reach a sign that says “Ebonheart: Left”, so the Nord turned his family around and went back home.

DrizztWulfgar

What does an Argonian do when it comes home at night?

The Dunmer’s laundry if it knows whats good for em!

Samsayia

^

Welp, SOMEONE'S a Dunmer.

EsoRecon

Stam Sorcs

DrizztWulfgar

Molag Bal, in his infinite wisdom, decides to brainwash one of the races of Tamriel to help him in his conquest of Nirn. He decides to test which race would be best by having one of each change a lightbulb.

The Nord proclaims that “light is for milk-drinkers” and smashes the light bulb. He then blames the Altmer for the darkness.

The Dunmer scoffs at the light bulb, as it is used by other races and therefore must be bad.

The Argonian doesn’t change the lightbulb until he is forced into slavery.

The Breton tries to sell the lightbulb and calls it “the end to all darkness across Nirn”.

The Redguard is terrified by the lightbulb and stabs it with his curved sword.

The Orsimer breaks the lightbulb and stabs himself with it to have a good death.

The Bosmer doesn’t touch the lightbulb because it might be part of a plant.

The Khajiit steals the lightbulb.

The Altmer spends several years studying magic to create a spell that changes the lightbulb for him.

The Imperial takes the lightbulb as a sign he should rule Tamriel, but requires ten of his friends to actually change it.

Dread_Guy

One of the guards said this:

"if you want to lose 20 pounds of ugly fat, I can cut off your head"

DrizztWulfgar

Ooo I got another…

There was a Nord, a High Elf, and a Wood Elf are walking along a stream, when they decide to take a leak. The High Elf grabs a bar of soap from his bag, “We Altmers are a clean people.” The Wood Elf rubs his hands on some leaves, “We Bosmer, use the land to our advantage.” The Nord shrugs, pulls up his leggings and walks away “Yeah? Well we Nords know not to Pi** on our hands

Samsayia

^

You, get out

DrizztWulfgar

Maybe.....

Vorcil

DrizztWulfgar wrote: »

Ooo I got another…

There was a Nord, a High Elf, and a Wood Elf are walking along a stream, when they decide to take a leak. The High Elf grabs a bar of soap from his bag, “We Altmers are a clean people.” The Wood Elf rubs his hands on some leaves, “We Bosmer, use the land to our advantage.” The Nord shrugs, pulls up his leggings and walks away “Yeah? Well we Nords know not to Pi** on our hands

How about this one;

There were three soldiers in the Daggerfall Kingsguard, one was an Imperial, one a Breton and one an Orc;

After completing their sentries one day, they all return home to their wives and are greeted with a nice cup of Summerset Isle blackleaf tea. The Imperial says to his wife "Pass the honey, Honey", so his wife passes him the honey and he puts it in his tea. The Breton says to his wife, pass the sugar, Sugar", and his wife passes him the sugar to put in his tea. The Orc sits down and slams his fist on the table then shouts to his wife" PASS THE TEA, BAG".

Vorcil

How about this one:

Three adventuring Domini, a small fellowship, on a quest throughout southern Valenwood; perchance the Altmeri among the three (the other two a Khajit and a Bosmer) served once with a moth priest who transcribed an ancient Elderscroll which depicted an ancient waterfall somewhere deep within Valenwood, that as the scroll predicts, bestows upon those who take a leap of faith, wealth without measure.

The three travelled for years in search of this ancient and enchanted waterfall; until the Khajiit with his sharp ears located the waterfall hidden within a jungle.

The Altmeri, upon discovering the waterfall, carefully examined the waterfall and re-read his notes from the moth priest to the others:

"And there is such a location upon Nirn, bestowed by the light of Mundus himself, that whosoever calls out his dream and takes the leap of faith off the cliff, will find himself not landing in water, but in whatever he wishes, but only once will this work."

The Altmer, so fascinated and sure of himself took the first leap, and right before leaping yelled "Precious Gems""; and as he fell, he landed gently in a pool of gems.

The Bosmer was next to take the leap of faith, and right before leaping yelled "Gold!"; and as he fell, he landed gently in a pool of shiny golden nuggets.

Now the Khajiit, perplexed at what he could wish for, stood at the edge of the waterfall, trying to think of what he could possibly wish for; and at his perponderance, the cliffedge gave way, the Khajiit yelled "***!" and he landed in a pile of ***.

BurtFreeman

caldwell gold reward